If she's a lady friend like me, offer to bring a random delicious and fattening item and marathon a favorite show.
The extra-fattening ice cream and Buffy. Get to work, bro.
Mental Health |OT| Depression & Co.
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The extra-fattening ice cream and Buffy. Get to work, bro.
DJ Lushious
Member
Do you have a free spot on that couch of significant other loneliness? 'Cause I am in the same boat. Been keeping myself busy, but I am still so alone. I have a people around me, but I am still so alone. I still think of my ex, but I am still so alone.
I am reminded of some very strong lyrics to a Jackson Browne song from an album that will forever be sealed as the album I listened to after my first breakup ever. Beyond that, it speaks so much volumes about the feelings one has at the end of a relationship. I feel the tears coming back now, as I think of her. Why does it have to be like this?
What does Windam do for 10 hours when he's at home? Study? Ha! Something productive? Ha! No, he does... nothing for 10 hours. Feel like a waste of space.
FFFFFFFUUUUU new page. Here, have this: HEYYEYAAEYAAAEYAEYAA
FFFFFFFUUUUU new page. Here, have this: HEYYEYAAEYAAAEYAEYAA
User 100115
Banned
Some cute for the new page:
Kitty I really thought you were gonna make it.Some cute for the new page:
Vigilant Walrus
Member
My mental problem; my fear and anexiety of losing my girlfriend.
I've tried a lot of things. Psychologist, psychiatrist(ceroplex, perscribed!), coaches, hypnotherapy.
Despite still having my "thought demons" they generally seem to point at my low self worth. They say I have selfesteme but not selfworth. As such I have a hard time loving myself and accepting myself.
My brain can't understand that, because I have no problem with that, but it seems to cloud my mind, since I can't understand it. They say it might be related to my abscent father since childhood, giving me a classic case of "daddy-issues".
Either by cheating or leaving by her own will, I feel it's symbolic death and it's killed my relationships more than once. I become distanced and sad, and yet almost always it's completely irrational.
My brain seems to think I will never recover if I get dumped or find someone else. My brain seems to think I am constantly on the offset of not being worthy not. not handsome enough, not intelligent enough. being with me, is just a part time thing, and I will get dumped. and dumped I will, it will be too late. i will be too late and die alone.
And that's the fear. it seems to be related to romantic relationships with, women mainly.
----
I am a bit in a loss of what to do, but I have been reading about Buddhism and it talks about the noble truths of buddhism. It says that you can meditate on your fear and eventually grow to accept that the world is ever changing and to have paranoia thoughts about someone leaving every moment is not productive or rational. In my mind I know it, but there is a difference between knowing and believing.
I guess what I am asking here, is if anyone has tried meditation. meditation seems so individually, so abstract that no guides or rules can be written. it seems to be a selfhelp technique shrouded in that you think with in yourself until you begin to accept.
I want to accept that my fear is out of control, and I have tried now with professional help, with self help, with medication and I don't know what else to do.
I've tried a lot of things. Psychologist, psychiatrist(ceroplex, perscribed!), coaches, hypnotherapy.
Despite still having my "thought demons" they generally seem to point at my low self worth. They say I have selfesteme but not selfworth. As such I have a hard time loving myself and accepting myself.
My brain can't understand that, because I have no problem with that, but it seems to cloud my mind, since I can't understand it. They say it might be related to my abscent father since childhood, giving me a classic case of "daddy-issues".
Either by cheating or leaving by her own will, I feel it's symbolic death and it's killed my relationships more than once. I become distanced and sad, and yet almost always it's completely irrational.
My brain seems to think I will never recover if I get dumped or find someone else. My brain seems to think I am constantly on the offset of not being worthy not. not handsome enough, not intelligent enough. being with me, is just a part time thing, and I will get dumped. and dumped I will, it will be too late. i will be too late and die alone.
And that's the fear. it seems to be related to romantic relationships with, women mainly.
----
I am a bit in a loss of what to do, but I have been reading about Buddhism and it talks about the noble truths of buddhism. It says that you can meditate on your fear and eventually grow to accept that the world is ever changing and to have paranoia thoughts about someone leaving every moment is not productive or rational. In my mind I know it, but there is a difference between knowing and believing.
I guess what I am asking here, is if anyone has tried meditation. meditation seems so individually, so abstract that no guides or rules can be written. it seems to be a selfhelp technique shrouded in that you think with in yourself until you begin to accept.
