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[andthebeatgoeson]

Get caught telling your cousin how much hotter she is than your GF and then wonder why your gf immediately dumps you, bruhs.

I was actually upset that slay posted the link. I didn't even grandpa Simpson walk in. Did the turn around at the curb all day.

 

[hillsighed]

Get caught telling your cousin how much hotter she is than your GF and then wonder why your gf immediately dumps you, bruhs.

Yeah, that thread was fucked up. The fact that the dude didn't understand what he did was completely wrong (and creepy) was the worst part.

 

[RedSwirl]

Bleh, thread I was gonna post this in got locked.
I think this is closest match I could find for a place for this.
::

The problem with "affirmative action" isn't at the college level.
Its at the elementary level.

When a school in a lower socioeconomic location is constantly funded less than one in a rich kid neighborhood, then the rich kids are going to constantly be better educated and therefore better qualified for college.
My middle and high school were both in low economic areas and they were basically day cares for almost-adults.

When you have kids from low income family's and you doom them from succes, you basically guarantee them as future failures.


Instead of having affirmative action, we should have equal action before the fact.

:::

This was for a thread about a rich Indian kid who got into college by portraying himself as a black kid. He had a low gpa

Just read an article saying an increasing number of schools are having to serve not just lunch, but also breakfast and now dinner. Public schools are being forced to fill in more and more social functions that parents are unable to.

 

[EloquentM]

Even though I took like a 1.5 weeks off from black thread I'm still in the top five posters. For shame 😩

 

[FeenixRising]

Bruh... I am watching MTV2... who is this rapper on my TV screen missing a damn eye?!?! Pull a '92 Left-Eye and cover that shit up!

 

[hypernima]

That's not unprofessional. That's the profession.

I grew up with a dude named Mr. Frosty. That mofo would steal 4 hours of my Saturday. Only guy in the shop, would spend hours talking to people. Leave for 15-20 minutes in the middle of a cut to get food next door. The line was clean, but goddamn.

That's the height of black barbers. They don't just give us cuts. They give us experiences.

I had a barber once stop to look at some dude who came in the shop to sell fake polo shirts. Had me sitting there like a fool.

 

[chertipros]

Bruh... I am watching MTV2... who is this rapper on my TV screen missing a damn eye?!?! Pull a '92 Left-Eye and cover that shit up!

Young jack thrilla? Slick Rick?

 

[EloquentM]

So anybody actually cohabiting with their SO before marriage? I could use some advice since I'm seriously thinking about bringing it up. I mean, I could ask my dad, that'd be reasonable, but this is gaf fuck people in real life. You gotta post on gaf before you make these kinds of big life changing decisions.

 

[andthebeatgoeson]

So anybody actually cohabiting with their SO before marriage? I could use some advice since I'm seriously thinking about bringing it up. I mean, I could ask my dad, that'd be reasonable, but this is gaf fuck people in real life. You gotta post on gaf before you make these kinds of big life changing decisions.

Won't really do much. Just practicing. You'll go through the growing pains quicker. Unless you are a selfish asshole (like, do you freak out if someone puts the peanut butter in the fridge or insists the ketchup is not in the fridge, do you believe the DVR is your property, what are your ideas on bedtime and the lights being turned off?), I'm not sure it will do much.

Best thing to do before marriage is get premarital counseling and study the hell out of it. Commitment, conflict resolution, sex and ask your own baggage is a job in and of itself. Read books on marriages, go to conferences on marriage, together.

 

[andthebeatgoeson]

I like how you can delete subscriptions. She wish I could 'delete' threads. That one thread is mocking me. Y'all need to stop replying to train wrecks.

 

[Jacir]

The Deadpool April fools joke was great. Just read about it.

 

[FyreWulff]

So anybody actually cohabiting with their SO before marriage? I could use some advice since I'm seriously thinking about bringing it up. I mean, I could ask my dad, that'd be reasonable, but this is gaf fuck people in real life. You gotta post on gaf before you make these kinds of big life changing decisions.

