Stripper posts insane story on Twitter with more twists than a Shonda Rhimes script

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CountAntonius said:
If true(which is very possible) it's sad as fuck this kinda of shit happens. The only funny thing was the absurdity of it all but because it's possibly real I can't laugh as much as be sick to my stomach by it all. Fucking humanity sometimes.
Click to expand...

If it's true then everyone's ended up in a pretty good situation except for Z, his fiance, and the Nigga wit dreads that Jarret was smoking wit at the run down Motel who Z shot in the face.

It seriously wraps up like a film

Jarret went on to find a woman he seems to be happy with

Jess found a nice dude who looks like Neil Patrick Harris to settle down with and take care of her family.

Z and his fiance are in jail

And Zola will go on to sell a movie script for millions.
 
The Adder said:
Jarret: A Visionary robbed of his Future
Jess: A Sniper deprived of her Words
Z : A Ghost without a Past
Nigga wit dreads that Jarret was smoking wit at the run down Motel: A Rival living a Lie
Zola : A Fallen Legend
Click to expand...

Holy shit. I laughed more at this than the story. But it wouldn't be nearly as funny without the context of the story. Spot on.
 
Angelus Errare said:
For those who are insistent that they can't understand the story and the words don't make sense of them.

I wrote it in a way that you can instantly understand. So you too can laugh and stop embarrassing yourself in this thread.

Forbidden Love pt 1.
Mangaka - Zola R. Moon
Translations by k4w411_Kurojin

So Zola-chan met this baka-gaijin Jess at Hooters, Zola-chan was Jess-chan's cafe maid she was so kawaii, totemo kawaii. Jess-chan came in their with her onii-chan black man. Zola-chan being a cafe maid sat down with Jess-chan and her onii-chan and they started talking. Apparently Jess-chan's onii-chan gives her kane (translator's note: money). They were bonding and becoming tomodachis (friends). They exchange numbers feeling like their meeting was destiny and continue talking for quite some time.

The next day, Jess-chan sends Zola-chan a message saying "Onee-san! Let's got to Florida!! :3", She tells Zola-chan she wants to dance in Florida, and Zola-chan is like "hai!!" Zola-chan's waifu didn't want her to go, so she had the sex with him (translator's note: sex) then left with Jess-chan to Florida.

Zola-chan gets in the car and meets another one of Jess-chan's onii-chans, they are blackman2-chan, and Jarret-chan. Jarret-chan and Jess-chan are in love love (translator's note: in love) and blackman2-chan just lives with them. They get to the motel and Jess-chan tells Zola-chan that this room is for Jarret-chan and then they head off for the club (translator's note: A place were people dance and watch others dance, totemo ecchi).

Zola-chan dances at the club and makes 930,000 Yen. Jess-chan tells Zola-chan that blackman2-chan was her pimp, unfortunately Jarrett-chan didn't know this (strike 1). Blackman2-chan comes up and he's like "how much did you girls make me? :3" and they tell him nothing (usotsuki!). He is pretty sad because his real waifu also had a bad night. Because they had a bad night he asks if they want to trap (translator's note: He means do they want sex older gentlemen for kane like schoolgirls!). Jess-chan is like "hai!!!"

They pull up to a different hotel and Jess-chan and Zola-chan start arguing. Zola-chan doesn't trap she is just a stripper so she yells at poor Jess-chan like a baka. Jess-chan starts crying saying she's scared and doesn't want Zola-chan to leave her all alone. Jess-chan tells Zola-chan that she can just check the guys, she doesn't have to trap (translator's note: have sex with men for money). Zola-chan decides to stay and protect Jess-chan!

First guy knocks at the door and he's an older uaito piggu and says he's here for Jess-chan, Jess-chan and uaito piggu have sex. Zola-chan is shocked! @_@ because Jess-chan says she that her price for sex is only 110,000 Yen! Zola-chan decided to help Jess-chan make more kane by putting her profile on an ecchi site setting the price at 650,000 Yen minimum!

