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[soco]

Have any bisexual guys ever experienced shifts in "preference" later in life? I would say in my high school years I was very hetero(possibly from social pressure) but now as I'm in my mid twenties I'm noticing a pretty dramatic shift. I find myself checking out guys just as often as girls. I've even caught myself openly flirting with guys sometimes, something I never would have done 5 years ago.

I think everyone experiences shifts of some sort over time. It's not a static thing.

There's a very common stereotype in the gay community that many gays have experienced... Many gay men, in the process of coming out, identify first as straight, then bisexual, and then gay. I've seen it happen for many people between the ages of 14 to 25ish. It's not always true, but it happens a lot.

 

[ShadyLurker]

I think everyone experiences shifts of some sort over time. It's not a static thing.

There's a very common stereotype in the gay community that many gays have experienced... Many gay men, in the process of coming out, identify first as straight, then bisexual, and then gay. I've seen it happen for many people between the ages of 14 to 25ish. It's not always true, but it happens a lot.

I've actually considered that, but it's not just that I identify as something different. I mean I've had relationships with women that I enjoyed and didn't feel awkward or anything, and I still find women attractive.

It's not so much that my attraction is changing. I still am attracted to women as much as I ever was. It's like my attraction to men is a seperate entity that's just increased to match it. If that makes sense...

Edit: but I suppose that attraction could keep growing to the point that its much stronger than my hetero feelings. I'm okay with that if it happens. But honestly I'm pretty happy with where I'm at now. It certainly keeps lots of options open

 

[dragonlife]

Well, I originally came out as bi in 8th grade because I was sure that's what I was, since I thought back on a girl from my childhood that I was madly in love with and even asked her to be my girlfriend. This was waaaaaaaay back in my youth--puppy love, you could say. Seriously, we weren't over 9. Anyway, I still remember my heart racing whenever I thought of her and the day I decided to ask her to be my girlfriend because I thought I'd explode from elation. We even went on dates under the supervision of our older sisters (who were friends). I even bought her gifts and chocolate and all that crap. What a sucker I was Even so, I'd say she really affected me and she always remained in the back of my head, which probably made me focus on that too much when trying to figure out what I was in later years.

I always had a things for dudes, too, in the sense that I'd get embarrassed and be a bit shy when I'd be around them (talking about older dudes, here), though the strong attraction towards males didn't really manifest till 6th grade. And it was strong. It got even stronger the next year, and that was the year I finally learned what bi, gay, etc. were (Yes, I was a sheltered kid). I always thought I was normal for liking both, though.

It wasn't till high school that I realized I'd probably never feel anything for women anymore, and to stop using the girl from my past as an anchor because it just confused me. A lot. I'm still not sure how to properly explain her in the grand scheme of things, honestly. And she wasn't the only girl I felt that way about, either. My attraction for dudes just took over, so it was easy to move on, so to speak.

TL;DR: Came out as bi, am now gay, gay, gay! But I'd theoretically do it with a woman for the experience.

Spoiler

Maybe not eat her out, though...

sphinx, mi amigo, everytime I see this guy around, he reminds me so much of you.

Wow, they do look alike.

 

[RatskyWatsky]

Have any bisexual guys ever experienced shifts in "preference" later in life?

I've always been pretty 50/50, though occasionally I'll lean more towards one than the other. It's a very fluid thing and it's never very extreme one way or the other. I'm not in the "later in life" bracket though, so I can't really comment on that part.

 

[sphinx]

sphinx, mi amigo, everytime I see this guy around, he reminds me so much of you.

is he a friend of yours?

I've never seen him, he looks like a mexican telenovela actor. who is he?

Wow, they do look alike.

dunno

I definitely, absolutely don't have that torso, lol

 

[ShadyLurker]

Well, I originally came out as bi in 8th grade because I was sure that's what I was, since I thought back on a girl from my childhood that I was madly in love with and even asked her to be my girlfriend. This was waaaaaaaay back in my youth--puppy love, you could say. Seriously, we weren't over 9. Anyway, I still remember my heart racing whenever I thought of her and the day I decided to ask her to be my girlfriend because I thought I'd explode from elation. We even went on dates under the supervision of our older sisters (who were friends). I even bought her gifts and chocolate and all that crap. What a sucker I was Even so, I'd say she really affected me and she always remained in the back of my head, which probably made me focus on that too much when trying to figure out what I was in later years.

