*clears throat*
For those of you just joining us...
...
fuck
The PP not only won again the elections, but it managed to regain a significant number of votes and came at a stone's throw from achieving a supermajority in alliance with Ciudadanos, sending chills down the spine of every left leaning voter in a country ravaged first by the crisis and then by austerity. But what is more important, it's still ways from forming a stable government, which means the situation remains thoroughly fucked. How the hell this happened? I think pollsters, academics and politicians are going to be scratching their heads for a good while.
Now that dust has settled...
PP: Despite being hit with what could easily amount to the worst political scandal since the
GAL, the Popular Party miraculously overperformed, won back most of the votes lost to Ciudadanos, crushed the PSOE nationwide and made a mockery of Unidos Podemos, who still don't know what hit them. And not only that, but they have the Senate on lock. It looks like the PP hit its electoral bottom during the previous election, meaning that it could only grow from there. The strategy of fear worked wonders, with the PP positioning itself as the only defence against an united pseudocommunist front and becoming the sole receiver of the so called "useful vote", who flew back from Ciudadanos after the party outed itself as a low cost, rebranded version of the PP. It turns out that people prefer the original to the copy.
What is incredibly disconcerting is that the PP improved their previous results in Catalonia (where they are complicit in destroying the healthcare system as made apparent by the wiretap scandal) and Valencia (which was pillaged to bankruptcy by the PP) of all the possible places. This makes no sense at all. Then there's also that should be said about the hidden PP voter, who never shows up until the day after.
PSOE: Here's the party that is trying to portray their worst result ever and a loss of five seats as a resounding triumph because Unidos Podemos didn't fuck them over. What else needs to be said? They lost at Extremadura and Andalucía, wasted a large amount of political capital during the elections and may now probably abstain so the PP can lord over while they lick their wounds.
Unidos Podemos: They may be the biggest losers in this mess despite the appearances. Although Unidos Podemos "kept" the previous 71 seats left by Podemos and Unidad Popular, they lost over a million votes compared to the previous numbers held by Podemos + Unidad Popular as separate parties, which could have accrued them a total of 85 seats to equal those of the PSOE. Polls grotesquely oversold their prospects. This makes me believe that either a large amount of their voters didn't bother to show up or polls were only conducted in big cities, where UP is extremely strong compared to smaller towns and rural areas. Either case, this is an unmitigated disaster for the party. They lost popular support, left good seats to waste and probably poisoned the well for Izquierda Unida.
At this point I don't know if Unidad Popular/Izquierda Unida will stay latched to Podemos. It looks like the sudden turn of Podemos towards socialdemocracy soured a lot of IU's eurocommunist base (more often than not hell bent on moral purity) while Iglesias' less belligerent tone, so carefully crafted, catastrophically failed at seducing the PSOE's vote and electrify both old time IU followers and a significant mass of left leaning disenfranchised citizens who previously voted for Podemos. They've been left with little political capital to spend and now must pray for the PSOE's implossion. The PP has shown that the strategy of fear works, so they may as well go back to their old and more vitriolic discourse. Podemos will be totally left out of any potential government after believing their own hype and caressing the presidency.
Ciudadanos: Got massively fucked by the PP. Their regenerationist discourse failed in the face of the PP's "let's build a wall against Podemos" one and Rivera went all the way to show himself as an unreliable actor willing to fuck over partners and ideals for a cabinet position. C's will probably mendicate for a new PP-led government, but even if the PSOE sits on its collective ass and allows Rajoy's investment, it remains unsure if the PP will reward their largely unneeded support with a couple of unimportant seats in the government just to they won't bitch too much at the parliament, where they won't pose a huge threat in the face of a broken house.
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Honestly, at this point I don't know what will happen now. The PSOE is a colossal mess, but Susana Díaz won't be able to safely oust Sánchez from leadership after the beating taken in Andalucía. They *need* to fight back with teeth and nails against the PP, but Podemos' menace remains there and they may even allow a minority government under certain assurances from the PP since their need to regroup is much more pressing than fighting a strong and revitalised enemy that trounces them in terms of seats and popular support. It's either that or going for a third round, which could yield unexpected but probably not dissimilar results.