Yep fellow Canadian and miss when I felt so safe. I'm sure part of that was childhood naivety but there was a period of time after my parents divorced that as a stay at home mom now thrust into being a single parent my mom had no choice but to move us into a subsidized housing townhouse complex. At the time it was 95% white families and I would say most were hard working households simply not making suitable wages and three of my best friends were the same story as me with newly single mothers needing a place to live while figuring out a career and once they did so many of them like my mom went on to be very successful. There was no fear at all having all the kids unsupervised even at night run about and pretty much every day playing street hockey together. The parents biggest fears were an army veteran with PTSD that every now and then would have some breakdowns outside his townhouse but realistically was harmless and looking back on it I feel bad that the parents were so worried about him, two teenage brothers that they were worried would be a bad influence on us because they were "trouble makers" when again in reality they were harmless and were just doing things like not paying for slurpees and maybe the most ridiculous a down syndrome girl that loved riding her bike every day which was great but she didn't have the awareness that running over kids that didn't see her coming wasn't ideal
There was also no concern with walking to school and stuff like that and those walks to school are probably why to this day I am such a Christmas junkie. If anybody here was in Calgary in the 90's and remembers the Wayne Smith house Christmas lights then my walk to school went right past that so the months of watching the elaborate display come to life built up so much hype for Christmas and then walking home from school when it was complete and he would have it lit up followed by a pit stop at Robin's Doughnuts (Fuck Timmies) made the cold winter walks from school way more enjoyable than they had any business being. Sadly the Wayne Smith house was one of the first times in my life I started to notice a shift from better times. What was something that brought so much joy and magic to the community and city with people coming from all over (And out of town) to see it eventually turned into Karen's bitching about traffic and the city banning him from doing the displays at his house. For a bit he continued to do it in a park but it wasn't the same.
But fast forward to being an adult and making the mistake of deciding to go back their with a childhood friend to go check out our old stomping ground and grab a pizza at a local pizza place that was still around (But under new management). Having these great childhood memories of a complex that was so well taken care of, safe and had a sense of family replaced with taliban flags, drug addicts sprawled out on the sidewalk, gang graffiti and the townhouses in such a state of disrepair that not that since then the city were forced to renovate the whole complex (Which I'm sure will just go to waste with these residents) was a real downer and when you really realize the changes in this country. And of course the new management of the pizza place were rude Middle Eastern men that love opening pizza shops and making the same horrible pizza that I'm convinced they have all watched the same YouTube tutorial of or something. Unlike the caring friendly Greek family that owned it and always made sure you were well taken care of. The owner knew the Hart family and knew I was into wrestling and one day there is an autographed Bret Hart picture with our pizzas for example. But there is one silver lining to this with a faith in humanity being restored moment for me. For a long time there was this other local pizza place nowhere near that area I loved ran by a Greek family and one day I walk in and next thing I know I have this older Greek man catching me off guard hugging me and turns out he was the old owner of that local pizza place and somehow recognized me even though he wouldn't have seen me since I was a kid while his kids were running this new place. Suddenly it all made sense why I loved the pizza so much since they were using his recipes and I felt like an idiot when he pointed out the pictures on the wall I had never looked at of him and his wife standing outside the old local.
My teen years were when things started to go downhill feeling safe since we moved into a new suburb which initially being a new suburb felt really safe and again a lot of families that became close and had that great sense of community. Like usual with a new suburb though things like schools always seem to be the last priority and anybody familiar with Calgary will instantly know why this is about to go south because the nearest schools were in Forest Lawn and the nearest mall was Marlborough Mall. Needless to say every time I have recieved a death threat in person happened in these lovely places. The first was in Jr. High when a black student/teammate threatened to bring his uncles gun to school and shoot me all because he wasn't happy with how I was playing in recent games on our schools basketball team while dealing with a sprained ankle. I admit I was a hothead as a teen and as the old saying goes, "Two wrongs don't make a right" but I shoved him after his threat and triggered a fight between our friend groups which teachers intervened in. Myself and one of my friends were somehow the only two that got suspended and when trying to explain what triggered the fight which should have been the biggest concern in retrospect our glorious principle wouldn't listen to it and threatened to call the police if we didn't basically shut up, accept our suspensions and go home. The reason I say in retrospect was because at the time I just viewed it as an idle threat trying to act tough but around five or six years later I am in Fernie B.C. of all places who would get Calgary news and had the news on in the hotel while waiting to go out for dinner. Up pops the lead story and to my shock there is this old classmate/teamate of mine on the screen with his cousin (Not sure if the uncle from the threat was his dad) and another old classmate who we were actually both friends with that was always trying to mend fences between us after that incident. Anyway, they were involved in a shooting and robbery of two random girls so maybe that threat wasn't so idle after all making how the principle handled it more shocking. Imagine threatening to call the police on somebody for trying to explain somebody threatened to bring a gun to school and shoot them. Bravo!
