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LGBThread |OT4| We're (still) Here! We're (still) Queer!

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N

Necromanti

Member
Prez said:
How come?

It seems to me that a lot of gay guys have absurdly high expectations, not just when it comes to personality but looks as well. But maybe I'm just going to the wrong places and I don't make a great first impression either.
Click to expand...
(I wasn't asked, but...)
Personally, I feel like my expectations are higher on online dating sites for some reason, but...not really. I just seem to not find a lot of people that I find attractive on there (like OkCupid), or at least not the guys I get matched with.

I tried to force myself to go on a date with a person who contacted me because I found him slightly more attractive, comparatively, but I just couldn't lie to myself and continue doing it when I realized I felt no attraction for him. In person, however, I probably find every 1 in 3 men attractive. I really don't think that my standards are that high, especially not when compared to other people. I realistically look for very little and try to be open-minded.

Maybe online dating is not for me, but that seems to be my only option.
 
C

Caladrius

Member
umop_3pisdn said:
I bet they went on lots of safaris and shot a lot of lions, too.
Click to expand...

I mean considering how difficult it was to acquire precious metals compared to today. > __ >

Henchmen21 said:
So his dick should enter the room 5 minutes before he does?
Click to expand...

People also rarely have sex inside their houses where I live.This dude accidentally rammed straight through my window with his.

Garcia said:
So very Louis XIV. I imagine that guy playing with solid gold Legos were they actually around when he was alive. Crazy stuff.
Click to expand...

"Could you give me...ehh.. 3 days before you behead me? I need to finish zis 1:3 scale replica of my palace."
 
U

umop_3pisdn

Member
Caladrius said:
I mean considering how difficult it was to acquire precious metals compared to today. > __ >
Click to expand...

There were probably fewer uses for it I guess.

I was just kidding, whenever I think of old timey rich British people I think of dudes with blond moustaches going on safari for some reason.
 
T

Ties

Banned
hi none of you know me but:

gyals, im currently approaching my senior year in high school and am about to just to give the fuck up with relationships because nothing meaningful has arose with my past ones. my exes largely viewed me as more of a "toy" than as an individual so like yeah, and i dont really share interests with anyone available. online relationships are sort of trash as well because im sort of haggard and the age difference is a mess.

does dating become easier as time goes on or does it remain a struggle
 
Garcia

Garcia

Member
umop_3pisdn said:
Yes. And a pipe probably isn't too far away.



Monocles aren't sexy. I find safari gear sexy for some baffling reason, tho.
Click to expand...

That's interesting... I never thought of safari gears as sexy. Could be some kind of ancient british fetish? If that's the case then chances are vintage porn might have men in safari gears as well.
 
D

daripad

Member
umop_3pisdn said:
Honestly, I'm not very affectionate either, unless I'm intimate with someone. Some aspects of my personality are pretty oldfashioned, not due to philosophy or anything, there are just sides to me that I don't want everyone to have access to. And honestly I do think a lot of people that are quite affectionate can sometimes seem insincere, or to be crossing the lines of appropriate manners. It's tiresome though when people seem to compulsively avoid normal human modes of interaction because they're afraid of seeming queer.
Click to expand...

There is something else in my case: I'm very expressive. Everyone easily reads my facial expressions and will know how I feel about them. People I like will know that I smile at them and try to show my happinness when I see them. It is more effective at communicating my feelings than through words or actions.

Art said:
I know there are people who are like that with everyone, and that's fine. I was just talking about guys who avoid touching other guys to not look gay/less manly.
Click to expand...

I thought it was for me, sorry for misinterpreting, I'm dumb :/

Bladenic said:
Awww :(

I'm super affectionate with someone I like. Like always hugging, kissing, cuddling, paying compliments, etc.
Click to expand...

That doesn't mean I'm cold hearted. Sometimes I rub people's arms or something like that but I rarely do it and only with very special people.
 
Y

Yado

Member
Ties said:
hi none of you know me but:

gyals, im currently approaching my senior year in high school and am about to just to give the fuck up with relationships because nothing meaningful has arose with my past ones. my exes largely viewed me as more of a "toy" than as an individual so like yeah, and i dont really share interests with anyone available. online relationships are sort of trash as well because im sort of haggard and the age difference is a mess.

does dating become easier as time goes on or does it remain a struggle
Click to expand...


Not to downplay your relationships but high school experiences are kind of minor when compared to what you're going to get into as you get older. It does become easier but I suppose several factors come into play like your location, appearance, knowing what you want etc.

