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Reports on Russian connections to Trump [Summaries in OP] #GoldenShowers
- Thread starter chadskin
- Start date
- Status
cooljeanius
Member
I can't see any of these; he blocked me on Twitter the other day...
tearsintherain
Member
?? Russia isn't communist and hasn't been for 25+ years. Its authoritarian, totalitarian, fascist, federal republic, federation, an oligarchy, or a plutocracy depending on your viewpoint. Western countries are more communist than Russia at this point.
You can't impeach somebody for unproven allegations no matter how much most of us here would love to see Trump tossed out of office.
Nappuccino
Member
Waiting for the other shoe to drop is suspenseful as fuck.
Not with a bang but with a whimper
I don't know if impeachment is as possible as so much incrimination coming to light that Trump is pressured to step down.
Yeah. That was probably the scariest thing I saw out of today (well... not the scariest, but scary). i.e. the President pretty openly threatening any of the press that write anything bad about him. Not new... but still scary. I'm glad CNN isn't doing a Ford and is standing up to it.
HP_Wuvcraft
Banned
But every progressive bill since FDR is gonna be in trouble.
This is a guy who, on national TV, said he would not concede the election.
What do you think is gonna happen now that he is the PRESIDENT?
I mean, JUST TODAY he called his enemies Nazis.
Isaac Otherworld
Member
Fixed that for you.
Yeah... sure.
China will take decades to match our military tech and Russia is still a crumbled Cold War era joke.
Until china has actual an aircraft carrier group (like 5+ carriers) this is a unipolar world.
The US has 10 fucking super carriers and 9 smaller carriers.
China and Russia have 1 each. France has 1. The U.K. Is building a couple. India has a couple. Japan has some helicopter carriers. Australia has a couple. That's really about it.
They have no means to extend a global military presence.
Sure Russia has a ton of nukes but I doubt nearly as many of them are operational as they claim. They are Cold War relics.
It hopefully never comes to nukes, and if it does we're all fucked anyway so it doesn't really matter.
Maybe a stupid question, can impeaching him and finding him guilty of treason be two different things?
Yes. But if the impeachment is due to strong evidence of treason, it is unlikely that he wouldn't be found guilty of it as well.
Unless the republican congress fucks us all.
Of course, but given that this is a GOP-controlled Congress, the only thing that will likely get him impeached is literal treason.
Knuckle Sandwich
Member
That's the worst one. The others say Clapper cleared Trump and McCain should go to jail.
Yes, and a third different thing is the possibility that mounting evidence pressures him to resign before he is impeached. (see Nixon, Richard)
RustyNails
Member
The only way for Remington Steele to get out of this mess is if he can produce the video and torrent it.
Lionel Mandrake
Member
Writer Ken Bensinger (Joseph Gordon Levitt) sits at his desk in a cubicle farm, the name "Buzzfeed" visible on the wall behind him. While looking through his e-mail, he sees a new attachment saying "You'll want to see this." He takes a sip of coffee as he scrolls before his eyes bulge and he spits out the coffee.
[Joker and the Thief by Wolfmother starts playing]
Bensinger runs into an office where Miriam Elder (Maya Rudolph) is talking to Mark Schoofs (Stanley Tucci), he's panicking and holding a freshly printed document.
Bensinger: Guys, guys! I think-... I think I have a story. About Trump.
Elder: Pfft. [Taking paper] Like anybody gives a... What the-...?!
[Jump cut to Schoofs reading it]
Schoofs: No, actually I agree. I agree with the "What the-..." [Waves his hand to imply the final unspoken word].
Elder: How does this happen?
EARLIER...
Jeb Bush (Will Ferrel): [Facing camera] Hi! I'm Jeb Bush, and I'd sure like to be your president.
Cut to:
Jeb looking disappointed in a dark room, talking to an advisor (Ben Schwartz).
Jeb: How is he beating us? I just don't get it.
[Shot of Donald Trump (Alec Baldwin) at a campaign rally]
Advisor: I thought you had an exclamation point at the end of your name! It's time to get to action!
Jeb: ... Yeah.
Advisor: Step up!
Jeb: YEAH!
Cut to:
Jeb is on a phone.
Jeb: Hey... Who would I talk to about.... Hiring a spy?