I could never marry someone without living with them first. But that's my personal opinion. There's a difference between being able to retreat to your living spaces when you've had enough of each other and actually having to live with each other.

 

[Black Republican]

watching the end of Season 1 of The 100, not as bad as i thought honestly, Clarke is pretty cool. Some of the dilogue is corny but overall its a solid 7-8/10.

 

[Kid Kamikaze10]

Bleh, thread I was gonna post this in got locked.
I think this is closest match I could find for a place for this.
::

The problem with "affirmative action" isn't at the college level.
Its at the elementary level.

When a school in a lower socioeconomic location is constantly funded less than one in a rich kid neighborhood, then the rich kids are going to constantly be better educated and therefore better qualified for college.
My middle and high school were both in low economic areas and they were basically day cares for almost-adults.

When you have kids from low income family's and you doom them from succes, you basically guarantee them as future failures.


Instead of having affirmative action, we should have equal action before the fact.

:::

This was for a thread about a rich Indian kid who got into college by portraying himself as a black kid. He had a low gpa

Even before all of that, Mindy's bumass brother's story doesn't add up. He was able to pull a fast one on AMCAS and all those school's vetting processes? Nah.

 

[jmood88]

Just got my first "why do you hate me" pm. Looks like I'm finally part of the community.

Edit: if I get banned, tell my mama I love her.

 

[FeenixRising]

Young jack thrilla? Slick Rick?

It was like a newer music video, and jack thrilla don't rap

Just got my first "why do you hate me" pm. Looks like I'm finally part of the community.

Edit: if I get banned, tell my mama I love her.

BCT, hold it dooowwaaaaannnn

 

[Deleted member 47027]

So anybody actually cohabiting with their SO before marriage? I could use some advice since I'm seriously thinking about bringing it up. I mean, I could ask my dad, that'd be reasonable, but this is gaf fuck people in real life. You gotta post on gaf before you make these kinds of big life changing decisions.

Gotta live with someone first. You don't wanna get married and then find out there's some unforgivable shit going on. Highly recommend it.

 

[The Faceless Master]

So anybody actually cohabiting with their SO before marriage? I could use some advice since I'm seriously thinking about bringing it up. I mean, I could ask my dad, that'd be reasonable, but this is gaf fuck people in real life. You gotta post on gaf before you make these kinds of big life changing decisions.

I thought everyone did that nowadays.

 

[jmood88]

So anybody actually cohabiting with their SO before marriage? I could use some advice since I'm seriously thinking about bringing it up. I mean, I could ask my dad, that'd be reasonable, but this is gaf fuck people in real life. You gotta post on gaf before you make these kinds of big life changing decisions.

I live with my girlfriend and, while I'm not getting married anytime soon, I couldn't imagine marrying somebody who you didn't live with first. Having to share a home gives you a lot of insight into the person you're with and I'd much rather find any potential issues before getting married.

 

[Kreed]

I thought everyone did that nowadays.

Highly religious/traditional households still avoid this, usually teaching their kids the old "Why buy the cow if you can get the milk for free?" type lessons. But they also treat marriage as a "holy ordained" thing that doesn't fail if you do everything right by God, so things like learning how well you live with your partner don't usually apply.

 

[D i Z]

So anybody actually cohabiting with their SO before marriage? I could use some advice since I'm seriously thinking about bringing it up. I mean, I could ask my dad, that'd be reasonable, but this is gaf fuck people in real life. You gotta post on gaf before you make these kinds of big life changing decisions.

I've lived with my last two long term SO's, and I'll tell ya, the experience was invaluable.
Knowing how a person really lives and whether you can actually get along through good times and bad is key.

 

[EloquentM]

Won't really do much. Just practicing. You'll go through the growing pains quicker. Unless you are a selfish asshole (like, do you freak out if someone puts the peanut butter in the fridge or insists the ketchup is not in the fridge, do you believe the DVR is your property, what are your ideas on bedtime and the lights being turned off?), I'm not sure it will do much.

