ViewtifulJC
Banned
ah, the life of a college-educated 6'2' lightskin
-
Hey, guest user. Hope you're enjoying NeoGAF! Have you considered registering for an account? Come join us and add your take to the daily discourse.
Tinder is destroying mens self-esteem (New York Post)
- Thread starter entremet
- Start date
- Status
ah, the life of a college-educated 6'2' lightskin
I'm 5'7". My girlfriend is pretty awesome -- not to mention attractive -- and I've learned a long time ago not to care about the whims of shallow people.
If you bought a gas mask that only filtered out red-colored gases you'd still be open to a whole lot of poison. This is the same thing: Having a filter should not be considered the same as having a good filter.
It's an incredibly poor filter if you're at all interested in personality or, you know, anything besides looking at them.
If you bought a gas mask that only filtered out red-colored gases you'd still be open to a whole lot of poison. This is the same thing: Having a filter should not be considered the same as having a good filter.
I'm 5'8 and 30. Prior to Tinder and Bumble, I never once thought about my height and the notion that I was short. After using Tinder and Bumble, I've noticed it definitely has had a negative impact on me. I've become more conscious of my height in relation to others now. Needless to say, I'm off all the apps now. Like others said, it's better to meet someone in real-life.
I was also on OKC and I can say I had more success on that. Met many girls, and had a relationship out of it too. But even there, it's really time-consuming and can be demoralizing. The thing that made OKC better was the fact that I could share more about myself and provided more depth to the people I connected with.
I was also on OKC and I can say I had more success on that. Met many girls, and had a relationship out of it too. But even there, it's really time-consuming and can be demoralizing. The thing that made OKC better was the fact that I could share more about myself and provided more depth to the people I connected with.
Sir Alemeth
Member
I'll be saving women in Tyler Perry films in no time.
But real talk, being a social worker that works with at risk youth makes Tinder easy mode. So does having a picture showing me having lost 161 pounds.
entremet
Member
Weight loss shows self discipline and ambition (you're not settling). Those are attractive qualities.
-COOLIO-
The Everyman
But, like i was saying before, there's a ton of short guys with great personalities and a ton of tall guys with great personalities.
When you get dozens of messages a day, you have to apply filter after filter to whittle down the potential suitors. I don't think there's anything wrong with those tier 1 filters being height, facial attractiveness, wealth etc. Eventually, you'll filter based on personality traits when you get to the in person dates, but you still have to filter a potential 500 guys a week to get down to maybe 3 (if you're ambitious) dates for the week.
Ether_Snake
å®å®å®å®å®å®å®å®å®å®å®å®å®å®å®
On the other hand if you're skinny girls think you have mental issues/are anorexic. Unless you're tall in which case you might just be "lanky".
entremet
Member
Gotta build some muscle, breh.
efyu_lemonardo
May I have a cookie?
I've never heard skinny equated with mental issues before. Are we talking starving to death skinny?
entremet
Member
Not for men anyway.
That's strange. To me, Tinder's had the opposite effect. It hasn't really done much for my dating life (in a year, I've landed four dates out of about a hundred matches, none of which led to anything) but has made me feel a lot more attractive or capable. I'm bad with girls. I get nervous when speaking to someone I'm into, and never know what to say on the fly. I'm also not as social as I'd like to be, so I don't have many opportunities to meet women my age. Even when I do begin to like someone, I'm usually not brave enough to make a move.
But on Tinder, there's no pressure. I usually get one or two matches whenever I use it, which is usually the only reinforcement I get of my own sexual worth. Tinder also lets me practice speaking to women, even if it's through a digital wall. I probably spend too much time swiping, but I really think it's helped me develop social skills and be more confident in the dating world.
I'm also 6'1. This isn't in my profile, and it's not readily apparent from any pictures.
But on Tinder, there's no pressure. I usually get one or two matches whenever I use it, which is usually the only reinforcement I get of my own sexual worth. Tinder also lets me practice speaking to women, even if it's through a digital wall. I probably spend too much time swiping, but I really think it's helped me develop social skills and be more confident in the dating world.
I'm also 6'1. This isn't in my profile, and it's not readily apparent from any pictures.
efyu_lemonardo
May I have a cookie?
Do people immediately think "eating disorder" whenever a woman is just uncommonly thin?
Peterthumpa
Member
Holy shit, that's commitment. I'd start mixing up names and stories after a while.
God Dayumm
Banned
People love throwing that around a lot to make fit women insecure. When 70% of the population is fat, "normal" means something entirely different than 50 years ago.
efyu_lemonardo
May I have a cookie?
Nah dude, that's why you keep records. It's half the reason chats were invented in the first place
That's fucked up.
entremet
Member
No, but that's the only time I see it being used. But not uncommonly thin, though. Mostly model thin.
I mean, it sucks to put in time only to have someone drop off the planet with no reasoning but I just move on, honestly, and I'm never just talking to one woman on dating sites.
