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[berzeli]

You have no business crying foul about condescension when you both decided that this community wasn't up to your standards and decided to make commentary about it. Want to discuss more substantial topics? Just fucking do it, but without the passive aggressive jabs mixed in between. Thanks.

I have done so repeatedly in this thread (mostly about representation) and I have also expressed how I feel about this thread when it turns to multiple posts about hot guys. It is not as if any community is above being critiqued and I fail to see how I or sub-zero were being unfair to anyone. And I feel that it is not a good response that when someone brings up a perceived issue they're met with belittlement.

What this guy said, I like this guy.

A lot of us post thought provoking stories and talk about a great many subjects, some quite fired up and serious. It's not our fault if you guys are never here to actually see it, but then you come in making these claims that all we do is make a picture perfect world here full of semi naked guys.

At least try and contribute before calling us out on not contributing.

I do follow this thread closely and I'm sorry if me just having posted 63 times (as of writing this) means that I'm disqualified of having an opinion on the matter.

edit:

Most of the posters in this thread, as far as I can tell, use this place as an escape/vacation from the stresses of being queer in a queer-unfriendly world.

So, I think it's understandable that people don't really care to see socio-cultural baggage taking the lime light.

I'm well aware of that, but I still don't feel that excuses any and all criticism. I've said as much in my original post, that I realise and understand why this is, but we still could do better and not shy away from discussing things (which is what I feel happens at times).

 

[Symphonia]

Most of the posters in this thread, as far as I can tell, use this place as an escape/vacation from the stresses of being queer in a queer-unfriendly world.

So, I think it's understandable that people don't really care to see socio-cultural baggage taking the lime light.

Well said, my man.

 

[Ty4on]

You have no business crying foul about condescension when you both decided that this community wasn't up to your standards and decided to make commentary about it. Want to discuss more substantial topics? Just fucking do it, but without the passive aggressive jabs mixed in between. Thanks.

I'm going to assume you meant berzeli. If so it is hard to find a post by him in the queer threads NOT discussing the aforementioned topics.

 

[User 73706]

Most of the posters in this thread, as far as I can tell, use this place as an escape/vacation from the stresses of being queer in a queer-unfriendly world.

So, I think it's understandable that people don't really care to see socio-cultural baggage taking the lime light.

This is totally understandable, and it's partially why I wish we had a separate "LGBTQIA+ Politics" thread. After so many OTs community threads do turn into outright communities more than they do discussion threads: HaloGAF, Pics That Make You Laugh, etc. but at the same time I feel like it's difficult for me to get a discussion started edgewise outside of the occasional thread in Off-Topic.

 

[Haly]

We encountered this problem in the anime (lulz, anime, amirite guys) thread a lot, where the vast majority of users just don't care to discuss it in any significant depth, preferring instead to post screenshots from the latest popular series about people slicing up other people. We tried "policing" discussion for a bit until it became obvious that it just soured the experience for everyone involved and drove posters from both sides away. Doesn't work in the long run!

But what happened was, the people who were interested in having Real Serious Discussions started a concerted effort to begin and engage people in Real Serious Discussions and, eventually, we reached a happy medium where casual anime talk existed side by side with 5000 word dialogues about whether or not Hibike! Euphonium was lesbian baiting in the latest episode, how it fits into the broader context of homosexuality in Japanese media, as well as whether or not people were projecting their desire for a true-to-life lesbian story onto a work that had no intention of engaging on that level in the first place.

The point is, criticism is fine, but it's not going to get people talking about the things you feel deserve to be talked about. The only way to achieve that is to lead by example and engage people on how you want to be engaged, and hope enough people feel the same way.

 

[esms]

This is totally understandable, and it's partially why I wish we had a separate "LGBTQIA+ Politics" thread. After so many OTs community threads do turn into outright communities more than they do discussion threads: HaloGAF, Pics That Make You Laugh, etc. but at the same time I feel like it's difficult for me to get a discussion started edgewise outside of the occasional thread in Off-Topic.

