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LGBThread |OT4| We're (still) Here! We're (still) Queer!

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Deleted member 30609

Unconfirmed Member
I understand the health risks, but unless you are a long term user, the risks are minimal. Many guys at gym use them, I have two friends who currently cycle and they don't seem to behave any differebt other than an obsession with their body (which I already posess). Infact many Celebraties (like Ben Affleck mentioned earlier, or Hugh Jackman) use performance enhancing drugs to bulk up. Many gay porn stars (which we ourselves in idolize) use them. Theres a body image that gay mean idolize and hold up as the standard ( muscled physique, hairy chest, broad shoulders, bearded) and sadly I can't get there naturally. A lot of guys have cycled at least once if not twice to get that boost.

That being said, I know my problems lie deeper. But maybe then I won't be told so often that I'm not muscular, big or good enough by others. Ugh. I dunno.

The absurdity of this post triggered a bizarre out of body experience that led to a near instantaneous reappraisal of my self, both physically and mentally.

In short, I realised that this is what people with this insecurity actually believe.

I feel a lot better. Thank you.

EDIT: This could be read cynically or condescendingly. It wasn't written that way.
 

Vazduh

Member
I want to thank all of you guys for answering my question, you're all sweethearts :*** And SpaceBridge, I agree with what Rm88~ and hateradio said. Please seek help, it's never too late.

Super insecure.

Haly, I wanted to ask you, can you handle your insecurities well? Is it something you can manage or is it something that's more on the overwhelming side?

Confident in an unwarranted fashion.

yNj9Nlm.jpg

Physically insecure but socially confident. I have lots of body image issues, but I know that even if I see myself ugly I don't have problem getting someone to like me.

So it seems you manage your insecurities well. I remember you from one of your photos, you look great.

I'm surprisingly confident given my meh status physically and overall personality.

That does not mean I'm super confident, and I've always been an introvert, but I try my best to gather courage and talk to people, even with people out of my league.

I'll need receipts for the first sentence because I don't believe you :D You have a good attitude since you're fighting against your introversion, I admire that. That's a quality I'd like to possess.

I'm fairly good at approaching people / socializing, but it'd be an understatement to say I'm insecure while dating :x

I guess that's normal, especially during the first few dates, when you're trying to impress that person. Did I get that right?

I am fairly insecure, but in public I try to put that away as much as possible, to lower my anxieties.

I'm an odd case, because I think I have some schizoid-like behaviors. I think people think I'm just shy, but really I have no will to talk with others.

hateradio, do you mind if I ask you for your strategies, that is, how do you manage to hide your insecurities?

What I try to remind myself of is that this sociological "game" really does become defunct when you just try to be as much of the real you as possible to people. When you're being yourself and you're wearing it confidently (by not thinking about your self-esteem), you may not realize that you're shifting the sociology in your favor. If I'm being completely myself at a social gathering (i.e. making fisting jokes way too often, just being a goofy ass mess), whatever thoughts or judgments people might have about me seem to become irrelevant, because if I'm not humoring those thoughts or judgements, then I'm not affected. And if I'm not affected, then my self-esteem stays healthy. I've realized that if I use my insecurities to make myself a little different from how I really am, then all those people I'm trying to impress are eventually going to see me snort when I laugh, or hunch over, and the facade eventually won't be worth it. Take a look at me as I am in reality; if you like it, then great. If you don't and I really do need more positive reinforcement from everyone else, then I'll look at how I'm coming off and what I can change about myself in a constructive way (like being nicer, more open, etc.).

Soulscribe, thank you for sharing your story, it made me smile. And I can only imagine people liking what they saw <3 :D It seems that you have a great attitude about everything, and I like that about you.
 
The absurdity of this post triggered a bizarre out of body experience that led to a near instantaneous reappraisal of my self, both physically and mentally.

In short, I realised that this is what people with this insecurity actually believe.

I feel a lot better. Thank you.

Glad I helped.

Only trying to share here dude, thanks for dismissing it.
 
D

Deleted member 30609

Unconfirmed Member
Glad I helped.

