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[LukeSmith]

:lol

Hell I also didn't use him at all in my first game. I gave every carry to LT..... huge mistake.

Our next matchup - in Houston - will probably be a Bjoern Mason revenge game. Mack Jackson will need his rest for the playoffs

 

[FrenchMovieTheme]

:lol

Hell I also didn't use him at all in my first game. I gave every carry to LT..... huge mistake.

i looked at his stats and the only reason he isn't a 90+ back is because his awareness is 20. everytime i see someone rated horribly low it reminds me of this classic....

To: John Madden
CC: Electronic Arts Sports
From: Ethan Albright
Re: Being the worst rated player on Madden ‘07

Hi, John, my name is Ethan Albright. I play line for the Washington Redskins. You probably already knew that, so I’ll continue. I am writing in regards to the overall player rating of 53 that I have received in Madden NFL Football 2007. I feel that this is fucking bullshit and you should kiss my mother-fucking ass. Ahmed Carroll was rated a 78 and the Packers just cut his ass on a Tuesday morning after his performance in a Monday night game. That is pretty terrible. The worst part is that his overall rating was sniffing 80.

You know what, John? Two can play this game. I rate you a fucking 12. I rate you a fucking 12 in Ethan Albright Football 2000-ever… except for in the category of ball-licking. That is where I will spot you a 98 rating. You will receive this score because I will never give your blubbery ass a 99 in any category. Take that, pencil-dick. Go do Al Micheals or something. Boom.

It’s also pretty wonderful that my awareness rating was 59. You make it sound like I wake up in the morning, helplessly shit and piss myself, then lose three of my teeth before I discover that I am trying to eat a rock for breakfast. Fuck, John, I understand you saying that I am slow and lacking athleticism, but a rating like this pretty much labels me as retarded. Rod “He Hate Me” Smart has a 52 in this category. Electronic Arts is saying that seven rating points separate me and the breathing embodiment of the perfect oxymoron. Rod Smart struggled to arrange words in sentence form. Cave men had better hold of the English language. The only actions that separate point values of ignorance at this embarrassing level are things like using your own toothbrush to wipe your ass. I basically edged out Rod by my lack of shit teeth. If I take a night school class, could you bump me up to a 60?


I guess I just can’t fathom the fact that I am the absolute worst player rated out of the entire NFL. Fuck, man, there are some shitty guys out there. Amongst everyone, I was rated the absolute worst.

I have received the impression that you feel that I am lacking in the agility category. I should consider a walk through my living room where I don’t crash through a wall or kick over furniture a resounding success. My agility rating on your game is 33. It makes it sound like I just topple over if I start walking too fast. Ted Washington is rated a 40 in agility. He is listed at 365 pounds. If Ted Washington tied a white lady up and made her wear a metal bikini, he’d look just like Jabba the Hut.

John, you are such a fucking dick. I also noticed that my kick return rating was a 0. I was rated a fucking zero? So you feel that I shouldn’t even receive a 10, or even a 5? You are pretty much saying that I couldn’t even fall forward on a ball kicked in my direction. I would just stand there and let the ball bounce off of my fucking face. Fuck that, John, I returned an onside kick 6 yards in 2002. You should have just slapped a - 4 on me and had the EA staff ambush me with paintball guns.

Finally, I would like to comment on an unlikely topic, my pass coverage ratings. I see that I am a better at man-to-man coverage (31) than zone (21). Fuck me sideways with a lunchbox. Where did these scores even come from? How much time is spent coming up with the pass coverage ratings of offensive lineman? Can I have that job? Let’s see here, I think that Orlando Pace would be slightly better at jumping intermediate routes than Larry Allen. While I’m at it, I can assign the passing ratings for offensive lineman as well. I can use mine as a guide.

