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[depths20XX]

Can someone talk about what's it like on medication? Like what did it change and so forth, positives and negatives? I'm thinking about going to the metal health clinic, which I've been putting off for years.

Personally I've only tried Wellbutrin. I kind of went with it because my mom said it helped her and it didn't have the sexual side effects. Ultimately it didn't work for me and they had upped me to the max dosage of like 300mg or something, which started giving me tremors in my hand and legs. Unfortunately finding what works for you is a process of dealing with terrible side effects when first taking them and possibly when coming off of them. Something I'd rather not do again.

 

[Zeyphersan]

I'm in a pretty bad state right now, but looking back at the last four months and feeling myself slip, and even before that, I can't help but be somewhat fascinated by the process of just complete degradation.

It just absolutely sucks to know what's happening, to try and get ahead of it but still completely fail and end up right back where you were. Being aware of things doesn't make it better, but feeling like an empty shell and knowing what's happening is just strange. Before, I was just depressed and didn't really know it. I have the understanding to a degree of what's happening, but I just feel powerless to stop it, and that just fucking blows.

Especially the constant lying I have to do to my family. I live at home and constantly lying to their face that I'm alright (they have no idea about the depression side of things, only the ADHD). I feel like a fraud, well I've always felt like a fraud but that's another story for a different day.

Hey, I don't want to dig up some stuff from you, but what was the diagnosis process for your ADHD like? Was it as a kid or adult? I'm navigating this all alone

 

[Bounceounce]

Almost hung myself last night, really trying not to jump off of this bridge right now.
Not sure if posting these type of comments in this thread is constructive or bannable behavior, if so then please delete.

 

[Astral Dog]

Almost hung myself last night, really trying not to jump off of this bridge right now.
Not sure if posting these type of comments in this thread is constructive or bannable behavior, if so then please delete.

Please don't despair. at least tell us whats going on.

 

[Jombie]

Almost hung myself last night, really trying not to jump off of this bridge right now.
Not sure if posting these type of comments in this thread is constructive or bannable behavior, if so then please delete.

Please, don't. I implore you to seek help immediately.

 

[How About No]

Almost hung myself last night, really trying not to jump off of this bridge right now.
Not sure if posting these type of comments in this thread is constructive or bannable behavior, if so then please delete.

I'm sorry you're going through that man

Do you know anybody personally you can talk to? Being alone in silence is maybe the worst thing for you right now

 

[Bounceounce]

Thanks for the comments, I'm good, didn't do it, I chickened out.
I need to type out how I feel tomorrow so I can really evaluate my feelings and options before I make this decision if I decide too, my thoughts are too jumbled.

 

[depths20XX]

Thanks for the comments, I'm good, didn't do it, I chickened out.
I need to type out how I feel tomorrow so I can really evaluate my feelings and options before I make this decision if I decide too, my thoughts are too jumbled.

Please always remember that things can change the next day. Not even the next day, even in a second, in an encounter with a new person, in a new opportunity. I know this may not mean much but I want you to hold on as long as you can. Life will surprise you sometimes even in the darkest of places.

 

[RuinerPrime]

Depression has become so ingrained in how I see myself I don't even know how ill be without it. I even have a short hand with my GF, she'll ask "how are you feeling" and ill say "I'm foggy" or "fog is comin" yep...my depression has a pet name. so lame.

 

[TheLostBigBoss]

Hey, I don't want to dig up some stuff from you, but what was the diagnosis process for your ADHD like? Was it as a kid or adult? I'm navigating this all alone

Adult, was only diagnosed around a year ago.

But it's more than obvious I had symptoms and negative effects from it through my childhood (Mainly middle school and high school)

 

[Dawg]

Is it normal to feel kinda... uhm... bad if you forget to take your meds once? On 100mg zoloft here. Feeling kinda like before I took the meds because I forgot to take them last night. At work now.

 

[A Fish Aficionado]

Is it normal to feel kinda... uhm... bad if you forget to take your meds once? On 100mg zoloft here. Feeling kinda like before I took the meds because I forgot to take them last night. At work now.

