Ether_Snake
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Everything you are saying is just a bunch of generalizations.
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Tinder is destroying mens self-esteem (New York Post)
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Everything you are saying is just a bunch of generalizations.
Subpar Spatula
Banned
Yeah, 'cause men are not shallow and are super accepting of every female form.
What? That's pretty sexist and I feel kinda offended by this generalization. Some men have principles backed by simple thoughts. When I'm picking up a girl, there's always at least one part of my brain processing the worst case scenario...coz I don't want to be stuck with a one-night-stand baby and an ugly mama.
Maybe it's just me and the rest is just a bunch of brainless bangers.
that definitely goes both ways.
freenudemacusers
Member
Chicks are shallow too my wife wouldn't date a guy cuz he had weird thumbs.
LookAtMeGo
Member
I dunno. Ive had this avi for a few years now.
Is this chick copying Jared Leto, or did she do it first
FunkyMunkey
Banned
the biggest thing that i really feel for others guys is the height issue. i'm 6'3'' myself and have plenty of flaws, but speaking to women i usually get a huge boost to my physical likability merely due to my height and helps overshadow other flaws. i've been told it's the first thing a girl usually notices next to smile/eyes, and therefore usually the first roadblock a guy must overcome while online dating. a couple of my friends in sub 5'8" or less range have has abysmal luck online dating mostly due to it. i have short guy friends who are married to or dating beautiful, kind women of course, but online dating definitely creates barriers that i could see hurting some people's self-esteem.
at the end of the day, it's hard to fault anyone though. preferences are preferences and it's everyone's own choice in who they want to date, and it's really not their fault in who they are attracted to
at the end of the day, it's hard to fault anyone though. preferences are preferences and it's everyone's own choice in who they want to date, and it's really not their fault in who they are attracted to
CreepingFear
Member
I see plenty of "tall men" size queens on Tinder, but I just ignore their profiles. Last week I went out with a woman who touched my penis. She texted me that she wants to have sex with me. Just move on and ignore the people who don't want you. That simple.
ViewtifulJC
Banned
I'd interested to hear how penis touching didn't immediately lead to sexual intercourse. Usually those go hand and hand.
sometimes you gotta test the waters before you dive
You mean hand and penis.
CreepingFear
Member
We were in the car talking. Her hand went down my shorts. I do not want to get arrested for public indecency. She was also on her period.
FortuneFaded
Member
You don't dip your toes in the water and then a week later do a cannonball into the pool.
Cindi Mayweather
Member
Huh? How?
maybe the bigger pools are all closed?
Captainbojanglesiii
Banned
More like head in hand
Admiral Woofington
Member
more like ding dong in hoohaa
My resumee:
shorter men should avoid online dating and stop supporting it by adding to the overall account number while gaining nothing out of it, thereby making it less relevant. Simple economic rule.
It's like when people complain about talentless people getting rich on YT but no one is asking themselves where all those YT views come from. It's the same basic principle.
When all those online dating portals are cleansed of below 6'1 guys, the buble is going to burst and we'll have women complaining how shallow guys have become.
I really have to wonder what everyone's endgame is when it comes to dating?
shorter men should avoid online dating and stop supporting it by adding to the overall account number while gaining nothing out of it, thereby making it less relevant. Simple economic rule.
It's like when people complain about talentless people getting rich on YT but no one is asking themselves where all those YT views come from. It's the same basic principle.
When all those online dating portals are cleansed of below 6'1 guys, the buble is going to burst and we'll have women complaining how shallow guys have become.
I really have to wonder what everyone's endgame is when it comes to dating?
Subpar Spatula
Banned
K. And?
There's a power and privilege disparity between men and women. Men have held all the power for so long and men are getting upset when women can finally say, "naw, I don't want to date you because I don't find you, yourself, attractive."
Adapt or die essentially.
Gotdatmoney
Member
Women in general put more effort into physical appearance then guys. This is hardly arguable. If a guy is short and ugly and he aint putting work in A through Z categories to do better why the fuck should people especially women feel bad for him? If you wanna elicit sympathies you minimally have to be putting in work to reach the goal while you're bitching. This isn't an app about self improvement, its about mutual attraction. Better step the fuck up if you aint cutting it son.
And consequently I'm also not particularly interested in how much work the girl whose only connection we have is 5 tinder pics and a bio puts in. I don't care. Either I think you are good looking or I don't. If you can get a right swipe with no effort than that means you really aint gotta worry. Good for you. If you are not that person better try to leverage something else cause you wont have success on Tinder otherwise.
