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Miley Cyrus - I fucking loved this. Miley was giving me everything here: from the best vocals of the night to the wonderfully ironic "sad kitty" tableau... It's pretty impressive to see someone with all eyes on them really make attempts to up their own artistry in clever ways. People will probably mock the crying kitten green screen, but I think it's a great disruptor for an otherwise ubiquitous song. There was no way Miley was going to make a performance of the most popular song in America stand out any more than it already has, but a crying kitten lip syncing behind her, then flashing its tongue at the very end? Iconic. The end. SCORE: A+
Rihanna - This is pretty much her Diamonds arrangement from performances past, though I do hate-love how stripped down it is. The orchestral background was a pretty soaring addition, and even though she gave the body language of someone who simply showed up to collect her winnings (and there's no doubt she earned them), this is the first time I'm looking at Rihanna as not only someone who is effortlessly accomplished, but whose accomplishments are pretty damn impressive at such an age. So many pop stars have tried to get the same level of certifications, followers, views and what have you, but what's impressive about Rihanna is that she genuinely looks like she didn't even TRY that hard to get them. That's partly why I can't quite place her; whether she's as accomplished as she is mostly on her own accord or whether she's just a passenger on her own train. While I do think she's less than the sum of her parts, and this performance might be proof of this, the bottom line is that she worked hard here vocally and did a serviceable job of selling this song to any rock-dwelling mammal who hasn't heard it already. SCORE: B-
Jennifer Lopez - ARE YOU KIDDING ME RIGHT NOW CHICA?? Jennifer literally POSSESSED Celia Cruz's spirit; fuck it, the entire salsa GENRE in this performance. This is what show business is all about: incredible direction, powerhouse vocals (who knew??), costume changes, a flawless dance troupe, flashy transitions, and wowing the crowd. The fact that Jennifer Lopez is often-times put in the backburner in most pop-related conversations is pretty sad when you consider that this woman is, firstly, a gargantuan pop cultural icon (whose A-list status is untouched by even the likes of Beyonce or Gaga), and secondly, the best dancer in pop music period. Her performances are always incredible and there's a certain flair in her swagger and walk that's pretty hard to come by these days. Basically, Jennifer Lopez is incredibly talented and it's refreshing to see a contemporary pop act really just fucking slay a set in the most organic way possible. You better werk mommy. SCORE: A+
Ariana Grande- Ariana's vocals are really out of this world, and it's rare to see someone retain that pitch perfect polish and range on stage. She's definitely in her element here it seems, and though it's too bad that she herself kind of fell into the background because I think this performance could have been an opportune moment for her to sort of "introduce" herself to the mainstream in a way that she hasn't really done yet. The vocals should sell her brand well enough, as it should anyway, but I do think she kind of melted into her back-up troupe because of that giant stupid microphone. It's meant to be stripped down though, so for what it's worth, she did a great, great job. SCORE: B+
Katy Perry - Japanese Mulan The Musical? The direction here is far and away the most polished of the night, and I do respect anyone that really takes a ubiquitous theme and executes it well. However this performance pretty much exemplifies why I can't really get behind Katy as a pop act. First and most obvious are those tragic vocals that really vacuumed out whatever joy and happiness that song was meant to exude and instead just sounded like a barrell of bobcats rolling down a hill. Second and quite important is the fact that this whole "Memoirs of a Geisha" theme has been done to DEATH by major pop acts in the past, all ranging from epic and flawless (Madonna) to live-assassination-esque (Britney). It's a ubiquitous theme because everyone's done it, and though Katy doesn't claim to be an innovator by any means (her existence is honestly a testament to the contrary) it's hard to chuck praise her way for doing something that can easily be copy-pasted from her pop superiors. Katy was easily the worst part of this performance, as she is with her songs. Good effort though. SCORE: C+
