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[sonycowboy]

Yeah, It's Spike TV. The true gaming channel!. G4 did a bang up job this year, but this should provide some fodder for the boards.

Written by Matthew Gallant
Thursday, 02 June 2005

SpikeTV has big plans for you on June 7th, my gaming friend. First they're going to warm you up by showing you the movie Mortal Kombat: Annihilation. Like fine scotch, the eight years of aging this movie has undergone will bring out its best qualities. I imagine most gamers at this point will have their souls satisfied, having watched a movie about a videogame. But Spike at that point will go in for the kill, for afterwards is the first televised presentation of the E3 Critics Awards. As awards go, it's the only one that critics from the various publications all team up to award, instead of the normal practice of each little fiefdom trumpeting their picks to their readership, who then call them all biased and dumb.

The downside to this abnormal cooperative spirit is that the games that compete in the E3 Critics Awards are often little more than brief, highly polished five minute snippets of games; façades that are specifically constructed for E3 to make the game look as nice as possible. Essentially, it's like giving awards to movie trailers. Classic winners include: Best Simulation Game of 2001, The Sims Online; 1999's Best of Show, Freelancer, which ended up not coming out until four years later and being just kind of a decent game; and 1999's Best Action Game, the as-yet unreleased Team Fortress 2.

After the world's best and brightest try their darndest not to laud next year's vaporware, you can wash it all down with Spike's understated, insightful, and nuanced look at the future of the industry, humbly titled THE ULTIMATE GAMER: E3, where they'll condense the thousand or so games on show at the expo this year into 30 minutes of astonishing depth.

 

[Prince of Space]

I imagine most gamers at this point will have their souls satisfied, having watched a movie about a videogame

:lol :lol :lol :lol :lol :lol
Fuck off.

 

[Belfast]

How many EA games you think they can fit into half an hour?

 

[typhonsentra]

Seriously, why are the critic's picks for E3 always so lame? Why do they always go for the "Promising" PC game rather than a sure thing (Barring Half-Life 2 of course)?

 

[Juice]

hey guys! I just, like, totally got back from the award show taping and have this massive spoiler to share with all of you!

Spoiler

Zelda wins best game!

 

[Wario64]

Opening line for the E3 special: "GAME OF E3 GOES TO MADDEN NFL 2006"

 

[Mr. Lemming]

I'm not falling for this again. The two VGA shows have taught me a lesson.

 

[Drensch]

Seriously, why are the critic's picks for E3 always so lame?
Because this is who the critics are:


Maxim USA Today Time OXM PSM (unofficial) Game-Revolution Vibe Magazine Gannett News Service G4 Entertainment Weekly Gamepro GamesMania/Sympatico.ca PC Gamer CNN/Money Rolling Stone LA Times Game Informer Seattle Post (Steve Kent) Electric Playground & Judgement Day (Victor Lucas) Gamespy Business 2.0 (Geoff Keighley) Gamespot EGM The Washington Post Yahoo! Games Domain Computer Gaming World "Hollywood Reporter" (John Gaudiosi) UGO Ziff Davis Media Game Group Newsweek Comcast.net IGN Official PSM

and only a few of those are even a little bit respectable.

 

[explodet]

SpikeTV has big plans for you on June 7th, my gaming friend. First they're going to warm you up by showing you the movie Mortal Kombat: Annihilation. Like fine scotch, the eight years of aging this movie has undergone will bring out its best qualities.

If this analogy can be brought to this movie, it should equally be applied to movies like Kangaroo Jack and You Got Served.
Or other things, like 8 years of aging bringing out the best in mayonnaise.

Anyway, who wants to bet they never once mention the DS in this program?

 

[Tenacious-V]

I'll watch it just to see how bad it is.....

 

[Fuzzy]

The award show is only 5-minutes long and they'll only be announcing the winners for 5 categories. I posted about it in the E3 Awards 2005 Nominees Announced thread.

 

[djm19]

I have always said that the best awards shows would be televised versions of GDC or AIAS. But Im not so sure how good E3 critics awards are. I mean...who cares...its just E3, the awards mean nothing.

awards show: 5 minutes
product placement and commercials: 25 minutes

 

[Soundwave 2k4]

heres hoping its even half as funny as the train wreck that is the regular spiketv game awards

 

[skip]

heres hoping its even half as funny as the train wreck that is the regular spiketv game awards

I heard pontiac GTO 2 was shown behind closed-doors...

 

[sonycowboy]

Don't forget that this gem of a show is on tonight.

Head-To-Head with G4's Video Vixens!!!! :lol

 

[Scalemail Ted]

SpikeTV is a bad influence for the video game industry. They should go find some better friends to hang with.

 

[Wario64]

Don't forget that this gem of a show is on tonight.

Head-To-Head with G4's Video Vixens!!!! :lol

wow, what a terrible night. i'll be playing ninja gaiden instead

 

[dorio]

Even if this show was actually good, would anyone here claim it as being so. No.