Also, which is it? Men are shallow and have too high standards or guys have no standards and will fuck anything lol?
Sometimes I feel like guys don't wanna put in equivalent effort to girls for greater payoff. We've seen the stats. Best looking girls get the bulk of the likes. Yet you want these 10/10s to filter out all these natural lookers and average guys putting in hella work for you whom wont try? Good luck with that.
And consequently I'm also not particularly interested in how much work the girl whose only connection we have is 5 tinder pics and a bio puts in. I don't care. Either I think you are good looking or I don't. If you can get a right swipe with no effort than that means you really aint gotta worry. Good for you. If you are not that person better try to leverage something else cause you wont have success on Tinder otherwise.
Also, which is it? Men are shallow and have too high standards or guys have no standards and will fuck anything lol?
It's neither.
Sometimes I feel like guys don't wanna put in equivalent effort to girls for greater payoff. We've seen the stats. Best looking girls get the bulk of the likes. Yet you want these 10/10s to filter out all these natural lookers and average guys putting in hella work for you whom wont try? Good luck with that.
FallingEdge
Member
This seems normal tho. Why do you want to date someone who you don't find attractive?
Subpar Spatula
Banned
It's both. It depends on the environment. A man can sleep with a woman but be shallow enough not be out and about with her.
Public perception is a bitch for a shallow person.
Men overwhelming believe they deserve a smoking hot 10000000000000/10 flawless women just because of the history of society. Equality has been unkind to the bitter loners of the world.
Gotdatmoney
Member
Sure a guy can be like that. But you seem to be perpetuating this idea that this is the norm for men in general and I honestly don't know where you are getting the data for this?
This is life, we have shallow people, we have kind people, we have fuckboys, we have doormats, we have confidence. This whole ideal you are portraying about men seems like its outta some shitty frat movie.
If you have some sort of data or something that would be a start. Right now it just sounds angry for no particular reason. There are guys in dating age that spend a year being a girls friend before even thinking about asking them out. Your whole tone is weird.
Uh, you almost make it sound like Tinder finally puts women in the driving seat. Think again.
What if Tinder was only filled with 6foot+, handsome, wealthy 20-40 year old men?
Maybe those men will then start to apply their general preferences to the female online-dating crowd:
Over 30...swipe....below C cup...swipe...no university degree...swipe....too small/too tall swipe....
As a man it's funny how this thread makes men look like poor victims. Do I have to remind everyone that if everything else fails men still face a much better infrastructure for paid sex?
No, if anything Tinder and online-dating will rather reverse female emancipation than driving it forward.
Cindi Mayweather
Member
Subpar Spatula
Banned
Where are you getting your data? It's all anecdotal. I'd also extrapolate my point from the power indifference and how much more outward males are regarding sex. This doesn't happen because men abide by certain standards they set for themselves.
I think it's working if your bitterness is this obvious and unattractive. You must be great with dates.
Gotdatmoney
Member
I'm not the one making generalizations about all men are shallow and simply want sex amd wont be seen with women who arent 10/10s. All I have said is that you have some people like that and some who arent. Yes there are power differences for men and women.You need some actual evidemce to imply most men are like you describe because of it.
Subpar Spatula
Banned
I'm OK with my generalization, then.
Why do you think I was expressing my personal sentiments and feelings?
I was just stating what I've been observing over the years...things women have always complained about. Is that impossible now? The bitter facts work for both sides.
Morrigan Stark
Arrogant Smirk
Haha dude, I used exactly these last two guys as examples in my earlier post here. All of them are hot to me, when they have facial hair and long hair, and all of them look boring and do nothing for me when clean-shaven and short-haired. xD Nicolaj looks stunning on that pic right here, I must say. <3Now I'm curious as to whom you find attractive, or not so attractive. What about Nikolaj Coster-Waldau, Mads Mikkelsen or Viggo Mortensen?
Subpar Spatula
Banned
'cause you just said it.
They're like hairless bears at that point. :3
Please elaborate where exactly you see my bitterness?
Is it the part about paid sex that makes you jump at me?
xeroborn55
Member
fascinating topic and I expect more studies on the effects of online dating in the future.
Personally I met my girlfriend on OKC. We have been together almost 2 years and I've started to consider getting married for the first time in my life. My brother also met his wife at a match .com mixer. I am also 6ft 3 and my girlfriend told me part of the reason she messaged me back was because I was tall. Well, part of the reason i messaged her was because i thought she was hot
anecdotally - i work with a dude who is about 5'8. he hates online dating.