Basically you're way to young to be giving up, enjoy your experiences and work on yourself. The men will come.
 
Garcia

Garcia

Member
Ties said:
hi none of you know me but:

gyals, im currently approaching my senior year in high school and am about to just to give the fuck up with relationships because nothing meaningful has arose with my past ones. my exes largely viewed me as more of a "toy" than as an individual so like yeah, and i dont really share interests with anyone available. online relationships are sort of trash as well because im sort of haggard and the age difference is a mess.

does dating become easier as time goes on or does it remain a struggle
Click to expand...

There's a growing pandemic of narcissist gay men who only see other men a nothing less than an object, so please, be very careful out there. As a rule of thumb stay the hell away from people who keep in touch with their most recent exes. Chances are extremely high they might be narcissists looking to increase their supply.

It only gets better if you set healthy boundaries with the people who surround you and with any potential partner. Good luck!
 
7

7echnicolor

Member
Ties said:
hi none of you know me but:

gyals, im currently approaching my senior year in high school and am about to just to give the fuck up with relationships because nothing meaningful has arose with my past ones. my exes largely viewed me as more of a "toy" than as an individual so like yeah, and i dont really share interests with anyone available. online relationships are sort of trash as well because im sort of haggard and the age difference is a mess.

does dating become easier as time goes on or does it remain a struggle
Click to expand...

It'll get better.

#itgetsbetter
 
P

Prez

Member
Necromanti said:
(I wasn't asked, but...)
Personally, I feel like my expectations are higher on online dating sites for some reason, but...not really. I just seem to not find a lot of people that I find attractive on there (like OkCupid), or at least not the guys I get matched with.

I tried to force myself to go on a date with a person who contacted me because I found him slightly more attractive, comparatively, but I just couldn't lie to myself and continue doing it when I realized I felt no attraction for him. In person, however, I probably find every 1 in 3 men attractive. I really don't think that my standards are that high, especially not when compared to other people. I realistically look for very little and try to be open-minded.

Maybe online dating is not for me, but that seems to be my only option.
Click to expand...

Do you think that you'd be attracted to some of the people you don't find attractive on dating sites if you saw them in real life?

There have been a few occasions that I saw people in real life who I recognised from dating sites and who were interested in me before even talking to me while online they completely ignored me. My photos are very representative of what I look like so I never really understood why that happens.
 
S

Scher

Member
Hate to interrupt all the discussions going on right now, but I've been wanting to take the time to more properly introduce myself, and it's kind of difficult to find a good place to really interject. Oh well. I've generally been lurking this thread and have posted, like, 3 times in here. However, in honor of it being LGBT Pride month and all (even if it's already half way over), I figured I should make the attempt to start being more involved with this kind of stuff!

So yeah, howdy y'all! I'm bisexual and live deep in the heart of Texas. Unfortunately, I never really did come to terms with my sexuality until about a couple of years ago. Being in such a generally religious area, it was certainly a very difficult thing for me to accept. In recent years, though, there's just been a lot of stuff that's happened that had really gotten me to reassess myself. My time as an undergraduate had certainly been eventful with Prop 8 and, umm, cute guys and stuff getting me to reevaluate a lot of things!

Anyways, hopefully I can have fun being a part of the community around here!
 
Garcia

Garcia

Member
Scher said:
Hate to interrupt all the discussions going on right now, but I've been wanting to take the time to more properly introduce myself, and it's kind of difficult to find a good place to really interject. Oh well. I've generally been lurking this thread and have posted, like, 3 times in here. However, in honor of it being LGBT Pride month and all (even if it's already half way over), I figured I should make the attempt to start being more involved with this kind of stuff!

So yeah, howdy y'all! I'm bisexual and live deep in the heart of Texas. Unfortunately, I never really did come to terms with my sexuality until about a couple of years ago. Being in such a generally religious area, it was certainly a very difficult thing for me to accept. In recent years, though, there's just been a lot of stuff that's happened that had really gotten me to reassess myself. My time as an undergraduate had certainly been eventful with Prop 8 and, umm, cute guys and stuff getting me to reevaluate a lot of things!

Anyways, hopefully I can have fun being a part of the community around here!
Click to expand...

Welcome aboard, Scher ( ;P ). Hope you have a good time around here. Are you usually more fond on women than men, or viceversa?

Have you ever had a bf? Looking for one?
 
