User 100115
Banned
Considering I'm likely the only person in this thread who has actually been pregnant and birthed children, no, please don't.
So Pregnacy... From Rice grain to Watermelon...
- Thread starter Renoir
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Considering I'm likely the only person in this thread who has actually been pregnant and birthed children, no, please don't.
Renoir
Member
Ok. the point i got is to make sure shes still loved.
it was a crude statement.
As far as my Gf letting her self go..
I think that i associated with that, because im selfish.
User 100115
Banned
She is going to gain weight. It's going to be difficult to get that weight off after the baby. Her body is going to go through massive, massive changes. She going to get stretch marks. If you can't deal with that then you likely aren't ready to be a father either.
This is a huge life change, not something that can be put aside when you get bored or annoyed by it.
Omegasquash
Member
She's going to gain weight. She basically has to. If you want to be a supportive partner, lead by example and do the right thing. Help her. Her body is going to go through shit you and I will never understand, and I've seen both a section and a vbac. Let's not forget about her internal organs not having the real estate they used to, the acid reflux, constant peeing (that shit is real), the human being inside of her that moves around and sometimes kicks her in the ribs...
I'm just saying that if she's having a shitty day because of OR on top of all that, it's AOK if she wants to get down on a bacon double cheeseburger. Or two. If it becomes a habit just be straight up...you care about her, you care about her, you care about her. She takes it for granted that you care about the baby because you do, and your actions will show that, but if it shows that you care about her, you'll be taking lots of weight off of her. Pun intended.
Yep. I played through most of Mass Effect 2 with a baby sleeping on me.
Renoir
Member
I know that. Im coping.
like i said im selfish. I do hope that she doesnt feel like she can let herself go.. I mean i work out. I try to make sure i stay together so she dont leave me for some other schmuck. I want her to feel she has a catch. Pregnancy come and go. And the effects that comes with it should go as well (i know its not instantaneous )
Thats just the asshole in me. I am understanding though as i know that things do change in life. I know this is a sensitive spot on this topic and i apologize for my rudness, if your offended by it.
User 100115
Banned
You'll be happy to know that a lot of men report finding themselves very attracted to their pregnant wives. Even attracted to them after birth before they lose the weight.
When we are pregnant and directly after, our hormones really, really fuck us over. Any inkling of 'wow, remember not to get TOO fat' is going to really fuck with her emotions at a time when she needs be as stress free as possible. If she breast feeds the weight will come off easier.
Also, a single pregnancy can change a woman's body for life. Stretch marks are the big one, weight can be another, hell I have scars from my three (three c-sections
). She is not going to be the same afterward. My first two pregnancies I dropped the weight pretty easily. My last one was difficult and nearly killed us both and required two surgeries so it was much harder. I doubt I'll ever be my incredibly underweight pre pregnancy weight, but I am still very much in the healthy weight range.OP when i knew my wife was pregnant i switched the online games for offline ones with the exception of fighters, they're great for taking care of the baby since you can enjoy them in short bursts.
Also, after my baby girl was born, i helped my wife watching the baby when i got home from work, giving her enough time to sleep or do whatever she needed, so there's another window for gaming there.
Now my girl just turned 3, there's no way to do anything screen-related before she sleeps since she's old enough to get interested in whatever i'm into, even checking forums.
Also, after my baby girl was born, i helped my wife watching the baby when i got home from work, giving her enough time to sleep or do whatever she needed, so there's another window for gaming there.
Now my girl just turned 3, there's no way to do anything screen-related before she sleeps since she's old enough to get interested in whatever i'm into, even checking forums.
Great advice.
My boy just turned 3 months old and he is finally getting really good at sleep.
I knew going in sleep would not longer be regular or much but man those first 2 weeks were rough. He would get hungry every 2 hours, then it would take another 30-40 minutes to burp him, and then if we were lucky he would be sleepy. If not then obviously one of us had to entertain him or tire him out.
But it really is amazing. I loved babies before my own but I never picked up a baby younger than 5-6 months old. Felt too fragile and I wasn't sure of myself. With my son its completely different.
Now the biggest problem is that since we strictly breast fed him direct from the source, its near impossible to get him to take the pumped milk from a bottle. Training him over the past few days but he just hates it.
Trust me though when the interact with you and have this huge smile on their face...its like everything else doesn't matter and everything is ok in the world.
my wife is 8 months pregnant. She's due in August we're super excited.