Jess-chan is bukakke'ed by 20 guys and makes 5,550,000Yen (sugoi!). Jarrett-chan calls asking where Zola-chan and Jess-chan are, they usotsuki (translator's note: lie) and say they went to another maid cafe. He doesn't believe her and tells Zola-chan to not be a baka slut like Jess-chan.

A few hours later blackman2-chan comes and he asks how much Jess-chan made, she told him the truth (5,550,000 yen). He's shocked and goes "sugoi!!" dou yatte?!" and she's like Zola-chan helped me! :3. He takes the money from Jess-chan and gives Zola-chan 500,000 yen. He doesn't give Jess-chan any because she hasn't paid her rent in months T_T.

They all leave to go back to Jarrett's hotel and he's downstairs smoking weed with a random Florida-san. Blackman2-chan asks who that guy is and Jarret-chan is like "He just wanted to know who I was here with, it's okay" Florida-san says goodbye and leaves. They all go to the room and Blackman2-chan is really mad. He yells saying that Jarret-chan didn't know Florida-san that well and he shouldn't have told him that there were 2 bishoujous here. Jarret-chan explains why he said that and Blackman2-chan goes "we have to go now! They know there's money here!"

They go to a nicer love love hotel and he asks Zola-chan to keep an eye on Jarret-chan.
Jarret-chan and Jess-chan start arguing about Jess-chan trapping. He starts crying and he's like Zola-chan is this why you came to FL? Zola-chan goes "No, I didn't even know I was set up!" Jarret-chan is shocked and calls Jess-chan a hoe! (translator's note: baishunpu). Zola-chan leaves and goes for a swim in the love love hotel pool.

Blackman2-chan calls Zola-chan and tells her to setup the calls for Jess-chan again and Zola-chan says okay. She goes up to the room and tells Jess-chan to get ready, Jarret-chan gets really upset and starts punching himself! He tells Jess-chan if she does this again he will kill himself because he really loves her! Uguuu!

Jarret-chan yells that everyone knows Jess-chan is a baishunpu now and that he wants to go home. He throws his keitai at her (translator's note: phone). It has her facebook status showing both her love love ads! Jess-chan starts crying! T_T now everyone knows she's a baishunpu! Jess-chan calls blackman2-chan and 5 minutes later (instant transmission) he knocks on the door bringing his waifu with him.

Blackman2-chan is very upset, totemo upset and lifts Jarret-chan off the ground. Jarret-chan starts crying and apologizing going "sumimasen, gomennasai! blackman-chan!" Blackman2-chan's waifu pulls out a gun (Translator's note: a baka American weapon, not as elegant as a Japanese Katana (katana means sword)), she tells Z-san (blackman2-chan) to kill Jarret-chan, but Jess-chan says no.

Z-san doesn't kill him, but says he's going to kill his manhood and tells Jarret-chan to sit in front of him. He tells Jarret-chan to delete the post (and he does) then calls Jess-chan over. Z-san's waifu unbuckles his pants, then Jess-chan starts sucking his o-chinchin! Then he starts doing doggystyle on Jess-chan with Jarret-chan watching.
Click to expand...

COUNTER BREAKERRRRRR
 
The Adder said:
If it's true then everyone's ended up in a pretty good situation except for Z, his fiance, and the Nigga wit dreads that Jarret was smoking wit at the run down Motel who Z shot in the face.

It seriously wraps up like a film

Jarret went on to find a woman he seems to be happy with

Jess found a nice dude who looks like Neil Patrick Harris to settle down with and take care of her family.

Z and his fiance are in jail

And Zola will go on to sell a movie script for millions.
Click to expand...

I guess. It's just hard to read about women getting beat and forced to have sex to line the pockets of a pimp with a bunch of "LMFAOOOOO" thrown in there.
 
Dread opening the door is legit the best plot twist of 2015

Angelus Errare said:
For those who are insistent that they can't understand the story and the words don't make sense of them.

