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LGBTQIA+ :)OT6(: We’re taking over -- first the alphabet, then the world!

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S

SoraanTribal

Member
Vitanimus said:
so how do people feel about LGBT persons using the word faggot, or any sort of associated term

a lot of my friends over the years have come out so now we're quite a heavy LGBT group and we jokingly call each other faggots all the time cos we don't use it as a slur and it's kinda funny because a couple of years ago I was 100% against anyone using it. now I just don't care that much
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I don't like the word at all, but it's probably due to how it has been used around me a lot when I was younger. It was the "go-to" word for insulting each other back in school and that just made me feel even more alone. I never knew who was actually homophobic or just trying to fit in and using the word anyways. Always made me feel very uncomfortable when someone called me that word when I wasn't out yet to any of them. I'm not friends with most of them anymore and never see them at least.

One thing that South Park episode about it got right is it's too "fun" of a word to say, so I think that's why people like using it. D:
 
F

Frodo

Member
Vitanimus said:
Oh yeah I totally agree, I would never use it in a derogatory sense to someone I didn't know cos that's really gross. I don't think I ever use it in a derogatory way really, I think we just find the word funny cos of the stigma associated, like a 10 year old saying a swear or something
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I like appropriating words and reversing their meaning, in that sense I don't think it is necessarily wrong to use it.

SoraanTribal said:
I don't like the word at all, but it's probably due to how it has been used around me a lot when I was younger. It was the "go-to" word for insulting each other back in school and that just made me feel even more alone. I never knew who was actually homophobic or just trying to fit in and using the word anyways. Always made me feel very uncomfortable when someone called me that word when I wasn't out yet to any of them. I'm not friends with most of them anymore and never see them at least.

One thing that South Park episode about it got right is it's too "fun" of a word to say, so I think that's why people like using it. D:
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This is the reason why I don't like it as well.
 
M

Maleficence

Member
The use of the N word in the black community works because it isn't used in a derogatory manner, I feel like faggot is used even by LGBT people in a derogatory way so I don't think it's ok, but that might just be the porn I watch, I don't know that many LGBT people... yet.

if it's used in a friendly non-derogatory way I don't see the issue. But then the issue comes with others using it and us saying that's not okay. I find it easier to just not use it all together.
 
B

Berordn

Member
Maleficence said:
The use of the N word in the black community works because it isn't used in a derogatory manner, I feel like faggot is used even by LGBT people in a derogatory way so I don't think it's ok, but that might just be the porn I watch, I don't know that many LGBT people... yet.
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Using it in bed is cheating a bit since rational discourse goes out the window pretty quickly. It's still not a word most people are comfortable with outside of that context.
 
E

Escape Goat

Member
I failed at making pancakes. I had to use my stove instead of my grill and I had the heat up too high. I got a well done outside but the inside of one was still gooey. I dont know if I have the strength to go on.
 
X

Xaltheron

Member
HippieHobo said:
Nay, my last post was not a goodbye. It was just something I wanted to post. School, vidya games and life drama are taking most of my time. I haven't been feeling well because... life. ;_; I'm also feeling somewhat existentialist especially during this time of the year. But I'm alright, just gotta see the positive side of things. :)
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Yay! This place would be too quiet without you.
It can be good to have a break sometimes though, so take all the time you need :)


As for the F word, as touched on above, pretty much the only time I'd be okay with someone calling me that is if it was coming from a cute guy who happened to be on top of me at the time :p
Otherwise I'd politely ask them not to.
 
M

mantidor

Member
I like it in Spanish and Portuguese, but the usage is different so I don't know if its comparable.

I also used to not like being called in the feminine form, or other gay friends referencing themselves in the feminine form, wich in spanish and portuguese is very noticeable since they are heavily gendered languages, but I got used to it and I even enjoy it now, I do not do it though.
 
S

Symphonia

Banned
Vitanimus said:
so how do people feel about LGBT persons using the word faggot, or any sort of associated term

a lot of my friends over the years have come out so now we're quite a heavy LGBT group and we jokingly call each other faggots all the time cos we don't use it as a slur and it's kinda funny because a couple of years ago I was 100% against anyone using it. now I just don't care that much
Click to expand...
The only usage of 'faggot' I like is when referring to the meaty kind. Other than that, get that shit outta here.
 