Every pregnancy is different. Some women get morning sickness some dont. And its not really morning sickness, it can occur any time of day. My wife didnt get sick but she would feel nauseated sometimes and certain foods really put her off. She was having a really hard time breathing recently, thankfully she says she felt the baby drop a little bit in the past few days which is giving her some relief.
I'm wondering how any of you have time to game without children let alone with, the last game I played was Uncharted 2, last year.
Every pregnancy is different. Some women get morning sickness some dont. And its not really morning sickness, it can occur any time of day. My wife didnt get sick but she would feel nauseated sometimes and certain foods really put her off. She was having a really hard time breathing recently, thankfully she says she felt the baby drop a little bit in the past few days which is giving her some relief.
I'm wondering how any of you have time to game without children let alone with, the last game I played was Uncharted 2, last year.
BaronLundi
Member
Renoir
Member
You'll be happy to know that a lot of men report finding themselves very attracted to their pregnant wives. Even attracted to them after birth before they lose the weight.
When we are pregnant and directly after, our hormones really, really fuck us over. Any inkling of 'wow, remember not to get TOO fat' is going to really fuck with her emotions at a time when she needs be as stress free as possible. If she breast feeds the weight will come off easier.
Also, a single pregnancy can change a woman's body for life. Stretch marks are the big one, weight can be another, hell I have scars from my three (three c-sections
I got strechh marks.. :>
Im not perfect either. im living, im learning. im hoping for the best.
Playing games with pause. that really look like the ticket to winning.
Also , ill be making about 40k on my own. i know she probably wont be working within the 1st year. (can she work earlier) will i make it?
joeyjoejoeshabadoo
Member
Telling a woman who's hormones are all out of whack she's fat...yeah that will end well.
I remember the first days after my little girl was born, we were extremely cautious, i pretty much had the same fears you have now, all the "what if"s and fears of breaking her little bones even after the slightest contact, i cannot express how cautious we were about everything.
That changed after we got used to it, i'd say a week or two, then all became normal.
The fact is babies are really resilient, just be careful with their little necks in the first months.
Also, don't freak out if his/her eyes suddenly look like Big Baby from Toy Story 3, that's normal and should go away around the sixth month.
There's lots of little things babies do but i won't spoil the fun for you
, seriously, if you have some doubts ask them here and i will answer them in the best way i can, and i'm pretty sure the rest of Parent-GAF will do too.
I'm sure you will do fine OP, you just need some patience, and a whole lotta love.
That changed after we got used to it, i'd say a week or two, then all became normal.
The fact is babies are really resilient, just be careful with their little necks in the first months.
Also, don't freak out if his/her eyes suddenly look like Big Baby from Toy Story 3, that's normal and should go away around the sixth month.
There's lots of little things babies do but i won't spoil the fun for you
, seriously, if you have some doubts ask them here and i will answer them in the best way i can, and i'm pretty sure the rest of Parent-GAF will do too.I'm sure you will do fine OP, you just need some patience, and a whole lotta love.
Pauly Math
Neo Member
OP, this book answered all my questions:
Expecting 411
My wife is due in about 10 weeks, and I can't begin to tell you how great this book has been.
There's a follow up too, called Baby 411, which is highly regarded by the pediatricians I work with.
Expecting 411
My wife is due in about 10 weeks, and I can't begin to tell you how great this book has been.
There's a follow up too, called Baby 411, which is highly regarded by the pediatricians I work with.
PeakPointMatrix
Member
Don't shake the baby.
You forgot baby colic
Very true. One of mine was colicy and nothing seemed to help. Luckily it only lasted a few months.
Dude Abides
Banned
I have a one week old. Your primary concern seems to be maintaining your gaming schedule. You need to reevaluate your priorities.
Renoir
Member
Didn't think they're would be so many parents here. Thank you.
thanks to all the non parent that participate in the convo as well.
We have this thing in the dota thread the older populace is called #jurrasicdota
Knowing im going to be a father made me age instantly in my mind. I'm 29.
I feel and remember all the stuff older people has been telling me my whole is happening to me now. Especially the not being to play games part.
Im really hoping its not as strict as they made it sound to be.
I just wanted to see if im still able to do the things i love to do.
You never got involved in something whether its video games or riding motorcycle and now you cant do it any more because of the child.
wont that sadden you a bit?
thanks to all the non parent that participate in the convo as well.
We have this thing in the dota thread the older populace is called #jurrasicdota
Knowing im going to be a father made me age instantly in my mind. I'm 29.