I wrote it in a way that you can instantly understand. So you too can laugh and stop embarrassing yourself in this thread.

Forbidden Love pt 1.
Mangaka - Zola R. Moon
Translations by k4w411_Kurojin

So Zola-chan met this baka-gaijin Jess at Hooters, Zola-chan was Jess-chan's cafe maid she was so kawaii, totemo kawaii. Jess-chan came in their with her onii-chan black man. Zola-chan being a cafe maid sat down with Jess-chan and her onii-chan and they started talking. Apparently Jess-chan's onii-chan gives her kane (translator's note: money). They were bonding and becoming tomodachis (friends). They exchange numbers feeling like their meeting was destiny and continue talking for quite some time.

The next day, Jess-chan sends Zola-chan a message saying "Onee-san! Let's got to Florida!! :3", She tells Zola-chan she wants to dance in Florida, and Zola-chan is like "hai!!" Zola-chan's waifu didn't want her to go, so she had the sex with him (translator's note: sex) then left with Jess-chan to Florida.

Zola-chan gets in the car and meets another one of Jess-chan's onii-chans, they are blackman2-chan, and Jarret-chan. Jarret-chan and Jess-chan are in love love (translator's note: in love) and blackman2-chan just lives with them. They get to the motel and Jess-chan tells Zola-chan that this room is for Jarret-chan and then they head off for the club (translator's note: A place were people dance and watch others dance, totemo ecchi).

Zola-chan dances at the club and makes 930,000 Yen. Jess-chan tells Zola-chan that blackman2-chan was her pimp, unfortunately Jarrett-chan didn't know this (strike 1). Blackman2-chan comes up and he's like "how much did you girls make me? :3" and they tell him nothing (usotsuki!). He is pretty sad because his real waifu also had a bad night. Because they had a bad night he asks if they want to trap (translator's note: He means do they want sex older gentlemen for kane like schoolgirls!). Jess-chan is like "hai!!!"

They pull up to a different hotel and Jess-chan and Zola-chan start arguing. Zola-chan doesn't trap she is just a stripper so she yells at poor Jess-chan like a baka. Jess-chan starts crying saying she's scared and doesn't want Zola-chan to leave her all alone. Jess-chan tells Zola-chan that she can just check the guys, she doesn't have to trap (translator's note: have sex with men for money). Zola-chan decides to stay and protect Jess-chan!

First guy knocks at the door and he's an older uaito piggu and says he's here for Jess-chan, Jess-chan and uaito piggu have sex. Zola-chan is shocked! @_@ because Jess-chan says she that her price for sex is only 110,000 Yen! Zola-chan decided to help Jess-chan make more kane by putting her profile on an ecchi site setting the price at 650,000 Yen minimum!

Jess-chan is bukakke'ed by 20 guys and makes 5,550,000Yen (sugoi!). Jarrett-chan calls asking where Zola-chan and Jess-chan are, they usotsuki (translator's note: lie) and say they went to another maid cafe. He doesn't believe her and tells Zola-chan to not be a baka slut like Jess-chan.

A few hours later blackman2-chan comes and he asks how much Jess-chan made, she told him the truth (5,550,000 yen). He's shocked and goes "sugoi!!" dou yatte?!" and she's like Zola-chan helped me! :3. He takes the money from Jess-chan and gives Zola-chan 500,000 yen. He doesn't give Jess-chan any because she hasn't paid her rent in months T_T.

They all leave to go back to Jarrett's hotel and he's downstairs smoking weed with a random Florida-san. Blackman2-chan asks who that guy is and Jarret-chan is like "He just wanted to know who I was here with, it's okay" Florida-san says goodbye and leaves. They all go to the room and Blackman2-chan is really mad. He yells saying that Jarret-chan didn't know Florida-san that well and he shouldn't have told him that there were 2 bishoujous here. Jarret-chan explains why he said that and Blackman2-chan goes "we have to go now! They know there's money here!"