D

daripad

Member
mantidor said:
I like it in Spanish and Portuguese, but the usage is different so I don't know if its comparable.

I also used to not like being called in the feminine form, or other gay friends referencing themselves in the feminine form, wich in spanish and portuguese is very noticeable since they are heavily gendered languages, but I got used to it and I even enjoy it now, I do not do it though.
Click to expand...

I hate in Spanish, maybe because my father says it everyday but I wouldn't like it if someone called me that.
 
B

Bladenic

Member
My roommate and I greet each other with "hey fag" all the time lmao

Of course I wouldn't call someone I didn't know that at all
 
Musha_Soturi

Musha_Soturi

Member
Escape Goat said:
I failed at making pancakes. I had to use my stove instead of my grill and I had the heat up too high. I got a well done outside but the inside of one was still gooey. I dont know if I have the strength to go on.
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You make pancakes using a grill?? Frying pan is the only way
 
Musha_Soturi

Musha_Soturi

Member
Escape Goat said:
I guess the correct term is griddle. The only thing I fail at more than making pancakes is english.
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Ooooooooh. You mean one of these?

F85682B2-DCE3-4158-81CB-39858297350E_zpsprbycj0k.jpg
 
V

Valerie Cherish

Member
Does anyone use 9 Monsters? It's a Japan-based app. I was blown away that when you send a message to someone, it shows the original message and provides a translation as well.

(Really just using this post as an excuse to drop in and say hi :p)
 
T

Ty4on

Member
mantidor said:
I like it in Spanish and Portuguese, but the usage is different so I don't know if its comparable.

I also used to not like being called in the feminine form, or other gay friends referencing themselves in the feminine form, wich in spanish and portuguese is very noticeable since they are heavily gendered languages, but I got used to it and I even enjoy it now, I do not do it though.
Click to expand...

Isn't it possible though to never use él/ella and with the right nouns and adjectives (or lack thereof) never reveal the gender? I don't speak either, but it does seem possible though hard when so many nouns have masc. and fem. forms and lack genderless forms (like the dative le for he/she/it).
 
M

mantidor

Member
Ty4on said:
Isn't it possible though to never use él/ella and with the right nouns and adjectives (or lack thereof) never reveal the gender? I don't speak either, but it does seem possible though hard when so many nouns have masc. and fem. forms and lack genderless forms (like the dative le for he/she/it).
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The noun is usually ommited because the subjective already gives that information most of the time, a simple "I am tired" is already gendered, it's either "estoy cansado" or "estoy cansada", see how it didn't need an "el/ella" at all. Most adjectives are also gendered.

And as you mentioned there's no equivalent for something neutral like the pronoun "it" in spanish (or portuguese).

Basically the idea of genderlessness is uncommon, I do wonder if that affects the way our cultures see gender in general.
 
X

Xaltheron

Member
Interesting article Still refusing to date HIV+ guys? Here’s why you could be putting your health at risk

I can see what he's saying, but implying that it's okay to have unprotected sex with HIV+ men so long as they're on treatment is a dangerous message to spread imo. And you can't really blame people for preferring to avoid the risk as much as possible.

And basically saying that waiting until you're in a committed, monogamous relationship before ditching condoms is a stupid idea because they might cheat? That's what trust is all about, mate.
 
M

mantidor

Member
Xaltheron said:
And basically saying that waiting until you're in a committed, monogamous relationship before ditching condoms is a stupid idea because they might cheat? That's what trust is all about, mate.
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Maybe I am cynical but would you put your life at risk? Thankfully HIV is not a death sentence now but it's a life altering disease. I seriously see no reason to ditch condoms, it can also prevent other types of infections unrelated to hiv.
 
K

Kevyt

Member
Xaltheron said:
Yay! This place would be too quiet without you.
It can be good to have a break sometimes though, so take all the time you need :)
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D'awww, thank you sweetie. :)

Yeah, taking a break is good from time to time but I think I'm still gonna be here nagging and annoying people as a way to cope with life, lol :p

As for the F word, as touched on above, pretty much the only time I'd be okay with someone calling me that is if it was coming from a cute guy who happened to be on top of me at the time :p
Otherwise I'd politely ask them not to.
Click to expand...