I always had a things for dudes, too, in the sense that I'd get embarrassed and be a bit shy when I'd be around them (talking about older dudes, here), though the strong attraction towards males didn't really manifest till 6th grade. And it was strong. It got even stronger the next year, and that was the year I finally learned what bi, gay, etc. were (Yes, I was a sheltered kid). I always thought I was normal for liking both, though.

It wasn't till high school that I realized I'd probably never feel anything for women anymore, and to stop using the girl from my past as an anchor because it just confused me. A lot. I'm still not sure how to properly explain her in the grand scheme of things, honestly. And she wasn't the only girl I felt that way about, either. My attraction for dudes just took over, so it was easy to move on, so to speak.

TL;DR: Came out as bi, am now gay, gay, gay! But I'd theoretically do it with a woman for the experience.

Spoiler

Maybe not eat her out, though...

Wow, they do look alike.

Dragonlife a sugar daddy at age 9 lol That's a cute story though.

Something like you describe I can see happening once you hit the puberty age. I did that in my early teens and came to the conclusion that I was mostly straight bought definitely interested in guys as well. I was pretty confident that's how I would stay until around 18 or 19

Spoiler

when I made out with a guy and it made me rethink things

Ever since then it seems it's been growing stronger up to the point now where I really think my "hetero preference" is pretty much gone.I just didn't expect it to come at this point in my life is all. I thought it was kind of odd, maybe not as much as I think.

 

[Lowlander2]

My preference seems to change day by day, so you'd have to flip a coin to decide which sex I prefer at any given moment. It feels like I'm shifting more towards mine, though.

Speaking of which, there's this one guy whose...aesthetic appeal has taken some of the ire out of that frustrating newspaper production week. He has this weird but alluring strap of almost but not quite facial hair across his cheek, as if it's scar tissue or some sort of birthmark but nowhere near as gross. Today, on the last day, he had a sleeveless tank top and he looked pretty dandy.

Given it was the final day of the production, I get the feeling it would have been a brilliant time to see if the class wanted to head to the on-campus tavern. Or maybe just him. But that would probably be a bit too strong. And I'm not too sure what his preferences are, because you can never tell these days.

 

[Bel Marduk]

Thats the only way it will work. Marriage laws are state by state, not a federal matter.

Yes, but if DOMA is repealed (which I suspect it will be,) states will once again be forced to recognize marriages performed in other states.. so it won't matter. Places like Kentucky and Alabama will make a major fuss about having to recognize gay marriages but they'll have to do it. Could get ugly but its going to happen, yo!

 

[BeesEight]

So I came out to my brother and it turns out he is also gay lol.

Now we have to figure out how to tell our super religious (Pastors of a church) and gay hating parents that both their sons are gay. Should be fun.

Congrats!

If the parents make a stink about it, tell them that it's clearly something they've been doing wrong since they're 2 for 2!

Spoiler

Don't actually do this. That must be really good to have a brother going through the same things though.

Ok this thing definitely runs in families heh I'm exactly the same, gay brother and gay cousin.

Ok bisexual brother, almost the same.

My immediate and extended family are boringly straight. Guess that makes me a unique snowflake.

I always had a things for dudes, too, in the sense that I'd get embarrassed and be a bit shy when I'd be around them (talking about older dudes, here), though the strong attraction towards males didn't really manifest till 6th grade. And it was strong. It got even stronger the next year, and that was the year I finally learned what bi, gay, etc. were (Yes, I was a sheltered kid). I always thought I was normal for liking both, though.[/spoiler]

I definitely didn't learn about any of that stuff until middle/high school. On the other hand, I grew up in rural town Ontario and we didn't even get sex ed until my family moved out of there (and even then I don't think there was any discussion of non-heterosexuality until I hit high school). On reflection, I kind of feel bad for anyone that may have been transgendered since there was absolutely zero resources or information about that. Wonder if that could explain why we had so few 'out' kids in my school.