Lady Gaga - What a difference a rehearsal makes. Do What You Want finally gets an adequate performance that attempts to sell the gist of the song while also lighting a fire to some socio-political commentary in typical Gaga fashion. Also in typical Gaga fashion, the performance itself treads the line between half-baked and utterly flawless. In this case though, the performance leans more heavily toward the latter. As usual, it's Gaga's choreography that sort of holds her back from reaching to the stars most of the time (her arms are so stiff here it looked like a Marilyn marionette at one point), but I do adore this performance for the simple fact that we're seeing Gaga have FUN again. The ARTPOP era so far might have been a mish-mash of executions to varying results, but one thing is certain this time: Gaga is LIVING. She's being funny, she's being campy and ironic, and it's evident that her best qualities truly come to life when she lets go of that "pinache" a bit. She's still far and away the most legitimate pop act we have outside of Beyonce and Madonna, and she has such a commanding presence in everything she does that she never gets lost in her own tableaus, regardless of how ambitious or low-key (I'm looking at you, everybody else). Her vocals ranged from soaring to flailing though, and the semi-awkward ending that took the performance down to morose levels was almost unwarranted given how schtick-y it was. Regardless, it's a brilliantly fun performance that showcases a pop star who's settled into her character and niche, and can now be comfortable and have fun with it. SCORE: B+
Christina Aguilera ft. Team Christina From The Voice - Say Something has every making for "Song of the Year" and it's obvious that it's heading that way with these impressive live performances. Christina's body language is ALWAYS on point and she really has established herself lately as a solid ingredient in a pop song's recipe, from high-octane vocals to reserved emotional appeal. I do think that Christina's really sort of auditioning herself again to the mainstream and trying to see where people want to place her musically. It's a brilliant artistic endeavor for someone who's never been attached to a certain niche or category. Christina turns 180s with every album cycle and because of that I think she robbed herself from a certain authentic flair that she otherwise deserves. It seems like she knows this and because of it she's making herself available to all kinds of musical styles to see what works for her. I appreciate anyone that experiments with musical styles that people wouldn't expect them to bother with but it's obvious that Christina's inspirations come from all kinds of places. This song has exactly one hook, and though this performance isn't really anything special, it does its job and I'm sure the song will see a big sales bump today because of it. SCORE: B-
If there's anyone I missed (that matters) let me know. I think I got everyone. lol
Rihanna - This is pretty much her Diamonds arrangement from performances past, though I do hate-love how stripped down it is. The orchestral background was a pretty soaring addition, and even though she gave the body language of someone who simply showed up to collect her winnings (and there's no doubt she earned them), this is the first time I'm looking at Rihanna as not only someone who is effortlessly accomplished, but whose accomplishments are pretty damn impressive at such an age. So many pop stars have tried to get the same level of certifications, followers, views and what have you, but what's impressive about Rihanna is that she genuinely looks like she didn't even TRY that hard to get them. That's partly why I can't quite place her; whether she's as accomplished as she is mostly on her own accord or whether she's just a passenger on her own train. While I do think she's less than the sum of her parts, and this performance might be proof of this, the bottom line is that she worked hard here vocally and did a serviceable job of selling this song to any rock-dwelling mammal who hasn't heard it already. SCORE: B-
Jennifer Lopez - ARE YOU KIDDING ME RIGHT NOW CHICA?? Jennifer literally POSSESSED Celia Cruz's spirit; fuck it, the entire salsa GENRE in this performance. This is what show business is all about: incredible direction, powerhouse vocals (who knew??), costume changes, a flawless dance troupe, flashy transitions, and wowing the crowd. The fact that Jennifer Lopez is often-times put in the backburner in most pop-related conversations is pretty sad when you consider that this woman is, firstly, a gargantuan pop cultural icon (whose A-list status is untouched by even the likes of Beyonce or Gaga), and secondly, the best dancer in pop music period. Her performances are always incredible and there's a certain flair in her swagger and walk that's pretty hard to come by these days. Basically, Jennifer Lopez is incredibly talented and it's refreshing to see a contemporary pop act really just fucking slay a set in the most organic way possible. You better werk mommy. SCORE: A+
