Yeah, I think framing good female character writing as "female character must be super badass" has caused a lot of problems, because A) it causes a lot of writers to fall into the mindset of "if she can't beat up the bad guys, she isn't any good" and B) audiences and the press have bought into it in a lot of cases, so when a female character doesn't show those attributes, they might might shit on the writers for that, even though the whole point of the character is that they're not a fighter.
Here's a great example of strong character writing for a girl. It's from Gundam Iron-Blooded Orphans. There's this girl named Atra, who's a cook for a mercenary company and used to be a maid in a brothel. Her dream for the future is to be a house wife and marry a dude who pilots a giant robot and only wants to be a farmer if he has to stop piloting the robot. During combat, she mostly hangs out on a ship or at their base, sometimes handing out food and doing first aid stuff if things are really bad. Nothing special, right? But during one arc in season 1, she deliberately lets herself get captured (and eventually beaten by grown men) so her friend, a super important VIP who's being targeted by a super corrupt organization, can get away, and in the final arc, she drives an APC through a battlefield to get to a political meeting because so many of the guys are dead, injured, or fighting, and the only reason she fails is because a giant robot almost lands on top of them.
If this character was created for a non-RPG game, I don't know if people/critics would care or if they'd just say nothing but "why couldn't she be the protagonist and be blowing shit up," when that's not the point of the character at all.