Waiter: "Sir, you have been to our fine restaurant before, no?"
Patron: "Yes I have, twice actually. The first time was fantastic and the second was perfect except for the desert which I found to be out of place with your restaurants usual menu, which I have grown to love."
Waiter: "I am so sorry for that sir. Though I can personally guarantee that tonight your experience will be unforgettable. As a matter of fact, why don't you tell me what you ordered during your first two visits, and I will have the chef prepare something that reflects and complements your prior visits, resulting in a dining experience that is unique to you! Tomorrow you will not be able to tell your friends I had desert A, B, or C. It will be a unique reflection of your personal experiences with our fine establishment thus far. How does that sound?"
Patron: "That sounds fantastic. You know, I have heard about this feature in your advertisements, and to be honest; that is one of the main reasons I decided to come that first time, and then have returned twice now. I am very much looking forward to this unique conclusion."
*in the interests of time*
Patron: "What the fuck? I'm sitting here finishing my shockingly bad Green pudding as it seemed like the best choice out of the THREE you offered, and I'm thinking, 'Hey, maybe I just chose the wrong option. Those other two deserts must have been so much better'. And low and behold I look at that table and he is choking down the exact same shitty desert, just with a different food coloring on it! And that lady over there has a different color, and oh, whats this? Her spoon fell over when you were serving it to her, and you had the balls to call it different to her face! The spoon falling over is not a unique conclusion! Oh, and then best of all. You deliver the check with your little generic note telling me to be sure to check back to this hell hole soon so I can drain more money on sides for the main course that I finished a half hour ago! Shit, you could at least have told me it was a joke and the real desert is on its way. Fuck this! I have got to be dreaming right?"
Waiter: "Sir, I delivered on every front. It is not my fault that you have such poor taste. You must have wanted a happy dish? Perhaps I should have brought out a birthday hat and some kazoos, and we could have baked you a little baby cake with sparklers on it, and given you a kitten to take home. You just cannot accept the bittersweet perfection on your plate."