I was rated with a throwing power of 17 and accuracy of 16. Orlando Pace has a 22 power and 17 accuracy rating. Did someone at EA really put time into figuring out that Orlando Pace edges out Ethan Albright in both throwing power and accuracy? I will challenge him any day. My horrible passer ratings are of greatest misfortune to my son, Red Beard Jr. The poor boy is not only hideously ugly and covered by freakishly large freckles. He also has to suffer through playing catch with me and my senile-elderly-woman-type passer ratings. A session of tossing the pigskin usually consists of me missing my son by thirty yards in sporadic directions. I led him in front of a fire truck once and my wife kicked my ass. This is because of my 76 toughness rating. Yes, a 76 is far better than the other ratings, but I’m a fucking lineman, damn it. NFL Linemen are considered to be synonymous with toughness. According to your game, I am a retarded, uncoordinated, pussy-ass fuckwad that can’t fall on a kickoff, throw, or spell. I am, however, slightly better at manning up on a receiver than dropping into zone coverage. You lose your mind more and more each year, old man.

Fuck you, John. Please expect to find red pubes in various meals you consume for the rest of your life. If you fuck with Ethan Albright, you call down the thunder.

Rot in Hell,

Ethan Albright

 

[Matrix]

Our next matchup - in Houston - will probably be a Bjoern Mason revenge game. Mack Jackson will need his rest for the playoffs

Hopefully he makes it to the Colts game and doesn't get hurt against the Jets. I lost him last game for the whole 4th with a shoulder injury and I'm scared I have overworked him. He was taken out on a cart, I figured his season was done Tank style.


:lol @ Ethan Albright

 

[LukeSmith]

Finally, I would like to comment on an unlikely topic, my pass coverage ratings. I see that I am a better at man-to-man coverage (31) than zone (21). Fuck me sideways with a lunchbox. Where did these scores even come from? How much time is spent coming up with the pass coverage ratings of offensive lineman? Can I have that job? Let’s see here, I think that Orlando Pace would be slightly better at jumping intermediate routes than Larry Allen. While I’m at it, I can assign the passing ratings for offensive lineman as well. I can use mine as a guide.

I think this part is my favorite :lol

 

[Wellington]

Damn I am getting killed in terms of TO differential this year. Last year my safeties both had ten picks, this year Phillips has 1 and rookie sensation Davion Kelly has 5. The only benefit are the ridiculously savage hit stick poundings they are dishing out. Their high POW ratings is what is causing so many injuries for my opponents. They are the NFL version of the bash brothers. I wish I had a guy like Kelly in our first draft, he'd be in the high 80s next season.

There were a lot of situational guys that I missed out on getting during this draft. Somnia got this beast safety I wanted, I think he only plays specials, would have been awesome situationally. There's this other dude I wanted that I thought would last, a tackle that LJ got, Jarrett Wittek. Measures out as a horrible tackle but would have been a fantastic guard. His speed is just retarded for counters and tosses. It was a bad move to go with another safety since I had a decent one and other holes.

Since next season will be our last season I am just going to go crazy with experimentals on draft day. My LB corps is super deep, so if anyone wants some I am looking for draft picks.

 

[FrenchMovieTheme]

Damn I am getting killed in terms of TO differential this year. Last year my safeties both had ten picks, this year Phillips has 1 and rookie sensation Davion Kelly has 5. The only benefit are the ridiculously savage hit stick poundings they are dishing out. Their high POW ratings is what is causing so many injuries for my opponents. They are the NFL version of the bash brothers. I wish I had a guy like Kelly in our first draft, he'd be in the high 80s next season.

There were a lot of situational guys that I missed out on getting during this draft. Somnia got this beast safety I wanted, I think he only plays specials, would have been awesome situationally. There's this other dude I wanted that I thought would last, a tackle that LJ got, Jarrett Wittek. Measures out as a horrible tackle but would have been a fantastic guard. His speed is just retarded for counters and tosses. It was a bad move to go with another safety since I had a decent one and other holes.

Since next season will be our last season I am just going to go crazy with experimentals on draft day. My LB corps is super deep, so if anyone wants some I am looking for draft picks.

i was about to say "will it? we'll see!" but in reality it will start in march and probably not end until about june-ish.... right around the time for NCAA and madden '11 to roll in.... we'll see! i can't let english go!

 

[DMczaf]

By the end of Season 4, we'll have Madden 11's complete feature list. Game Over.