Only trying to share here dude, thanks for dismissing it.
I wasn't trying to pick on you. You actually made me feel a lot better, and I'm thankful for that.

Re actual advice: you'd mentally preempt any advice I'm likely to give. This means --- I think --- that I'm not likely to trigger some sort of epiphany on your end, which seems to be what you need right now. That's the nature of epiphanies, I guess. They kind of need to come out of left-field, like your post's impact on my life a few minutes ago.
 
All this leads me to my question for all you guys and gals here, I hope you don't mind me asking. How confident or insecure are you? It would probably be very wrong of me if I'd say it for all the guys here, but most of the gay guys I've interacted with were insecure about themselves, some more, some less. I also have my self-esteem issues, although it depends on the situation.

As far as my looks go, I'm not insecure, but I'm not delusionally confident either. I mean, I recognize that I don't have the hottest face in the world, and that I'm skinny fat, but I don't really care.

There are people out there who find me attractive, and I frequently wink at myself in the mirror, so....
 
Theres a body image that gay mean idolize and hold up as the standard ( muscled physique, hairy chest, broad shoulders, bearded)
Yikes. That's just not true. Of course there's going to be some who view that as their preference, but not everyone is like that. That you think so makes you sound extremely conditioned. Maybe you should take a break from all these apps for sex or whatever it is that's drilling into your brain that that's what all gay men want. Maybe it's all the ones who've rejected you (and that's unfortunate), but that's such a small selection pool in toxic places where physical traits trump all.

Take a break. Go out more. Something. Just take a break from these damn apps. Motivate yourself for yourself only, not so you can impress someone.
 

scarlet

Member
All this leads me to my question for all you guys and gals here, I hope you don't mind me asking. How confident or insecure are you?

I was so insecure about my body until I went to an onsen in Japan. I'm fine now.

yes, got naked in front of 100 people make feel secure
 

Natetan

Member
Yikes. That's just not true. Of course there's going to be some who view that as their preference, but not everyone is like that. That you think so makes you sound extremely conditioned. Maybe you should take a break from all these apps for sex or whatever it is that's drilling into your brain that that's what all gay men want. Maybe it's all the ones who've rejected you (and that's unfortunate), but that's such a small selection pool in toxic places where physical traits trump all.

Take a break. Go out more. Something. Just take a break from these damn apps. Motivate yourself for yourself only, not so you can impress someone.


That's some good advice actually. I also know I'm pretty attractive and a good catch but those apps erase any of that balance make you feel bad for not being top tier physically attractive. Even worse you become excessively picky too and only want to interact with the most attractive people. I've got both my non sexual and sexual interests written in my profile in that order and I actually deleted the sexual interests because that's all people focus on, even having deleted them no one ever asks me about my non sexual interests let alone have them in common, so it whittles done to just physical stuff. I've met some pretty hot guys but I'm tired of one off hook ups right now. I'd at least like to be friends or something, with or without benefits I don't really care. Just would be nice to connect with people beyond a physical level.
 
Do jockstraps even have a use except as fetish gear? Pretty sure regular underwear (boxers, briefs, boxer-briefs) do anything a jockstrap could do.
 

RatskyWatsky

Hunky Nostradamus
Do jockstraps even have a use except as fetish gear? Pretty sure regular underwear (boxers, briefs, boxer-briefs) do anything a jockstrap could do.

They're supposed to provide more support (somehow, idk) than regular underwear. I mean, boxers can't and don't provide the same level of support as, say, briefs, which is why a lot of guys like them.

I think it goes like:

Commando -> boxers -> boxer briefs -> trunks -> briefs -> jockstrap
 
They're supposed to provide more support (somehow, idk) than regular underwear. I mean, boxers can't and don't provide the same level of support as, say, briefs, which is why a lot of guys like them.

I think it goes like:

Commando -> boxers -> boxer briefs -> trunks -> briefs -> jockstrap

Honesty I don't think boxer briefs and briefs have any difference in level of support.
 
Not RPG, but you need to buy Mario Golf and join the Nintendo Fun Club today!

Unless you're afraid of my mighty Toadette and her mad golfing skills, that is :p

I wouldn't ever use Toadette for anything other than Sky Island. She even has serious trouble trying to get birdies on some of the DLC courses.