Cut to:
Christopher Steele (Liam Neeson) meets with Jeb in a car in a parking garage. He's very intense.
FROM ADAM MCKAY
DIRECTOR OF "THE BIG SHORT" and "ANCHORMAN"
Steele: What is it you want?
Jeb: Well, if you could just... Find something. Like, maybe he cheated on some taxes, or maybe he said something offensive.
Steele: I'll start in Russia.
Jeb: Russia?
Steele: Russia.
Jeb: Why... why would you start in Russia?
Steele: Everything bad usually happens in Russia.
Jeb: ... Oh. [Smirks] Hey. We're kind of like James Bond and M, huh. Yeah, I'm M and you're George Lazenby.
[Steele stares, stone-faced.]
LATER
[Jeb sits in his pajamas reading the paper when the phone rings.]
Jeb: [Answers] Y'ello.
Steele: This is Steele. I have your information. It's big.
Jeb: Oh. Oh! No, that's okay. I'm actually out of the race. You don't have to-...
[Pause]
Jeb: ... Like.... Number 1?
John McCain (Bill Murray) stares at a document.
John McCain: .... Ha... Hahaha!
[In a hotel suite]
Trump: How bad are we talking?
Agent 1(Jordan Peele): ... Moscow, a few years ago.
Trump: ... Ah...
Agent 2(Keegan-Michael Key): Prostitution. Blackmail... Uh...
Agent 1: Illicit business ties.
Agent 2: And...
Agent 1: And...
Agent 2: Pee.
Agent 1: Yeah, pee.
Agent 2: [Nods]
Agent 1: People are probably gonna really latch onto... the pee.
Trump: ... Uhh...
[In an office]
Kellyanne Conway (Kate McKinnon): This might not be so bad, if it comes out. You know, maybe we could spin it. Like... You're improving Russian relations.
Trump: And, hey. Maybe there was a fire in the hotel.
Conway: [Winces]
Trump: ... And there wasn't any water. Someone had to put the fire out!
THE RIDICULOUS TRUE STORY
OF THE CRAZIEST SCANDAL IN AMERICAN POLITICAL HISTORY
Putin (Steve Carrell): [Chuckles nervously]
Big montage of quick cuts of shenanigans and character's reactions as the music gets to the last "Joker and the Thief" chorus repetition. Music stops.
GOLDENGATE
Trump is at press conference at Trump Tower.
Trump: No. No. Not you. No. Your organization is terrible.
COMING SOON
-Plasma Reus-
Service guarantees member status
The only way Lex Steel is going to get out of this, is if he fucks someone really hard.
cooltrainer
Member
At this point I think they could find no further evidence beyond these allegations and it will still be pretty damaging to his presidency. Everything is going to be so heavily scrutinized he's never going to seem trustworthy. And the story just seems to be getting worse and worse for him. I can see impeachment a real possibility. I thought his presidency was going to be pretty crazy but I never anticipated this level of crazy this fast. We still have more than a week until inauguration! I can't imagine what that will be like.
StarSketch
Banned
Wait, so are there moderate Republicans in congress that would go for trying to put this through, or are we assuming everyone in congress on that side is sucking the potato's dick?
Cause I can see some Repubs just shutting up while this goes on because literally every one around them including their voter base is fucking insane.
It doesn't seem far fetched that an underpaid Russian operative or whoever maintains their archives would try to claim it someday. Probably too much heat now though.
That's not a bad thing. Some evidence would be nice - for a change.
RustyNails
Member
Goddammit I want to see this right now. Bravo.
Writer Ken Bensinger (Joseph Gordon Levitt) sits at his desk in a cubicle farm, the name "Buzzfeed" visible on the wall behind him. While looking through his e-mail, he sees a new attachment saying "You'll want to see this." He takes a sip of coffee as he scrolls before his eyes bulge and he spits out the coffee.
[Joker and the Thief by Wolfmother starts playing]
Bensinger runs into an office where Miriam Elder (Maya Rudolph) is talking to Mark Schoofs (Stanley Tucci), he's panicking and holding a freshly printed document.
Bensinger: Guys, guys! I think-... I think I have a story. About Trump.
Elder: Pfft. [Taking paper] Like anybody gives a... What the-...?!