T

Ties

Banned
Yado said:
Not to downplay your relationships but high school experiences are kind of minor when compared to what you're going to get into as you get older. It does become easier but I suppose several factors come into play like your location, appearance, knowing what you want etc.

Basically you're way to young to be giving up, enjoy your experiences and work on yourself. The men will come.
Click to expand...
Yeah I've heard that sentiment that I'm "too young" and that the experiences I have involved myself in are "minor" compared to everything else that will follow. However, I have always found it particularly difficult to be in a relationship in general. I don't know if I'm too selfish or whatever but I'm not affectionate with my partner, nor do I ever go out of my way to talk them whenever we don't see each other in person. It's an issue with me (I've battled severe depression for a majority of my life and my self-esteem suffers because of it) in particular I suppose. The solution is clear, and has been for quite some time: Start loving yourself. I've tried countless times to raise my self-esteem but nothing seems to work and it's just... ugh. I've been told that I'm attractive but I just don't "see" it, and although I know I have accomplished a great deal for someone in my age group I always feel inferior to others. But yeah it's good to know that relationships improve, hopefully one day I can disclose these inner turmoils with my partner without feeling judged or whatever.

This doesn't fit in the context of the thread because it's more depression OT centric, but srry this post sort of happened.
 
Y

Yado

Member
Ties said:
Yeah I've heard that sentiment that I'm "too young" and that the experiences I have involved myself in are "minor" compared to everything else that will follow. However, I have always found it particularly difficult to be in a relationship in general. I don't know if I'm too selfish or whatever but I'm not affectionate with my partner, nor do I ever go out of my way to talk them whenever we don't see each other in person. It's an issue with me (I've battled severe depression for a majority of my life and my self-esteem suffers because of it) in particular I suppose. The solution is clear, and has been for quite some time: Start loving yourself. I've tried countless times to raise my self-esteem but nothing seems to work and it's just... ugh. I've been told that I'm attractive but I just don't "see" it, and although I know I have accomplished a great deal for someone in my age group I always feel inferior to others. But yeah it's good to know that relationships improve, hopefully one day I can disclose these inner turmoils with my partner without feeling judged or whatever.

This doesn't fit in the context of the thread because it's more depression OT centric, but srry this post sort of happened.
Click to expand...

I'm like that as well, in terms of not being an overly affectionate person. I don't really see it as a problem though (maybe it is)

I think you have the right idea, keep working on your self esteem. In situations like this it's far better to focus on yourself, your relationships will probably improve as a result of it.
 
N

Natetan

Member
umop_3pisdn said:
Honestly, I'm not very affectionate either, unless I'm intimate with someone. Some aspects of my personality are pretty oldfashioned, not due to philosophy or anything, there are just sides to me that I don't want everyone to have access to. And honestly I do think a lot of people that are quite affectionate can sometimes seem insincere, or to be crossing the lines of appropriate manners. It's tiresome though when people seem to compulsively avoid normal human modes of interaction because they're afraid of seeming queer.
Click to expand...

I'm not very affectionate or into PDA. One of my straight friends does it with his girlfriend but it's ok for some reason with them. I just get awkward with public affection. There's one picture with me and friends 4year old daughter. We're holding hands but there's a huge distance mostly because of me because in my head I was like 'ok you don't want your friend to think you're a perv'. I know it's ridiculous but it just shows how awkward I am with public affection.

Even when I hugged the French guy goodbye at the end of the weekend, I of course want to hug him and also grab his ass and kiss him on the mouth etc. So controlling The Thirst is a but easier with just a wave or handshake good bye. But in the end we did hug. He smells so nice :) ....
 
T

Ties

Banned
Yado said:
I'm like that as well, in terms of not being an overly affectionate person. I don't really see it as a problem though (maybe it is)

I think you have the right idea, keep working on your self esteem. In situations like this it's far better to focus on yourself, your relationships will probably improve as a result of it.
Click to expand...
Do you know of a specialist I can approach to further my self-betterment? My parents have always been nay-sayers about discussing problems with other people so I've never furthered my research on it
Souldriver said:
No i wasnt being a dick or anything. <3
Click to expand...
Dahling, if you feel as if I am going into this thread to simply attention-whore then you are mistaken. I've always been a lurker around these parts, and I didn't feel it necessary to make a more "proper" introduction because I post here infrequently. If anything, I would like to be more active in this thread, simply because I feel like I have reached the age in which I can communicate more eloquently on a discussion board compared to when I first joined. Sorry if my posts have that vibe, wasn't my intention.
 