I understand where you're coming from and would post in the bolded thread if it existed, but this thread can have meaningful, in-depth discussions. Take a look at page 270 through 274 for an insightful (at least to me) look at racism, transphobia and promiscuity in the gay community from the perspectives of those who post here.

 

[berzeli]

I'm going to assume you meant berzeli. If so it is hard to find a post by him in the queer threads NOT discussing the aforementioned topics.

Just so you know, you can't directly link searches, but thank you for acknowledging that I do post about it.

We encountered this problem in the anime (lulz, anime, amirite guys) thread a lot, where the vast majority of users just don't care to discuss it in any significant depth, preferring instead to post screenshots from the latest popular series about people slicing up other people. We tried "policing" discussion for a bit until it became obvious that it just soured the experience for everyone involved and drove posters from both sides away. Doesn't work in the long run!

But what happened was, the people who were interested in having Real Serious Discussions started a concerted effort to begin and engage people in Real Serious Discussions and, eventually, we reached a happy medium where casual anime talk existed side by side with 5000 word dialogues about whether or not Hibike! Euphonium was lesbian baiting in the latest episode, how it fits into the broader context of homosexuality in Japanese media, as well as whether or not people were projecting their desire for a true-to-life lesbian story onto a work that had no intention of engaging on that level in the first place.

The point is, criticism is fine, but it's not going to get people talking about the things you feel deserve to be talked about. The only way to achieve that is to lead by example and engage people on how you want to be engaged, and hope enough people feel the same way.

I'm not suggesting policing in any way shape or form but it's slightly ironic to be met with people trying to shut down the discussion when you are arguing that the community is bad at discussing certain topics. It is especially frustrating when people say "well what have you done about it?" when I have put in effort to discuss these topics. Hell I've been thinking about writing some more about representation (because I do find that topic very fascinating), with special regard to how agency elevates characters who could otherwise be perceived as a stereotype (e.g. Felix Dawkins from Orphan Black).

 

[CornBurrito]

What is with you being so condescending toward me and sub-zero? You make an awful lot of assumptions in your post; fun facts: I too have more straight friends than queer ones, and I know for a fact that on at least one forum I frequent the average poster is well into their 30s. Secondly the assertion that "Nobody gives a fuck about politics at that age. Literally, hardly anyone really gives that much of a fuck about it" is extremely hyperbolic and not really conducive to discussion. And it also sort of misses the point since it was about how there are issues which pertains specifically to the LGBT community at large which also have come up in this thread.

I'm being condescending because I find passive aggressive 'this community sucks' posts to be annoying*. If you don't like the community because of what is or isn't posted about, that's on you. You can post shit you want to discuss rather than getting angry that people are discussing hot guy #124234. If you don't then of course the community is going to gravitate further away from things you want to talk about.

As for my extremely hyperbolic assertion, well yeah. But it isn't a wrong assertion either. It is a fact that 20 something year olds have abysmally low voter turnout. Low voter turnout is a sign of political apathy. And again, this isn't a problem with the LGBT community or the GAF LGBT community not wanting to discuss difficult things like race or politics. It is a problem with 20 year olds in general. So coming in here and going "gee white gay people just never seem to ever want to discuss something of actual worth" is pretty fucking rude given that it is actually more of a problem with 20 year olds.

But yeah, I'm being condescending here. Not the two people who came into this thread so that they could turn up their noses and post the equivalent of "smh at white gay men".

You have no business crying foul about condescension when you both decided that this community wasn't up to your standards and decided to make commentary about it. Want to discuss more substantial topics? Just fucking do it, but without the passive aggressive jabs mixed in between. Thanks.

Sending a virtual kiss your way <3

Most of the posters in this thread, as far as I can tell, use this place as an escape/vacation from the stresses of being queer in a queer-unfriendly world.

