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The NFL Playoffs Thread

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E

Eminem

goddamit, Griese!
Icebeezy, where are you at in Indiana? I only ask because I'm about 35 minutes away from chitown in northwest indiana as well...
 
B

Bowser

Member
lmao I saw it on SportsCenter...

Reporter: "Did you write that check Randy?"
Moss: "Guys like me don't write checks."
R: "Well then how are you going to pay that fine?"
M: "Straight cash, homey."
R: "Did you think the fine was too much?"
M: "Ain't shit but 10 grand to me, next time I might just shake my dick."

edit: Found the actual quotes:

Reporter: "Write the check yet, Randy?"

Moss: "When you're rich you don't write checks."

Reporter: "If you don't write checks, how do you pay these guys?"

Moss: "Straight cash, homey."

Reporter: "Randy, are you upset about the fine?"

Moss: "No, cause it ain't shit. Ain't nothing but 10 grand. What's 10 grand to me? Ain't shit … Next time I might shake my dick."
Click to expand...

:lol
 
D

DMczaf

Member
http://sports.espn.go.com/espn/page2/story?page=simmons/050114

Sports Guy's review of the Wild Card round :lol

Since we were nearing halftime of the Clips game, I grabbed the Sports Gal and dragged her to a little-known bar behind Section 117, a trendy place that serves $10 drinks, $15 appetizers and complimentary Botox injections. You may even see a few NBA groupies trying to coordinate their ovulation cycles. Right as we arrived, some guy at the bar explained the Eric Barton play to us, which sounded like a Level One Stomach Punch. No way the Jets could bounce back from that doozy, right? We watched the Chargers march down for the game-winning score, reaching New York's 23 in a matter of minutes ... and then Marty wrapped both hands around his neck, calling three straight runs for no gain, leading to a 40-yarder (from the right hashmark, no less) for a rookie kicker who had the Kevin Bacon "I can't believe Colonel Jessup just admitted that he ordered the Code Red" Face going. Way to go, Marty. You did it again. The kid pushed it right as the bar exploded. And I paid our check and scurried out of there.
Click to expand...

Scariest omen: Marty's playoff record
Seriously, what's worse than taking the Chargers then seeing them throw up that "5-11" stat? I have never given up on four bets in 0.035 seconds before. I'm telling you, I will never get over taking the Chargers last weekend. Just thinking about it gives me the same feeling I get whenever my wife leaves her keys dangling from our front door for five hours. Again? It happened again?
Click to expand...

Funniest meltdown: Joe Buck
Seeing him gunning for an Emmy after Moss' moon had to be one of the funniest TiVo moments of all-time, right up there with the Jackson wardrobe malfunction and everything Stephen Jackson did during the Artest melee. Hey, remember the days when play-by-play guys were only there to provide play-by-play and set up the color guys? Then Bob Costas started doing baseball games ... within ten years, we had Buck unilaterally deciding the groundrules for moral decency during NFL games, starting a chain reaction that actually led to FOX and ESPN refuse to replay the clip that night. Since when did Buck turn into the Dad from Footloose? Isn't he like 35?

(One other question here: Wasn't Buck the same guy who beat those Babe Ruth pictures and angles into the ground over the past two years during Red Sox playoff games? So he's okay with torturing an entire fan base of young Red Sox fans to build up a media-related curse, but those same young kids need to be protected from seeing somebody pantomine mooning a crowd? How does this work again?)
Click to expand...

And one for FMT

My vote for biggest ongoing hypocrisy: The Brett Favre Era
Forget about the fact that we have to officially change Rule No. 5 in the Playoff Gambling Manifesto to "Don't bet heavily on or against Brett Favre under any circumstances." He couldn't have been worse on Sunday. Wasn't possible. Even Aaron Brooks was embarrassed by the play when Favre threw the ball five yards across the line of scrimmage, but you can't knock him because he's Brett Favre and you're only supposed to gush things like "Does this guy love this game or what?"