(And then a lot of them graduated and became fabulous in university.)

I definitely, absolutely don't have that torso, lol

We're going to need pics to corroborate this.

 

[Trigger]

So I came out to my brother and it turns out he is also gay lol.

Now we have to figure out how to tell our super religious (Pastors of a church) and gay hating parents that both their sons are gay. Should be fun.

That's actually pretty damn cool.

 

[Jezan]

do you have a list of real mexicans? and wasn't inthezone from Monterrey? and SaintZ is from Matamoros if memory serves me well.

Yeah, Monterrey people high-five
I'm living right now in Estado de Mexico though

So I came out to my brother and it turns out he is also gay lol.

Now we have to figure out how to tell our super religious (Pastors of a church) and gay hating parents that both their sons are gay. Should be fun.

That's gonna be interesting, but I'm sure nothing to be too worried about, parents love their kids no matter what, they will understand even if it takes time.

 

[mantidor]

is he a friend of yours?

I've never seen him, he looks like a mexican telenovela actor. who is he?



dunno

I definitely, absolutely don't have that torso, lol

He seemed familiar so I googled reverse the image, Fernando Macio, cover of some issue of H magazine, thats where I knew him from!

Here in Rio theres a lot of magazine kiosks everywhere, and it's not uncommon to see this magazine displayed in them, sometimes very large displays, sometimes my prude self feels scandalized, children could see that! Then I remember children here are completely used to see naked and seminaked men and women everywhere

 

[RM8]

I'm living right now in Estado de Mexico though

Same! I'm originally from Mexico City, though.

 

[Mr_Zombie]

He seemed familiar so I googled reverse the image, Fernando Macio, cover of some issue of H magazine, thats where I knew him from!

That's Fernando Amancio. At first I tried to google "Fernando Macio" and the results weren't what I expected.

 

[Henchmen21]

Yup, though I imagine they'll all beat Utah

I can attest to this.

Also, morning Gaygayf

 

[mantidor]

That's Fernando Amancio. At first I tried to google "Fernando Macio" and the results weren't what I expected.

I knew I spelled it wrong, thanks for the correction.

 

[Mr_Zombie]

Since I finally saw those movies, I wanted to go back to Comic Bus' post.

I commented about Plague a while back in the Netflix thread: it's one of the most socially important films in a long time, and should be considered essential viewing for any of us.

I agree about "How to Survive a Plague" being one of the most socially important film. It's amazing what a group of random people with common goal can achieve, how can they impact the whole matter, put pressure on both researchers and politicians. Especially since we are talking about a sexual minority that back then by many was perceived as deviants. It's hard to believe that this all happened mere 20-30 years ago.

I also found the movie interesting because I didn't really know of the events that took place back then. I was a kid during that time (the first year shown in the movie was the year I was born); also, due to political situation and gay community being more underground, AIDS and the fight for a cure wasn't really publicized that much in Poland. So it was unfamiliar with all this.

Leather Bar is supposed to be quite good; have you seen Cruising? While not a great movie, it's still certainly worth seeing and reading up on the controversy surrounding the film. I dig the idea of Franco and Matthews not remaking Cruising, but instead reimagining the footage that was cut (and presumably lost) from the film.

http://vimeo.com/55657401

Leather Bar was interesting because I think that it wasn't really about reimagination of the cut footage (because AFAIK no one really knows what exactly was cut other than that it was considered too hardcore for general public) but rather an attempt to both test what are the boundaries of sex scenes in movies and to recreate the atmosphere from the movie: a straight guy forced to melt into hardcore gay club scene. Val Lauren, a straight actor who was acting as Al Pacino's character, had to spend few hours among a bunch of half (or fully - ass, dicks and balls included) naked gays that were doing what one would expect gay guys were doing in S&M clubs back in 80'. Men participating in this project were ordered to improvise, they only got general directions how they should act; and they weren't really holding back: blowjobs, handjobs, dicks touching, ass grabbing, boot licking, ass paddling - and that was just the stuff that was shown in the movie, no censorship at all. It was fun to see Lauren's and Franco's reactions when they were on set and the whole S&M actions were filmed. From the very beginning you could notice that Lauren was uncomfortable with the whole project and participate only because Franco asked him to. There was also a discussion about what we (as a society) view as normal (how those scenes would be perceived differently if it were between men and women and not just men) and what's the role of sex in non-porn movies.