They go to a nicer love love hotel and he asks Zola-chan to keep an eye on Jarret-chan.
Jarret-chan and Jess-chan start arguing about Jess-chan trapping. He starts crying and he's like Zola-chan is this why you came to FL? Zola-chan goes "No, I didn't even know I was set up!" Jarret-chan is shocked and calls Jess-chan a hoe! (translator's note: baishunpu). Zola-chan leaves and goes for a swim in the love love hotel pool.

Blackman2-chan calls Zola-chan and tells her to setup the calls for Jess-chan again and Zola-chan says okay. She goes up to the room and tells Jess-chan to get ready, Jarret-chan gets really upset and starts punching himself! He tells Jess-chan if she does this again he will kill himself because he really loves her! Uguuu!

Jarret-chan yells that everyone knows Jess-chan is a baishunpu now and that he wants to go home. He throws his keitai at her (translator's note: phone). It has her facebook status showing both her love love ads! Jess-chan starts crying! T_T now everyone knows she's a baishunpu! Jess-chan calls blackman2-chan and 5 minutes later (instant transmission) he knocks on the door bringing his waifu with him.

Blackman2-chan is very upset, totemo upset and lifts Jarret-chan off the ground. Jarret-chan starts crying and apologizing going "sumimasen, gomennasai! blackman-chan!" Blackman2-chan's waifu pulls out a gun (Translator's note: a baka American weapon, not as elegant as a Japanese Katana (katana means sword)), she tells Z-san (blackman2-chan) to kill Jarret-chan, but Jess-chan says no.

Z-san doesn't kill him, but says he's going to kill his manhood and tells Jarret-chan to sit in front of him. He tells Jarret-chan to delete the post (and he does) then calls Jess-chan over. Z-san's waifu unbuckles his pants, then Jess-chan starts sucking his o-chinchin! Then he starts doing doggystyle on Jess-chan with Jarret-chan watching.
Click to expand...

this shit right here man

I can't even act like I understand the anime stuff but this is some hall of fame tier shit right here
 
Grizzlyjin said:
I feel like I owe Zola money. I don't even care if the story is real, this was absolutely riveting.

And, it did have a strong female lead. Zola was not about to get turned out, and she made relatively smart decisions to stay out of danger. Problem is, when you're around people in this game, you constantly get into stuff.

We even got the foreshadowing at the shitty motel when Jarret was talking to the dread-head and Z told him off.

Honestly, I found Pain & Gain more tasteless than this story. Z shot the dude with dreads in the face for trying to rob them AND kidnapping Jess. I read about the true story behind Pain & Gain and their victims were way more innocent than anyone that got hurt here. I know it doesn't make any of it "right" but that's how I responded to it.

EDIT: Also there is probably some bias working on my part. I haven't met people quite on this level, but I met some ones that were close and caught up in the game.
Click to expand...
Right? That foreshadowing was on point, I didn't think he would ever show back up in the story again, but bam, it all comes full circle.
 
Hero Prinny said:
You dont watch your girl suck another man off and get fucked doggy in front of your god damn face and go ok thats how it is. God damn beta
Click to expand...

And you, my fine fellow, would either be shot or proven a liar in his situation.

Fiction said:
That makes sense. People used to make fun of me for saying 'y'all' because of country songs, and they just wonder if I am trying to sound hip or something lol.

Stupid internets.

At least you don't say like all the fucking time >.<
Click to expand...

I do! People who aren't family don't notice it though, as I have a reputation of being rather conservative with spoken words.
 
Z

marsellus-wallace.jpg
 
you people are misunderstanding me. yes, at that moment I would just sit there, but after that I'm done. Going back home, fuck all of them, especially jess. My mans was about to kill himself over her... like dude, you're tripping.
 
Hero Prinny said:
you people are misunderstanding me. yes, at that moment I would just sit there, but after that I'm done. Going back home, fuck all of them, especially jess. My mans was about to kill himself over her... like dude, you're tripping.
Click to expand...