The second death threat was again one that maybe I naively just marked down as an idle threat and didn't take serious. Again we lived in a new suburb that at this time was safe with no crime rate but were near a district that was the complete opposite with one of the highest (Again if anybody is from Calgary I am sure you know the Forest Lawn reputation). So we were playing basketball in our district thinking nothing of the fact that it was getting dark but a female friend of ours lived in the other district and suddenly said she better get going. At first we were confused why she abruptly wanted to get going but then registered she seemed a bit nervous and put two and two together so myself and another friend offered to walk her home. Got her home safely but by this point it was really dark and the quickest route back home was to cut across these train tracks and field with no lighting which being dumb teens that just knowingly walked somebody home that lived in this district and was nervous about it at night we thought was a great idea. Thankfully the one bright idea we got was to go back and see if she had a flashlight we could borrow and when we got back to her place she asked us why we were in her backyard a few minutes ago which we were not. Next thing we know a group of about ten black teens emerged from the backyard of a house a few houses down hands loaded with stuff that they had been stealing from backyards and noticed us watching them to which they told us to mind our own business if we didn't want to die tonight. Knowing full well that I could be a hothead our female friend wasted no time making sure I didn't reply and rushed us into her house so good reactions on her part because my dumb ass would have chirped off and found out if it was the idle threat I thought it was the time or not
She also convinced us to call a cab home once they were no longer hovering around the street.
The final death threat happened at Marlborough Mall which again people from Calgary know and this is the one that I didn't take as much as an idle threat which was maybe because I was now an adult and not a naive teen. I was Christmas shopping with friends and was finished before them so decided to just go and chill with an Orange Julius in some seating near the store they were in. By chance where I was sitting there were two black men around my age across from me and an older black woman diagonal from me. Another black guy that was again probably close to my age approached and sat in the chair next to me and at first wished me a Merry Christmas which I returned but then a complete 180 as he dragged the chair closer to me and started with some gibberish about God and Jesus before declaring he could kill a white boy like me on the spot and nobody there would care all while having his hand in his jacket. With teenage hormones long gone I was no longer the hothead I was back then so there was no longer a risk of me chirping back but fearing that this was genuinely my life on the line for once I was ready to fight if I needed to. Anyway, he was saying this loud enough for the other three to hear and the dumb bitch started laughing proving his point so fuck her and I hope she has had a miserable life since but thankfully the other two guys were good people and just casually got up and walked across completely ignoring him and pretended like they were my friends and asked if I was ready to go so I stood up and walked away with them while the other guy slithered away. They refused to leave me until I regrouped with my friends too and why I hate that all three of my stories have something in common because I have had far more good relationships and interactions than these bad ones. But this story is primarily the story that has triggered me to write this autobiography nobody asked for and that nobody is probably still reading but it is the middle of the night and I have insomnia so why not type away. Anyway, the situation reminds me of what happened to this poor girl but thankfully I had two people in the right place at the right time looking out for me since to this day I wonder if he did have a weapon he was reaching for and if they didn't do what they did maybe I am not here today bringing fists to a knife/gun fight. But sadly she was surrounded by nothing but people as good as that cackling bitch (Is it crazy that I actually have more disdain for her than the guy that threatened me?). There was no stopping the stabbing with how sudden it was (Well from people in the moment since there was plenty of stopping it before then tossing away the key) and maybe there was no saving her but the lack of any care around her is just disgusting. If only she had two guys (Or better yet everybody around her) like I did maybe they could have at least gave her some comfort in those final moments. My biggest regret from that day is that I wasn't in the headspace to try and get the contact information of them. With it happening just before Christmas I would love to be able to send them a gift every year for Christmas. Sadly I was so rattled that I don't even remember if I thanked them and hope I did.
The sad part is back then even with incidents like this and all the less serious incidents in my life I was probably safer then than I would be now. I also had it easier than some of my friends back then since being 6'5" is a great deterent to people wanting to start something with you but my grandfather is also black, my dad is very obvious mixed race and while I am much more white there are still some obvious characteristics that give away my mixed genes. So I had an easier time befriending some classmates that other friends didn't seem to ever get any in with. But as for Canada today I don't even recognize it anymore compared to my childhood and even my teen years (Actually maybe even my 20's to mid 30's) and am glad I grew up when I did and am not growing up in it today. That suburb that was safer eventually just turned into an extension of Forest Lawn and thankfully is well in my rear view mirrow while living somewhere I at least feel safer in my own home and backyard. So while I feel safer now than I did as a teen the reality is that I live a lot more isolated now too and with games, movies and music can just shutter myself from the outside world that crumbles more and more every day.
P.S. If you read this whole autobiography you are as crazy as teenage me and my friend that were about to go walking across train tracks and a field in pitch black darkness somewhere we knew wasn't safe. I now return you to your regularly scheduled programming of me posting dumb gifs.
P.S. P.S.