Depends on the person, but yes. Mostly on SSNRIs and older tricyclics, but some people do show withdrawal symptoms by missing an SSRI dose.

 

[olore]

Sertralin/Zoloft changed my whole life. Please seek help if you feel off

 

[Menthuss]

Is it normal to feel kinda... uhm... bad if you forget to take your meds once? On 100mg zoloft here. Feeling kinda like before I took the meds because I forgot to take them last night. At work now.

A colleague of mine did the same thing recently and it messed him up really bad. Took him like 3 weeks before he could come back to work again and even then only for like 50% for the first week after that.

 

[Widdle Puppy]

I have a very serious problem with spending money and shopping. I think in the future I may have to declare bankruptcy if I don't get it under control. It is like an addiction.

I'm not sure how to even begin to address this.

can I please be given some help here? What should I do.

 

[How About No]

I have a very serious problem with spending money and shopping. I think in the future I may have to declare bankruptcy if I don't get it under control. It is like an addiction.

I'm not sure how to even begin to address this.

can I please be given some help here? What should I do.

Put larger portions of your paycheck into savings, don't use credit cards. Make your money as inconvenient as possible to use.

I'm not much for advice on that since I'm not the wisest spender either lol. But if your fearing financial ruin over it then it sounds serious

 

[Zeyphersan]

Adult, was only diagnosed around a year ago.

But it's more than obvious I had symptoms and negative effects from it through my childhood (Mainly middle school and high school)

How did you go about getting diagnosed?

 

[shawnbuddy]

Thanks for the comments, I'm good, didn't do it, I chickened out.
I need to type out how I feel tomorrow so I can really evaluate my feelings and options before I make this decision if I decide too, my thoughts are too jumbled.

Typing it out will definitely help you better understand it. It forces you to order chaotic thoughts.

 

[TheLostBigBoss]

How did you go about getting diagnosed?

I actually forget the first time. But I went to a local neurological practice and had basically a quick 20 minute test after rounds of questions about my medical history, what it was like growing up, parents history and the sorts.

The second time around when I was getting diagnosed with depression and was given a referral from my schools wellness center to a psychiatric. It was more of just my history growing up and questions about what it's like now, if I've ever had similar incidents and such. I was basically re-diagnosed with ADHD and added on with Major Moderate depression.

There was a more longer test that lasts around 4 or 5 hours that really nails down ones ADHD and it basically is a more proper diagnosis that crafts tools to better deal with it, but I never got around to doing it (but I plan to this summer)

 

[Zeyphersan]

I actually forget the first time. But I went to a local neurological practice and had basically a quick 20 minute test after rounds of questions about my medical history, what it was like growing up, parents history and the sorts.

The second time around when I was getting diagnosed with depression and was given a referral from my schools wellness center to a psychiatric. It was more of just my history growing up and questions about what it's like now, if I've ever had similar incidents and such. I was basically re-diagnosed with ADHD and added on with Major Moderate depression.

There was a more longer test that lasts around 4 or 5 hours that really nails down ones ADHD and it basically is a more proper diagnosis that crafts tools to better deal with it, but I never got around to doing it (but I plan to this summer)

Thanks for the info, I'll poke around.

 

[pixelation]

Birthday is coming up, and i'd love for my present to be sweet non-existence.

 

[mewmew42]

Need some clarity and resources around these 3 themes please

1. Anxiety

2. Stress

3. Depression

Just got professional feedback that my stress and anxiety is high.

Very grateful that depression is out of the way for now, hope no relapse.

So how to best deal with anxiety and stress, what apps to download which youtube channel best for resources.

 

[Astral Dog]

I don't know how to live anymore.days become blurry memories,one year seems like a month now,anxiety always about the meaningless future and innocuous helping activities like going to the gym,running or swimming at the pool go from fun excercises to existential dreads in a moment as i look into this disgusting body i feel ashamed im even there.i don't even recognize myself anymore i haven't looked at a mirror in years all i see is a shapeless blob full of blemishes and marks.

Sorry if this sounds pathetic but life im tired,i know you are supposed to feel worth deep inside you but sometimes i simply cán't. Worthless without my family,worthless by myself.worthless to society im just a piece of trash.