[Jump cut to Schoofs reading it]
Schoofs: No, actually I agree. I agree with the "What the-..." [Waves his hand to imply the final unspoken word].
Elder: How does this happen?
EARLIER...
Jeb Bush (Will Ferrel): [Facing camera] Hi! I'm Jeb Bush, and I'd sure like to be your president.
Cut to:
Jeb looking disappointed in a dark room, talking to an advisor (Ben Schwartz).
Jeb: How is he beating us? I just don't get it.
[Shot of Donald Trump (Alec Baldwin) at a campaign rally]
Advisor: I thought you had an exclamation point at the end of your name! It's time to get to action!
Jeb: ... Yeah.
Advisor: Step up!
Jeb: YEAH!
Cut to:
Jeb is on a phone.
Jeb: Hey... Who would I talk to about.... Hiring a spy?
Cut to:
Christopher Steele (Liam Neeson) meets with Jeb in a car in a parking garage. He's very intense.
FROM ADAM MCKAY
DIRECTOR OF "THE BIG SHORT" and "ANCHORMAN"
Steele: What is it you want?
Jeb: Well, if you could just... Find something. Like, maybe he cheated on some taxes, or maybe he said something offensive.
Steele: I'll start in Russia.
Jeb: Russia?
Steele: Russia.
Jeb: Why... why would you start in Russia?
Steele: Everything bad usually happens in Russia.
Jeb: ... Oh. [Smirks] Hey. We're kind of like James Bond and M, huh. Yeah, I'm M and you're George Lazenby.
[Steele stares, stone-faced.]
LATER
[Jeb sits in his pajamas reading the paper when the phone rings.]
Jeb: [Answers] Y'ello.
Steele: This is Steele. I have your information. It's big.
Jeb: Oh. Oh! No, that's okay. I'm actually out of the race. You don't have to-...
[Pause]
Jeb: ... Like.... Number 1?
John McCain (Bill Murray) stares at a document.
John McCain: .... Ha... Hahaha!
[In a hotel suite]
Trump: How bad are we talking?
Agent 1(Jordan Peele): ... Moscow, a few years ago.
Trump: ... Ah...
Agent 2(Keegan-Michael Key): Prostitution. Blackmail... Uh...
Agent 1: Illicit business ties.
Agent 2: And...
Agent 1: And...
Agent 2: Pee.
Agent 1: Yeah, pee.
Agent 2: [Nods]
Agent 1: People are probably gonna really latch onto... the pee.
Trump: ... Uhh...
[In an office]
Kellyanne Conway (Kate McKinnon): This might not be so bad, if it comes out. You know, maybe we could spin it. Like... You're improving Russian relations.
Trump: And, hey. Maybe there was a fire in the hotel.
Conway: [Winces]
Trump: ... And there wasn't any water. Someone had to put the fire out!
THE RIDICULOUS TRUE STORY
OF THE CRAZIEST SCANDAL IN AMERICAN POLITICAL HISTORY
Putin (Steve Carrell): [Chuckles nervously]
Big montage of quick cuts of shenanigans and character's reactions as the music gets to the last "Joker and the Thief" chorus repetition. Music stops.
GOLDENGATE
Trump is at press conference at Trump Tower.
Trump: No. No. Not you. No. Your organization is terrible.
COMING SOON
Writer Ken Bensinger (Joseph Gordon Levitt) sits at his desk in a cubicle farm, the name "Buzzfeed" visible on the wall behind him. While looking through his e-mail, he sees a new attachment saying "You'll want to see this." He takes a sip of coffee as he scrolls before his eyes bulge and he spits out the coffee.
[Joker and the Thief by Wolfmother starts playing]
Bensinger runs into an office where Miriam Elder (Maya Rudolph) is talking to Mark Schoofs (Stanley Tucci), he's panicking and holding a freshly printed document.
Bensinger: Guys, guys! I think-... I think I have a story. About Trump.
Elder: Pfft. [Taking paper] Like anybody gives a... What the-...?!
[Jump cut to Schoofs reading it]
Schoofs: No, actually I agree. I agree with the "What the-..." [Waves his hand to imply the final unspoken word].
Elder: How does this happen?
EARLIER...
Jeb Bush (Will Ferrel): [Facing camera] Hi! I'm Jeb Bush, and I'd sure like to be your president.