(We've officially reached the point where Favre craps the bed 50% of the time in big games. In fact, when I was talking to my buddy Geoff, a huge Vikes fan, before the game, we both mentioned that Minnesota's only chance was for Favre to come out doing Evil Favre things -- namely, throwing the ball up for grabs and making dumb plays. Which is exactly what happened. And the best thing about Favre is that you know right away; there's always time for the makeup halftime wager.)
Click to expand...

:lol :lol :lol :lol
 
A

Archaix

Drunky McMurder
:lol :lol

Oh god, this day is great for comedy. Bill Simmons at the top of his game PLUS Randy Moss vaulting himself onto the top of my "Favorite asshole in sports" list. Go Vikes! Win in the cold again!

By the way, I think ABC's introductions for the starting lineups should also be used at weddings. You know the part when they introduce the bridal party? Instead of having some scheevy DJ introducing everyone, just produce a pre-taped video package like ABC does, with everyone looking into the camera and saying things like, "Bill 'Big Game' Simmons, Usher, College of the Holy Cross." Somebody try this. Please.
Click to expand...

Not only have the Seahawks failed to win a playoff game in 20 years, they have lost three of their last five playoff games on the final play. Personally, I think the franchise should embrace their fan's pain and just start playing The Cure and The Smiths during home games.
Click to expand...
:lol :lol

edit: Oh good lord.

More important, why would you tell Madden and Al Michaels anything? If I were Herman Edwards, I would give the CBS announcers tidbits like, "If we can get Anthony Becht the ball 10-15 times today, we can win" and "I'm going with all onside kicks -- it's never been done before, they'll never see it coming" and even "This is terrible, but my long snapper, has been getting hammered before games and there's nothing I can do about it."
Click to expand...

I like his AFC picks, but I would have to switch the NFC. I see the Vikings and Falcons winning (Based not entirely on my feelings about Mike Martz being the most insane person in the league and my newfound man-crush on Randy Moss), and I don't see either game coming down to the wire.

Patriots are the lock of the week. They will not lose. People do not get this. But they will not lose to the Colts. The Colts are the 1998 Vikings but not quite as good, and the 2004 Pats are a hell of a lot better than the 1998 Falcons. That's all there is to it.
 
E

Eminem

goddamit, Griese!
and just so you guys know, i'm out of town all weekend, and dunno how much internet access i'll have...so if the colts lose and i don't post, don't think i'm being a pussy about it =p

and also, any posts i do make from now until monday will be when i'm incredibly drunk, since me and my friends are going on a 3 day bender. just be forewarned =)
 
N

Ninja Scooter

Member
Eminem said:
and also, any posts i do make from now until monday will be when i'm incredibly drunk, since me and my friends are going on a 3 day bender. just be forewarned =)
Click to expand...

vanderjerk.gif
 
L

levious

That throwing stick stunt of yours has boomeranged on us.
The NFL also fined New York Jets linebacker Eric Barton $7,500 for hitting San Diego quarterback Drew Brees in the head during last weekend's playoff game.
Click to expand...

And Moss' actions were $2,500 worse?
 
F

FrenchMovieTheme

Member
come on levious, we all know that bruises heal. emotional scars such as the ones i suffered by seeing that horrendous act moss displayed will never heal, nor will they fade. i will never forget that for the rest of my life. i can no longer be intimate with my gf, nor can i take a shower with my clothes off ever again. i think im going to sue the nfl infact
 
S

Shoryuken

Member
Randy Moss has elevated himself to one of my favorite players. I'm an Eagles Fan so I want them to win, but I also want Randy Moss to somehow win in this game. I wish there was a way for the Eagles to win and Randy Moss to win, just to shut those horrible analysts (Salisbuy, Schlereth, etc.) the fuck up. Hopefully the Eagles win, but Moss shatters some playoff record.
 