And still,life can be wonderful from time to time its weird.😢

 

[Kickz]

Need some clarity and resources around these 3 themes please

1. Anxiety

2. Stress

3. Depression

Just got professional feedback that my stress and anxiety is high.

Very grateful that depression is out of the way for now, hope no relapse.

So how to best deal with anxiety and stress, what apps to download which youtube channel best for resources.

I deal with it by eating shit food, ie fastfood.

Probably only masking it, and I dont recommend it, but it works

 

[CortexVortex]

Within the next week or so I will move out of my old place. Which means that I won't be living together with my ex anymore.
For the past few days I was actually looking forward to it and all the new possibilities (I might even start development of my first game in a long time).
But today I'm a crying mess again. As I packed lots of things in boxes I saw all these beautiful things she once gave me.
She was so perfect. Sweet, funny, sexy and so much fun to be around. Now, I'd love to postpone the move and just stay here a little bit longer... watch one more movie together with her... or something. I don't know but being alone scares the shit out of me.

I thought things were getting better but now I'm back in my terrible mood

 

[Dawg]

Seems like yesterday was only the beginning. Been feeling like utter crap today. Anxiety returned for the first time in like a year. It's weird to feel like this again. It's hard to believe this is because I just missed a dose or two over the past week or so... but it's the only thing I can think of. I honestly thought I was over all this anxiety and overthinking everything but clearly I am not.

I think about everything I do. I doubt everything. Intrusive thoughts every single second. Don't want to do anything at all. Just want some peace inside of my head again. If this is anything like the episode I had early last year... it will take me like a full month to get over it. Or longer.

Just so tired of this shit always returning in the end. I honestly feel crazy. I was doing so good too these past few months. Felt like I made some real progress... and now all those old thoughts just returned all together.

It's crazy to think just two days ago I was still feeling happy, didn't even think twice about anything. And now it's all back.

 

[H1PSTER]

Welp.

May 8th calls the start of this year's mental health awareness week in the UK and I figured I'd share a new discovery about myself with all of you.

I've been a long time sufferer of depression since my early teens and after saying how I feel to certain people, it was only ever responded with ”You're too young to be depressed." and ”No you're not." For me the depression tends to come in huge bursts, for example I feel totally fine now but I know certain dates will affect me the most but it'll often strike randomly... So I decided to self-refer myself to a therapist for this, and in April and I was diagnosed with Post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD). My therapist explained to me that this was hugely due to childhood trauma (No you don't have to be a soldier to get PTSD!) and that because of my diagnosis of Asperger's she wasn't sure if ”stage one" treatment would help me, so I was referred to a ”stage two" centre where a team of people will be looking to help me. This is because my Asperger's acts as a ”buffer" for the PTSD and supresses some of it, but we need to unwind it and figure out the best type of therapy for me so I can learn coping mechanisms for the rest.

When I was younger I was diagnosed with a myriad of things ranging from ADHD, Asperger's and ODD to subclinical epilepsy... Three of those can be explained/confused by and with PTSD and I used to ignore three of them and just say I have Asperger's but upon learning this new thing about myself, the PTSD will be noticed alongside the Asperger's.

So how does the PTSD affect me? Well mainly the people that have abused or hurt me, you'll notice me having an extremely short fuse with them and often in simple conversations I'll get angry and frustrated with them for next to no reason... Simply because they abused/wronged me in the past and I subconsciously think that they'll do it again. It also manifests itself with friends too, if you do something wrong I'll often give you three chances and then if you do it again I'll cut you out, this is partially due to the Asperger's but mainly the PTSD. Other things such as me having a bad memory, auditory hallucinations, trouble concentrating and my depression are all linked to the PTSD. I tend to have a very ”don't give a fuck" attitude, this is just the Asperger's rather than the PTSD though.

Your mental health is important and I've had therapy in the past, but it wasn't the time for me to open up. Now I'm 26 I felt that it was, never feel shame for needing a therapist and if your current one isn't working find another! Therapy is like a jigsaw and if one form/person does not work you just have to find another.