Cut to:
Jeb looking disappointed in a dark room, talking to an advisor (Ben Schwartz).
Jeb: How is he beating us? I just don't get it.
[Shot of Donald Trump (Alec Baldwin) at a campaign rally]
Advisor: I thought you had an exclamation point at the end of your name! It's time to get to action!
Jeb: ... Yeah.
Advisor: Step up!
Jeb: YEAH!
Cut to:
Jeb is on a phone.
Jeb: Hey... Who would I talk to about.... Hiring a spy?
Cut to:
Christopher Steele (Liam Neeson) meets with Jeb in a car in a parking garage. He's very intense.
FROM ADAM MCKAY
DIRECTOR OF "THE BIG SHORT" and "ANCHORMAN"
Steele: What is it you want?
Jeb: Well, if you could just... Find something. Like, maybe he cheated on some taxes, or maybe he said something offensive.
Steele: I'll start in Russia.
Jeb: Russia?
Steele: Russia.
Jeb: Why... why would you start in Russia?
Steele: Everything bad usually happens in Russia.
Jeb: ... Oh. [Smirks] Hey. We're kind of like James Bond and M, huh. Yeah, I'm M and you're George Lazenby.
[Steele stares, stone-faced.]
LATER
[Jeb sits in his pajamas reading the paper when the phone rings.]
Jeb: [Answers] Y'ello.
Steele: This is Steele. I have your information. It's big.
Jeb: Oh. Oh! No, that's okay. I'm actually out of the race. You don't have to-...
[Pause]
Jeb: ... Like.... Number 1?
John McCain (Bill Murray) stares at a document.
John McCain: .... Ha... Hahaha!
[In a hotel suite]
Trump: How bad are we talking?
Agent 1(Jordan Peele): ... Moscow, a few years ago.
Trump: ... Ah...
Agent 2(Keegan-Michael Key): Prostitution. Blackmail... Uh...
Agent 1: Illicit business ties.
Agent 2: And...
Agent 1: And...
Agent 2: Pee.
Agent 1: Yeah, pee.
Agent 2: [Nods]
Agent 1: People are probably gonna really latch onto... the pee.
Trump: ... Uhh...
[In an office]
Kellyanne Conway (Kate McKinnon): This might not be so bad, if it comes out. You know, maybe we could spin it. Like... You're improving Russian relations.
Trump: And, hey. Maybe there was a fire in the hotel.
Conway: [Winces]
Trump: ... And there wasn't any water. Someone had to put the fire out!
THE RIDICULOUS TRUE STORY
OF THE CRAZIEST SCANDAL IN AMERICAN POLITICAL HISTORY
Putin (Steve Carrell): [Chuckles nervously]
Big montage of quick cuts of shenanigans and character's reactions as the music gets to the last "Joker and the Thief" chorus repetition. Music stops.
GOLDENGATE
Trump is at press conference at Trump Tower.
Trump: No. No. Not you. No. Your organization is terrible.
COMING SOON
This is pretty good.
Bam Bam Baklava
Member
Might be waiting a long time given how these things work. Could be years.
What happened?
Knuckle Sandwich
Member
If there is concrete proof of treason they will have to. McCain isn't up for re-election right now so he would grab his balls from the cupboard and go ham.
Writer Ken Bensinger (Joseph Gordon Levitt) sits at his desk in a cubicle farm, the name "Buzzfeed" visible on the wall behind him. While looking through his e-mail, he sees a new attachment saying "You'll want to see this." He takes a sip of coffee as he scrolls before his eyes bulge and he spits out the coffee.
[Joker and the Thief by Wolfmother starts playing]
Bensinger runs into an office where Miriam Elder (Maya Rudolph) is talking to Mark Schoofs (Stanley Tucci), he's panicking and holding a freshly printed document.
Bensinger: Guys, guys! I think-... I think I have a story. About Trump.
Elder: Pfft. [Taking paper] Like anybody gives a... What the-...?!
[Jump cut to Schoofs reading it]
Schoofs: No, actually I agree. I agree with the "What the-..." [Waves his hand to imply the final unspoken word].
Elder: How does this happen?
EARLIER...
Jeb Bush (Will Ferrel): [Facing camera] Hi! I'm Jeb Bush, and I'd sure like to be your president.