U

umop_3pisdn

Member
Henchmen21 said:
And they always have a double barreled shotgun unlocked slung over their arm.
Click to expand...

Ew, guns! (but pipe tobacco is okay for some reason? It doesn't really make any sense).

Garcia said:
That's interesting... I never thought of safari gears as sexy. Could be some kind of ancient british fetish? If that's the case then chances are vintage porn might have men in safari gears as well.
Click to expand...

Yeah, I like dandies and vintage porn, idky.

daripad said:
There is something else in my case: I'm very expressive. Everyone easily reads my facial expressions and will know how I feel about them. People I like will know that I smile at them and try to show my happinness when I see them. It is more effective at communicating my feelings than through words or actions.
Click to expand...

I'm good at expressing myself that way too, but usually I'd relate it to congeniality or friendliness. Like it's kind of cool or restrained. Being a good or non-judgemental listener, and knowing the right emotional tone to affect to be charming, appropriate, diplomatic, or genuine/sincere, has a lot of people thinking I'm warmer than I probably am in actuality, without really extending myself very far, or being actually vulnerable. I'm good at expressing feeling within a conventional system that I or other people can understand, but I've met a lot of people that are poorer at this sort of thing that genuinely seem to care for people more than I do.
 
Y

Yado

Member
Ties said:
Do you know of a specialist I can approach to further my self-betterment? My parents have always been nay-sayers about discussing problems with other people so I've never furthered my research on it
Click to expand...

No, sorry. I'm pretty sure we live in different countries. You should definitely look into it though, especially since you're finishing up high school and gaining a little more independence from them.
 
T

Ties

Banned
Yado said:
No, sorry. I'm pretty sure we live in different countries. You should definitely look into it though, especially since you're finishing up high school and gaining a little more independence from them.
Click to expand...
Definitely

I'm excited to finally be free of my parents after graduation. They've been a bit homophobic towards some of my gestures, so it'd be a nice start to not have that watchful eye on me at all times.
 
D

daripad

Member
Right now I'm trying to make obvious my homosexuality to my best friend
he is too naive, he'll never get what I'm trying to say :'(
 
T

Ties

Banned
daripad said:
Right now I'm trying to make obvious my homosexuality to my best friend
he is too naive, he'll never get what I'm trying to say :'(
Click to expand...
dddd

When I came out to my circle of friends I was direct with it, I don't know about your situation all that much tho

death at the replies &#128064;
 
V

Vazra

irresponsible vagina leak
daripad said:
Right now I'm trying to make obvious my homosexuality to my best friend
he is too naive, he'll never get what I'm trying to say :'(
Click to expand...

Make a Zangief Gay Picture your wallpaper of your cellphone or PC.
sf87_anonib.jpg
 
H

Haly

One day I realized that sadness is just another word for not enough coffee.
That's just some thing straight grapplers do.

Nothing gay about that all.
 
M

mantidor

Member
Natetan said:
I was at a freeway rest stop area the other day and a boat load of youth rugby players where there. All these hot guys doing so much gay shit to each other. It was both beautiful and irritating.
Click to expand...

Rugby is basically rough gay foreplay with clothes on. If they are not comfortable with it they just won't last long in the sport.

It also unfortunately makes them really douchey in other areas, like how awfully sexist, misogynist, alcoholic or violent rugby people can be. Not all of them, of course, but I've seen cases.


tl:dr; Don't be fooled.
 
D

daripad

Member
Ties said:
dddd

When I came out to my circle of friends I was direct with it, I don't know about your situation all that much tho

death at the replies &#128064;
Click to expand...

I'm doing that on porpuse because he will never find out. I don't want him to know, I've had three coming out experiences and the three of them have brought horrible consequences and I don't want to dissapoint myself again. Btw this friend used to be my crush too (the most painful one) and I feel like coming out to him would lead to him ignoring me forever and he is too good to let him go like that :(
 
T

Ties

Banned
daripad said:
I'm doing that on porpuse because he will never find out. I don't want him to know, I've had three coming out experiences and the three of them have brought horrible consequences and I don't want to dissapoint myself again. Btw this friend used to be my crush too (the most painful one) and I feel like coming out to him would lead to him ignoring me forever and he is too good to let him go like that :(
Click to expand...
Has there been any indication whatsoever that he may harbor feelings of homophobia? If not, you should just go ahead with it. Even then he is your best friend, I don't think he would dismiss you abruptly if he initially disapproves of your sexuality.
 
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