Roommate stealing food... what should I do?

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I have a mini fridge and have never used the kitchen in the apartment because I don't want to share with roommates.
 
Mysterious said:
Thanks, I just sent a text message since he's almost never home and I never see him, except when he comes home at like 2 or 3 AM.

"How did you take the chow mein on the stove? That was my dinner for the next few days and someone took it"

Also this guy wouldn't fight. He isn't strong or big. He's a really thin Asian boy, so yeah.
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Sorry...you think that making spicy food will make an Asian leave it alone? Why do I order my food Thai hot if Asians are scared of peppers?
 
Mysterious said:
Okay this fucker just denied it.

"Hmmm nope."
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It comes in chocolate form. CHOCOLATE. FORM. It was put on this earth for the express purpose of dealing with thieving roomates.
 
Mysterious said:
Okay this fucker just denied it.

"Hmmm nope."
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You know he's full of shit.

Conversation should go

You: "Hey Bill, you need to stop eating my food. I buy something or make something for myself and when I go to eat it, it's gone."

Bill: "I didn't eat your food."

You: "Okay, well now you know not to eat my food."
 
Mysterious said:
Okay this fucker just denied it.

"Hmmm nope."
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Tell him you are almost positive it is him and it is fine if you don't want to admit it, but next time it happens you are spiking your food with hot peppers/laxatives or are going to start eating the food he buys in recompense.
 
Keyser Soze said:
Seems like he came from a home where food was cooked for him by his mom/family, and he is still in that mindset now. If so, he probably does not think he is doing anything bad.
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Take a picture of you and his mom banging, tape it to a large dinner plate, then put some delicious food on the plate. When he finishes your food, he'll see the picture and realize his mistake.

Or just follow NinjaScooter's advice.
 
I just talked to one of my other roommates (the PhD guy with the girl friend living with him).

Convo went like this:

Hey did you take the chow mein on the stove? That was my dinner for the next few days and someone took it

Nope. You have to be careful. Someone stole my food a few times too

I've had things stolen a few times before too. :\

Yea. I was gonna write a note on the fridge but didn't bother..

What did they take from you?

Frozen pizza frozen food ice cream etc
 
vikki said:
You know he's full of shit.

Conversation should go

You: "Hey Bill, you need to stop eating my food. I buy something or make something for myself and when I go to eat it, it's gone."

Bill: "I didn't eat your food."

You: "Okay, well now you know not to eat my food."
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He's clearly full of shit.

There's a very particular ingredient you can add to your food that will alleviate that, OP. It was designed to do so.
 
Mysterious said:
I just talked to one of my other roommates (the PhD guy with the girl friend living with him).

Convo went like this:

Hey did you take the chow mein on the stove? That was my dinner for the next few days and someone took it

Nope. You have to be careful. Someone stole my food a few times too

I've had things stolen a few times before too. :\

Yea. I was gonna write a note on the fridge but didn't bother..

What did they take from you?

Frozen pizza frozen food ice cream etc
Click to expand...

He's playing hard to get get

I only see one logical conclusion to this...
 
Mysterious said:
I just talked to one of my other roommates (the PhD guy with the girl friend living with him).

Convo went like this:

Hey did you take the chow mein on the stove? That was my dinner for the next few days and someone took it

Nope. You have to be careful. Someone stole my food a few times too

I've had things stolen a few times before too. :\

Yea. I was gonna write a note on the fridge but didn't bother..

What did they take from you?

Frozen pizza frozen food ice cream etc
Click to expand...

Laxatize everything.
 
Mysterious said:
I just talked to one of my other roommates (the PhD guy with the girl friend living with him).

Convo went like this:

Hey did you take the chow mein on the stove? That was my dinner for the next few days and someone took it

Nope. You have to be careful. Someone stole my food a few times too

I've had things stolen a few times before too. :\

Yea. I was gonna write a note on the fridge but didn't bother..

What did they take from you?

Frozen pizza frozen food ice cream etc
Click to expand...

Seriously. Call a house meeting that you all have to attend. So you can all hash this out.

This guy obviously has issues if his stealing food that isn't his. Then denying it.
 
Alienous said:
He's clearly full of shit.