Best thing to do before marriage is get premarital counseling and study the hell out of it. Commitment, conflict resolution, sex and ask your own baggage is a job in and of itself. Read books on marriages, go to conferences on marriage, together.

thats an interesting take and I'll definitely have to look into that literature

I could never marry someone without living with them first. But that's my personal opinion. There's a difference between being able to retreat to your living spaces when you've had enough of each other and actually having to live with each other.

Gotta live with someone first. You don't wanna get married and then find out there's some unforgivable shit going on. Highly recommend it.

I thought everyone did that nowadays.

I live with my girlfriend and, while I'm not getting married anytime soon, I couldn't imagine marrying somebody who you didn't live with first. Having to share a home gives you a lot of insight into the person you're with and I'd much rather find any potential issues before getting married.

yea apparently 2/3 of America does this now but even still there's a correlation between cohabitation and divorce. That's what I'm weary about. Apparently though it has more to do with the couples and why they decide to live together than the actual strength of the relationship itself.

I've lived with my last two long term SO's, and I'll tell ya, the experience was invaluable.
Knowing how a person really lives and whether you can actually get along through good times and bad is key.

ive never done it and the only person I knew who did it was my father before he remarried. I concept it sounds like a solid decision but in practice and in literature it sounds like a relationship death sentence.

 

[Jackben]

It's essentially what you'll be doing after you're married so I don't see why it's a relationship death sentence.

 

[EloquentM]

It's essentially what you'll be doing after you're married so I don't see why it's a relationship death sentence.

The dissenting opinion is that you'll be playing house as opposed to actually being committed to them as in a marriage. That's commonly the series of thought seen between premarital cohabitation and divorce. Many people see it as a step to get to marriage in concept but in practice it's just a decision of convenience. Basically when a lot of people move in together they don't actually do it with the mindset of this is going to lead to marriage eventually. They don't consider if this is actually the right step for their relationship. They just see it as a way of cutting costs and being with that person because you already spend a bunch of time together.

 

[Kreed]

The dissenting opinion is that you'll be playing house as opposed to actually being committed to them as in a marriage. That's commonly the series of thought seen between premarital cohabitation and divorce. Many people see it as a step to get to marriage in concept but in practice it's just a decision of convenience. Basically when a lot of people move in together they don't actually do it with the mindset of this is going to lead to marriage eventually. They don't consider if this is actually the right step for their relationship. They just see it as a way of cutting costs and being with that person because you already spend a bunch of time together.

The relationship death sentence in this example is bad/no communication.

 

[EloquentM]

The relationship death sentence in this example is bad/no communication.

Yeah obviously I'm going to have to talk to my girl. I'm just saying the numbers and research regarding mistakes commonly made make me weary. Ironically she's stufying to be a marriage and family therapy clinician so I'm sure she already knows some of this stuff.

 

[MHWilliams]

yea apparently 2/3 of America does this now but even still there's a correlation between cohabitation and divorce. That's what I'm weary about. Apparently though it has more to do with the couples and why they decide to live together than the actual strength of the relationship itself.

Last research I read said otherwise.

A new study by associate professor Arielle Kuperberg from the University of North Carolina at Greensboro found that there is no correlation between cohabiting before marriage and divorce; instead, what may predict divorce in those who cohabitate before marriage is the age at which they choose do so.

Kuperberg explained that couples who shack up before marriage tend to be younger, and because marrying at a young age increases the likelihood of divorce, it appeared in previous research that cohabitation did as well. But Kuperberg says that's not the case; once you control for the age variable, the correlation between divorce and cohabitation disappears.

"The problem is that the couples are settling down at an earlier age, and settling down too young is what leads to divorce," she told The Huffington Post.

 

[EloquentM]

Last research I read said otherwise.