It is never a failure to have anxiety, depression or any kind of mental disability – some people just need help and as stubborn as I am, I am one of those people who do need help with certain aspects of my life.

I am lucky enough that my local GP building has access to mental health care, perhaps yours does too – it never hurts to ask and it is never too late to ask.

You can go to this website to find your local mental health service too:
http://www.nhs.uk/Service-Search/Mental-health-information-and-support/LocationSearch/330

If you've read all of this, thank you – you are awesome and don't forget that.

H1PSTER

 

[Kinsei]

I'm done with everything.

I really wish it wasn't so hard to get a gun around here.

 

[Astral Dog]

Yesterday was a bit turing and i feel down,there are lot of these weird discussions that don't go anywhere with my parents im not sure what to say anymore. Not only it was the daily i look old,fat,fucked up and not decent stuff but also they want more grandchildren because babies and apparently im the only one of our siblings capable of doing it.

Anyways i decided to not have children long ago because i don't even know what to do with myself let alone raising a kid they tell me im worse than a dog and will end up alone like my aunt and uncle,insulting them too.

I know someday im gonna die like a dog but wish for now we have bwtter conversations.

 

[Menthuss]

Yesterday was a bit turing and i feel down,there are lot of these weird discussions that don't go anywhere with my parents im not sure what to say anymore. Not only it was the daily i look old,fat,fucked up and not decent stuff but also they want more grandchildren because babies and apparently im the only one of our siblings capable of doing it.

Anyways i decided to not have children long ago because i don't even know what to do with myself let alone raising a kid they tell me im worse than a dog and will end up alone like my aunt and uncle,insulting them too.

I know someday im gonna die like a dog but wish for now we have bwtter conversations.

I'm really sorry to hear that. That sounds like a really toxic environment to be in. Do they actually talk to you like that on a daily basis? I'd seriously think about cutting off all contact if my parents did that. Do you live at home or on your own?

Need some clarity and resources around these 3 themes please

1. Anxiety

2. Stress

3. Depression

Just got professional feedback that my stress and anxiety is high.

Very grateful that depression is out of the way for now, hope no relapse.

So how to best deal with anxiety and stress, what apps to download which youtube channel best for resources.

- Try to focus on your hobbies and/or try to find some new hobbies.
- Exercise! It makes you feel better and it's healthy for you

Is it general anxiety you're dealing with or is it specifically related to something?

 

[Megalosaro]

Man.
My roommate went in on me last night.
On the same night that I’m getting ready to say good bye to my parents, my best friend decides is it is the right time to go in on me about how I’m a piece of -- that is holding him back. And how my circle of friends think I’m a joke because I make half as much as them and I’m not doing anything to improve my situation. No one wants to tell me anything because they’re afraid I’m going to cry.
He then said I had no right messing around with a girl, because I have nothing to offer, except being “kind”. That if was so inclined he could come in and take over. Imagine what a person who doesn’t know or like me could do. That I’m incapable of defending myself. He said I’m “playing house”
He then proceeded to look up a girl I used to be into and said he’s going to hit her up.
I mean, I guess he was trying to motivate me, but he was ruthless

I took it like a bitch. Just sat there and didn’t say anything. It sucked. Didn’t try to defend myself. Just sat there.
The issue isn’t just that he is my roommate, he’s my best friend. So his words sting even more.
Usually he’s pretty positive. But last night he was vicious. I’ve cut out a lot of the more toxic people in my life. The ones that judged me and thought they were above me. I didn’t think he was one of them. I guess it’s not hard when I’m making 17/hr and he’s making 36.
This pay rate dick measuring that a lot of my college friends got into sucks. It’s sort of hard to feel like a man sometimes

 

[Puck Beaverton]

You need to punch that guy in the face. I'm being sincere, fuck him and fuck the rest of your so called friends.