You are completely skipping over the fact that he's bipolar.

Edit: Beaten

Double Edit: Beaten probably isn't the best word to use considering what we're discussing.
 
Hero Prinny said:
you people are misunderstanding me. yes, at that moment I would just sit there, but after that I'm done. Going back home, fuck all of them, especially jess. My mans was about to kill himself over her... like dude, you're tripping.
Click to expand...

He DID try to kill himself when he jumped off the balcony.

Jarret has problems man, big problems.
 
Angelus Errare said:
For those who are insistent that they can't understand the story and the words don't make sense of them.

I wrote it in a way that you can instantly understand. So you too can laugh and stop embarrassing yourself in this thread.

Forbidden Love pt 1.
Mangaka - Zola R. Moon
Translations by k4w411_Kurojin

So Zola-chan met this baka-gaijin Jess at Hooters, Zola-chan was Jess-chan's cafe maid she was so kawaii, totemo kawaii. Jess-chan came in their with her onii-chan black man. Zola-chan being a cafe maid sat down with Jess-chan and her onii-chan and they started talking. Apparently Jess-chan's onii-chan gives her kane (translator's note: money). They were bonding and becoming tomodachis (friends). They exchange numbers feeling like their meeting was destiny and continue talking for quite some time.

The next day, Jess-chan sends Zola-chan a message saying "Onee-san! Let's got to Florida!! :3", She tells Zola-chan she wants to dance in Florida, and Zola-chan is like "hai!!" Zola-chan's waifu didn't want her to go, so she had the sex with him (translator's note: sex) then left with Jess-chan to Florida.

Zola-chan gets in the car and meets another one of Jess-chan's onii-chans, they are blackman2-chan, and Jarret-chan. Jarret-chan and Jess-chan are in love love (translator's note: in love) and blackman2-chan just lives with them. They get to the motel and Jess-chan tells Zola-chan that this room is for Jarret-chan and then they head off for the club (translator's note: A place were people dance and watch others dance, totemo ecchi).

Zola-chan dances at the club and makes 930,000 Yen. Jess-chan tells Zola-chan that blackman2-chan was her pimp, unfortunately Jarrett-chan didn't know this (strike 1). Blackman2-chan comes up and he's like "how much did you girls make me? :3" and they tell him nothing (usotsuki!). He is pretty sad because his real waifu also had a bad night. Because they had a bad night he asks if they want to trap (translator's note: He means do they want sex older gentlemen for kane like schoolgirls!). Jess-chan is like "hai!!!"

They pull up to a different hotel and Jess-chan and Zola-chan start arguing. Zola-chan doesn't trap she is just a stripper so she yells at poor Jess-chan like a baka. Jess-chan starts crying saying she's scared and doesn't want Zola-chan to leave her all alone. Jess-chan tells Zola-chan that she can just check the guys, she doesn't have to trap (translator's note: have sex with men for money). Zola-chan decides to stay and protect Jess-chan!

First guy knocks at the door and he's an older uaito piggu and says he's here for Jess-chan, Jess-chan and uaito piggu have sex. Zola-chan is shocked! @_@ because Jess-chan says she that her price for sex is only 110,000 Yen! Zola-chan decided to help Jess-chan make more kane by putting her profile on an ecchi site setting the price at 650,000 Yen minimum!

Jess-chan is bukakke'ed by 20 guys and makes 5,550,000Yen (sugoi!). Jarrett-chan calls asking where Zola-chan and Jess-chan are, they usotsuki (translator's note: lie) and say they went to another maid cafe. He doesn't believe her and tells Zola-chan to not be a baka slut like Jess-chan.

A few hours later blackman2-chan comes and he asks how much Jess-chan made, she told him the truth (5,550,000 yen). He's shocked and goes "sugoi!!" dou yatte?!" and she's like Zola-chan helped me! :3. He takes the money from Jess-chan and gives Zola-chan 500,000 yen. He doesn't give Jess-chan any because she hasn't paid her rent in months T_T.

