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NeoGAF Anonymous Confessions 2014 - Confessember Be Upon Us - Under New Management

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O

Orbis Tabula

Member
StaticJam said:
Next London GAF meetup: everybody.
Also I would kill to go to a GAF meetup even though nobody lives in Michigan apparently.
Click to expand...

The next London-GAF meetup needs to make a reference to this confession in the thread title. And then everyone in London will go to meet this girl. I want this to happen.
 
N

NotTheGuyYouKill

Member
HUELEN10 said:
Yep, I'm that guy OP:
5PzxoRe.png

Use it if you want.
Click to expand...

You're the guy?

Well, if everyone else wants a banner, I will put that banner in the OP. I serve at the will of the people.

Nice work though.
 
M

MattyG

Banned
StaticJam said:
Next London GAF meetup: everybody.
Also I would kill to go to a GAF meetup even though nobody lives in Michigan apparently.
Click to expand...
Same here. MaineGaf is probably too damn small for a meetup. I'm hoping I can go to PAX East this year so I can do that Gaf meetup.
 
N

NotTheGuyYouKill

Member
So my best friend has been doing a long distance thing with a girl for a long time because she lives out of state. During one of her visits we hit it off. She and I spent a few months flirting on the phone, sharing nudes, doing the dirty Skype thing but never in the flesh.

Few months ago I found out from a mutual friend of all of us that I trust that she has herpes. He moved to her area for work and had been snooping while at her place with a few of her friends and found her meds for it in the cabinet.

She came back for a visit here in town and didn't tell my buddy. I let him sleep with his herp-infested girlfriend because I knew if I told him she'd rat me out. He's none the wiser but I've since stopped talking to her just under the pretense of finding a conscience.
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You two deserve each other.

I'm trying to say that you deserve herpes.
 
B

B-Dubs

No Scrubs
NotTheGuyYouKill said:
You two deserve each other.

I'm trying to say that you deserve herpes.
Click to expand...

That ain't right dude, you should have come clean. Shit, you should have told the mutual friend to tell your buddy! You could have stayed out of him finding out all together if you had just thought it through.
 
M

MattyG

Banned
NotTheGuyYouKill said:
If a dog's dick is giant compared to yours, you got worse issues than that.
Click to expand...
Funny story that the confessor would like- Two of my friends and I were pulling an all-nighter a couple years ago, and we got bored so we decided to go on one of those random video chat sites (either Omegle or Chat Roulette) to just mess around. About an hour in, we click to the next person and there's this woman, probably 35 or 40, leaning on her kitchen counter, spreading her lips
not the facial variety
with her dog eating her out. She didn't react to our hysterical laughter, she just stared into the camera... into our souls. I don't think she broke eye contact the entire time.
 
A

Anustart

Member
If you ever get tired of reading depraved shit and dick pics, I will gladly take over the reins as successor. I thrive on disgusting.
 
N

NotTheGuyYouKill

Member
TLDR: Dude gives a massage to his cousin, but actually wants to bang her, but nothing happens.

So here's a little something.

A while ago I took a trip to a foreign country (won't say where) to visit my family on my mother's side. Was a mixture of fun and boredom, the latter didn't come until I started to visit/meet peers of my own age AKA my cousins, whom I never been in contact with before so it was all a new experience.

Two notable cousins of mine are female and foremost are fucking hot, one is direct cousin via my mom's sister and another one is once-removed, and both are around my age group of 18-22 (I'm 20 atm). So yeah they're hot but they're also fun to hang out with and originally I had that no-incest mojo going on and would just rather hand out with the famz all platonic-like, until the road trip happened.

This little story focuses on the direct-related cousin. Country I was visiting isn't known for their road infrastructure and it was ~5ish hour roadtrip in a van to go up to from the village to a city up in the mountains. Four rows: I sat in the very back and my cousin sat in the second row right in front of me; we were positioned against the far right side of the van against the side/door.

Anyways I get sleepy because its a fucking ~5 hour trip and I feel myself slump over and have my right hand palm against my cousin's right shoulder. At this point we've just essentially met and haven't talked, but I got this idea to tickle her, so I started to do the spider fingers on her neck. Turns out she wasn't ticklish, but instead she pressed her back on my fingers thus trapping them between her shoulder and the leather seat.