I feel and remember all the stuff older people has been telling me my whole is happening to me now. Especially the not being to play games part.
Im really hoping its not as strict as they made it sound to be.
I guess it seems that way. Especially with the episode with babysitting. But iam a gamer. Baby is going to be a major part of my life.
I just wanted to see if im still able to do the things i love to do.
You never got involved in something whether its video games or riding motorcycle and now you cant do it any more because of the child.
wont that sadden you a bit?
Dude Abides
Banned
I understand. I have 1000 hours in Dota over the last year. Now that my daughter's here I havent touched a game in a week. Maybe it will get better as she ages, maybe not. But that's life. You can't be a kid forever.
RustyNails
Member
My wife wants me to be jn the room when baby is delivered, but I dont think I can take all the blood, screaming and other icky stuff
Omegasquash
Member
My wife wants me to be jn the room when baby is delivered, but I dont think I can take all the blood, screaming and other icky stuff
Yes you can. You'll cry man tears when you see your child born. Want me to give you a run down on how my children were born?
Hint:
There will be blood
RustyNails
Member
Dammit. I will faint. Is it mean if I say I will stand outside? :3
One of the most beautiful things I have ever seen was watching my daughter enter this world. It was amazing to witness.
To OP:
Parenting cannot be taught, it is basically learned as you go. There are tips of course, but nobody can tell you how to parent and raise your child. It is daunting I know, but it will come naturally and you will not even think twice about certain things.
Also your gaming habits will die out for awhile, expect it, as they should. Your focus should be on your child, not your games. Squeeze in a game or two when you can, but don't expect to be playing DOTA for a few matches without your kid needing your attention and care.
Congrats to you and your lady, wish you all the best with your little one
Dude Abides
Banned
My wife wants me to be jn the room when baby is delivered, but I dont think I can take all the blood, screaming and other icky stuff
That's weak man. My wife had forceps and an episiotomy. It looked like someone took a chainsaw to her crotch, but abandoning her because of squeamishness would be some low shit.
brotherbean
Member
Learn to pursue your interests while baby is sleeping, which will be the majority of the time for the first little while. They're not babies for long so don't neglect them for anything while they're awake.
You'll learn what the different cries mean. It might take a while, depending on how observant you are, but eventually you'll notice quite a difference between "I'm tired" and "I'm hungry" and so on.
I think you should forget about the whole "letting herself go" thing. At this point, your girlfriend has fulfilled her evolutionary need for being attractive, and this should be nowhere near the top of your list of concerns. Some women lose it immediately, some take a while and some don't lose it at all. If she brings it up, be positive and encouraging. If she doesn't bring it up, I don't think you should either.
Also, congrats! Best of luck to you guys.
You'll learn what the different cries mean. It might take a while, depending on how observant you are, but eventually you'll notice quite a difference between "I'm tired" and "I'm hungry" and so on.
I think you should forget about the whole "letting herself go" thing. At this point, your girlfriend has fulfilled her evolutionary need for being attractive, and this should be nowhere near the top of your list of concerns. Some women lose it immediately, some take a while and some don't lose it at all. If she brings it up, be positive and encouraging. If she doesn't bring it up, I don't think you should either.
Also, congrats! Best of luck to you guys.
When the child is young and needs constant attention, gaming will be limited. Anything you enjoy outside of the child will be limited. Sleep will be limited. It's the way it is. Baby is a big responsibility. However as the child gets older, they will require less direct hands on and you'll have more time to do the things you enjoy. My son is 6 years old and can play outside by himself, play the kindle and ipod and watch netflix all independently. I can get a couple hours of gaming in if it's just me at home watching him while my wife works.
That said, he still really enjoys it if I'm outside with him playing baseball or playing cars. The kid is always going to be a part of your life and you'll have to strike a balance. The 30 hours of gaming per week is probably gone now. But you can take the gaming in moderation and still enjoy it. I'm a huge gamer and I'll still get my time in.
New baby on the way right now though so I'm starting over again in a few weeks. Back to no gaming for a bit.
My wife wants me to be jn the room when baby is delivered, but I dont think I can take all the blood, screaming and other icky stuff
Stand by her and hold her hand and encourage her. Don't you dare be a dick and leave at the most crucial time. You don't have to look at the icky stuff (which isn't all that bad), but you have to support her. Don't leave her side, tell her encouraging things and be there the whole way through. You are her support person and you need to be there.
