I need Don Quick to weigh in on Galchenyuk vs. Yakityak
ALRIGHT ALRIGHT, OKAY LET'S GO.
NOW, YOU ALL KNOW HOW I FEEL ABOUT YAKITYYAKS AND EUROPEANS, BUT BOY DO I HAVE A BONE TO PICK WITH GULPCHINKYUCK LET ME TELL YOU.
NOW, THIS KID'S TEARIN' IT UP WITH THE CANADIENS, DOIN' ALRIGHT IN HIS SECOND SEASON AND ALL. BUT WHY DID THE CANADIENS DRAFT THIS KID? THE KID'S FATHER COMES FROM THE SOVIET UNION. EVERYONE KNOWS THEM SOVIETS CAN'T BE TRUSTED. HE'S GOT HIS KID PLAYIN' WITH SARNIA IN THE OHL, THEN WITH TEAM USA DOWN THERE, AND ALL OF A SUDDEN, THEM RUSKIES IN THE SOVIET ARE WINNIN' ALL OUR WORLD JUNIOR CHAMPIONSHIP GOLD. COINCIDENCE? I DON'T THINK SO. NO SIREE.
I CAN ALREADY SEE THIS KID DEFECT TO THE SOVIET UNION DURIN' THE OLYMPICS AND JOIN HIS COMRADES TO WIN THE GOLD AGAIN AFTER FEEDIN' 'EM CANADIAN AND AMERICAN SECRETS. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED, COMRADE.
YOU KNOW WHO WOULDN'T DEFECT? BOBBY ORR.
LET ME TELL YOU A STORY KIDS: I WAS IN THE BATHROOM WASHIN' MY HANDS, WHEN I SAW THAT GOLLYCHENNIK KID IN THE BATHROOM STALL - NOW, THESE DIRTY SOVIETS DON'T LIKE CLOSIN' THEIR BATHROOM DOORS BECAUSE THEY'RE DIRTY SOVIETS LIKE THAT - ANYWAY, HE WAS TAKIN' A DUMP AND IT WAS A PATHETIC LITTLE TURD HE TURNED OUT. NO EFFORT, AND THE KID WAS PLAYIN 'ROUND WITH HIS CELLPHONE, PROBABLY TEXTIN' HIS SOVIET BUDDIES ABOUT TAKIN' AN EASY DUMP AND SENDIN' CANADIAN GAME STRATEGIES. BOY, THAT MADE ME MAD. AND YOU KNOW WHAT'S WORSE? THE KID WAS WEARIN' A VISOR WHILE TAKIN' A DUMP. BOBBY WOULDN'T WEAR A VISOR WHILE TAKIN' A DUMP, GOD LOVE HIM.