I attempted to gently/slowly pull my fingers out but they hooked onto her bra-strap. At this point I was like "Oh shit!" and just froze. But then an eternity lasting half a minute later she shrugged the right strap off. These turn of events initiated a war between a penis and mind within me, but eventually I gave in (sort of) and started to massage/caress her shoulder, which she seemed to react positively to as she used a pillow (we had alot of pillows to sleep through the roadtrip) to cover her shoulder and my hand.

So this lasted a good 30 minutes and I got tired so I slipped my hand away. Afterwards when we finally did talk to me it was that of a friendly cousin relationship, no mention of the road trip incident in either speech or body mannerisms.

Was weird, added her on Facebook before I left for the US. Wonder if I should bring it up...
Click to expand...

That was thoroughly underwhelming.
 
M

m_shortpants

Member
NotTheGuyYouKill said:
TLDR: Dude gives a massage to his cousin, but actually wants to bang her, but nothing happens.



That was thoroughly underwhelming.
Click to expand...

Marriage with first cousins is commonplace in many parts of the world. It's only a taboo here in the west. Supposedly it's not even bad in terms of child genetics either. Hey man, go for it.
 
N

NotTheGuyYouKill

Member
Alright! New rule! I'm not posting conspiracy theories involving NeoGAF members and moderators.

It's an internet message board. No one's out to get you. No one cares enough.
 
D

dani_dc

Member
NotTheGuyYouKill will grow into a hero like Ronito.
And then he'll slowly die a bit inside until nothing of his soul is left as well.

It's an never-ending cycle of sacrifice for others.
 
J

Jarate

Banned
NotTheGuyYouKill said:
Think of it like this: By the end, Ronito was a burnt out husk of a man with a thousand mile stare.

I'm the fresh recruit thrown into the meatgrinder. Watch me have character development.
Click to expand...

One thing I liked about Ronito is that he gave some pretty valid critiques and help after the posts. This might be a coping mechanism on your part, but Ronito took every blow as if they were his deranged patients. You just let the post be. We'll see what style begins to develop better
 
B

Blargonaut

Banned
NotTheGuyYouKill said:
Think of it like this: By the end, Ronito was a burnt out husk of a man with a thousand mile stare.

I'm the fresh recruit thrown into the meatgrinder. Watch me have character development.
Click to expand...

To OP,



I hath a proposition for you.

With your recent succession to the throne and acceptance of the onus of leadership, I offer my services as GIF acquisitor to potentially ease your new burden, and would swear my substantial image repository to thee.

ebP5hWB.gif


PM me if you require specific GIFs and/or response images for the... especially troubling pieces.

Our partnership would undoubtedly be fruitful.



Sined my pitty on the runnykine,

An Adoring Fan
 
M

marrec

Banned
NotTheGuyYouKill said:
Think of it like this: By the end, Ronito was a burnt out husk of a man with a thousand mile stare.

I'm the fresh recruit thrown into the meatgrinder. Watch me have character development.
Click to expand...
Hardest job in America? Being president.

Second hardest? GAF confessional thread curator.
 
DietRob

DietRob

i've been begging for over 5 years.
Oh goodie goodie. I feel like I've been waiting for this thread to come back for quite a while. Gonna have to read back a bit now.

edit: Thanks for carrying the torch NTGYK
 
N

NotTheGuyYouKill

Member
Hi. I'm in a long-distance LTR with a really adorable, sweet, and attractive girl. But a few weeks ago I began developing a crush on a girl in one of my classes. It makes me feel so guilty queasy, but I have to try hard not to think about this other girl.

:/
Click to expand...

How committed are you with Long Distance girl? I can understand why in her physical absence you're drawn to people close by.

Don't feel guilty about having a small crush, but... if you act on it, we're having a different discussion.
 
V

vikki

Member
If I had to choose any Pokemon? It'd probably be Jynx. At least I could pass her off as human at dinner parties.
 
X

Xpike

Unconfirmed Member
You're doing God's work, NTGYK, keep it up.

Also, smh at all these "friends" banging their bro's girlfriends.
 
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