Cut to:
Jeb looking disappointed in a dark room, talking to an advisor (Ben Schwartz).
Jeb: How is he beating us? I just don't get it.
[Shot of Donald Trump (Alec Baldwin) at a campaign rally]
Advisor: I thought you had an exclamation point at the end of your name! It's time to get to action!
Jeb: ... Yeah.
Advisor: Step up!
Jeb: YEAH!
Cut to:
Jeb is on a phone.
Jeb: Hey... Who would I talk to about.... Hiring a spy?
Cut to:
Christopher Steele (Liam Neeson) meets with Jeb in a car in a parking garage. He's very intense.
FROM ADAM MCKAY
DIRECTOR OF "THE BIG SHORT" and "ANCHORMAN"
Steele: What is it you want?
Jeb: Well, if you could just... Find something. Like, maybe he cheated on some taxes, or maybe he said something offensive.
Steele: I'll start in Russia.
Jeb: Russia?
Steele: Russia.
Jeb: Why... why would you start in Russia?
Steele: Everything bad usually happens in Russia.
Jeb: ... Oh. [Smirks] Hey. We're kind of like James Bond and M, huh. Yeah, I'm M and you're George Lazenby.
[Steele stares, stone-faced.]
LATER
[Jeb sits in his pajamas reading the paper when the phone rings.]
Jeb: [Answers] Y'ello.
Steele: This is Steele. I have your information. It's big.
Jeb: Oh. Oh! No, that's okay. I'm actually out of the race. You don't have to-...
[Pause]
Jeb: ... Like.... Number 1?
John McCain (Bill Murray) stares at a document.
John McCain: .... Ha... Hahaha!
[In a hotel suite]
Trump: How bad are we talking?
Agent 1(Jordan Peele): ... Moscow, a few years ago.
Trump: ... Ah...
Agent 2(Keegan-Michael Key): Prostitution. Blackmail... Uh...
Agent 1: Illicit business ties.
Agent 2: And...
Agent 1: And...
Agent 2: Pee.
Agent 1: Yeah, pee.
Agent 2: [Nods]
Agent 1: People are probably gonna really latch onto... the pee.
Trump: ... Uhh...
[In an office]
Kellyanne Conway (Kate McKinnon): This might not be so bad, if it comes out. You know, maybe we could spin it. Like... You're improving Russian relations.
Trump: And, hey. Maybe there was a fire in the hotel.
Conway: [Winces]
Trump: ... And there wasn't any water. Someone had to put the fire out!
THE RIDICULOUS TRUE STORY
OF THE CRAZIEST SCANDAL IN AMERICAN POLITICAL HISTORY
Putin (Steve Carrell): [Chuckles nervously]
Big montage of quick cuts of shenanigans and character's reactions as the music gets to the last "Joker and the Thief" chorus repetition. Music stops.
GOLDENGATE
Trump is at press conference at Trump Tower.
Trump: No. No. Not you. No. Your organization is terrible.
COMING SOON
You, sir, are a goddamn treasure.
AuthenticM
Member
Writer Ken Bensinger (Joseph Gordon Levitt) sits at his desk in a cubicle farm, the name "Buzzfeed" visible on the wall behind him. While looking through his e-mail, he sees a new attachment saying "You'll want to see this." He takes a sip of coffee as he scrolls before his eyes bulge and he spits out the coffee.
[Joker and the Thief by Wolfmother starts playing]
Bensinger runs into an office where Miriam Elder (Maya Rudolph) is talking to Mark Schoofs (Stanley Tucci), he's panicking and holding a freshly printed document.
Bensinger: Guys, guys! I think-... I think I have a story. About Trump.
Elder: Pfft. [Taking paper] Like anybody gives a... What the-...?!
[Jump cut to Schoofs reading it]
Schoofs: No, actually I agree. I agree with the "What the-..." [Waves his hand to imply the final unspoken word].
Elder: How does this happen?
EARLIER...
Jeb Bush (Will Ferrel): [Facing camera] Hi! I'm Jeb Bush, and I'd sure like to be your president.
Cut to:
Jeb looking disappointed in a dark room, talking to an advisor (Ben Schwartz).
Jeb: How is he beating us? I just don't get it.