They all leave to go back to Jarrett's hotel and he's downstairs smoking weed with a random Florida-san. Blackman2-chan asks who that guy is and Jarret-chan is like "He just wanted to know who I was here with, it's okay" Florida-san says goodbye and leaves. They all go to the room and Blackman2-chan is really mad. He yells saying that Jarret-chan didn't know Florida-san that well and he shouldn't have told him that there were 2 bishoujous here. Jarret-chan explains why he said that and Blackman2-chan goes "we have to go now! They know there's money here!"

They go to a nicer love love hotel and he asks Zola-chan to keep an eye on Jarret-chan.
Jarret-chan and Jess-chan start arguing about Jess-chan trapping. He starts crying and he's like Zola-chan is this why you came to FL? Zola-chan goes "No, I didn't even know I was set up!" Jarret-chan is shocked and calls Jess-chan a hoe! (translator's note: baishunpu). Zola-chan leaves and goes for a swim in the love love hotel pool.

Blackman2-chan calls Zola-chan and tells her to setup the calls for Jess-chan again and Zola-chan says okay. She goes up to the room and tells Jess-chan to get ready, Jarret-chan gets really upset and starts punching himself! He tells Jess-chan if she does this again he will kill himself because he really loves her! Uguuu!

Jarret-chan yells that everyone knows Jess-chan is a baishunpu now and that he wants to go home. He throws his keitai at her (translator's note: phone). It has her facebook status showing both her love love ads! Jess-chan starts crying! T_T now everyone knows she's a baishunpu! Jess-chan calls blackman2-chan and 5 minutes later (instant transmission) he knocks on the door bringing his waifu with him.

Blackman2-chan is very upset, totemo upset and lifts Jarret-chan off the ground. Jarret-chan starts crying and apologizing going "sumimasen, gomennasai! blackman-chan!" Blackman2-chan's waifu pulls out a gun (Translator's note: a baka American weapon, not as elegant as a Japanese Katana (katana means sword)), she tells Z-san (blackman2-chan) to kill Jarret-chan, but Jess-chan says no.

Z-san doesn't kill him, but says he's going to kill his manhood and tells Jarret-chan to sit in front of him. He tells Jarret-chan to delete the post (and he does) then calls Jess-chan over. Z-san's waifu unbuckles his pants, then Jess-chan starts sucking his o-chinchin! Then he starts doing doggystyle on Jess-chan with Jarret-chan watching.
Click to expand...

Better than the real story- 10/10.
 
"kept me reading all the way until the end!" is a hilarious bit of feedback considering the whole thing is like 3 pages long
 
The Adder said:
Jarret: A Visionary robbed of his Future
Jess: A Sniper deprived of her Words
Z : A Ghost without a Past
Nigga wit dreads that Jarret was smoking wit at the run down Motel: A Rival living a Lie
Zola : A Fallen Legend
Click to expand...

This is the post that kills me
 
i am unagi said:
I like how Z is like THINK OF THE CHILDREN when Jarrett jumps.

He's a freaking
sex trafficker who shot some guy in the face.
Click to expand...

no he said there are families there, Z lived there because it wasn't a suspicious place but a dude jumping down from his apartment would blow his whole shtick and maybe scar some kids for life
 
Holy fuck that was captivating LoL

I can't get over how quick girl got into game mode when Z threw the option out
"Now i'm promoted to lookout? K, Z whatev"

:D :D :D

classic.
 
Opto said:
Yeah but to him, he doesn't do it in front of any kids so that makes him okay.
Click to expand...

bunk-code.gif


Looking for the adaptation written by Seth Rogen starring Craig Robinson as Z (rewritten as a straight-edge white collar worker who gets sucked into pimping due to incredible circumstances), Jay Baruchel as Jarret, and James Franco as Alien as Dreadlocks Florida Man.
 
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