 

[mj1108]

Don't forget that this gem of a show is on tonight.

Head-To-Head with G4's Video Vixens!!!! :lol

Oh god.

 

[Scalemail Ted]

Even if this show was actually good, would anyone here claim it as being so. No.

Seeing as its aired by SpikeTV...I dont think that'll be a problem.


C'mon its like saying sp0nq might be a good place to read up on current events..its just not gonna happen.

 

[CyberCooper]

Spike TV, Tuesday June 7th, 9pm to midnight
featuring:

Allard
Barrera
Bleszinski
Boulding
Clarke
Croal
Fils-Aime
Flower
Gaudiosi
Hirai
Keighley
Kennedy
Kojima
LT
Morris
Rome-Otero
Saltzman
Smith
Snider
Strauser
Twista
Vondrak
Zamkoff
Zampella

 

[acidviper]

Spike TV, Tuesday June 7th, 9pm to midnight
featuring:

Allard
Barrera
Bleszinski
Boulding
Clarke
Croal
Fils-Aime
Flower
Gaudiosi
Hirai
Keighley
Kennedy
Kojima
LT
Morris
Rome-Otero
Saltzman
Smith
Snider
Strauser
Twista
Vondrak
Zamkoff
Zampella

Where is teh Velocity Girl?

 

[mcdonnell]

Major Nelson posted about this on his blog, www.majornelson.com

 

[Gattsu25]

wait...I wasn't really paying attention...is there even going to be an E3 show or is all the E3 footage going to be sandwiched between MK ANNIHILATION and commercial breaks?

edit: Holy shit this movie looks crappy so far :lol

 

[Kleegamefan]

Zoe Flower GET!!!

 

[GDGF]

Zoe Flower GET!!!

Not watching, but she is a hottie with a hippie name.

 

[Senretsu]

"can you dig it!"

 

[typhonsentra]

http://zoeflower.1up.com/

Cute little thing, isn't she?

 

[Kleegamefan]

this movie is painful....

 

[Kleegamefan]

"Major Motion PIT-CHURE!!!" :lol

 

[typhonsentra]

It really is the worst movie ever mad, isn't it? My favorite line:

"Do you like it? It's my... ANIMALITY!"

 

[typhonsentra]

Gah! The line was even worse than what I remembered!

 

[Agent Dormer]

I'm attempting to liveblog the game stuff. Here's a link, but if it sucks it's not my fault!

http://www.agentdormer.com/?p=55#more-55

 

[typhonsentra]

Ah, the infamous mud wrastlin' scene...

 

[StarscreamLSU]

WTF was with that really bad CGI zombie dinosaur???

Well, look on the bright side, at least it's not Street Fighter. Wish they would have shown the Wizard or something...

 

[Kleegamefan]

Catfight in the making

Jax is all over that asian love....

Oh snippity-snap!!They just showed the new Blitz game and some defensive back just ran down a player with the ball, ripped off the offensive players helmet and beat him over the head with his own helmet :lol :lol

 

[typhonsentra]

Im gonna cleanse my pallet with Gigli and Videogame Vixens. Tell me who the top 5 were please.

 

[StarscreamLSU]

Jax is all over that asian love....

Looks like Raiden was trying to hone in on that action as well. Maybe that's why he dissed Jax's arms :lol

 

[Agent Dormer]

So much fodder. So, so much.

 

[Agent Dormer]

Oh my, that dialogue was so stilted:
Zoey: Ghost Recon 3 is so stunning it's scary.
Geoff: Well Zoey, scary isn't stopping me.

 

[Kleegamefan]

So thats it then??? WTF??

They cut Zoe off :lol

 

[ratcliffja]

I agree with all those choices, though I somewhat question awarding Best of Show to a nonplayable demo. With that said, Spore looks to be the most ambitious game ever conceived and deserves tons of praise.

 

[typhonsentra]

Holy crap, Rod still lives with his mom!

 

[typhonsentra]

I'm not surprised by Spore winning. "Ambitious" games always win, even though it's safe to say that the game won't come near meeting expectations.

 

[Kleegamefan]

OH SHYTE Gears of War look hawt!!11

 

[Timan]

This be the kewlest show I've seen on tv, w00t.

 

[Speevy]

Hey Activision, over here. College degree, double major in Marketing and Management. I want a job.

 

[Kleegamefan]

Trust me, you do not want a job in testing...

I used to work as a tester for Malibu Interactive back in the day.....thankless job....

 

[StarscreamLSU]

I don't know about some of you guys, but I feel a little better about myself. Gaming may rule parts of my life, but at least I can say I've never lost a job because of it. :lol

 

[typhonsentra]

Hold on, that guy lost his job over video games? And even with how crappy his life was, he seemed pretty casual for the "Ultimate Gamer".