I switch between a bunch of characters: Luigi, Yoshi, Mii, Wario, Waluigi... I find balanced characters to be the most effective overall.
 
It must be tough space. You look great as is. But body images is such an interesting thing. Its important to tell people they are worth so much and look good, and genuinely mean it and i mean it when i tell you or anyone how they are, its something that no matter no matter how many compliments one may get, the most important part is trying to find the strength and self appreciation within. Whether its certain features of the body or the body as a whole.

There are people who want to loose weight or who wants to gain weight, I've heard both sides of the story and its not always right to tell people how lucky or good they look cause deep inside there is so much more personal complexity as well as pressures to change how we are which results to insecurities and self hate where love should be and its a constant work out, more rigorous of a work out than going to the gym could ever do.

We have to recognize that as long as someone isn't personally damaging themselves or other people to get to where they are they need to do their best in their own personal interest to change out of self love, and surround ourselves with the right people that will help pave that path.

I hope this helps space, and to anyone even myself. We all deal with insecurities. We have to find the love within ourselves, not even to love anyone else as the saying goes, but for our own sanity and personal gratification.

Thats why i love gaf and this subsection of gaf. We're always looking to help each other out. Lets keep on doing just that.
 

bsej87

Member
I wouldn't ever use Toadette for anything other than Sky Island. She even has serious trouble trying to get birdies on some of the DLC courses.

I switch between a bunch of characters: Luigi, Yoshi, Mii, Wario, Waluigi... I find balanced characters to be the most effective overall.

I wouldn't talk badly of Toadette in front of Rm...
 

royalan

Member
Do jockstraps even have a use except as fetish gear? Pretty sure regular underwear (boxers, briefs, boxer-briefs) do anything a jockstrap could do.

I never understood why someone would want to wear a jockstrap as normal underwear. Jockstraps are incredibly uncomfortable, and they're supposed to be. They've got a job to do, and the alternative to wearing one (getting your nuts kicked in during sport) ain't pretty.
 

mantidor

Member
I'll need receipts for the first sentence because I don't believe you :D You have a good attitude since you're fighting against your introversion, I admire that. That's a quality I'd like to possess.

Oh real pic january is the only opportunity you people had! I guess I'm not that confident after all hehe.

Ok, it took me a while to find a recent pic of me on facebook without holding a drink D: (yes I have a problem), and excessive lighting to hide my face, but this picture will do, it isn't exactly the most flattering, which is kind of the purpose here. Sorry to disappoint! :p

It's kind of creepy the amount of pics my friends upload with me in it... well, who cares at this point.
 

Caladrius

Member
My backlog is slowly withering away. I'm almost done with the Ratchet and Clank series (Just started A Crack in Time)

After that I have:

Meta Gear Solid 2 & 3
TLoZ A Link Between Worlds
Devil Survivor Overclocked
SMT: Nocturne
Digital Devil Saga.

Saving the bottom two for last since they're the longest.

Then I can start my replay of Metroid Prime 1 and 2, and then finish my replay of Pogeyman X

Gross. They shrink your ballz too.

I think that's Creatine.

Of course I'm not a physician so I barely know shit.
 

Dead Man

Member
Oh real pic january is the only opportunity you people had! I guess I'm not that confident after all hehe.

Ok, it took me a while to find a recent pic of me on facebook without holding a drink D: (yes I have a problem), and excessive lighting to hide my face, but this picture will do, it isn't exactly the most flattering, which is kind of the purpose here. Sorry to disappoint! :p

It's kind of creepy the amount of pics my friends upload with me in it... well, who cares at this point.

Dude you look fine.

The only suggestion I would make is different glasses frames maybe. The aspect ratio (don't know the actual term, sorry) of those is a bit wrong for your face I think. I think you may have a face like mine which is very particular about glasses. I have to pick glasses that are big enough so they don't make my eyes look like little piggy things. Maybe try some frames with taller lenses and narrower arms?

Yeah, it's nitpicky stuff, but I am pretty anal about glasses :) Been wearing them for almost 30 years and only ever had about 2 frames I thought suited me.