 

[Via Purifico]

Man.
My roommate went in on me last night.
On the same night that I'm getting ready to say good bye to my parents, my best friend decides is it is the right time to go in on me about how I'm a piece of -- that is holding him back. And how my circle of friends think I'm a joke because I make half as much as them and I'm not doing anything to improve my situation. No one wants to tell me anything because they're afraid I'm going to cry.
He then said I had no right messing around with a girl, because I have nothing to offer, except being ”kind". That if was so inclined he could come in and take over. Imagine what a person who doesn't know or like me could do. That I'm incapable of defending myself. He said I'm ”playing house"
He then proceeded to look up a girl I used to be into and said he's going to hit her up.
I mean, I guess he was trying to motivate me, but he was ruthless

I took it like a bitch. Just sat there and didn't say anything. It sucked. Didn't try to defend myself. Just sat there.
The issue isn't just that he is my roommate, he's my best friend. So his words sting even more.
Usually he's pretty positive. But last night he was vicious. I've cut out a lot of the more toxic people in my life. The ones that judged me and thought they were above me. I didn't think he was one of them. I guess it's not hard when I'm making 17/hr and he's making 36.
This pay rate dick measuring that a lot of my college friends got into sucks. It's sort of hard to feel like a man sometimes

They're pathetic worthless pieces of shit.
They haven't got out of HS in their brains they sound worse than kids who thinks they know what being an adult is.

Fuck those people, they're not your friends none of them. I should add he was not trying to motivate you he was trying to rile you up for a reaction.

 

[shawnbuddy]

Man.
My roommate went in on me last night.
On the same night that I’m getting ready to say good bye to my parents, my best friend decides is it is the right time to go in on me about how I’m a piece of -- that is holding him back. And how my circle of friends think I’m a joke because I make half as much as them and I’m not doing anything to improve my situation. No one wants to tell me anything because they’re afraid I’m going to cry.
He then said I had no right messing around with a girl, because I have nothing to offer, except being “kind”. That if was so inclined he could come in and take over. Imagine what a person who doesn’t know or like me could do. That I’m incapable of defending myself. He said I’m “playing house”
He then proceeded to look up a girl I used to be into and said he’s going to hit her up.
I mean, I guess he was trying to motivate me, but he was ruthless

I took it like a bitch. Just sat there and didn’t say anything. It sucked. Didn’t try to defend myself. Just sat there.
The issue isn’t just that he is my roommate, he’s my best friend. So his words sting even more.
Usually he’s pretty positive. But last night he was vicious. I’ve cut out a lot of the more toxic people in my life. The ones that judged me and thought they were above me. I didn’t think he was one of them. I guess it’s not hard when I’m making 17/hr and he’s making 36.
This pay rate dick measuring that a lot of my college friends got into sucks. It’s sort of hard to feel like a man sometimes

That's not the kind of thing a friend does.

 

[Menthuss]

Man.
My roommate went in on me last night.
On the same night that I'm getting ready to say good bye to my parents, my best friend decides is it is the right time to go in on me about how I'm a piece of -- that is holding him back. And how my circle of friends think I'm a joke because I make half as much as them and I'm not doing anything to improve my situation. No one wants to tell me anything because they're afraid I'm going to cry.
He then said I had no right messing around with a girl, because I have nothing to offer, except being ”kind". That if was so inclined he could come in and take over. Imagine what a person who doesn't know or like me could do. That I'm incapable of defending myself. He said I'm ”playing house"
He then proceeded to look up a girl I used to be into and said he's going to hit her up.
I mean, I guess he was trying to motivate me, but he was ruthless

I took it like a bitch. Just sat there and didn't say anything. It sucked. Didn't try to defend myself. Just sat there.
The issue isn't just that he is my roommate, he's my best friend. So his words sting even more.
Usually he's pretty positive. But last night he was vicious. I've cut out a lot of the more toxic people in my life. The ones that judged me and thought they were above me. I didn't think he was one of them. I guess it's not hard when I'm making 17/hr and he's making 36.
This pay rate dick measuring that a lot of my college friends got into sucks. It's sort of hard to feel like a man sometimes

That's not the kind of thing a friend does.

This. I guess a best friend can be a bit more harsh in order to get a point across but this guy just sounds like a total dick and not worth your time. I'd tell you to completely cut him out of your life but that'd be a bit difficult considering he's your roommate. You could tell him that what he said really hurt you but I have feeling he's the type of guy who would just respond with "lol, gay"...

