WARNING : Long Dome City post so you might want to skip this if you aren't interested.
Scene from Dome City
voyeur erm security camera network
Margo empties another bottle of whisky into a pint glass and downs it in one go.
Margo : Ginny get your arse moving your whore of a father will be here in a minute to exercise his visitation rights.
Little Ginny : mummmm don't call daddy that, I like having two daddies.
Margo : damn kid, Dome City needs a children's workhouse.
Scene : Knock at the door, Margo opens the door and in comes Gerald.
Margo : Jesus Christ, Gerald are you wearing Estee lauder ?
Gerald : Now Margo don't start, Sebastian likes me smelling nice.
Margo : Don't you DARE mention that man whore's name in this house.
Gerald : He isn't a man whore and at least he makes me a damn sandwich.
Little Ginny comes running down the stairs.
Little Ginny : Hi daddyyyyyyyyyyyy.
Margo : my god girl I am not sure who is the biggest princess ? you or your father.
Little Ginny : MOM
Gerald : Come on Ginny we are leaving
Little Ginny : But dad where are we going ?
Gerald : Ginny we are going to ...................
DOME CITY FARM
Yes people Dome City farm has finally been completed and is ready for all Saturday dads to drag their kids too. A huge new purpose built dome specifically designed to allow people to "commune" with nature (i.e. get shit all over your shoes). Dome City farm is the NUMBER ONE attraction in Dome City (OK it is the only attraction but that isn't the point).
But wait there is more, not only does Dome City Farm provide you with the opportunity to bore your kids rigid it is also a vital part of the Mayors attempt to stave off the "Toe found in the Solyent green sandwich" controversy.
At Dome City Farm you can :-
Inspect and try out the mega harvester. This harvester is so big it is an affront to god himself. It has been said that if all three switches were activated at once then the great god ARK would descend upon us and go "Oi what the bloody hell is going on, cpu usage just shot up to 100%, are one of you no lifers running a mega harvester ?".
Why not check out Roche178's crazy whacky Mushroom pen with Mushroom cows that are so ugly they make Satan himself look cute. That is all assuming the Mayor hasn't killed them all because the damn things keep escaping and wandering around.
Just across from the abomination that is the mushroom field is this scary hidden house. Who lives there ? Everybody knows but it is more fun to pretend we don't. Some say it is a weird scientist developing a new form of water transport and late at night you can hear him banging away ........ and working on this water transport technology as well.
Then it is a short trip to the pig pen where you can go awwww, yum yum or phwooarrr depending on how you feel about pigs and how much of a deviant you are.
Whilst there why not visit the Mayor's new mansion (he's not rubbing it in honestly). Yes marvel at the multi-story decadent affront to all your suffering. You will ask yourself "how can the Mayor and Deputy Mayor live with themselves ?". Marvel at the monument to the creepers affectionately called "the Weeper". Yes a custom designed fountain by our Deputy Mayor, Professor CrazyLegzlu who seems to have got over his thing for animals but has developed an unhealthy fetish for creepers.
Lust after the individual solid gold thrones with diamond head rests and come to the realisation that "this is how the Mayor and Deputy Mayor can live with themselves".
Why not visit the immense library in the Mayor's mansion ? You will find an extensive collection of "Big Juicy Honking Domes Monthly" for your reading pleasure and not all of the pages are stuck together.
See the Kennels where the Mayors bitches live better than you and they probably deserve too as well.
Coming soon the People's Pussy Palace .... well that is what the Deputy Mayor wants to call it but we aren't all perv's like him so it is going to be called "Ocelot Oasis" the Cat Sanctuary.
Finally round off the day with a visit to the Mob/XP grinder. There you will find plenty of mobs to stab, disembowel, sweet talk or even throw your kids too because lets face it by the end of a day at Dome City Farm those kids are going to be driving you insane with "I'm bored" and "this is crap" and "I miss playing with my Wii".
Even Commander Jane Shepard took time out from battling the Reapers and shagging everything that moves to visit Dome City Farm.
Later that day :-
Little Ginny : well that was crap
Gerald : Yeah just a bit and I am sorry about what Sebastian got up to with that sheep it was really uncalled for.
Little Ginny : Yeah what was that all about ? was he trying to jump over the sheep from behind ?
Gerald : Erm Erm lets not talk about it.
Yep Dome City Farm is the place to be so come visit today but don't you dare get up to anything iffy with our sheep, the Deputy Mayor is the jealous type.
COMING SOON ....
Dome City Amusement Park, this is honest to god the last dome ........ well all right maybe one more after this with a jungle setting. But then that is it, honest it is really.