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Meta GAF |ON| Gaf on Gaf

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I never use than. It's always then. I'm a lazy fuck.

t4gXOea.jpg
 

-Arcadia-

Banned
Never take yourself too seriously. That’s the road to becoming this:

o34EQe0.gif


You went overboard, made a mistake, and got a funny tag.

It’s not that big of a deal. I don’t think you understand how much people don’t read the tags, or care.

The only reason people are still talking about it, is because you keep bringing it up, lol.

In reality, a lot of people seem to like you, tag and all. Granted, it often accompanies a snide remark about your threads, but liking is liking. :messenger_tears_of_joy: The PC part threads over on gaming are a really good contribution too. You remind me of Weilthain in terms of having a rocket start from unknown member to popular member.

Why not just take the win? You have two choices in life. You can be a screecher, or you can be an Australian. Be an Australian.
 

nush

Member
Where did this trend even come from, lol? I’ve never seen so many wanna-be insiders in my life. I can’t imagine waking up, and wanting to post a bunch of ridiculous next-gen console fan-fiction for imaginary cred.

I was allowed to visit the Xbox factory in China last week. I went to the production lines and there are a lot of robots being used because most of the workers got the conona virus so they are sick. The robots look a bit like the Nintendo ROB but they don't twist in the middle, just move thier arms back and forth to connect some chips into the new Xboxes. I tried to talk to the robots but they could not understand me as they only spoke Chinese. Microsoft were lucky that they found some Chinese pople in Africa that did not get sick from the virus so they brought them to the Xbox factory to work. These workers are protected in sealed bubble suits so they don't catch the virus. They won't die in these suits because they have one tube for breathing and another tube they can pour in some rice for when they are hungry.

Then I went up to the R&D floor to look at the new Xboxes and there's about 1000 people there playing the Xbox and testing it. It had a light hologram SSD that's top secret and also does 12K. Over in one of the corner offices I saw Bill Gates and Peter Moore, but they were in disguise wearing fake mustaches because nobody is supposed to know they are there. Peters supposed to be playing Football in England and Bill is supposed to be helping starving African kids or something. It was actually Bill that Microsoft called in Africa to ask if he had seen any healthy Chinese people there and if he could collect them and bring them to the factory to work. Microsoft needed Peter and Bill to make sure that the new Xbox had the most graphics because when they made those Xboxes they had the most graphics but when Xbox One was made they didn't help and Xbox One did not have enough graphics so lost the console war. I also saw Ken Kutaragi there walking around, he was helping out because he likes making consoles and was bored because Mark Cerney Makes Playstations now. So he's also secretly helping Microsoft as an FU to Sony for making him bored. But he didn't need to wear a disguise mustache because he looks Chinese anyway so nobody notices him.
Anyway Ken was there waiting for Hideo Kojima to arrive as he will be bringing some Metal Gear graphics to put inside the new Xbox, he's due to arrive this week. That's why MiyazakiHatesKojima MiyazakiHatesKojima is banned because he's secretly Hideo and only Evilore knows this, so everythime he needs to help on the new Xbox he gets pretend "Banned" because he's too busy to post.

So next they let me play some Halo 7! Halo Infinite isn't the real Sequel, they just made that quick to milk money from the fans. Halo 7 is the real deal, it's got all the guns and ships from the previous Halo games and you can play in space or ANY big city on Earth. It's got Master Chief in it and Master Chiefs son (Because he had a baby with Cortana) you can also play as Marcus Fenix. So I chose to have a quick go in San Francisco and I drove a Warthog up the Golden Gate bridge. Then I drove it off the top, but I landed on a ship. But there was nothing to shoot on the ship, so I dropped some bombs and blew up the ship and jumped off. I then swam to Alcatraz and if you have Marcus Fenix on your team he opens a secret door so you can get inside the prison. If you open the right prison cell you find Reptile from Mortal Kombat! You can play as him as well, except he does no use guns just punches and kicks and Mortal Kombat moves.

On the controller there is a touchscreen and on the screen there is Cortana telling you how many bullets you've got, where to go and where to get the achievements. But the best thing is, if you shake the controller her breasts bounce! So Frank O'Connor from 343 is there making sure all these Chinese testers are playing Halo 7 properly and not hacking it and he's getting mad that the testers just waste time making Cortanas breasts bounce instead of playing the game. So he comes over and is racist to them to make them play the game properly. But he's being racist in Scottish so they don't understand him, it's lucky for him otherwise they would have kung Fu'd him hard.

Following that I was taken to the home Theater department. New Xbox is the only console that can play 12k so Microsoft have made a deal with all the movie TV studios and will have exclusive all movies and TV shows in 12K and get a royalty payment from each one. The best part is that this means they will be so rich they can afford to give away a free 12k TV with every Xbox. Microsoft will have exclusive 12k content and nobody will buy a 12k TV from another manufacturer because Microsoft gives one away for free. They will announce this at E3.
So when I'm in the Theater department I see an early cut of Matrix 4 as they need to test if the movie looks good in 12k but there was a problem. All the other actors have aged except Keanu so Lana Wachowski is there and she's invited Kevin Feige to look at the problem and seeing if they can work out how to run Disneys De-aging tech in reverse to make Keanu look older because it looks like he's a young dude kissing a granny Carrie Anne Moss otherwise.
Over in the corner sound recording booth I spot Scarlett Johansson. The new Xbox can talk back to you now, where the Xbox One could only listen. So she's recording all the voices for the New Xbox as she's good at making a computer voice as she did that movie Her. Also they wanted the same voice for every dashboard language and she has to speak all the languages, she's really good as Asian languages. If you set your dashboard language to say Swedish, you'll actually hear Scarlett Johansson speaking Swedish. That's a pretty nice touch.

Anyway, let's keep this leak to ourselves GAF.
 

O-N-E

Member
You guys, it's time to drop the veil. This has gotten far too messy.

It is me.. the alt accounts. All of them. That was me. We are... O-N-E.

I grew disgusted with my first and most despicable child, haxan7 haxan7 , so now it's time to end the game.

Going forward, the key to each alt will be given to a different child across the world. Child soldiers, starving African toddlers, coronavirus babies. Be free, my little birds.

"au revoir, les enfants"
 

Rentahamster

Rodent Whores
For a split second, I thought you banned Elektro Demon so that he has to live with his alt instead, but then I realized that it says 2.0
 

Bigrx1

Banned
Do we have a megathread or any sort of meme thread for politics memes in politics? If not, do you think it would good to make one to keep the politics type messages out of say the pic megathread in off-topic? I dropped one in the pic megathread but have more and not sure where to put them.
 

Papa

Banned
Do we have a megathread or any sort of meme thread for politics memes in politics? If not, do you think it would good to make one to keep the politics type messages out of say the pic megathread in off-topic? I dropped one in the pic megathread but have more and not sure where to put them.

do it
 

Tesseract

Banned
Do we have a megathread or any sort of meme thread for politics memes in politics? If not, do you think it would good to make one to keep the politics type messages out of say the pic megathread in off-topic? I dropped one in the pic megathread but have more and not sure where to put them.
you want a fooking war m8
 

haxan7

Banned
You guys, it's time to drop the veil. This has gotten far too messy.

It is me.. the alt accounts. All of them. That was me. We are... O-N-E.

I grew disgusted with my first and most despicable child, haxan7 haxan7 , so now it's time to end the game.

Going forward, the key to each alt will be given to a different child across the world. Child soldiers, starving African toddlers, coronavirus babies. Be free, my little birds.

"au revoir, les enfants"
I may be despicable (I am), but I’m no alt.
 
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