 

[FrenchMovieTheme]

lol cards taking it to the eagles, 30-17 in the 4th!

careful CB, your playoffs could be on the line against me next week

 

[LukeSmith]

lol cards taking it to the eagles, 30-17 in the 4th!

careful CB, your playoffs could be on the line against me next week

It's the Darnell Dockett super show

 

[Wellington]

lol cards taking it to the eagles, 30-17 in the 4th!

careful CB, your playoffs could be on the line against me next week

He's lucky bob and I play each other. I absolutely need that game thanks to the fucked tiebreaker system. CB has you then Somnia, that is pretty fucked up. :lol

By the end of Season 4, we'll have Madden 11's complete feature list. Game Over.

Yeah but how much of it will work properly? :lol

 

[FrenchMovieTheme]

He's lucky bob and I play each other. I absolutely need that game thanks to the fucked tiebreaker system. CB has you then Somnia, that is pretty fucked up. :lol



Yeah but how much of it will work properly? :lol

oh, i guarantee im beating that fucker after all the shit he has talked.

plus i'd rather not see him in the playoffs!

 

[LukeSmith]

By the end of Season 4, we'll have Madden 11's complete feature list. Game Over.

REAL NFL TIEBREAKERS!

 

[CB3]

If you play DT, and you gotta play the Eagles, just play the CPU. Honestly. Dockett throws my guard aside the same way every single passing play, I cant even drop back fully before im sacked. if i keep the back in, he goes after the fucking DE. I couldnt pass. At all.

Im sick of feeling like im being punished cause i play an actual defensive position instead of camped on the Line somewhere

 

[Matrix]

If you play DT, and you gotta play the Eagles, just play the CPU. Honestly. Dockett throws my guard aside the same way every single passing play, I cant even drop back fully before im sacked. if i keep the back in, he goes after the fucking DE. I couldnt pass. At all.

Im sick of feeling like im being punished cause i play an actual defensive position instead of camped on the Line somewhere

oh noes

Dockett destroys everyone, every time I face Astrolad I'm abused. It's all good though.

No crying in baseerrrr fooball!

 

[Wellington]

If you play DT, and you gotta play the Eagles, just play the CPU. Honestly. Dockett throws my guard aside the same way every single passing play, I cant even drop back fully before im sacked. if i keep the back in, he goes after the fucking DE. I couldnt pass. At all.

Im sick of feeling like im being punished cause i play an actual defensive position instead of camped on the Line somewhere

That makes no sense. The Back will take the first guy to come free, just like in RL.

Alain and Dockett threw aside the only guy on my line worth a damn like nothing (Chris Snee 94 OVR) and you didn't see me crying! You have the best OL in the league too.

Also, it's punishing that everyone abuses the middle of the field against us line players.

And lastly:

 

[CB3]

The only guys that destroy on a consistant basis are the user controlled D-line guys. Especially DT's. ive noticed this during the season.

The last drive or two of the game i didnt even try winning too much. I ran short crossing routes so i could get off a quick pass and just watched the Line play. Shit is ridiculous. I cant even get off my drop with having to try and get off a rushed pass or run for my life

CK: I actually tried to exploit the middle of the field. My guys couldnt even get off their route breaks before i was down for the count

 

[Mrbob]

I'm gonna enjoy this week, since for the moment I officially now own the number 5 playoff seed! My upcoming schedule is brutal so I doubt I can hold it but I have it for now!

 

[Wellington]

The only guys that destroy on a consistant basis are the user controlled D-line guys. Especially DT's. ive noticed this during the season.

The last drive or two of the game i didnt even try winning too much. I ran short crossing routes so i could get off a quick pass and just watched the Line play. Shit is ridiculous. I cant even get off my drop with having to try and get off a rushed pass or run for my life

CK: I actually tried to exploit the middle of the field. My guys couldnt even get off their route breaks before i was down for the count

I don't get this. The pass rush in any sense is garbage in this game. The DL is totally nerfed, blitzing is more a liability than anything else, and QBs throw the ball while going down to avoid sacks - but it's a problem when someone gets pressure?

 

[Matrix]

I'm gonna enjoy this week, since for the moment I officially now own the number 5 playoff seed! My upcoming schedule is brutal so I doubt I can hold it but I have it for now!

You are a failure at tanking. You need to learn from Pheeniks.

All these extra wins and then most likely either come up short or knocked out of the first round. Lose some of your pride, it will get you a better draft pick.

