ZvZ is my best matchup it feels like. 14/14 should be safe from any cheese. if you are losing to 6 pools its because you arent microing it properly. On maps where the natural isnt gigantically wide open (xel'naga) ill always go for a 15 hatch.
For 14/14 openings I pump lings once the pool is up, I do not stop (maybe add in a drone here and there) if the other player is also doing lings. You can afford the expansion around 21 food. Just try to match his ling count if he is doing the same, careful of banelings. When I feel safe ill toss down the roach warren and go back to droning, if I suspect any incoming all-ins ill toss up some spines beforehand (usually you can tell what they are doing based on their drone counts, keep overlords around to scout for that). From there I take gasses, get ups and get to infestors.
Alternativley, if he transitions into roaches too early or doesn't take your lings seriously it is time to go fucking kill him. Underproducing lings means you can just 1a into his base. For roaches I will get an evo chamber and go for +1 melee and do a timing attack, usually this decision is made early on. This is usually enough to stomp them.
The late game is such a shitshow so I won't get into it for now, it sounds like your trouble is early game so just focus on that for now. If games do go on long just be smart about expanding and trying to deny his expansions, thats enough to decide the game.
Hope that helps.