I used to dwell on it but now I just hop right back on the horse. It doesn't take me that long to get my foot in the door though so it might be a different story if it did.
I read through tinder and text messages I have with that person before going out, otherwise yeah - I'd probably start mixing shit up lmao. I actually had to exaggerate the length of a vacation I was going on so I could keep people engaged, cause they kept hitting me up to go out. So I said my 4 day vacation two weeks ago was actually two weeks long just to buy myself some time...
Yeah, my weight loss transformation was a complete 180
efyu_lemonardo
May I have a cookie?
Modeling standards is a whole 'nother can of worms. That business is disgusting. I once heard someone joke that it's that way because the most prominent fashion designers idea of beauty is twelve year old boys...
nicoga3000
Saint Nic
Meeting my wife in high school was probably the best thing for me. The dating scene is so toxic. I'm a relatively attractive guy, but I'm not muscular and I'm only 5'-10". Women on these online dating apps and sites sound like the worst.
The opposite is always fun too. Nothing like being called Alex the first time your date says your name when your name is Adam lol.
They're normal people but in tinder you look for hot guys/girls first. All the rest is a nice bonus.
entremet
Member
People keep saying this but it's only because of the generational bias here--20/30s.
Dating gets harder for women as they age and getting long term commitment versus dates/hookups are different things with the former being harder.
Honestly, anyone who says that either hasn't used the app or is just lashing out for a lack of success. Depending on your area, there's a TON of people using these types of services. There's a wide variety of different type of people, and it's honestly no different than what you'd find meeting people the old fashion way. You're going to get shallow people, which is no different than society outside of the application. But there's a lot of great people on there as well.
Peterthumpa
Member
Nah, not always. Back when I was living in Brazil, Belo Horizonte definitely had a favorable women to men ratio. Not sure if 5:1 but not far from that.
efyu_lemonardo
May I have a cookie?
Mostly the time/money wasted is the bigger issue for me, but occasionally I'll hit it off with a girl I really like (for me, having both occur at once is pretty rare), I'll get highly emotionally invested and it ends up going south, those are the times I feel drained and it can take me a week or two to get back in the game.
For sure age won't help but I don't think it'll help dudes either unless they stay in their own range.
g.r.e.
Member
Y-yeah, you too
male beauty standards are actually very horrific and real. Hollywood has stereotyped every man with a bad hairline (which is most men) as being an evil or bad character archetype. those guys don't stand a fucking chance on Tinder.
But you can't have a shirtless mirror pics because that's gross!
So you have to be at the beach or a pool lol.
It's all one big giant chess game.
Ether_Snake
å®å®å®å®å®å®å®å®å®å®å®å®å®å®å®
In general womene see being skinny as something thar is difficult to achieve or maintain, so a skinny guy appears to be trying to be skinny.
Host Samurai
Member
Truth is a girl can't tell if you're 6'1 or 5'11. 5'5 or 5'8 etc if you also wear a big heel. It's easy to skew an inch or 2. All they see is a number online
Dylan Sexbang
Banned
I went on a tinder date, and she asked why another guy had told her, "At least you're not a robot." So I opened up my tinder, swiped a few times and showed her. First match was a bot, and I showed her the automated replies, how they react, and she all of a sudden felt so bad. She didn't realize how hard it was for a guy, because she had like 50+ matches and multiple conversations going. Even if a lot of them were guys asking DTF. Whereas, I showed her my conversations, my lack of replies, and her heart just sank.
Tinder is weird. And weirder if you're average or below.
Tinder is weird. And weirder if you're average or below.
Might order a pair or 3
Mineshaft_Gap
4077th
I'm 5'9" and I absolutely could not date a guy who's shorter than me without it feeling awkward. Sorry bros.
Gotdatmoney
Member
Most men dont stand a chance on tinder because it a 10:1 ratio of guys to girls. Not because they are archetyped as hollywood villains. Come on.
And male beauty standards are literally nothing compared to women where their worth in society is intrinsically tied into their looks. Guys beauty standards is like have nice hair, be decently tall maybe be fit. You think that compares to women?
I don't even think male beauty standards are crazy. It's basically go to the gym.
I actually matched with some girl about a week ago, who after a bit of messaging, ended up apologizing and unmatching with me because she doesn't go out with anyone shorter than her. I'm 6'2" and she's 6'6" haha.... I was like you better camp outside of Staples center and set your radius to 1 mile.
metareferential
Member
It happens, especially with young girls and women.
And even moreso in overweight societies (which is, most developed countries).
nicoga3000
Saint Nic
Of course I haven't used the app...I've been with my wife for over 10 years. Online dating wasn't nearly what it has turned into today. I'm going entirely off of anecdotal evidence.
And of course you can argue that there are good people out there on these apps - the problem is that they're drowned out by the huge number of NOT good people using the same services.
- Status
Similar threads
- Locked