 

[Rorschach]

Remember, Bob: FMT gave me permission to put up 100 on you. You can take it up with him if you have a problem with it.

 

[CB3]

its a problem when the DT is getting instant pressure on the exact same animation every time. I could literally draw out what the animation was. Again this is not something i noticed just now. its something ive been seeing from a few people thus far.

Instant pressure on a 4 man rush every play aint cool. especially when im putting in my back to help and thats not doing anything.

I tried running alot more, and to the other side. That works only part way. your gonna have to pass at some point. I even got sacked before i could hand off the ball 1 time. which put me into second and long right away

 

[Matrix]

Remember, Bob: FMT gave me permission to put up 100 on you. You can take it up with him if you have a problem with it.

God I would love to see that. Closest we have seen is when you made BJ your bitch with I believe 70 something points :lol

Honestly Bob could just milk the clock with run plays and you would never score 100

 

[LukeSmith]

Alright, last five weeks of the year if Crow can't play might as well just have his opponents play the CPU.

A "community" run team has no business in the playoffs, anyway.

 

[Rorschach]

God I would love to see that. Closest we have seen is when you made BJ your bitch with I believe 70 something points :lol

Honestly Bob could just milk the clock with run plays and you would never score 100

Well, realistically, it's impossible to put up a 100 (or even 70) unless the other player is trying to make you score 100.

But don't tell Bob!

 

[TheCrow]

Alright, last five weeks of the year if Crow can't play might as well just have his opponents play the CPU.

A "community" run team has no business in the playoffs, anyway.

Damn it. Who told you that I couldn't play next next weekend.

 

[LukeSmith]

Damn it. Who told you that I couldn't play next next weekend.

You can accept the position of GM of the Colts, since you can't ever really play anyway. We'd love to bring you aboard

 

[TheCrow]

You accept the position of GM of the Colts, since you can't ever really play anyway. We'd love to bring you aboard

Jimmy would be starting and I'd trade Peyton. Run the ball 30 times every game.

 

[Somnia]

Man the last few games here are going to be real interesting for the East. CB and CK gonna be gunnin for me and my "I only have 1 good game in me" Pennington :lol

 

[LukeSmith]

Jimmy would be starting and I'd trade Peyton. Run the ball 30 times every game.

Oh, I'm still President.

 

[bluemax]

Yea Dolphins WRs are trash and pussy trufant was everywhere.

I thought the game was going to be close after I had -5 yards in the first quarter.

Then I dropped 28 on you in the second and it stopped being a contest.

Not sure what you were thinking with that 58 yard FG. I returned it out to the 40 and the momentum never seemed to go away.

Forsett had a nice LeRon James esque 69 yard TD scamper! Pussy ass Julius Jones went out for the game with a bruised shoulder. And then Forsett got knocked out for a few plays when I was trying to run the clock out

If you play DT, and you gotta play the Eagles, just play the CPU. Honestly. Dockett throws my guard aside the same way every single passing play, I cant even drop back fully before im sacked. if i keep the back in, he goes after the fucking DE. I couldnt pass. At all.

Im sick of feeling like im being punished cause i play an actual defensive position instead of camped on the Line somewhere

This makes Jovan Haye very excited.

btw i win the NFC west unless i lose out and the seahawks win out thanks to EA's awesome tie breaker!

p.s. cards beating eagles, 20-14 in the 2nd quarter

Can I win 8 straight to close out the season? Only time will tell!

 

[Ramirez]

:lol

That fumble was just random it seems like.

I had two fumbles vs. Steelers where neither were big hits. Just the AI using the strip and two guys who hardly fumble end up giving short field position. Meh.

You left out that it was Timmons both times, who now leads the league in FF, suck on it boys.

 

[Ramirez]

If you play DT, and you gotta play the Eagles, just play the CPU. Honestly. Dockett throws my guard aside the same way every single passing play, I cant even drop back fully before im sacked. if i keep the back in, he goes after the fucking DE. I couldnt pass. At all.

Im sick of feeling like im being punished cause i play an actual defensive position instead of camped on the Line somewhere

LOL, I called him out on this months ago, but no one wanted to believe me as usual.