I want to accept that my fear is out of control, and I have tried now with professional help, with self help, with medication and I don't know what else to do.
Darkmakaimura
Can You Imagine What SureAI Is Going To Do With Garfield?
Yeah, I'm in that "forever alone" category. I might as well say quite literally as I don't ever expect to be in a relationship again due to my age, appearance and mental issues.
I have very similar issues with self worth, especially when it comes to women / relationships / girlfriends. I have intense periods of just not understanding why on earth they would ever want to be with me, thinking that they're too good for me and that it's just a matter of time until they realize that and move on.
Meditation helps me tremendously, both in investigating the qualities of my feelings and being at peace with what's happening to me. I haven't transcended pain and suffering or any of that but I don't fight and struggle as much as I used to and, in general, my ability to 'go with it' and have a more absolute viewpoint on my emotions has improved (i.e. "I'm sad right now. That is my reality" VS "I'm sad, I will always be sad, this is forever, fuck it, it's hopeless"). My anxiety has also lessened.
Of course, I still have a loooooooooong way to go. I want to type a long, inspirational post really urging you to keep working on yourself and how great meditation is but I'm too sad for that right now
If you're interested in meditation I can refer you to a few books I found very, very helpful. I've never seen a teacher or anything - the books have been enough for my basic practice.
Let me stop you right there, Fiction. I love you to death, but unless the lady in question is from another planet, I'm going to be surprised if she has much of anything in common with you.
You are a rather...unique..lady.
<3
DJ Lushious
Member
I don't know the details, but get that anxiety taken care of. It'll be a relationship killer every time.
Not that I think you inherently did anything wrong. It seemed like a fling more than anything. Always be distrustful of people who want to be sexual without having a relationship. It's normally a red flag.
Hey guy, not everything works out initially- especially therapy. It can take a while to find someone you are comfortable with or who approaches things in a way that works for you.
Are you entirely sure things have gone south with that girl? IIRC, you said yourself you have anxiety over things rather heavily. Is there a chance the situation can be salvaged and maybe you're just worrying about it too much? If not, I wouldn't worry too much. You're young and she was especially. It takes "trial" relationships like this, around your age in particular, to find out what's right for you, what isn't, why and why not.
I know you cared about this girl but she might have her mind elsewhere when it comes to life and the idea of a serious relationship in it. There will be others and you'll learn from all of them until the right one comes along. :3
As for your test- I don't know what's up with that 100%, but I just had a 3 hour mid-term the other day that I was freaking out over a bit, internally. I finished an hour early, before the rest of the class, and I know I at least passed (possibly did well even). Yet I felt I was prepared enough and had to guess on some questions. Maybe you're not as unprepared as you think.
Agent Cooper
Member
absolutely hate that i was a total mess sunday and monday.
i never wanted to feel like that ever again.
i'm pretty sure i apologized to bagels like six billion times.
i appreciate the heck outta that dude.
i never wanted to feel like that ever again.
i'm pretty sure i apologized to bagels like six billion times.
i appreciate the heck outta that dude.
DJ Lushious
Member
I don't know how old you are, but I feel ya on that one. I'm turning 32 next week and I am feeling like all hope is lost for me.
I am tired of being alone. I've been alone for most of my life. I've had enough.
Cameron122
Member
I have a very difficult exam coming up in an hour. Not ready :I
I work in the tele-banking department of a branch as a personal banker and usually we just take calls from customers calling in need of help/information/whatever, but now they're having us doing sales calls to push credit cards and they want us to throw in a pitch for credit cards and lines of credit in as many calls as possible. I can't believe it. This job just got worse. I'm now a telemarketer. Just shoot me.
User 100115
Banned
Let me stop you right there, Fiction. I love you to death, but unless the lady in question is from another planet, I'm going to be surprised if she has much of anything in common with you.
You are a rather...unique..lady.
<3
User 100115
Banned
Happy Birthday Colin. <3
Agent Cooper
Member
dear colin,
happy birthday.
stay cute.
signed,
noah
happy birthday.
stay cute.
signed,
noah
CheesecakeRecipe
Stormy Grey
Happy Birthday Colindude!
Darkmakaimura
Can You Imagine What SureAI Is Going To Do With Garfield?
I turned forty a little less than a month ago.
Lionheart1827
Member
Happy bday Colin! Have a good one buddy!
Agent Cooper
Member
Courage is not having the strength to go on, it is going on when you dont have the strength. Theodore Roosevelt
As I mentioned in the IRC, happy birthday Colin.