 

[Astral Dog]

I'm really sorry to hear that. That sounds like a really toxic environment to be in. Do they actually talk to you like that on a daily basis? I'd seriously think about cutting off all contact if my parents did that. Do you live at home or on your own?

i live at home and im very close to them.looking at going this year close to my sister as she studies in a city.if everything goes well.

Its not always bad as they stop paying attention from time to time and they care but its a bit complicated with my mood down.

 

[Megalosaro]

This. I guess a best friend can be a bit more harsh in order to get a point across but this guy just sounds like a total dick and not worth your time. I'd tell you to completely cut him out of your life but that'd be a bit difficult considering he's your roommate. You could tell him that what he said really hurt you but I have feeling he's the type of guy who would just respond with "lol, gay"...

He wouldn't say "lol, gay". He'd say "you feel about about it? That's your problem. Get your shit together. Tough love."

 

[Menthuss]

He wouldn't say "lol, gay". He'd say "you feel about about it? That's your problem. Get your shit together. Tough love."

Yeah, that about lines up with my image of him. I don't know your "friend" but based on what you said I'd say avoid him as much as you can. People that treat you like that aren't worth your time.

 

[Via Purifico]

It's not tough love it's being an asshole and trying to guise it as tough love.
Just admit you're a piece of shit, I might not have much respect for you but at least you own that you're a trash person.

But when people think they're right that's not possible.

If you need us to talk feel free our inboxes are open, mine too.

This goes for you too Sub Boss.

 

[jb1234]

Man.
My roommate went in on me last night.
On the same night that I’m getting ready to say good bye to my parents, my best friend decides is it is the right time to go in on me about how I’m a piece of -- that is holding him back. And how my circle of friends think I’m a joke because I make half as much as them and I’m not doing anything to improve my situation. No one wants to tell me anything because they’re afraid I’m going to cry.
He then said I had no right messing around with a girl, because I have nothing to offer, except being “kind”. That if was so inclined he could come in and take over. Imagine what a person who doesn’t know or like me could do. That I’m incapable of defending myself. He said I’m “playing house”
He then proceeded to look up a girl I used to be into and said he’s going to hit her up.
I mean, I guess he was trying to motivate me, but he was ruthless

I took it like a bitch. Just sat there and didn’t say anything. It sucked. Didn’t try to defend myself. Just sat there.
The issue isn’t just that he is my roommate, he’s my best friend. So his words sting even more.
Usually he’s pretty positive. But last night he was vicious. I’ve cut out a lot of the more toxic people in my life. The ones that judged me and thought they were above me. I didn’t think he was one of them. I guess it’s not hard when I’m making 17/hr and he’s making 36.
This pay rate dick measuring that a lot of my college friends got into sucks. It’s sort of hard to feel like a man sometimes

Someone's worth isn't judged by how much money they make. That's absurd. This "friend" is toxic to you, has been for years if he's the same dude you've mentioned in other threads and you need to remove him from your life.

 

[Cth]

I'm stressing out right now big time.

For the past 9 years or so, I was unemployed/underemployed and finally obtained a full time job about a year and a half ago.

I've since applied for a new job, went through tons of hoops in 2 months, narrowed down the field from 149 applicants to the final 3. I nailed the interviews, know someone on the team already, etc.

They made the offer to me and I'm putting in 2 week notice tomorrow, but I'm paranoid that something is going to happen. I have the worlds worst luck and I can't get this close to something only for things to fall apart.

I'd hate to let down my girlfriend, my daughter, my family. I'm so poor that I can barely provide for all of them. And this job pays three times what I'm making -- more than I've ever had.

I just hate the feeling in my gut right now, I wish I could let go of it and stop expecting the worst.

I'm sorry, it's been a while since I've stopped by the thread and just need to get it out.. if this falls apart though, I just can't get so close to things finally going right for once.