Oh, thank you for that. That's a really interesting piece. I'm gonna bookmark that for the eventual conversation.

 

[Jest Chillin]

The relationship death sentence in this example is bad/no communication.

This is a relationship death sentence regardless of living together. Living together before marriage really depends on the relationship and the views of each person. Some definitely take that step as one of convienence. Some use it as a stepping stone towards marriage. But the reason why I feel it's case by case is that the reality of serious relationships is that they largely depend on work. If one or both parties aren't willing to work, the relationship will suffer. However each persons view on marriage itself can influence that willingness to work. Someone who doesn't particularly hold marriage as something that should be a serious undertaking would be better off cohabitating rather than having a string of marriages and divorces. However if both people are serious about being together for the long haul then practicing before making it official doesn't do much except for provide an easier out when things get tough. That isn't necessarily a bad thing of course but that largely comes down to personal views on love and relationships.

There's also the possibility of behaviors or habits that would justifiably be deal breakers whether married or not but most of those things can be discovered through a longer dating process.

 

[Boombox On]

yea apparently 2/3 of America does this now but even still there's a correlation between cohabitation and divorce.

Don't the majority of all marriages end in divorce anyway?

 

[jmood88]

I just got out of Furious 7 and Fast Five remains the only movie in this series that I actually like. I can't believe the reviews it has gotten.

 

[dskillzhtown]

I can't even go back there. I want to support my local black people, but this Vietnamese lady down the road does it right in 10 minutes. Minh is fucking real. Got me up in the barber like:

I have a Vietnamese hair place near my house where I go if I have something important coming up like an interview or some crap, but generally I just cut my own. I probably should go up to "Cindy" more often. Lord knows that isn't her real name, but she does me up right.

 

[Black Republican]

Can't stop looking at tinashes instragram pics, I swear she posts everyday lol


I need help

 

[andthebeatgoeson]

thats an interesting take and I'll definitely have to look into that literature

In the interest of disclosure, I cohabited. But there were a few times when I caused problems (it took her awhile to be comfortable with me in the crib and the time her family visited and I had to bounce for 'appearances') and there were a lot of benefits (we got closer, had more time together).

But nothing substitutes for great communication, committment, honesty.

I mean, you have to willingly talk about everything. The toothpaste, sex, food, cooking, chores, expectations. Everything. So use that close time cohabiting ACTIVELY learning about your future spouse. It's not something to just smash her cakes at 4 am. You have to work and might as well start now.

Not to scare you but good relationships just don't happen. You work, fight, work and fight and hopefully have something else besides the person to hold onto. For me, it's religion, hope and the idea that this will work, no matter what. For others, they have something else.

 

[Face it Tiger..]

Can't stop looking at tinashes instragram pics, I swear she posts everyday lol


I need help

you need a bae.

 

[EloquentM]

In the interest of disclosure, I cohabited. But there were a few times when I caused problems (it took her awhile to be comfortable with me in the crib and the time her family visited and I had to bounce for 'appearances') and there were a lot of benefits (we got closer, had more time together).

But nothing substitutes for great communication, committment, honesty.

I mean, you have to willingly talk about everything. The toothpaste, sex, food, cooking, chores, expectations. Everything. So use that close time cohabiting ACTIVELY learning about your future spouse. It's not something to just smash her cakes at 4 am. You have to work and might as well start now.

Not to scare you but good relationships just don't happen. You work, fight, work and fight and hopefully have something else besides the person to hold onto. For me, it's religion, hope and the idea that this will work, no matter what. For others, they have something else.

you really sound like me so I definitely appreciate your post. I'm pretty religious but it wouldn't stop me from cohabitation. I'm always telling her she's my world but you're right in saying I need something largely important to have my own identity away from her when I need it. She's always emphasizing how important communication is and I truly believe you are right when you say any relationship takes a large amount of communication. I admittedly need to work on how I speak with my SO over my though processes but I'm working on it and I know it's possible. It's an interesting concept to me. I've been in serious relationships before and I've worked my ass off to no avail but this is the first time I actually feel like I'm getting back what I put into this. I'm just asking BCT because I wanted a larger pool of opinions and it seems to me that the majority of you have a good head on your shoulders. Thanks for the boost in confidence. I'll have some more things to think about in the coming days before I talk to her.