The movie feels somewhat incomplete and ends too quickly and too abruptly, but I really enjoyed it for what it is.

 

[RatskyWatsky]

That's gonna be interesting, but I'm sure nothing to be too worried about, parents love their kids no matter what, they will understand even if it takes time.

I wish this were true.

 

[Crayons]

I hate to bother you guys with high school relationship stuff,

Spoiler

but I will anyway.

Last summer I told my friend that I was gay. She accepts it and everything and I found out that she has a friend who is also gay. I pondered dating him in my head, but she must have been reading my mind and told me "Don't go out with him. He's a complete asshole". I thought, there's no way he can be that bad. She's just overreacting.

Fast forward to September, he's in one of my classes. I know he's gay and he knows I'm gay (because my friend told him, against my wishes). I start talking with him a bit because I've never had a gay friend before. However, what I find out is completely shocking.
He's basically a neo-nazi, a pedophile, a total creep, and in my opinion, the embodiment of Satan.
I make it clear that I want nothing at all to do with him. I don't feel comfortable around him at all, yet he still follows me around. I tell him to stop it, but he doesn't. He directly sexual innuendo towards me during class and I always make a disapproving face and tell him to stop. The only good thing I learned from this guy was that another guy in my class, is most likely gay. That guy is really cute, shy, and genuinely nice. Definitely boyfriend material. So I think about asking him out, but I'm too scared.
It's okay though, because he approaches me in the hallways. We talk between classes, just small talk, but I think he likes me. I walk him all the way to his class even though it's out of the way.
About two to three weeks ago, in class, creeper stalker guy goes "So...when can I go down on you?" Of course, I'm disgusted. I say "Never!" and I give him a look that shows I'm clearly not interested.
Last week our teacher said we needed to form study groups to study for the AP test. So I think, this is a great opportunity to talk with the other gay guy in my class. Today, while talking with the guy in the hallway, I ask "So, you made a group yet?"
He replies "Yeah"
I say, "With Emily, right?"
He says, "Yeah, and with [creepy stalker]
I am so incredibly shocked. Stalker guy is DEFINITELY trying to start something. He couldn't get my dick, so he's going to try this guy who I genuinely like, not lust for!
I just don't know what to do. I smiled to the guy, and went into my class. I was about to turn into the hulk in my enraged state. I just don't know what to do. I want to beat this guy up.

tl;dr version; Stalker guy stalks me, wants my dick but doesn't get it. Decides to try the same thing on the guy I like.

What do I do?

 

[DR2K]

I hate it bother you guys with high school relationship stuff,

Spoiler

but I will anyway.

Last summer I told my friend that I was gay. She accepts it and everything and I found out that she has a friend who is also gay. I pondered dating him in my head, but she must have been reading my mind and told me "Don't go out with him. He's a complete asshole". I thought, there's no way he can be that bad. She's just overreacting.