Sorry, just needing to vent.. think kind thoughts if you could spare any. They'd be greatly appreciated

 

[2Smashed4U]

Man.
My roommate went in on me last night.
On the same night that I’m getting ready to say good bye to my parents, my best friend decides is it is the right time to go in on me about how I’m a piece of -- that is holding him back. And how my circle of friends think I’m a joke because I make half as much as them and I’m not doing anything to improve my situation. No one wants to tell me anything because they’re afraid I’m going to cry.
He then said I had no right messing around with a girl, because I have nothing to offer, except being “kind”. That if was so inclined he could come in and take over. Imagine what a person who doesn’t know or like me could do. That I’m incapable of defending myself. He said I’m “playing house”
He then proceeded to look up a girl I used to be into and said he’s going to hit her up.
I mean, I guess he was trying to motivate me, but he was ruthless

I took it like a bitch. Just sat there and didn’t say anything. It sucked. Didn’t try to defend myself. Just sat there.
The issue isn’t just that he is my roommate, he’s my best friend. So his words sting even more.
Usually he’s pretty positive. But last night he was vicious. I’ve cut out a lot of the more toxic people in my life. The ones that judged me and thought they were above me. I didn’t think he was one of them. I guess it’s not hard when I’m making 17/hr and he’s making 36.
This pay rate dick measuring that a lot of my college friends got into sucks. It’s sort of hard to feel like a man sometimes

I probably would've caved his face in, so you handled it better than I would have.

Fuck that guy. Remove him from your life as much as possible. You're worth more as a person that what that lowlife has to offer.

 

[brianjones]

jesus christ dude.. that is not your friend

is he by chance a berkeley republican

 

[Booker Dewitt]

So I shaved my beard for the first time since June of last year. I used to do it every couple of months as a way to "reset the clock," since I'm not a huge fan of my face, but even with my faceplate I'd get tired of it. A safe way of self harm would be the shitty way to describe it maybe, don't know.

I'd usually get a few days feeling like a idiot, but a break from feeling like straight shit. Only managed a couple hours.

 

[Megalosaro]

jesus christ dude.. that is not your friend

is he by chance a berkeley republican

No. He's actually pretty liberal

 

[neojubei]

Sometimes I think I checked off all the wrong things in life while others seem to have better luck. I could die now and no more pain love happiness sadness. No more being ugly or fat tired unattractive sick. Gone in an instant. Drop in the ocean for the forgotten.

 

[Dawg]

I'm angry because I don't know what to do. I can't even remember the last time I felt this bad. I was doing so good for a full year too.

The worst part is that I made tons of plans because I was feeling normal before last saturday. And now I feel like I don't want to do any of the things I planned. And some of my friends notice I'm acting a bit different too. I can't blame them, I can barely believe it myself how much my thoughts and general mood can change so much in the timespan of a few days.

The worst part is that I've had bad periods before but they almost all happened because I forgot to take my meds. With the exception of a day or two I forgot to take them in the last two weeks, I can't imagine what caused this change in my behaviour. It honestly feels like I am on zero meds right now, that's how bad it feels. It's like nothing is suppressing my bad thoughts anymore. And yet... I am on 100mg sertraline.

I wanted to tell my doctor about it this morning but I felt so bad that I couldn't get out of bed that early. Despite being awake. I just stayed in bed until it was time to go working. So I just skipped my appointment. Which I kinda regret.

To give you an idea of how bad today was: I had to think about suicide all day at work just to make it through the day. That's how awful it was.

I just feel so passive right now, like I'm not really living anymore. When people ask me something, I answer. But I don't want to initiate anything. I feel insane. People around me at work are just going about their normal lives. If only they knew what I was going through....

I can't even explain what my main problems are. And I can't explain why I can't explain. All I know is how I feel. And it ain't good.

 

[TangerineCloud]

Oof. Got some real bad news today. My grades for one of the classes I need to take in order to get into my desired program at my university are not good right now. My chances at getting in aren't completely shot, but I think I really undid a lot of the hard work I had put on last semester thanks to the depression from my break-up. I'm kinda scared, honestly. I was so close to getting in. Reaching this point was the culmination of 5 years of effort that I've been putting in since I withdrew from my first college due to my depression and anxiety. The idea that three months of sadness and lethargy could undo all that... It makes me sick with fear.

