FUCK poker. I wanted the US Army outfit scrap so I had to win at Blackwater.
Shit took me 3 long, grueling hours.
The first two chumps were out soon enough, but then I had this one buster, Bunk Trimble, who just didn't give a fuck about my scrap. This dude was pulling straights and flushes out of his ass like it was nobody's business. There were 4000 total chips in play and they went baaaack and forth, baaaack and forth. I managed to make it to 2900 at one point, fell to 1000, moved back up to 2100, down to 800, up to 3700, down to 2100, and FINALLY after three FUCKING hours I had trip 4s and made him go all in. Dude had two pair and for a sec I thought that beat trips so I was about to flip shit. I seriously lost 5 years off my life from that game. It actually took at least 3-4 full in-game days to finish. The problem was I'd get shit pocket cards and he'd either raise before the flop forcing me to fold, or the flop would come, I'd have nothing, and he'd raise 100+, forcing me to fold. I was on the brink of a mental breakdown. But at least I got that fucking scrap. I wish I recorded my reaction when I finally won. Twas glorious. I ran to my safehouse, saved, ran back down, found Bunk, hogtied him, burned him, shot him multiple times with a semi-auto shotgun whilst burning, and then threw about 15 knives in his skull/torso. Then I threw some cheats on and went on a mega-rampage to relieve the stress.
FUCK you Bunk Trimble. FUCK YOU.