PSA: Family and Friends... For those of you partaking in the "turn up" on Saturday, July 4th,here are a few rules to keep in mind:
1. If you or your partner "renig" while playing spades because you're both intoxicated, and you begin cursing excessively, you will be escorted to your vehicle or we will call a cab to come take you home. Let's keep it classy, this is a kid friendly event! **Card games will end promptly at 1:00am**
2. There will be excessive twerking and dancing at this event, ladies wear your most comfortable shoes! Men, absolutely NO linen suites or Stacey Adams sandals! Let's be honest, who still wears those?!
3. There will be zero tolerance for parents who think they're leaving their kids, while they "go make a run", take they bad asses with you!
4. If anyone sees you at the party, hiding food of any kind, especially ribs, and steaks because you're afraid the people who didn't "put in" are going to eat it all, you will be asked to leave, and your plate stays!
5. If grown people are talking, please excuse your children from the conversation, with they nosey asses!
6. To my friends especially, there will be no holding of your hair, while you puke on the side of the house, put that ish up in a ponytail to save me the trouble
7. You must have fun, get wasted, and if you or your kids are afraid of fireworks, STAY AT HOME!
8. If you know you brought Miller High Lite, but you drinking Stella Artois, kill yourself!
9. To that drunk Uncle, please just sit your drunk ass in the corner passed out and don't try to start a fight with anyone, we ain't in the mood!
10. To that Uncle/family friend, please DO NOT try to holla at any of me or my sister's girlfriends, they don't want yall old asses, ya'll try it at every BBQ!
11. If you know you brought Dr. Thunder, or Mountain Lion, but you drinking Dr. Pepper and Mountain Dew, kill yourself!
The struggle doesn't have to be this real...