Edit: just asked my girlfriend about this and she said with online dating you can be as picky as you want to be. In person she wouldn't brush off a dude because he's too short, she would probably find something else to latch onto like personality etc, but online she would only respond to men who were over 6ft-ish because she could.
Jawbreaker
Member
I think shallow apps invite shallowness. I also think it's fair game for people to have preferences, though we can also examine what influences the media and our environment have on fostering these feelings. Ultimately, attraction isn't a choice.
For someone who wasn't okay with making fun of people for any reason in the cargo shorts thread you sure are eager to go to personal attacks in this one.
Jason's Ultimatum
Member
Eh are you so shocked? Look at the topic at hand.
Are you a woman? This is just... not representative of the guys I know.
There is a big difference between "attractive enough to date" and 10/10 flawless. And "attractive enough to date" is a sliding scale based on personality and physical attributes.
Even some of my best looking guy friends, that get tons of unsolicited attention from women have seriously dated women that were basically average. And none of my schlubbiest friends are like "Nah, can't date her, she weighs over 135 lbs", or "I don't know, she kind of has crooked teeth".
I have only seen something like that behavior when looking at Tinder, tbh.
Cindi Mayweather
Member
I... Don't think this is true? Seems pretty cynical.
Messofanego
Banned
You might wanna expand on that...
Sucks but that is a realization a short guy comes to long before he starts seriously dating and he should know when he puts himself out there for online dating. I am 33 year old with a well paying career now but I'm 5'7" and have a young looking face so most women seeing me for the first time would immediately dismiss me without knowing anything about me. I knew the same 5 years ago when I met my now wife but it didn't stop me from meeting her. Dude just has to find woman that don't immediately dismiss him based on height and realize those girls are far and few between, ultimately he'll end up with a better girl anyway.
Now that being said if he is just looking to hook up with random hot girls, yeah it can suck.
Now that being said if he is just looking to hook up with random hot girls, yeah it can suck.
Subpar Spatula
Banned
Saying someone's bitter about a system that allows women more freedom in who they talk to isn't a personal attack. Just stating the obvious.
My head is spinning like a jojo now. Pls Gaf decide for me which post contains more explicit bitterness
This system outside of Tinder isn't arranged marriage.Women have always been able to talk to whomever they want.
Women have always had the final say (at least in the lifetime of the average Gaffer). The power dynamic has been with women for a long time. Tinder just amplifies that.
Prodigal Son
Member
So How's Grindr for those who use that?
Subpar Spatula
Banned
Women don't have a lot of power off the Internet dating wise: needing groups at bars or clubs, catcalling, being neutral so some men will go away, etc.
Tinder and other dating websites help level that field so weirdos don't get too close. Heck, even online some men can't take being ignored. Pls respond and all.
Saying they have the final say with how many horror stories there are out there is ignorant.
flintstryker
Banned
Its certainly not true, that guy seem to mostly be talking out of his ass
Saying men expect flawless women is a little bullshit imo. In my experience men definitely care more about looks than women do but they also have much lower standards, especially with regards to casual sex. Despite their higher standards women tend to care less about looks. Looks are still important but personality and chemistry play a greater role than they do with men. So an app that's all about looks will be disadvantageous for some men, even men that aren't the basement dwelling monsters some people here make them out to be. Absolutely nothing can be done about that and complaining doesn't help anyone but let's not pretend all these guys are whining losers putting in no effort. I mean, pretending that exfoliating, some strength training and jiu jitsu is somehow a ton more effort than some of the unlucky guys have ever put in is straight up laughable. For guys, doing all that can still not be enough to cut it on an app like tinder. Again, nothing to be done about it but let's see a little more understanding.
They doesn't make any sense. I read that as they have all the power on and off line, but have to put up with more bullshit.
Lastly, I don't think the majority of offline relationships start with cat calls or randos at bars, certainly once you're in your 30s that's not true anymore.
Most offline relationships happen through shared activities, meeting through mutual acquaintances, etc. Typically the guy pursues and the women has the final say. Or, if a women chooses to pursue her odds of landing a date are very high, even if she just approaches a guy pretty randomly.
What your describing is actually partially a reflection of that power imbalance.
So you think judging someone by his profile picture, stats and some written lines will safe you from this?
Please girl, you can't be that naive. You know, nice and/or handsome looking guys can be assholes, too.
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