So, I think it's understandable that people don't really care to see socio-cultural baggage taking the lime light.

Actually this is a good point. Instead of fighting over this thread's culture (hangout spot to chill, or serious bzness political hour) we could have two separate threads.

 

[Sai-kun]

it's possible you both are being condescending it doesn't have to be one or the other

 

[CornBurrito]

it's possible you both are being condescending it doesn't have to be one or the other

Oh that is the case. I'm well aware of my general assholishness. I just don't have the power to change. It is my curse. #bornthisway

 

[Vitanimus]

 

[CornBurrito]

Ok for real, I'll try and be nice from now on.

 

[berzeli]

I'm being condescending because I find passive aggressive 'this community sucks' posts to be annoying*. If you don't like the community because of what is or isn't posted about, that's on you. You can post shit you want to discuss rather than getting angry that people are discussing hot guy #124234. If you don't then of course the community is going to gravitate further away from things you want to talk about.

As for my extremely hyperbolic assertion, well yeah. But it isn't a wrong assertion either. It is a fact that 20 something year olds have abysmally low voter turnout. Low voter turnout is a sign of political apathy. And again, this isn't a problem with the LGBT community or the GAF LGBT community not wanting to discuss difficult things like race or politics. It is a problem with 20 year olds in general. So coming in here and going "gee white gay people just never seem to ever want to discuss something of actual worth" is pretty fucking rude given that it is actually more of a problem with 20 year olds.

But yeah, I'm being condescending here. Not the two people who came into this thread so that they could turn up their noses and post the equivalent of "smh at white gay men".

I'm not angry and sorry if that is the impression that you're getting. Yes, I might have been a bit too snarky with the mentions of gifs and boys but I have repeatedly posted about issues affecting the LGBTIQ community if that makes you happier.

It is indeed true that the voter turnout is substantially lower for younger people but you're still not quite correct about the topic:

"The average turnout rate for all citizens across the 15 nations was 88.6 percent, and 80 percent for those aged 18-29. ... However, it should not be concluded that age is the only variable that accounts for low voter turnout. Research has established that turnout is affected by a number of other factors, some relating to the individual microlevel (income, education, interest in politics) and others to the macro-level of the political system (the party system, the electoral system, election procedures). "[source (pdf)]

So ascribing the lower turnout as a direct consequence of apathy is misleading.


And yet again this accusation of "coming into the thread", what is the requirement of being a part of the thread? 100 posts? 200? I'm not coming into the thread, I never left.

Actually this is a good point. Instead of fighting over this thread's culture (hangout spot to chill, or serious bzness political hour) we could have two separate threads.

To be honest, I don't think that a LGBTIQ polithread would be able to sustain itself so I don't think that is a viable solution.

 

[Alrus]

I mean, I understand the need to discuss more serious topics. But in regard to Russia, I just don't see what's there to discuss in depth that hasn't already been discussed to death? Outside of feeling awful about the situation and how very unlikely it is to change any time soon.

I mean I find posts which just consists of appalled reactions ("awful awful place") or show of support to people who will never see it to be just as meaningless as the random hot guy ones.

 

[daripad]

What are yall plans for the summer?

Two things:
1. I applied for a summer research program and I'm getting out of my state with my best friend (yay!). It means that I'll be learning a lot outside of just pure clinical things and that I'll get to do new stuff that I haven't done before

2. I'll keep writing. I stopped doing it this week but I'll start again tonight, as I've been feeling inspired to do it and it has helped me to feel better.

 

[Sibylus]

What are yall plans for the summer?

Cutie and I are going to a comedy show tonight, heading to an amusement park later in July, and seemingly Seattle in August or DC. Doing all of this with summer classes 4 days of the week. And I want to go to a national park but $$$

Also, I know how to respond to a code blue now. So eager to place my knowledge practically.