B

Bowser

Member
FrenchMovieTheme said:
come on levious, we all know that bruises heal. emotional scars such as the ones i suffered by seeing that horrendous act moss displayed will never heal, nor will they fade. i will never forget that for the rest of my life. i can no longer be intimate with my gf, nor can i take a shower with my clothes off ever again. i think im going to sue the nfl infact
Click to expand...

If the NFL had any dignity and balls, they would suspend Moss for that panto-moon he did. Fuck a forearm shiver to the head that could cause a serious injury, think of what Moss did to the kids!! THINK OF THE KIDS!!!!!!!11
 
B

Bat

Member
Shoryuken said:
Randy Moss has elevated himself to one of my favorite players. I'm an Eagles Fan so I want them to win, but I also want Randy Moss to somehow win in this game. I wish there was a way for the Eagles to win and Randy Moss to win, just to shut those horrible analysts (Salisbuy, Schlereth, etc.) the fuck up. Hopefully the Eagles win, but Moss shatters some playoff record.
Click to expand...

Couldn't agree more. I want the Eagles to win because I think Mike Tice should be fired as quickly as humanly possible, but I hope Moss shuts all the critics up. He's definetly coming out of all of this looking really good, at least to me.
 
element

element

Member
seattle made their best move of the post season by firing Bob Whitsitt who was president of football operations.

best move. now they just need to sign Hasselbeck, which shouldn't be difficult. Sign Walter Jones, which will be tougher then anything else. Sign Chike Okeafor, which shouldn't be 'that' difficult. I think they are probably going to lose Ken Lucas after his awesome year.

I am thinking they shouldn't even try to resign Alexander. His comments after the last regular season game, and comments that have been coming out after the end of the season really show that Alexander is concerned about 'ME' and not the team. And the Seahawks don't need that.

Also if they are able to get a RB that is an AVERAGE pass blocker and can catch the ball in the flats, i think it would be a addition by subtraction.
 
M

Mrbob

Member
FrenchMovieTheme said:
come on levious, we all know that bruises heal. emotional scars such as the ones i suffered by seeing that horrendous act moss displayed will never heal, nor will they fade. i will never forget that for the rest of my life. i can no longer be intimate with my gf, nor can i take a shower with my clothes off ever again. i think im going to sue the nfl infact
Click to expand...


husband.jpg
 
S

Shinobi

Member
Reporter: "Write the check yet, Randy?"

Moss: "When you're rich you don't write checks."

Reporter: "If you don't write checks, how do you pay these guys?"

Moss: "Straight cash, homey."

Reporter: "Randy, are you upset about the fine?"

Moss: "No, cause it ain't shit. Ain't nothing but 10 grand. What's 10 grand to me? Ain't shit … Next time I might shake my dick."
Click to expand...

:lol :lol :lol 24 hours later and it still cracks me up. I've always been a Moss fan anyway, simply because he's the most talented pure wideout I've ever seen, and because I prefer to think the complete opposite of the full of shit, middle-aged, whitewashed media whenever possible. Too bad TO isn't playing, who I've really come to like the last year or two as well, for similiar reasons (that and he's one of the funniest athletes in sports these days).





Funniest meltdown: Joe Buck
Seeing him gunning for an Emmy after Moss' moon had to be one of the funniest TiVo moments of all-time, right up there with the Jackson wardrobe malfunction and everything Stephen Jackson did during the Artest melee. Hey, remember the days when play-by-play guys were only there to provide play-by-play and set up the color guys? Then Bob Costas started doing baseball games ... within ten years, we had Buck unilaterally deciding the groundrules for moral decency during NFL games, starting a chain reaction that actually led to FOX and ESPN refuse to replay the clip that night. Since when did Buck turn into the Dad from Footloose? Isn't he like 35?
Click to expand...