It's just like CB said, it's the same exact animation every time, he just throws the guy to the side and is INSTANTLY in your face, it's so cheesy. yum

 

[Striker]

You left out that it was Timmons both times, who now leads the league in FF, suck on it boys.

I had no idea what happened on both plays. Davis got wrapped up in the hole and next thing I know he's dropped it. 99 carry, no fumbles last season, but has two this year. On Massaqoui's fumble, I don't know, but once that happened the game was over. It was a 3rd down conversion wrapped up by a fumble leading to a short field. Pbht

I get the Darnell Dockett Show next week, should be fun.

 

[Zep]

I thought the game was going to be close after I had -5 yards in the first quarter.

Then I dropped 28 on you in the second and it stopped being a contest.

Not sure what you were thinking with that 58 yard FG. I returned it out to the 40 and the momentum never seemed to go away.

Forsett had a nice LeRon James esque 69 yard TD scamper! Pussy ass Julius Jones went out for the game with a bruised shoulder. And then Forsett got knocked out for a few plays when I was trying to run the clock out

Pretty sure my pressure not getting to you (anymore) ended the game.. 1st quarter I was sending the house to make you throw quick and I think it threw you off and had some success..Then you adjusted and went to quicker slot routes and had big 3rd down plays. That about wrapped it up.

Im playing DM ball with the Titans, no less than 45 rushes between my 3rbs..

Pheeniks, I know you wanted to play this afternoon but I gotta take this shit back and get a new copy. Just post here when you're ready.

 

[ph33nix]

Pretty sure my pressure not getting to you (anymore) ended the game.. 1st quarter I was sending the house to make you throw quick and I think it threw you off and had some success..Then you adjusted and went to quicker slot routes and had big 3rd down plays. That about wrapped it up.

Im playing DM ball with the Titans, no less than 45 rushes between my 3rbs..

Pheeniks, I know you wanted to play this afternoon but I gotta take this shit back and get a new copy. Just post here when you're ready.

I can't this afternoon sorry for being a bailout ass. But I may be here before all star game and might be here after. don't know but I'll keep you posted from phone if I can

 

[AstroLad]

yeah ok can't even enjoy the occasional win.

adios, see you guys elsewhere on gaf.

 

[Nightz]

yeah ok can't even enjoy the occasional win.

adios, see you guys elsewhere on gaf.

Don't worry about it, Dockett is a beast.

 

[PBY]

lonestar, u around?

 

[sableholic]

yeah ok can't even enjoy the occasional win.

adios, see you guys elsewhere on gaf.

Like nightz said I wouldn't worry about it

 

[DenogginizerOS]

Matrix,

Are you free to play today? If so, when?

 

[daw840]

Rors, I might be able to squeeze a game in today. Just hit me up on AIM.

 

[Wellington]

I can sub for the Titans if needed.

 

[FrenchMovieTheme]

yeah ok can't even enjoy the occasional win.

adios, see you guys elsewhere on gaf.

don't let CB's whining ruin your win. as i've said so many times before, destroying an O-line with a D-line isn't easy or else everyone would do it.

you enjoy your dismantling of the eagles. dockett obviously isn't that unstoppable or else you'd be undefeated!

 

[FrenchMovieTheme]

also, Zep is the titans!

 

[Wellington]

 

[Smokey]

Nightz...when are you around so you can be the first to feel the wrath of a healthy Turner ?

 

[LiveWire]

Damn I am getting killed in terms of TO differential this year.

Speaking of, can someone please post the link to the latest version of SableScript™? I think I need to reinstall, it's not showing up anymore.

 

[Fifty]

I was having a really good game with Luke, until the game realized that the theme of this season is me being miserable, and it decided Joe Flacco should be injured for 3 weeks, and Joey Keller for 9. If I had any other Joes on the team, I'm sure they would have gone down too.

So to sum it up..a very good game that went Luke's way due to late-game heroics by Manning and Clark turned into an utterly miserable experience that has me awaiting my next game like I would a root canal.

 

[ph33nix]

Never mind Zep I came back. All yours baby

 

[Fifty]

also, Zep is the titans!

Nice to see that AB quit as quietly as he played. He wins the 09/10 NDA award.