In no particular order:

• Rest
• Get into university
• Write my book at length
• Lose a bunch of cherries
• Get nose/tongue pierced
• Wear swimsuit
• Travel abroad for the first time
• Independence from my folks
• Go red

 

[Haly]

Looking for a job.
Polishing programming skillz.
Setting up a new portfolio site.
Short vacation to Lake George with the fam.
Trying to stay alive in the sweltering heat.
Playing too much DOTA2.
Hoping to start my psychotherapy.

 

[Blood Diamonds]

*Getting a job
*yeah i just really need a job so that's my focus rn

 

[EvilRedEye]

Work have finally, finally stopped dicking me about so I will be spending summer moving out of home and uncloseting and doing Gay Things.

 

[Sai-kun]

- Graduate
- Find a new apartment either in Chicago or NYC
- Move in with girlfriend
- Make more music
- Find a job I enjoy
- Go to every show and festival I can afford.

Pretty short list, but a good one.

 

[Prototype Viktor]

Whatever happened to the days of being allowed to have an opinion?

those days started to end with "day" that's what happened

 

[kitchenmotors]

- Graduate
- Find a new apartment either in Chicago or NYC
- Move in with girlfriend
- Make more music
- Find a job I enjoy
- Go to every show and festival I can afford.

Pretty short list, but a good one.

If you move to NYC Phil and I are coming to visit. He was just talking about taking a much needed vacation soon.

But at least come back for Lolla every year. ;(

 

[Barrylocke]

The key one is building an existence that doesn't have me obsessing over my long mentioned friend with bf, as well being more independent. This includes :

• Certification studying
• Going out in nature
• Going out to social stuff, game nights, bars
• Occasional casual sex
• Dates (I hope)
• Make more RL friends, especially gay friends
• Work Out

Optional:

• Clean my room
• Tweak wardrobe a bit
• Play Trails in the Sky SC (Xseed please!)

And then theres DC Pride in 2 weeks; I'm still going to that. I'm considering buying something pride-ish to wear the, as I dont have any clothes like that right now.

 

[Bladenic]

1. Start going to the gym so i'm no longer a beached splashing land whale
2. Get hot

 

[ab.aeterno]

Don't get me wrong, I wouldn't cut ties with a dude for being a furry. I've nothing against them, I just find it an odd thing that I can't really wrap my head around personally. But then again I find a lot of sexual kinks pretty odd. Like m.preg stuff.

That's the first time I've heard those things compared.

I am friends mostly with straight people, so let me fill you in on a little secret.

I mean, uh, statistically speaking, I'm sure most if not all of us are. I don't think there's any secret insider straight knowledge you have.

Hey ab! Do you understand my frustration?

-------->

No, because I don't know what you could possibly be frustrated by as regards furry, if that's what you are referring to.

I "get" furry as a fetish/kink, makes about as much sense as leather and stuff.
What I don't get is when it becomes a lifestyle and something they do in their everyday lives, I think that's a bit strange.

(especially when they try and compare it to something intrinsic, like sexuality)

It's like any other hobby or interest: a community builds around it, and runs a spectrum of people and the place it serves in their lives. What's not to get? It's not different than gaming in that respect.

Unlike gaming though, it has a high percentage of LGBTQ people, so it's usually a safer place than gaming sites for feeling welcome and included.

They do? huh, I thought it was just a sex thing, but I guess I can see how they could do it all the time.

It's not for some people. You could always talk to us. Plenty of furries are in this community and would give their perspective.

But yeah, I'm being condescending here. Not the two people who came into this thread so that they could turn up their noses and post the equivalent of "smh at white gay men".

They aren't "coming into" this community. They have been here and will (hopefully) continue to be here. Phrasing it that way feels exclusionary at best and sends the message to people that they may not be welcome to join if they disagree with people in here. I would feel skittish about joining after witnessing the mess in here over the last few days. And that's a shame given what the thread has given me, what a positive and life-changing impact it has had on me. The thought of anyone else missing out on that breaks my heart.

