I have a habit of overestimating how much context people have on something when I'm talking about it, so I can see why.
Finding something that really resonates with you in a way that stimulates both parts of you is probably one of the hardest things I can imagine someone having to do. A lot of the time what the more instinctual and experience-oriented parts of us want often contradicts what the intellectual and moral aspects are looking for.
I feel kind of the same way with Deism, which resonates with my morals and my ideas about metaphysics, but doesn't really leave anything with an experience to connect to (Which isn't necessarily a bad thing, and something I've gotten by without), but there isn't much of a passion behind it that way.
Yeah that seems like it might be it.
Agreed, or even the multi-layered or onion-like aspect of your psyche might lead to conflicting or conflating cues. Like in the case of Buddhism, the cessation of suffering seems like an ideal attainment in general, but for someone that is depressed there might be a greater sense of urgency there even if you understand the philosophical reasons why, because that's coming from your more immediate sense of desperation. Obviously you have to have a lot of your shit already sorted out, and have a pretty pliable and centered psyche to even think about it in a way that's particularly constructive or worthwhile. A desire for annihilation or 'checking out' can masquerade as a desire for nibbana, even when mentally you know they're in no way the same thing
Deism is really cool (at one point I identified as a pan[-en]-deist), but I see no reason for not taking up some kind of practice, too! Clearing out the cobwebs through some form of meditation is like the best thing ever imo. A lot of people seem to do it for the general cognitive benefits, but I don't really get that as a powerful motivator personally, or know that much about what those supposed benefits would be. A sense of wellbeing is more important than all of that by my assessment and it's the only thing that has succeeded in keeping me up with it. Prayer is supposed to be really good too, though it works on different brain centres. Supposedly it's more directly attuned to instilling a sense of comfort and bliss (while I guess meditation is more centered on a sense of 'emptiness').
Though I'm not really trying to push anything, but in an either/or proposition of either spiritual practice or spiritual philosophy, practice seems more valuable to me. Thankfully we don't have to choose though