/unwanted fashion advice from a terrible dresser.

But dude you look fine :)
 

Rayis

Member
Confidence is something that is just not found within me, mostly because I feel what I don't like about myself are things that are out of my control and I need to accept them, but I tend to ignore that aspect of myself, that's why you will never see a pic of me.
 

mantidor

Member
Dude you look fine.

The only suggestion I would make is different glasses frames maybe. The aspect ratio (don't know the actual term, sorry) of those is a bit wrong for your face I think. I think you may have a face like mine which is very particular about glasses. I have to pick glasses that are big enough so they don't make my eyes look like little piggy things. Maybe try some frames with taller lenses and narrower arms?

Yeah, it's nitpicky stuff, but I am pretty anal about glasses :) Been wearing them for almost 30 years and only ever had about 2 frames I thought suited me.

/unwanted fashion advice from a terrible dresser.

But dude you look fine :)

I don't dress that well either!

Thanks for the advice, I know I'm not terribly ugly, but I'm also no model, and I'm ok with that. Maybe one day I'll work out heh. Actually I should, I do zero physical activity D: that cannot be good.

I do really like these frames though, maybe it's the perspective there because the glasses are not that small.

Talking about confidence since Vazduh brought the topic, I do have two cheats for "boosting" it, the first one is drinking (not advisable at all), the second one is pretty interesting: I'm a foreigner where I live. It's quite ironic, after having one too many embarrassing moments I should be terrified, but these are situations where you really couldn't help it, be it cultural shock or language things, so you just learn to let it go and don't be so self-conscious, and people mostly give you an easier time too.

There's one thing that happens to us shy, introvert people and that is that when we face a bad situation that makes us anxious or self-conscious we tend to run away to our safe spot, be our room, a friend, parents, anything. But when you are in another country, alone, you can't run away, there's nothing you can do but face your fear, face people, it's amazing how liberating it is. I really recommend it to anyone, even if it's living abroad for just a year.

Or maybe all those years of therapy previous my moving out did help a lot... who knows :p
 
I think I'm really insecure, but it's mostly due to previous experiences with guys, thinking they're gonna like someone else more than me of something like that.

I'm in this "long distance relationship" now and it's really hard sometimes. I got upset not too long ago because he was talking about how cute/sexy Justin and Phillips Phillips are while we were watching the Billboard awards. I know it's stupid because they're unreachable but it still hurts my ego even though I obviously still find hot guys hot :p

But he had said some other guy on instagram was cute (he was showing me a meet and greet pic with Britney, can't remember what I said, something about it being terrible or about the guy).

Also he has a tumblr where he mostly reblogs hot guys pictures and I must confess it's a weird feeling too. Because, while I know I'm "good looking" I'm not nearly as hot as any of those guys. At the same time I guess I feel flattered too because he "chose" me.

The fact that we're in different countries makes it worse because it just makes me feel like he's gonna find someone else who he finds hot and sexy in real life.
 
Hey gays, I saw a post about this site called Daggr on tumblr and their about us page says:

Gamers like you.

DAGGR is a community for LGBT gamers and their friends.
Meet and make allies with like-minded players.
It's time to come out.

I think that's pretty cool but it's really new I think, it only has like 574 people signed up
 

Dead Man

Member
I don't dress that well either!

Thanks for the advice, I know I'm not terribly ugly, but I'm also no model, and I'm ok with that. Maybe one day I'll work out heh. Actually I should, I do zero physical activity D: that cannot be good.

I do really like these frames though, maybe it's the perspective there because the glasses are not that small.

Talking about confidence since Vazduh brought the topic, I do have two cheats for "boosting" it, the first one is drinking (not advisable at all), the second one is pretty interesting: I'm a foreigner where I live. It's quite ironic, after having one too many embarrassing moments I should be terrified, but these are situations where you really couldn't help it, be it cultural shock or language things, so you just learn to let it go and don't be so self-conscious, and people mostly give you an easier time too.