Omegasquash
Member
Be a man and hold her hand! If you can't deal with blood, then stay back and hold her hand, don't be in the range. It's a human coming out of a birth canal...bound to be stretching, blood, pushing, stress and god knows what else. You can never know walking in, unless it's a section. Then you know exactly what you're walking into.
And even then, there's blood. I saw my wife before they closed her up. Neat thing is, I didn't give a shit, because I was hauling ass after my son who was on his way up to the NICU since he was early and underweight. Adrenaline kicks in and you give no fucks. Because you just saw how people get made, and that people is half you.
Renoir
Member
man i was thiking that way.
Rolling my cigar and be in the waiting room with the boys..
But i guess the least i could do is be in the room and be a cheerleader.
I was wondering even if i should cut the cord. I dont want to fok up and the baby has an outi.
I figure the doc is getting paid to do it right i should let him.
Omegasquash
Member
It was the sound, you know. The snipping sound...I had a bird's eye view and it's the sound that I still remember about that particular bit.
Lol the nurses would have you hung by your feet. Not that way anymore...gotta go in there and be a man.
brotherbean
Member
Good lord man, really? I feel like you could learn a lot from a very generic book on what to expect for new fathers.
I can't believe they still do episiotomys. That's like using leeches to bleed out the bad humors.
"We want to prevent possible tearing by cutting the shit out of it". So instead of healing from some small tearing, you are healing from a major cut - which may tear even more after the cut!
"We want to prevent possible tearing by cutting the shit out of it". So instead of healing from some small tearing, you are healing from a major cut - which may tear even more after the cut!
Renoir
Member
Omegasquash
Member
Just a taste (admittedly poor choice of words) of what women go through in growing another person inside their body and getting it out.
Renoir
Member
Y isnt by now a better way to do this though?
edit: There are streching creams.. why not use that couple of weeks prior to the birth to accommodate the childs passing trough?
That cut they make .. man, the woman is already in pain as it is, and now there is something else to make it more painful.
Fkn Hell...
This is true for women that have multiple pregnancies. My wife had a harder time with her first pregnancy, but her emotional state is very different after the second. The weight came right off after the first and it's a little harder after the second and it's frustrating her. The weight doesn't bother me, her wanting it off is strictly for her. I want it off of her because I know she would feel better about herself.
Don't worry about the sex. If you get it, cool, but if you don't, too bad. In my wife's case, from pregnancy to pregnancy it was like polar opposites. One she couldn't get enough, before and after and the other her hormones haven't returned to normal. There is shit that is and will continue to change during and post pregnancy. It could take her a long time to get back to feeling ok and it's best to just be supportive. And don't be a total creep about the sex.
Omegasquash
Member
It's either they cut it and mind it, or the baby potentially tears the area...that can happen too. And stretching cream is mostly bullshit. Just accept that stretch marks are going to happen. Doesn't detract from your woman at all. They just are what they are.
Also, the woman is in pain, but if it's done after the shot (oh boy!) they likely won't feel it. Numbs them below the legs for a time.
RustyNails
Member
I have seen the goriest crap on the internet from the days of gorish, but somehow baby birth is making me squeemish. I think I will just stand as far as I can while holding hand and close my eyes until I hear crying noises.
It's pretty incredible to literally be in the thick of it. I'm a squeamish kinda guy myself but when it came to the birth of my children I'm really glad that I was there. I was the first thing my daughter saw in this world.
Except cutting the cord. Fuck that. Ugh. Still gives me the heebie jeebies.
Omegasquash
Member
Focus on her, man. Likely the squeamishness is coming from the thought that this is your partner and holy fuck what's happening to her. It's cool man, we've been doing this for longer than we've been human.
Get down there, hold a leg and a hand at the same time. Keep focused on her face and breath with her. Help her push (you can do that). Be the first to hold that baby. I've referenced it before, but it's kind of like this:
Only you're Optimus, obviously.
Dude Abides
Banned
All I remember is thinking "how the fuck is all that fitting in ther?" And then the head coming out.
A straight cut sutures and heals easier than a jagged rip, is what I was told.
A woman's elastin is going to be 10000% more effective than any "stretching cream." You might wanna consider taking a birthing class with your GF.
Angry Grimace
Two cannibals are eating a clown. One turns to the other and says "does something taste funny to you?"
"You are already dad" would have been acceptable as well.
CrudeDiatribe
Member
You could let her and the baby die, I guess.
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