I feel like if it came out of nowhere that would be a turn off, no? I'd be like "what?" and kind of ruin the moment, I dunno.

mantidor said:
I like it in Spanish and Portuguese, but the usage is different so I don't know if its comparable.

I also used to not like being called in the feminine form, or other gay friends referencing themselves in the feminine form, wich in spanish and portuguese is very noticeable since they are heavily gendered languages, but I got used to it and I even enjoy it now, I do not do it though.
Click to expand...

daripad said:
I hate in Spanish, maybe because my father says it everyday but I wouldn't like it if someone called me that.
Click to expand...

Is it the word that I'm thinking? Because there are various words, some more demeaning than others.
 
X

Xaltheron

Member
mantidor said:
Maybe I am cynical but would you put your life at risk? Thankfully HIV is not a death sentence now but it's a life altering disease. I seriously see no reason to ditch condoms, it can also prevent other types of infections unrelated to hiv.
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Obviously I'd only do it if I knew for a fact he was clean, but as you say, condoms will always be the safer option regardless of the situation. It would all depend on how much I trusted him really, but yeah, it's not a decision I'd take lightly. I can easily understand why some would prefer not to bareback at all, and if he was the same, I'd be cool with that.

HippieHobo said:
I feel like if it came out of nowhere that would be a turn off, no? I'd be like "what?" and kind of ruin the moment, I dunno.
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it depends on how much you're into dominance I guess :p
If I knew it was all just part of the roleplay, then I wouldn't really mind
and I gotta admit, the thought of being dominated does turn me on quite a bit *blush*
 
J

J-Fr

Member
Vitanimus said:
so how do people feel about LGBT persons using the word faggot, or any sort of associated term
Click to expand...

It feels like half of the f word in french have an homophobic connotation -_-
Pédé, tarlouse, enculé, ..

I hear the first one quite a lot around me.
I have yet to met an LGBT person but I prefer to avoid saying insults anyway.
 
T

Ty4on

Member
mantidor said:
The noun is usually ommited because the subjective already gives that information most of the time, a simple "I am tired" is already gendered, it's either "estoy cansado" or "estoy cansada", see how it didn't need an "el/ella" at all. Most adjectives are also gendered.

And as you mentioned there's no equivalent for something neutral like the pronoun "it" in spanish (or portuguese).

Basically the idea of genderlessness is uncommon, I do wonder if that affects the way our cultures see gender in general.
Click to expand...

That is why I said if you formed it right. Something like "Es inteligente y fuerte" has to supply a pronoun in English revealing the gender like "She is intelligent and strong". It could sound like absolute crap in Spanish though :p

Languages' effect on people is an interesting topic.
 
M

mantidor

Member
HippieHobo said:
Is it the word that I'm thinking? Because there are various words, some more demeaning than others.
Click to expand...

Spanish in general is "marica/maricon", there is local slang like "joto" in Mexico, but the former are the most widely used in all the continent.

However the use varies a lot, in my home country Colombia "marica" is used in a million contexts, between friends straight or not and in many forms of slang. A word like "maricada" can mean something of no importance, for instance, the use is so widespread that people actually using it as a homophobic offense is not very common. Ironically the word "gay" is used more as something offensive, like in the "that's gay" case referring to something stupid.

Portuguese has "viado" as the most common, there's "bicha/bichona" as well. Viado is also used in other contexts and between straight friends, although it's used in a more offensive manner. Gay people use it frequently between them in the same way, it's like a friendly banter, but it's still offensive.
 
M

Maleficence

Member
How long did it take you guys to start really comfortably saying that you were gay or bi or whatever. I still find it difficult to just say the words, I know it's silly but after suppressing it for so long I guess it's hard to say it.
 
V

Vashetti

Banned
Maleficence said:
How long did it take you guys to start really comfortably saying that you were gay or bi or whatever. I still find it difficult to just say the words, I know it's silly but after suppressing it for so long I guess it's hard to say it.
Click to expand...

Second nature to me at this point. As soon as I had told my parents and they accepted me straight away, I knew I had nothing to worry about.
 
K

Klappdrachen

Member
Maleficence said:
How long did it take you guys to start really comfortably saying that you were gay or bi or whatever. I still find it difficult to just say the words, I know it's silly but after suppressing it for so long I guess it's hard to say it.
Click to expand...