There's one thing that happens to us shy, introvert people and that is that when we face a bad situation that makes us anxious or self-conscious we tend to run away to our safe spot, be our room, a friend, parents, anything. But when you are in another country, alone, you can't run away, there's nothing you can do but face your fear, face people, it's amazing how liberating it is. I really recommend it to anyone, even if it's living abroad for just a year.

Or maybe all those years of therapy previous my moving out did help a lot... who knows :p

Yeah, it could quite easily just be perspective in the picture, and the main thing with anything you wear is that you like it, doesn't really matter what some random bloke on the internet thinks :)

And yeah, I found living in a country where I knew nobody and the customs were a bit different quite good for my confidence.

Hey gays, I saw a post about this site called Daggr on tumblr and their about us page says:

Gamers like you.

DAGGR is a community for LGBT gamers and their friends.
Meet and make allies with like-minded players.
It's time to come out.

I think that's pretty cool but it's really new I think, it only has like 574 people signed up

Doesn't help when people break the link in their post ;) Looks interesting though. But why do so many sites drop the final vowel in words these days?
 

Sai-kun

Banned
Hey gays, I saw a post about this site called Daggr on tumblr and their about us page says:

Gamers like you.

DAGGR is a community for LGBT gamers and their friends.
Meet and make allies with like-minded players.
It's time to come out.

I think that's pretty cool but it's really new I think, it only has like 574 people signed up

If any of you nerds sign up, add me~ ;)

It's a pretty neat looking website, though I'm not sure how much mileage I'll get out of it.
 
The name 'daggr' is off-putting. It doesn't sound like a videogame thing. It sounds like one of those apps for facilitating doing things. Stabbing imagery.
 

Vazra

irresponsible vagina leak
The name 'daggr' is off-putting. It doesn't sound like a videogame thing. It sounds like one of those apps for facilitating doing things. Stabbing imagery.

Well I bet some will be stabbing with the meat dagger if they meet in person.
 
Yeah, it could quite easily just be perspective in the picture, and the main thing with anything you wear is that you like it, doesn't really matter what some random bloke on the internet thinks :)

And yeah, I found living in a country where I knew nobody and the customs were a bit different quite good for my confidence.



Doesn't help when people break the link in their post ;) Looks interesting though. But why do so many sites drop the final vowel in words these days?

oh my god lol sorry
https://daggr.net/
 

RM8

Member
I had to leave because my PS3 is being stupid and I'm attempting CPR on it :( My N64 and SNES stare disapprovingly at my PS3 and its silly hard drive issues. BTW Pink Gold Peach sucks :p She doesn't even exist in any game!

Guise, what could it be? My PS3 freezes constantly during gameplay :( As if there was heavy lag. It's been really slow for a while too... Man, I swear as much as I love PS systems, I haven't owned one that doesn't act stupid at some point :mad:
 

daripad

Member
I had to leave because my PS3 is being stupid and I'm attempting CPR on it :( My N64 and SNES stare disapprovingly at my PS3 and its silly hard drive issues. BTW Pink Gold Peach sucks :p She doesn't even exist in any game!

Guise, what could it be? My PS3 freezes constantly during gameplay :( As if there was heavy lag. It's been really slow for a while too... Man, I swear as much as I love PS systems, I haven't owned one that doesn't act stupid at some point :mad:
Is it a fat model? Because those surely fail at some point.
Hey, PGP is the best character to troll people, when thy see her winning they can't resist throwing all the shells they have saved. For example you kept throwing red shells at me, thank you.

And don't worry, we left the room soon after you left, not that you were worrying though :p


You thought we'd be *sunglasses* in the rear?

Well, compared to me you were most of the time heh. I love staying at the top
top lol
. Seriously, I thought we were good but not that good. We barely had competence, it was all between us three.
 

RM8

Member
Is it a fat model? Because those surely fail at some point.
Hey, PGP is the best character to troll people, when thy see her winning they can't resist throwing all the shells they have saved. For example you kept throwing red shells at me, thank you.

And don't worry, we left the room soon after you left, not that you were worrying though :p
It's a Slim. Most likely HDD issues. And lol at Toadette spanking Glorified Texture Swap Peach with red shells :3
 
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