Your whole post was spot-on, and this in particular is really important. It's upsetting as hell when in this thread people call out something shitty and get dog-piled for it. Oh am I speaking from experience? Yeah, I am.
One of the worst things about the rampant sexism/racism/homophobia/transphobia/etc that exists in anime, and in fact all media, is that most fans just sweep it under the rug like it doesn't matter. "Well, it doesn't affect me!" Too bad, because it affects society. You can ignore it all you want, but it is harmful, and by ignoring it you are accepting it. Accepting it makes you part of the problem.
Seems like people really have trouble tackling the idea that it's okay to like something while also acknowledging and calling out its flaws. It's embarrassing how many people are willing to shit all over an entire work for having a few minor story hiccups, or gameplay that isn't quite perfect, but if it has underage girls in erotic situations, or blatantly racist stereotypes, well, if you don't like it, you can just ignore it, so it's okay!
Gross.