I have no problems calling myself gay when I'm around friends, but my family still doesn't know. Just hearing the word "gay" when I'm with the family makes me kind of nervous.
 
S

Symphonia

Banned
Maleficence said:
How long did it take you guys to start really comfortably saying that you were gay or bi or whatever. I still find it difficult to just say the words, I know it's silly but after suppressing it for so long I guess it's hard to say it.
Click to expand...
Only a couple of close friends know I'm bisexual. My family still have no idea and I honestly don't know if I'll ever tell them, especially my parents. They're the kind of people to vote UKIP for the wrong reasons and their views on society today are somewhat twisted. That said, I haven't properly spoken to my immediate family for a few years. I have nothing to worry about.
 
D

Dany

Banned
Maleficence said:
How long did it take you guys to start really comfortably saying that you were gay or bi or whatever. I still find it difficult to just say the words, I know it's silly but after suppressing it for so long I guess it's hard to say it.
Click to expand...

It takes some time before you're no longer nervous of being judged. I kind of struggled with that in my last couple years of undergrad but now I don't really care. My sexuality is one aspect of me, its not a big deal if you don't make it a big deal.

Obviously when I first was coming out yes, it was important that I define myself to be comfortable with it to myself. Like it was important when i told friends that i majored with. but its not important to my current classmates. And when you reach that point, it'll be a sigh of relief.
 
S

Sai-kun

Banned
Maleficence said:
How long did it take you guys to start really comfortably saying that you were gay or bi or whatever. I still find it difficult to just say the words, I know it's silly but after suppressing it for so long I guess it's hard to say it.
Click to expand...

I was always pretty comfortable telling myself that I was bi, but it was until just a couple years ago that I stopped having trouble making it a part of my more outward identity. I used to skirt the question because explaining bisexuality was a hassle sometimes but now it's whateverrrrrrr.

One thing though, is that I identify as both bi and queer, and I have no trouble saying to someone that I'm queer, but I don't really like when other people refer to me as queer. :/ idk, maybe I'm too used to hearing 'queer' in a derogatory way from other people so its some kind of subconscious reflex.
 
D

daripad

Member
Maleficence said:
How long did it take you guys to start really comfortably saying that you were gay or bi or whatever. I still find it difficult to just say the words, I know it's silly but after suppressing it for so long I guess it's hard to say it.
Click to expand...

Just recently. Last year I started to come out and this year I've been feeling comfortable with my sexuality except at home and with people that are/seem to be homophobic. I'm hoping that by next year it is natural and don't feel uncomfortable when people talk about homosexuality in a derogatory way.
 
G

garyBig

Member
Not been on here (or NeoGaf) in quite some time, thought I'd swing by. Skiing in Austria was really great, had lots of fun with my uncle and my 14 year old girl cousin who feverishly adores me, both of whom joined us for the first time (we've been doing this trip yearly for like 20 years now). Had my last exam on wednesday and now I'm chillin' til' monday when next semester starts.

Also, finally after pretty much a lifetime of unwieldy hair, new haircut:

picsart_1428580656558rysga.jpg
Click to expand...

With all of my self-improving, finding myself, making up my mind and stuff of the last year and a half, this feels like one of the final steps, bringing my inner change to the surface in a way, making it visibly clear that this is the new me. It really helps a lot. This year is gonna be good, guys. I hope, anyway.
 
T

TheAbsolution

Member
garyBig said:
Not been on here (or NeoGaf) in quite some time, thought I'd swing by. Skiing in Austria was really great, had lots of fun with my uncle and my 14 year old girl cousin who feverishly adores me, both of whom joined us for the first time (we've been doing this trip yearly for like 20 years now). Had my last exam on wednesday and now I'm chillin' til' monday when next semester starts.

Also, finally after pretty much a lifetime of unwieldy hair, new haircut:



With all of my self-improving, finding myself, making up my mind and stuff of the last year and a half, this feels like one of the final steps, bringing my inner change to the surface in a way, making it visibly clear that this is the new me. It really helps a lot. This year is gonna be good, guys. I hope, anyway.
Click to expand...
Glad to hear that you had fun in Austria.
Love the haircut by the way. :)
 
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