There's a very particular ingredient you can add to your food that will alleviate that, OP. It was designed to do so.
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Dude's freeloading off his roomies. Time for the laxatives.

Also, I am getting an ad for High Roller Pizza right now. Sounds so good right now.
 
Dabanton said:
Seriously. Call a house meeting that you all have to attend. So you can all hash this out.

This guy obviously has issues if his stealing food that isn't his. Then denying it.
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This. Actually deal with this problem, not do stupid things that you see in movies that could have serious physical results in somebody that you'd then be responsible for.
 
Can you nannycam this fucker and catch him in the act? I think calling a house meeting would solve things, but goddamn if it wouldn't be better to have some evidence all ready to go when he denies it
 
That is incredibly annoying. Food doesn't just appear, sneaky eaters might as well be lifting dollars right out of our pockets.

I establish very early on with anyone I'm sharing a living space with that no one touches food that's not their unless otherwise noted. If something is communal, we say it is. If it isn't, don't even look at that shit.

You need irrefutable evidence of the culprit (via camera or witnesses), and actually talk to that guy. If you know 100% that he's the scumbag and he keeps weaseling out of your questioning, then you'll have to make some tough decisions (kicking him out, laxatives, etc).
 
Superflat said:
That is incredibly annoying. Food doesn't just appear, sneaky eaters might as well be lifting dollars right out of our pockets.

I establish very early on with anyone I'm sharing a living space with that no one touches food that's not their unless otherwise noted. If something is communal, we say it is. If it isn't, don't even look at that shit.

You need irrefutable evidence of the culprit (via camera or witnesses), and actually talk to that guy. If you know 100% that he's the scumbag and he keeps weaseling out of your questioning, then you'll have to make some tough decisions (kicking him out, laxatives, etc).
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Laxatives seems like a pretty clear way to find out who is eating the food.
 
Superflat said:
That is incredibly annoying. Food doesn't just appear, sneaky eaters might as well be lifting dollars right out of our pockets.

I establish very early on with anyone I'm sharing a living space with that no one touches food that's not their unless otherwise noted. If something is communal, we say it is. If it isn't, don't even look at that shit.

You need irrefutable evidence of the culprit (via camera or witnesses), and actually talk to that guy. If you know 100% that he's the scumbag and he keeps weaseling out of your questioning, then you'll have to make some tough decisions (kicking him out, laxatives, etc).
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I'm gone in December, so I don't care about kicking him out. Just want to protect my food for the next 4 weeks.
 
I agree with the house meeting idea first.

I would probably see how many crazy things I could get the food thief to eat (i.e. crazy food things) Like salad with catfood instead of tuna. Meal worms. Could be interesting.

Edit: of course a little bit of benefiber could do the trick
 
First of all, I would talk to all of your roommates even if it seems obvious that he is the one doing it. Secondly, you might have to put notes on your food and let everyone in the apartment know that it is not for share. If your food keeps disappearing then you might want to organize some meeting with your other roommates and see if you can get some backup from one of the non guilty parties.

Last, don't mess with the food (yet), you will need to use the bathroom too eventually, and by the looks of it, that roommate sure ain't going to clean it.
 
Mysterious said:
I'm gone in December, so I don't care about kicking him out. Just want to protect my food for the next 4 weeks.
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Go into his room and say the following.

"Okay well I gave you the chance to confess, but I guess I need to confess first now. I laced the [whatever that fucking rat just ate] with laxatives. I just wanted to warn you."

See how he reacts.

"Gotcha"
 
cover all bases by holding a house meeting in which you provide beverages, all spiked with laxatives (including yours) that way you can't lose even if you have multiple personality disorder and are eating your own food while blacking out..
 
Buy a box of laxatives, put laxatives in a drawer and leave the empty box next to the fridge. Or rip off the label and tape it to the fridge.

Just the threat of potential laxatives should make him think twice before stealing.

If nothing else this will draw things up to the surface and all involved can talk it out.
 
UltraGunner said:
Leave a note saying you rubbed one of your food items on your crotch and don't tell him which one.
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But what if mysterious ball glazing is agreeable to this thief?

If you have the gall to openly eat someone else's food, you're probably capable of all sorts of depravities.
 
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