sciplore said:
It is a never ending cycle, I see family dynamics built off of this. I wonder if it has to do with the blacks low acceptance for abortions or black woman and men stupid lack of condom usage. Honestly I really don't see this changing any time soon.
considering that blacks lead the nation in abortion rate, I don't suspect that is the case. to be sure, the issue is deep and complicated. there is no silver bullet and no single issue at work. I'd suggest, at minimum, a combination of culture, diminished standards and expectations, low self-esteem secondary to them not naturally fitting into the general culture's standards of beauty (long hair, fair skin, narrow nose), low self-esteem secondary to how their fathers and other black men treat them.
ryutaro's mama said:
It's fucking amazing, people are shocked when they hear I have zero children.
My answer? I don't want them so I don't have them.
People act like you are supposed to have at least one "oopsy" kid...blows my mind.
real talk right here. eyebrows raise. not in my family, but I've been to a few other people's family events and this situation is...we just accept it, on average. It seems fewer and fewer of us accept this is a problem.
ryutaro's mama said:
All of you need to see Diary of a Tired Black Man starring the Haitian from Heroes.
eeeeeeeh. I found that to be a lot of ranting bullshit from a man who apparently had poor taste in women in the first place.
DY_nasty said:
Sums up my feelings as well...
What HBCU did you attend anyways?
the were that bad, eh? I've never been to an HBCU. Well...not for more than a few hours. I can imagine that would be a bit off-putting.
captmcblack said:
I don't care if you have kids or not.
If you're a cool girl and you're interested in liking me - and being liked by me, then I'm down. The whole super-independent "fuck men they're assholes, but you should still throw it in the bag and spend squajillions of dollars on me because you're a baller and I'm a queen" deal is just not what's up at all...ladies in the situation described in that link would do well to be into self-improvement on a personal level, and self-improvement on a relationship/approachability level.
As for dudes running around and knocking girls up then running away - that's straight bitchassness on their part, and invariably they'll get theirs anyway. They'll be caught up financially for at least 18 years, and having baby mamas makes them "damaged goods" for prospective future women, too.
Finally, black men and black women really, really need to have some sort of reconciliation movement. For some reason, we don't even like each other as much as we should...and it sucks, because (at least for dudes) it's hard enough for people of other races/ethnicities to get over themselves and dig you, so it sucks to feel like you can't at least fall back on ladies that share your color/race/ethnicities/cultural things.
I agree with all of this. But is a "movement" really possible in this day and age? What constitutes an "awakening" if getting slapped with the reality that damn near 3/4 of all of our future sons and daughters are growing up even farther behind the 8-ball than necessary? Do we really care? I mean, really? Or do we just feel powerless to create some change?
I'm going to be honest. I don't feel it's hopeless...but I don't feel much hope either. It feels like a drain circling...and our people caught in the flush, our culture pulling the lever. Educated blacks are abandoning home and all of the people that were at home. Educated black men abandoning black women for frustration with the baggage (see: this thread) without also considering that baggage is partly secondary to decades of actions by our very brothers of which we descend, support and live with. Families collectively lowering expectations of behavior for their children, content to simply accept what is instead of demanding more and better. Youth caught up in trying to keep up with the moral disaster area that is black pop culture, making so many wrong decisions. These are still our brothers and our sisters...yet so many of us seemingly have lost so much perspective as to simply let them fade away.
I agree with ryutaro that personal responsibility is essential here, but ending the point with that comment completely ignores how we got to this point, as if it doesn't matter when in the case of the black woman...it does. it ignores the gravitational pulls of a culture we're helping to cultivate. it ignores the emotional damage being done every day in black homes by abusive parents and absent parents. it ignores the scares generated by a sense of worthlessness impressed upon so many of our youth. And if the significance there misses you, I'd point to the words of a man wiser than myself:
"If you can control a mans thinking, you dont have to worry about his actions. If you can determine what a man thinks you do not have worry about what he will do. If you can make a man believe that he is inferior, you dont have to compel him to seek an inferior status, he will do so without being told and if you can make a man believe that he is justly an outcast, you dont have to order him to the back door, he will go to the back door on his own and if there is no back door, the very nature of the man will demand that you build one."
-Carter G. Woodson
Burn that shit into your minds. This issue is much deeper than simply personal responsibility. Attempting to wash ones hands with that is problematic at best. Solutions must go well beyond simply demanding someone "do better". Maybe the majority of our people have already accepted they are inferior, folks. And the saddest part is that we seem to refuse to want to speak on these things...so we pretend they don't exist. Which of course only exacerbates the problem.
We as black men and our collective lack of respect and appreciation for black women have contributed
heavily to where we are right now. And so where is our personal responsibility in the support and betterment of our men and women? Where is our spirit of Sankofa, as those who are wiser and more mature? It has always taken a village, has it not? Then what becomes of a village without its wisest members? Or should we simply fold our tents, abandon the people and move on? It's a serious question...and maybe that's the objective truth at this point. But it hurts if so.
captmcblack said:
Fixing education in the inner city/education of minority youth is going to require an effort that probably costs too much money.
you are correct. but in my personal opinion, the education system is one of the least of our concerns. yes, many unqualified teachers are still instructing our youth, but the fact of the matter is that our children are coming school emotionally and psychologically underprepared. GROSSLY underprepared. It's the parents that represent the biggest threat to the future of blacks in America. Poor parenting is killing our youth.
in my opinion. I could say more, but I've said enough for now. Enough for interesting conversation to continue.