That said, I'm not gonna give in to despair just yet. I've already made an appointment with the professor. I'm going to do my best learn from and rectify the mistakes I've made this semester. I'm not gonna let the loss of one girl (who wasn't even that great in retrospect, tbh) fuck up the years of hard work I've been putting in.

I am getting into this fucking program if it's the last thing I do.

Don't know if anyone actually read this post I made a few months back, but I did it. I redeemed myself and was able to get into my school's graphic design program.

The beginning of this year was a nightmare for me, but I've really managed to turn things around. Here's hoping things continue to improve.

 

[CortexVortex]

Don't know if anyone actually read this post I made a few months back, but I did it. I redeemed myself and was able to get into my school's graphic design program.

The beginning of this year was a nightmare for me, but I've really managed to turn things around. Here's hoping things continue to improve.

Congrats dude! Keep rocking!

The day of my move is coming closer. I won't live with the girl of my dreams anymore (aka my ex) and I'm still scared shitless. I'm scared that I also lose my best friend (which is her) and that I won't be able to live on my own.
She was the only part about me I really liked and now I'm getting slowly back to my old self-destructive cuntish self. I fear that. one day, I will just get extremely waisted and jump in front of a train or something. Would be the fitting ending for a stupid shit like me.

I'm trying to convince myself that better times will come, even if it's unlikely that she will ever fall back in love with me. But to be honest, I'm struggling to give my life a new meaning. I don't think I want to love without her. I know that sounds stupid but she made happy for the first time in my life.
She was what I always wanted: cute, funny, smart, stupid sense of humor and sexy. I miss the feeling of kissing her, holding her and thinking of growing up together.
We're still friends (just yesterday we went to a burger place and had a nice time) but sometimes it hurts so much that I am not able to kiss her anymore. Worst thing is, that it was actually my fault. I failed to make her happy, to keep our love and passion alive. I was the guy from the "everything is fine" meme. Living in a bubble and convincing myself that everything will solve itself eventually. God, I'm such an idiot.

I will try to keep on moving somehow but it's hard and I don't know if I'm able to do so.

 

[Genghis Khan]

Hey everyone. I'm 24 years old and I'm very overweight. I weighed in today at 408 pounds. While extremely high, I started the year at 444 pounds. So I am making some progress, and my goal for the year is to lose 100 pounds. I've got until the end of June to lose 14 pounds to be on pace, and I think I'll definitely get there. I'm dieting and recently started incorporating some light exercise as the weather is finally nice enough. I'm working on it and feel good about it.

But man... I'm just feeling down. In October, my dad passed away due to cancer. Our relationship was always rocky, but it really hit me hard. Besides seeing my dad actually die (I was at the hospital holding his hand when he passed), he left behind my little sister, only 16 years old. One of the last things that my dad told me before going into the hospital was to take care of her and my mom. It's been seven months now, and man, it's been a rough go.

My life shook to its core because of my dad passing. For one, I had to drop out of school. I was one semester away from completing my masters and teacher certification tests, but I had to take care of him. My mom had to work to support us, and my dad needed to be wheelchaired to various doctors every day. I was supposed to be student teaching full time (8AM-3PM) M-F, as well as taking two other courses - there was no way I could do it, so it had to be put on hold. I'm still not back in school, because student teaching is only offered in the Fall semester at my University. So since he's passed, I've just been waiting, substitute teaching and helping my mom in every way I can.

But I've been feeling really low lately. I know I did the right thing, but I feel like life is passing me by. All of my friends are moving out and/or moving away. This past two weeks, I've found out three of my better friends are moving to China, North Carolina and New York City to take new jobs. My two other friends moved to a nearby city and are living together. Combine that with everyone else who has moved away, and... well, I'm kind of alone. I don't really have any friends that I see in my hometown anymore.

I'm just really down and I want to do cool, adventurous things too. But I don't see myself moving out or moving away any time soon. I feel like I need to stay here and help my mom until at least my sister is in college (two more years of high school).

I dunno, just needed to vent without making anyone feel bad.