 

[Slayven]

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yNqIJ3e0OJw

 

[Angelus Errare]

I would never marry someone before living with them. That sounds dangerous as hell.

 

[Slayven]

I would never marry someone before living with them. That sounds dangerous as hell.

Can't jump the broom until you know how someone cleans their hogmaws

 

[EloquentM]

It's crazy to see how much has changed with newer generations. What would y'all say is a suitable amount of time between living together and getting married. obviously its relative to each situation, but even still, I like asking these types of hypotheticals.

 

[Angelus Errare]

It's crazy to see how much has changed with newer generations. What would y'all say is a suitable amount of time between living together and getting married. obviously its relative to each situation, but even still, I like asking these types of hypotheticals.

4 months at the earliest. That first month really don't count, they try to put on airs and shit. But by the 3rd month they're tired of frontin' and revert back to their normal selves.

 

[Kreed]

It's crazy to see how much has changed with newer generations. What would y'all say is a suitable amount of time between living together and getting married. obviously its relative to each situation, but even still, I like asking these types of hypotheticals.

> 2 years

 

[sooperkool]

So anybody actually cohabiting with their SO before marriage? I could use some advice since I'm seriously thinking about bringing it up. I mean, I could ask my dad, that'd be reasonable, but this is gaf fuck people in real life. You gotta post on gaf before you make these kinds of big life changing decisions.

I did for a year or so before I got married back in the day, I would recommend it. Marriage is some other level shit, you need to be one hundred percent sure before you do it.

 

[esms]

It's crazy to see how much has changed with newer generations. What would y'all say is a suitable amount of time between living together and getting married. obviously its relative to each situation, but even still, I like asking these types of hypotheticals.

6 months at least.

 

[EloquentM]

Thank you all for your answers. I Have a lot more insight on it now than I began with.

 

[Trey]

It's crazy to see how much has changed with newer generations. What would y'all say is a suitable amount of time between living together and getting married. obviously its relative to each situation, but even still, I like asking these types of hypotheticals.

I say you need to see how they live in every season. So a year - a year and a half to be safe.

 

[Angelus Errare]

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kxUdFQ6N_OI&feature=youtu.be


KJHFKLDASLNLK FHDAKSlJLK NFLDAJHJRKHELIA Q SDAHFLKASFNSAJ!!!!!!

 

[strobogo]

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kxUdFQ6N_OI&feature=youtu.be


KJHFKLDASLNLK FHDAKSlJLK NFLDAJHJRKHELIA Q SDAHFLKASFNSAJ!!!!!!

All I see are people dancing like Kenny Powers.

 

[Dereck]

KJHFKLDASLNLK FHDAKSlJLK NFLDAJHJRKHELIA Q SDAHFLKASFNSAJ!!!!!!

lol at this filming location

 

[andthebeatgoeson]

You need a year, at least. But again, I stress, it's no guarantee. I was cohabiting for longer and hid a major depressive episode for several years. Living with each other only let's you see the superficial. Does she close the bathroom door during number 2? Crap like that.

Any person can hide a major character flaw or problem. It's communication, dedication to the relationship (I'm going to share this crap because it can hurt us), etc that gets you through marriage.

You see many people live together for years and fail at marriage. Great marriages survive because both people decided to make it survive.

How do people survive arranged marriages? Same way all others marriages survive. Two people making a decision.

Falling in love is a big fallacy. It's just easier to decide to love them in the beginning. You decide to love them and you decide to not love them. It's all a decision.

You can PM me if you want some links to a few good videos about it. But good luck and realize you have a lot more control over love than others would have you believe.