[Shot of Donald Trump (Alec Baldwin) at a campaign rally]
Advisor: I thought you had an exclamation point at the end of your name! It's time to get to action!
Jeb: ... Yeah.
Advisor: Step up!
Jeb: YEAH!
Cut to:
Jeb is on a phone.
Jeb: Hey... Who would I talk to about.... Hiring a spy?
Cut to:
Christopher Steele (Liam Neeson) meets with Jeb in a car in a parking garage. He's very intense.
FROM ADAM MCKAY
DIRECTOR OF "THE BIG SHORT" and "ANCHORMAN"
Steele: What is it you want?
Jeb: Well, if you could just... Find something. Like, maybe he cheated on some taxes, or maybe he said something offensive.
Steele: I'll start in Russia.
Jeb: Russia?
Steele: Russia.
Jeb: Why... why would you start in Russia?
Steele: Everything bad usually happens in Russia.
Jeb: ... Oh. [Smirks] Hey. We're kind of like James Bond and M, huh. Yeah, I'm M and you're George Lazenby.
[Steele stares, stone-faced.]
LATER
[Jeb sits in his pajamas reading the paper when the phone rings.]
Jeb: [Answers] Y'ello.
Steele: This is Steele. I have your information. It's big.
Jeb: Oh. Oh! No, that's okay. I'm actually out of the race. You don't have to-...
[Pause]
Jeb: ... Like.... Number 1?
John McCain (Bill Murray) stares at a document.
John McCain: .... Ha... Hahaha!
[In a hotel suite]
Trump: How bad are we talking?
Agent 1(Jordan Peele): ... Moscow, a few years ago.
Trump: ... Ah...
Agent 2(Keegan-Michael Key): Prostitution. Blackmail... Uh...
Agent 1: Illicit business ties.
Agent 2: And...
Agent 1: And...
Agent 2: Pee.
Agent 1: Yeah, pee.
Agent 2: [Nods]
Agent 1: People are probably gonna really latch onto... the pee.
Trump: ... Uhh...
[In an office]
Kellyanne Conway (Kate McKinnon): This might not be so bad, if it comes out. You know, maybe we could spin it. Like... You're improving Russian relations.
Trump: And, hey. Maybe there was a fire in the hotel.
Conway: [Winces]
Trump: ... And there wasn't any water. Someone had to put the fire out!
THE RIDICULOUS TRUE STORY
OF THE CRAZIEST SCANDAL IN AMERICAN POLITICAL HISTORY
Putin (Steve Carrell): [Chuckles nervously]
Big montage of quick cuts of shenanigans and character's reactions as the music gets to the last "Joker and the Thief" chorus repetition. Music stops.
GOLDENGATE
Trump is at press conference at Trump Tower.
Trump: No. No. Not you. No. Your organization is terrible.
COMING SOON
I would pay to see this.
Writer Ken Bensinger (Joseph Gordon Levitt) sits at his desk in a cubicle farm, the name "Buzzfeed" visible on the wall behind him. While looking through his e-mail, he sees a new attachment saying "You'll want to see this." He takes a sip of coffee as he scrolls before his eyes bulge and he spits out the coffee.
[Joker and the Thief by Wolfmother starts playing]
Bensinger runs into an office where Miriam Elder (Maya Rudolph) is talking to Mark Schoofs (Stanley Tucci), he's panicking and holding a freshly printed document.
Bensinger: Guys, guys! I think-... I think I have a story. About Trump.
Elder: Pfft. [Taking paper] Like anybody gives a... What the-...?!
[Jump cut to Schoofs reading it]
Schoofs: No, actually I agree. I agree with the "What the-..." [Waves his hand to imply the final unspoken word].
Elder: How does this happen?
EARLIER...
Jeb Bush (Will Ferrel): [Facing camera] Hi! I'm Jeb Bush, and I'd sure like to be your president.
Cut to:
Jeb looking disappointed in a dark room, talking to an advisor (Ben Schwartz).
Jeb: How is he beating us? I just don't get it.
[Shot of Donald Trump (Alec Baldwin) at a campaign rally]
Advisor: I thought you had an exclamation point at the end of your name! It's time to get to action!
Jeb: ... Yeah.
Advisor: Step up!
Jeb: YEAH!