Fast forward to September, he's in one of my classes. I know he's gay and he knows I'm gay (because my friend told him, against my wishes). I start talking with him a bit because I've never had a gay friend before. However, what I find out is completely shocking.
He's basically a neo-nazi, a pedophile, a total creep, and in my opinion, the embodiment of Satan.
I make it clear that I want nothing at all to do with him. I don't feel comfortable around him at all, yet he still follows me around. I tell him to stop it, but he doesn't. He directly sexual innuendo towards me during class and I always make a disapproving face and tell him to stop. The only good thing I learned from this guy was that another guy in my class, is most likely gay. That guy is really cute, shy, and genuinely nice. Definitely boyfriend material. So I think about asking him out, but I'm too scared.
It's okay though, because he approaches me in the hallways. We talk between classes, just small talk, but I think he likes me. I walk him all the way to his class even though it's out of the way.
About two to three weeks ago, in class, creeper stalker guy goes "So...when can I go down on you?" Of course, I'm disgusted. I say "Never!" and I give him a look that shows I'm clearly not interested.
Last week our teacher said we needed to form study groups to study for the AP test. So I think, this is a great opportunity to talk with the other gay guy in my class. Today, while talking with the guy in the hallway, I ask "So, you made a group yet?"
He replies "Yeah"
I say, "With Emily, right?"
He says, "Yeah, and with [creepy stalker]
I am so incredibly shocked. Stalker guy is DEFINITELY trying to start something. He couldn't get my dick, so he's going to try this guy who I genuinely like, not lust for!
I just don't know what to do. I smiled to the guy, and went into my class. I was about to turn into the hulk in my enraged state. I just don't know what to do. I want to beat this guy up.

tl;dr version; Stalker guy stalks me, wants my dick but doesn't get it. Decides to try the same thing on the guy I like.

What do I do?

Early bird catches the worm.

But if he's half as bad as you say then not much to worry about.

 

[kitchenmotors]

I miss hs drama.

 

[Delio]

I never had any HS drama ;_;

 

[neojubei]

I never had any HS drama ;_;

Me neither. Usually I just get in fights at school.

 

[Delio]

Me neither. Usually I just get in fights at school.

I never got into fights. I had "Boy who got shot" armor

 

[kitchenmotors]

I never had any HS drama ;_;

I actually never had any while in HS, as all my friends were straight guys that I was out to. It only happened after HS when one of my friends came out, we dated, and drama happened after we broke up.

HS drama from afar tho is great, tbqh. I would sit in the lunch room filling my cup full of tea.

 

[Crayons]

You guys might think it's funny but I can't stand the thought of them being alone together. I wouldn't be surprised if stalker is capable of rape.

 

[kitchenmotors]

You guys might think it's funny but I can't stand the thought of them being alone together. I wouldn't be surprised if stalker is capable of rape.

You can't control who he hangs out with.

You're coming off as the creepy guy by staying stuff like that. Not trying to be a jerk, just laying it creek style. No bs.

 

[Delio]

I actually never had any while in HS, as all my friends were straight guys that I was out to. It only happened after HS when one of my friends came out, we dated, and drama happened after we broke up.

HS drama from afar tho is great, tbqh. I would sit in the lunch room filling my cup full of tea.

Oh yeah. I never had any PERSONAL drama but I knew all the goings on in the school. Lunch room was super fun.

 

[Crayons]

You can't control who he hangs out with.

I know, but he doesn't know who this guy really is. Who he is and who he pretends to be are two completely different people.

 

[Dany]

Ask the cute boy you like to hang out sometime. I mean has he stopped talking to you or whatever?

ALso, how old are y'all 17-18?

 

[RatskyWatsky]

I never got into fights. I had "Boy who got shot" armor

Someone shot you?

 

[Crayons]

Ask the cute boy you like to hang out sometime. I mean has he stopped talking to you or whatever?

ALso, how old are y'all 17-18?

16.

That's what I was trying to do by asking him to be in the same study group. We still talk whenever I see him in the hallways. Once in a while I see him outside the school.

 

[Delio]

Someone shot you?

It's a long story but when I was eight I was caught in a drive by shooting with some family members and friends. I was shot through my hip which really messes with my walking and cardio work lol. I still deal with it now. The kids that were in elementary with me then went through all the same schools with me to high school so they kept people off my back from the shadows while not actually hanging with me.

 

[neojubei]

I never got into fights. I had "Boy who got shot" armor

Didn't work for me as everyone had the boy who got shot armor. Looking back I was a vicious bastard. I used to get in fights a lot

It's a long story but when I was eight I was caught in a drive by shooting with some family members and friends. I was shot through my hip which really messes with my walking and cardio work lol. I still deal with it now. The kids that were in elementary with me then went through all the same schools with me to high school so they kept people off my back from the shadows while not actually hanging with me.