It's not the occasional drink though, I drink every single night. I don't get completely mashed but I do drink until I'm drunk. This isn't a new thing, either, I've been like this for a good 3-4 years. It might not be a problem at all and I might just be looking too much into it, but I'm just pairing the above fact with the fact that I suffer from severe anxiety orders and have bipolar disorder.

If you're getting drunk every night, you might want to consider talking to someone professional about it. Especially if it's been going on for years. If you're worried it's a problem, they can inform you better than any of us can.

 

[Razmos]

My plans are:
Finish decorating my room
Continue going to the gym/get hot
Find a job
Apply for university
Spend more time having fun with friends

 

[kitchenmotors]

1. Start going to the gym so i'm no longer a beached splashing land whale
2. Get hot

But you don't need to work on #2.

 

[Bladenic]

But you don't need to work on #2.

yes i do im a hideous troll.

 

[Vazra]

My plans are:
Upload more videos

Good plans.

 

[twobear]

well first i'm going to work on overcoming depression and then i'm going to achieve literally all of my life goals

 

[Haly]

Go back to the dota thread 2bear.

 

[<+)O Robido O(+>]

yes i do im a hideous troll.

Why do you attractive people do this? Do you not get ENOUGH attention?

Spoiler

 

[kitchenmotors]

yes i do im a hideous troll.

Please. Don't even try that.

Yas for working out though. I've been really into going to the gym and making progress.

 

[Sai-kun]

yes i do im a hideous troll.

shut up u fuckin nerd

well first i'm going to work on overcoming depression and then i'm going to achieve literally all of my life goals

same yolo

 

[Razmos]

Good plans.

LOL!
We'll see ;P

 

[alvmew]

What are yall plans for the summer?

Cutie and I are going to a comedy show tonight, heading to an amusement park later in July, and seemingly Seattle in August or DC. Doing all of this with summer classes 4 days of the week. And I want to go to a national park but $$$

Also, I know how to respond to a code blue now. So eager to place my knowledge practically.

- work (currently work a full time 9-5, I'm going to have to work a little less in the fall because of school so I might look for a part time job I can do at night or on weekends to help me save some cash)
- keep working out and dieting (I have lost 42 lbs in the last five months so I think I'm good on the fat/weight loss end and now want to focus on building muscle)
- taking a class online in July for school
- resting (I have to mentally prepare for taking six classes at school and an lsat prep course on the weekend for this upcoming semester - yay senior year)
- finding a hobby or something

Woo!

 

[Bladenic]

LMAO ya'll funny i'm just messing around.

but no really I am chubby. it's time to change

also the CEO of protein world is a bit TOO big but still hot.

 

[Kater]

Two things:
1. I applied for a summer research program and I'm getting out of my state with my best friend (yay!). It means that I'll be learning a lot outside of just pure clinical things and that I'll get to do new stuff that I haven't done before

2. I'll keep writing. I stopped doing it this week but I'll start again tonight, as I've been feeling inspired to do it and it has helped me to feel better.

Writing is a really great help, as is any artistic outlet if you have a lot of stress in your life. I know that it made me feel a lot better a couple years ago.

 

[Vitanimus]

well first i'm going to work on overcoming depression and then i'm going to achieve literally all of my life goals

slay

hi godels *.* how is your phd going

 

[Deleted member 465307]

-snip-

ab, I like a lot of what you say. You're a cool

Spoiler

jungle

cat.