Cut to:
Jeb is on a phone.
Jeb: Hey... Who would I talk to about.... Hiring a spy?
Cut to:
Christopher Steele (Liam Neeson) meets with Jeb in a car in a parking garage. He's very intense.
FROM ADAM MCKAY
DIRECTOR OF "THE BIG SHORT" and "ANCHORMAN"
Steele: What is it you want?
Jeb: Well, if you could just... Find something. Like, maybe he cheated on some taxes, or maybe he said something offensive.
Steele: I'll start in Russia.
Jeb: Russia?
Steele: Russia.
Jeb: Why... why would you start in Russia?
Steele: Everything bad usually happens in Russia.
Jeb: ... Oh. [Smirks] Hey. We're kind of like James Bond and M, huh. Yeah, I'm M and you're George Lazenby.
[Steele stares, stone-faced.]
LATER
[Jeb sits in his pajamas reading the paper when the phone rings.]
Jeb: [Answers] Y'ello.
Steele: This is Steele. I have your information. It's big.
Jeb: Oh. Oh! No, that's okay. I'm actually out of the race. You don't have to-...
[Pause]
Jeb: ... Like.... Number 1?
John McCain (Bill Murray) stares at a document.
John McCain: .... Ha... Hahaha!
[In a hotel suite]
Trump: How bad are we talking?
Agent 1(Jordan Peele): ... Moscow, a few years ago.
Trump: ... Ah...
Agent 2(Keegan-Michael Key): Prostitution. Blackmail... Uh...
Agent 1: Illicit business ties.
Agent 2: And...
Agent 1: And...
Agent 2: Pee.
Agent 1: Yeah, pee.
Agent 2: [Nods]
Agent 1: People are probably gonna really latch onto... the pee.
Trump: ... Uhh...
[In an office]
Kellyanne Conway (Kate McKinnon): This might not be so bad, if it comes out. You know, maybe we could spin it. Like... You're improving Russian relations.
Trump: And, hey. Maybe there was a fire in the hotel.
Conway: [Winces]
Trump: ... And there wasn't any water. Someone had to put the fire out!
THE RIDICULOUS TRUE STORY
OF THE CRAZIEST SCANDAL IN AMERICAN POLITICAL HISTORY
Putin (Steve Carrell): [Chuckles nervously]
Big montage of quick cuts of shenanigans and character's reactions as the music gets to the last "Joker and the Thief" chorus repetition. Music stops.
GOLDENGATE
Trump is at press conference at Trump Tower.
Trump: No. No. Not you. No. Your organization is terrible.
COMING SOON
Post of the year.
the anime man
Banned
Mandrake's post... legendary. I would go see that.
If it becomes apparent that this is actually a treasonous offense, then yeah I would be pretty confident that there are enough Republicans that would be willing to jump ship and pursue impeachment. That's a long way away though, if it ever comes to pass.
I'd honestly be surprised if we get actual hard evidence on this stuff unless there is some evidence that comes to light regarding a meeting between Russia and Trump officials or some sort of money trail.
Otherwise, we can't just walk into Russia and investigate this, so our hands are tied.
Especially if it means Paul Ryan as president.
Knuckle Sandwich
Member
It's a great post but maybe don't quote the whole thing lol.
Donny has taught us that repeating something makes it more fake or more true.
[Edited because, length]
God damn it, now I need to watch this movie. TAKE ALL OF MY MONEY.
Mercury Fred
Banned
Oh yeah, this is just garden variety politics. Totally business as usual. Totals.
Yeah, if they could nuke Trump and install Ryan without any blowback from their base they would do it day of inauguration even sans actionable evidence. It's a matter of calculating at what point immediate blowback from their base (who don't give a fuck about treason unless it involves a librul) is less politically costly than permanent damage to their party.
Karsticles
Member
Treason is beyond corrupt. Don't compare politicians that take money from corporations to someone who wants to dismantle the free world.
OMG, I can't...
PhoncipleBone
Banned
The thread has come full circle now. Now to await the sequel.
Knuckle Sandwich
Member
Everyone is aware of how dirty politics and politicians on both sides are.
This is another level. Trump isn't comparable to some dickheads like Alan Greyson or Louie Gohmert. We're talking treason here. You can be put to death for treason.
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