Wow that's insane.

 

[Dany]

16.

That's what I was trying to do by asking him to be in the same study group. We still talk whenever I see him in the hallways. Once in a while I see him outside the school.

Ask him to go to the roller rink. That always works. And don't feel jelly If he is as bad as you say hopefuly the cute boy will get his head screwed on straight.

 

[RatskyWatsky]

It's a long story but when I was eight I was caught in a drive by shooting with some family members and friends. I was shot through my hip which really messes with my walking and cardio work lol. I still deal with it now. The kids that were in elementary with me then went through all the same schools with me to high school so they kept people off my back from the shadows while not actually hanging with me.

Holy shit! That's crazy. Is the bullet still lodged inside you?

 

[Crayons]

Ask him to go to the roller rink. That always works. And don't feel jelly If he is as bad as you say hopefuly the cute boy will get his head screwed on straight.

Roller rink?
I hope so, but I think the creepy guy realized his mistakes from being honest with me about his political views and general assholiness, because whenever someone gets to know him, they don't want to anymore.

 

[Dany]

Roller rink?
I hope so, but I think the creepy guy realized his mistakes from being honest with me about his political views and general assholiness, because whenever someone gets to know him, they don't want to anymore.

T'was a joke lol.

 

[Delio]

Holy shit! That's crazy. Is the bullet still lodged inside you?

Nah it's gone. It blew out my hip as it went out lol. I just deal with a piece of hip now.

 

[kitchenmotors]

Roller rink?
I hope so, but I think the creepy guy realized his mistakes from being honest with me about his political views and general assholiness, because whenever someone gets to know him, they don't want to anymore.

Is his name Jamie? That description reminds me of someone. lmao

 

[lordfroakie]

Is his name Jamie? That description reminds me of someone. lmao

 

[Mystic Theurge]

You guys might think it's funny but I can't stand the thought of them being alone together. I wouldn't be surprised if stalker is capable of rape.

If you're that concerned, talk to the guy you like about the creepy guy.

Is his name Jamie? That description reminds me of someone. lmao

 

[Crayons]

Is his name Jamie? That description reminds me of someone. lmao

I don't get the reference.

If you're that concerned, talk to the guy you like about the creepy guy.

Will do.

 

[BeesEight]

Holy shit! That's crazy. Is the bullet still lodged inside you?

What Del didn't mention is that he's a secret Bond villain plotting the take over of the world. If you never hear from me again you know what happened...

Edit: Damnit, I wanted to make the Jamie joke!

 

[Delio]

What Del didn't mention is that he's a secret Bond villain plotting the take over of the world. If you never hear from me again you know what happened...

Edit: Damnit, I wanted to make the Jamie joke!

Hello bees...*rubs a Corgi*

 

[MyAbsolution]

You guys might think it's funny but I can't stand the thought of them being alone together. I wouldn't be surprised if stalker is capable of rape.

You need to go after the nice guy quick. Before he is tainted.

 

[KmA]

I'm so glad this thread turned so high school. It makes lurking so much more fun.

Spoiler

That didn't come out right

 

[CDX]

I never had any HS drama ;_;

I never had any HS drama either.

where the heck were all the other gays when I was in highschool?

 

[MyAbsolution]

I don't get the reference.

Its a GayGaf Skype chat group inside joke. Jamie is our resident racist/Nazi/Aryan loving gay guy from Ireland.

 

[Crayons]

Its a GayGaf Skype chat group inside joke. Jamie is our resident racist/Nazi/Aryan loving gay guy from Ireland.

Ah, I figured it would be something like that. I took a 6 month leave on Gaf so I could do good in school, haven't been up to speed with anything.

I never had any HS drama either.

where the heck were all the other gays when I was in highschool?

Probably in the closet. Nobody at school knows I'm gay except for 3 people.