It's amazing how influential these media bitches are. Had Buck reacted in a normal fashion (or better yet not at all), nobody says shit about Moss. Instead it turns into fucking Moon Gate. Chances are this was done by the media scrots just so they'd (1) not have to admit that they were wrong as fuck about the Vikings, and (2) not have to admit that their golden boy Brett Farve played like a piece of shit.






My vote for biggest ongoing hypocrisy: The Brett Favre Era
Forget about the fact that we have to officially change Rule No. 5 in the Playoff Gambling Manifesto to "Don't bet heavily on or against Brett Favre under any circumstances." He couldn't have been worse on Sunday. Wasn't possible. Even Aaron Brooks was embarrassed by the play when Favre threw the ball five yards across the line of scrimmage, but you can't knock him because he's Brett Favre and you're only supposed to gush things like "Does this guy love this game or what?"

(We've officially reached the point where Favre craps the bed 50% of the time in big games. In fact, when I was talking to my buddy Geoff, a huge Vikes fan, before the game, we both mentioned that Minnesota's only chance was for Favre to come out doing Evil Favre things -- namely, throwing the ball up for grabs and making dumb plays. Which is exactly what happened. And the best thing about Favre is that you know right away; there's always time for the makeup halftime wager.)
Click to expand...

:lol :lol :lol So on point...fuck Farve (or more specifically his cocksuckers). Even Joe Montana sucked towards the end of his career...it's no disgrace.





levious said:
The NFL also fined New York Jets linebacker Eric Barton $7,500 for hitting San Diego quarterback Drew Brees in the head during last weekend's playoff game.


And Moss' actions were $2,500 worse?
Click to expand...


:lol :lol :lol That says it all...fuck Mr Tag.

My picks for this weekend's games...

Steelers
Falcons
Eagles
Patriots

I'm rooting hard for the Colts though...hope they shut me up like the Vikes and Rams did last week. Wouldn't mind seeing the Jets win either, just so Herm Edwards can blast the media for another week. :lol
 
J

Joe

Member
its GO time. lets do this.

chad's time to shine. he's the franchise quarterback, time to really show it.
 
B

BarneyBP

Member
Chad Pennington is a human pain magnet. He just tucks that football away and takes off in the direction of the nearest defensive tackle.

Edit: And I love how Big Ben's arrival from Miami University has caused announcers to begin refering to University of Miami as "Miami of Florida" :lol
 
J

Joe

Member
that brainfart of an interception by pennington is gonna haunt them very badly at the end of the game.
 
B

BarneyBP

Member
And no flags are down! J-E-T-S! JETS! JETS! JETS!

This is what Browns fans have been reduced to.

And we've got a ref down? Hope they have a spare.
 
P

Pimpwerx

Member
Wow! I forgot Moss had some crazy jets on him. Nice fucking return. PEACE.

LOL! That ref played himself. Moss broke his ankles from 30yards away. :lol
 
F

Fifty

Member
Props to the announcers (or moss himself) for saying he was going to bust one open today. He didn't have a punt return TD all season until today.
 
A

andthebeatgoeson

Junior Member
Haha, Moss broke the refs ankles.

Since we were nearing halftime of the Clips game, I grabbed the Sports Gal and dragged her to a little-known bar behind Section 117, a trendy place that serves $10 drinks, $15 appetizers and complimentary Botox injections. You may even see a few NBA groupies trying to coordinate their ovulation cycles. Right as we arrived, some guy at the bar explained the Eric Barton play to us, which sounded like a Level One Stomach Punch. No way the Jets could bounce back from that doozy, right? We watched the Chargers march down for the game-winning score, reaching New York's 23 in a matter of minutes ... and then Marty wrapped both hands around his neck, calling three straight runs for no gain, leading to a 40-yarder (from the right hashmark, no less) for a rookie kicker who had the Kevin Bacon "I can't believe Colonel Jessup just admitted that he ordered the Code Red" Face going. Way to go, Marty. You did it again. The kid pushed it right as the bar exploded. And I paid our check and scurried out of there.
Click to expand...

:lol
 
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