Test went okay - but Im 95% things have gone south. I don't know. It's just annoying since I don't really know what to do and I'm pretty ticked at myself right now.
The thing with being comfortable (with a therapist) is that its been like 6 years of trying to find someone good.
Hey guy, not everything works out initially- especially therapy. It can take a while to find someone you are comfortable with or who approaches things in a way that works for you.
Are you entirely sure things have gone south with that girl? IIRC, you said yourself you have anxiety over things rather heavily. Is there a chance the situation can be salvaged and maybe you're just worrying about it too much? If not, I wouldn't worry too much. You're young and she was especially. It takes "trial" relationships like this, around your age in particular, to find out what's right for you, what isn't, why and why not.
I know you cared about this girl but she might have her mind elsewhere when it comes to life and the idea of a serious relationship in it. There will be others and you'll learn from all of them until the right one comes along. :3
As for your test- I don't know what's up with that 100%, but I just had a 3 hour mid-term the other day that I was freaking out over a bit, internally. I finished an hour early, before the rest of the class, and I know I at least passed (possibly did well even). Yet I felt I was prepared enough and had to guess on some questions. Maybe you're not as unprepared as you think.
Test went okay - but Im 95% things have gone south. I don't know. It's just annoying since I don't really know what to do and I'm pretty ticked at myself right now.
The thing with being comfortable (with a therapist) is that its been like 6 years of trying to find someone good.
Watched a documentary for my psych class on "big pharma" and how ridiculous drug prices are killing people. Totally crushing; at the end a Honduran boy suffering from HIV and a multitude of other infections dies while being transported to hospital. He didn't have to die. (He died because Pfizer wanted $30/pill for one of his illnesses.) Life really is unfair. Reminded me of why I want to be a doctor and work/research in pharmaceutical stuff as well, but I know I'll never get there. Sadness amplified, and I think I'm beginning to develop a new series of OCD-esque thoughts (never was diagnosed with OCD, but from a period of about July 2011 - January 2012 I had to battle intrusive thoughts any time I was awake pretty much). Feeling physically ill right now (not flu/cold sick, but nausea/anxiety) and I just want it to be over. Everything.
Anyway, happy birthday Colin.!
Anyway, happy birthday Colin.!
Hey Windam, I hope tomorrow you feel a bit better. I'm sorry I haven't gotten to your resume proper yet. I just finished a mid term the other day, which I was focusing a lot of my time on. That and trying too balance other things in my life. PM me if you wanna chat about anything in particular? :3
Cameron122
Member
No one IRL cares about me
im so tired
im so tired
Same advice as writing a mystery: start with the ending and work backwards. That way, your first page, the one that gets the most scrutiny (and in many cases the only page read) will have your most practiced and confident text.
No one IRL cares about me
im so tired
Same here. I know a lot of people, have a lot of "friends", but what it really means is I know different names. Nothing more. No one really gives a crap about me, and only remember I exist when they need something.
User 100115
Banned
No one IRL cares about me
im so tired
I wish I lived closer to you so I could prove you wrong.
I wish I lived closer to you so I could prove you wrong.
You *do* live relatively close to me
edit: or don't you? I thought you were in WA.
smokeandmirrors
Banned
It's great how small things like knowing you're doing better than you thought you were in a class can make things marginally better.
Two grades, an assignment (85) and a 'midterm quiz' (80). This class is hard too so I am super please. Something finally goes right.
Two grades, an assignment (85) and a 'midterm quiz' (80). This class is hard too so I am super please. Something finally goes right.
User 100115
Banned
You *do* live relatively close to me
edit: or don't you? I thought you were in WA.
I was in WA! I am now JUST across the border in Oregon
But still, I am likely pretty close.You *do* live relatively close to me
edit: or don't you? I thought you were in WA.
Fiction, you and I are the Washingtonians of D-Gaf.
... well, Fiction used to be, at least.
User 100115
Banned
Fiction, you and I are the Washingtonians of D-Gaf.
... well, Fiction used to be, at least.
I still count!
I just have to erm, step across the river is all.
Sidenote: As a desert girl, god damn, that is a freakin' river.
Cameron122
Member
138
Dunno if I should sleep or watch Babylon 5 lol
Dunno if I should sleep or watch Babylon 5 lol
whiterabbit
Member
Feeling pretty down. Thanks for being there GAF.
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