My personal thoughts on this whole conversation: I would like it if we could talk about more serious issues here. I agree with people who described this place as an escape. From what I've seen, it seems like a lot of people come here for support, and I think that's great. As a result, I think this thread has a very therapeutic quality. That said, I think other people find satisfaction, positivity, and "therapy" (used in a very broad sense) by discussing issues that frequently upset and negatively affect them. I don't think there's much difference between someone coming on here and talking about a terrible ex or social experience and someone coming to this group to discuss larger issues of race, class, heterosexism, culture, etc. that are just as upsetting and more pervasive/persistent. I think, however, because these issues are so big, it can be difficult to discuss these effectively in text form on a semi-anonymous forum. Personally, I've had the most productive conversations on these subjects in person. That said, I would still like to see them here, and I feel like I learn a lot from everything you all are saying. Your opinions have a lot of value for me. I am very much in support of these issues having a place in this forum—like berzeli said, I don't think we could sustain two threads—but I think it's important to consider the limitations (and miscommunications) of text and to assume that no one on here is actively seeking to harm others (at least initially, since escalation messes with things).

I know I'm relatively new, and I hope I haven't come across as the most patronizing jerk ever. Just wanted to express my opinion. I appreciate what ab said about what this community has been/is/can be, as I've been witness to over the past couple months.

Good plans.

Laughing.

 

[twobear]

slay

hi godels *.* how is your phd going

it's not, that's the problem.

 

[Menaged]

I don't usually post here, mostly lurk here and there, but I felt like spreading the word about the movie Pride (2014).

Maybe it's been talked to death here, but I wanted to recommend it to you guys and girls. I've found it heartwarming, informative and funny. I've enjoyed every minute of it, especially because I didn't feel like it wasted time setting everything up.

In short (maybe spoilers?)

Spoiler

the movie is set in 1984 in the UK, and follows the miners strike that lasts for about a year or so. A small group of gays and lesbians are trying to help the miners by raising some funds, due to a mutual enemy - the government.

It may has some cliche's (the biggest turnoff according to a friend I watched it with), but I didn't mind them, maybe due to the light tone - as light as a movie like this can be - of the film.

 

[Touchdown]

well first i'm going to work on overcoming depression and then i'm going to achieve literally all of my life goals

I know you're going to Make It Happen <3

 

[Vitanimus]

it's not, that's the problem.

oh what went wrong

 

[twobear]

oh what went wrong

aforementioned depression. but this time i finally got fed up with it and now i'm on medication and going to counselling. i'm going to get my life back on track.

 

[Vitanimus]

aforementioned depression. but this time i finally got fed up with it and now i'm on medication and going to counselling. i'm going to get my life back on track.

i'm v glad to hear you are prioritizing your mental health

 

[RatskyWatsky]

the thread has given me, what a positive and life-changing impact it has had on me.

youre welcome <3 xoxo

 

[Deleted member 465307]

aforementioned depression. but this time i finally got fed up with it and now i'm on medication and going to counselling. i'm going to get my life back on track.

From what I know, Ph.D.s are difficult and turbulent, and even someone with no personal life difficulties can get stuck in the middle of their research process. I really like your positive thinking and determination. Good luck!

Spoiler

or girl or whatever term you prefer

 

[RatskyWatsky]

I don't usually post here, mostly lurk here and there, but I felt like spreading the word about the movie Pride (2014).

Maybe it's been talked to death here, but I wanted to recommend it to you guys and girls. I've found it heartwarming, informative and funny. I've enjoyed every minute of it, especially because I didn't feel like it wasted time setting everything up.

In short (maybe spoilers?)

Spoiler

the movie is set in 1984 in the UK, and follows the miners strike that lasts for about a year or so. A small group of gays and lesbians are trying to help the miners by raising some funds, due to a mutual enemy - the government.

It may has some cliche's (the biggest turnoff according to a friend I watched it with), but I didn't mind them, maybe due to the light tone - as light as a movie like this can be - of the film.

thanks for the recommendation. ive never heard of it but will check it out when it hits netflix.

and post more often ok *mwah*

 

[Dead Prince]

Please. Don't even try that.

Yas for working out though. I've been really into going to the gym and making progress.

Gym is a lot of fun. I'm glad I signed up. Just left doing some hiit cardio stuff. Now I'm just relaxing and readying myself for leg day tomorrow. Them squats though