Ariana Grande- Ariana's vocals are really out of this world, and it's rare to see someone retain that pitch perfect polish and range on stage. She's definitely in her element here it seems, and though it's too bad that she herself kind of fell into the background because I think this performance could have been an opportune moment for her to sort of "introduce" herself to the mainstream in a way that she hasn't really done yet. The vocals should sell her brand well enough, as it should anyway, but I do think she kind of melted into her back-up troupe because of that giant stupid microphone. It's meant to be stripped down though, so for what it's worth, she did a great, great job. SCORE: B+
Katy Perry - Japanese Mulan The Musical? The direction here is far and away the most polished of the night, and I do respect anyone that really takes a ubiquitous theme and executes it well. However this performance pretty much exemplifies why I can't really get behind Katy as a pop act. First and most obvious are those tragic vocals that really vacuumed out whatever joy and happiness that song was meant to exude and instead just sounded like a barrell of bobcats rolling down a hill. Second and quite important is the fact that this whole "Memoirs of a Geisha" theme has been done to DEATH by major pop acts in the past, all ranging from epic and flawless (Madonna) to live-assassination-esque (Britney). It's a ubiquitous theme because everyone's done it, and though Katy doesn't claim to be an innovator by any means (her existence is honestly a testament to the contrary) it's hard to chuck praise her way for doing something that can easily be copy-pasted from her pop superiors. Katy was easily the worst part of this performance, as she is with her songs. Good effort though. SCORE: C+
Lady Gaga - What a difference a rehearsal makes. Do What You Want finally gets an adequate performance that attempts to sell the gist of the song while also lighting a fire to some socio-political commentary in typical Gaga fashion. Also in typical Gaga fashion, the performance itself treads the line between half-baked and utterly flawless. In this case though, the performance leans more heavily toward the latter. As usual, it's Gaga's choreography that sort of holds her back from reaching to the stars most of the time (her arms are so stiff here it looked like a Marilyn marionette at one point), but I do adore this performance for the simple fact that we're seeing Gaga have FUN again. The ARTPOP era so far might have been a mish-mash of executions to varying results, but one thing is certain this time: Gaga is LIVING. She's being funny, she's being campy and ironic, and it's evident that her best qualities truly come to life when she lets go of that "pinache" a bit. She's still far and away the most legitimate pop act we have outside of Beyonce and Madonna, and she has such a commanding presence in everything she does that she never gets lost in her own tableaus, regardless of how ambitious or low-key (I'm looking at you, everybody else). Her vocals ranged from soaring to flailing though, and the semi-awkward ending that took the performance down to morose levels was almost unwarranted given how schtick-y it was. Regardless, it's a brilliantly fun performance that showcases a pop star who's settled into her character and niche, and can now be comfortable and have fun with it. SCORE: B+
Christina Aguilera ft. Team Christina From The Voice - Say Something has every making for "Song of the Year" and it's obvious that it's heading that way with these impressive live performances. Christina's body language is ALWAYS on point and she really has established herself lately as a solid ingredient in a pop song's recipe, from high-octane vocals to reserved emotional appeal. I do think that Christina's really sort of auditioning herself again to the mainstream and trying to see where people want to place her musically. It's a brilliant artistic endeavor for someone who's never been attached to a certain niche or category. Christina turns 180s with every album cycle and because of that I think she robbed herself from a certain authentic flair that she otherwise deserves. It seems like she knows this and because of it she's making herself available to all kinds of musical styles to see what works for her. I appreciate anyone that experiments with musical styles that people wouldn't expect them to bother with but it's obvious that Christina's inspirations come from all kinds of places. This song has exactly one hook, and though this performance isn't really anything special, it does its job and I'm sure the song will see a big sales bump today because of it. SCORE: B-
If there's anyone I missed (that matters) let me know. I think I got everyone. lol
VIVA LA LEGENDTINA!
