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Tinder is destroying men’s self-esteem (New York Post)

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I don't think Subpar is a guy, maybe that would explain some of the shit that's been posted the last page or so. Certainly a different perspective, if nothing else.
 

urge26

Member
I'm in the short camp (almost 5'8") as well and since my divorce have seen this effect to a certain extent but you can't make excuses and have it "hurt" your self esteem... that's a bit ridiculous. I think you just feel that the pool is a little smaller. But I have a tendency to really be attracted to smaller girls (5'0" to 5'4"). It works both ways.
 
I mean its just one nonsense post after another
MtZ9N.gif
 
Women don't have a lot of power off the Internet dating wise: needing groups at bars or clubs, catcalling, being neutral so some men will go away, etc.

Tinder and other dating websites help level that field so weirdos don't get too close. Heck, even online some men can't take being ignored. Pls respond and all.

Saying they have the final say with how many horror stories there are out there is ignorant.

I'm not sure I even know what this means
 

Markoman

Member
I'm not sure I even know what this means

Either Subpar is just a lazy person who prefers getting rid of unwanted guys with the swipe of a finger instead of, when in a bar/club, telling them in a mannered fashion that she is not interested, or she hangs out at Bandidos/Hell's Angels Rock bars and has seen some bad shit.

Third option: she's super hot but also ultra arrogant and feels insulted when a plebs guy talks to her.
 
Saying men expect flawless women is a little bullshit imo. In my experience men definitely care more about looks than women do but they also have much lower standards, especially with regards to casual sex. Despite their higher standards women tend to care less about looks. Looks are still important but personality and chemistry play a greater role than they do with men. So an app that's all about looks will be disadvantageous for some men, even men that aren't the basement dwelling monsters some people here make them out to be. Absolutely nothing can be done about that and complaining doesn't help anyone but let's not pretend all these guys are whining losers putting in no effort. I mean, pretending that exfoliating, some strength training and jiu jitsu is somehow a ton more effort than some of the unlucky guys have ever put in is straight up laughable. For guys, doing all that can still not be enough to cut it on an app like tinder. Again, nothing to be done about it but let's see a little more understanding.

You put it more eloquently than I ever could. But the only thing that can be done is to get a thicker skin and be more of a shark. Good news is, that helps in every aspect of life and not just dating.
 

Shanlei91

Sonic handles my blue balls
Paid for OkCupid so I could filter matches by question (even if a person hides their answer they will still come up in results). Looked up the following for fun:

Search of women ages 18-32 who want kids and answered that yes, they're willing to date someone shorter than them: 12 women popup.

Search of women ages 18-32 who want kids and answered that yes, overweight people annoy them: pages and pages of women popup.

How is Tinder the one being targeted for destroying people's self-esteem? haha
 
Paid for OkCupid so I could filter matches by question (even if a person hides their answer they will still come up in results). Looked up the following for fun:

Search of women ages 18-32 who want kids and answered that yes, they're willing to date someone shorter than them: 12 women popup.

Search of women ages 18-32 who want kids and answered that yes, overweight people annoy them: pages and pages of women popup.

How is Tinder the one being targeted for destroying people's self-esteem? haha
From my experience all dating apps are shit. I wouldn't even be on the pieces of shit if I wasn't so damn shy.
 
I wish I wasn't short :( 5'9. I've legit heard girls I know say guys under 6 feet aren't appealing. I nearly yelled at one of them who said guys under 6'2 need to hit the gym and get taller. Like what the fuck.

Sounds like you're talking to women about height which is odd IMO but it also seems you're talking to/hanging out with shitty people in general

Guys say they won't date a girl without "X" constantly IRL
 
Haha, I'm imagining the roller coaster you.need to be 6'2" to ride.
You need to be at least this tall, and your skin color needs to be at least this light.

Also no fatties.

but hey maybe if you work out and become more interesting the rollercoaster will let you on.
 

FLAguy954

Junior Member
In my experience black women like this have had really bad experiences with black men, especially in a non romantic manner. I've known women who hate black men because they were dark skinned and their father made fun of them for it. Then there's the women who have been abused emotionally (and further) and now equate black men as scum of the Earth because they have been routinely disappointed and treated like shit. There's the rare exception when the girl just isn't attracted to black men and has always preferred other men. Rarer but still happens now and then. Since she's dark, I can only assume due to her attitude that black men have treated her poorly for it and she doesn't want to be in that situation ever again, so says no black men as a rule now.

My ex was like this. The men in her life were so disappointing that she didn't even envision dating a black guy until we met. I do my best to bust the stigma against black men being uneducated, abusive, etc by being respectful and finishing some type of schooling myself. There are some girls where it's just too late though and they have made up their minds against all black men.
 

Unbounded

Member
In my experience black women like this have had really bad experiences with black men, especially in a non romantic manner. I've known women who hate black men because they were dark skinned and their father made fun of them for it. Then there's the women who have been abused emotionally (and further) and now equate black men as scum of the Earth because they have been routinely disappointed and treated like shit. There's the rare exception when the girl just isn't attracted to black men and has always preferred other men. Rarer but still happens now and then. Since she's dark, I can only assume due to her attitude that black men have treated her poorly for it and she doesn't want to be in that situation ever again, so says no black men as a rule now.

In my experience every single black woman I've ever dated broke it off because I didn't have Jesus up my ass, or ended up being batshit crazy.

In my experience for some inexplicable reason every black guy I know who has dated a black woman either got dumped because of some religious BS or she ended up being extremely emotionally abusive.

Because I'm a fucking adult and not a racist piece of shit, however, I'm not going to go ahead and say "lol black women aren't worth dating" because I realize that my experiences up till now constitute a very small subset of the possible experiences that can occur, and that not every single black women out there is super religious/batshit crazy/emotionally abusive, just the ones I so happened to be involved with are.
 
You need to be at least this tall, and your skin color needs to be at least this light.

Also no fatties.

but hey maybe if you work out and become more interesting the rollercoaster will let you on.

The rollercoaster might let you on when you stop making excuses.

In my experience every single black woman I've ever dated broke it off because I didn't have Jesus up my ass, or ended up being batshit crazy.

In my experience for some inexplicable reason every black guy I know who has dated a black woman either got dumped because of some religious BS or she ended up being extremely emotionally abusive.

Because I'm a fucking adult and not a racist piece of shit, however, I'm not going to go ahead and say "lol black women aren't worth dating" because I realize that my experiences up till now constitute a very small subset of the possible experiences that can occur, and that not every single black women out there is super religious/batshit crazy/emotionally abusive, just the ones I so happened to be involved with are.

Uh. Not sure what your point is.

My ex was like this. The men in her life were so disappointing that she didn't even envision dating a black guy until we met. I do my best to bust the stigma against black men being uneducated, abusive, etc by being respectful and finishing some type of schooling myself. There are some girls where it's just too late though and they have made up their minds against all black men.

I feel you. Hope she has good experiences in the future.
 

ishibear

is a goddamn bear
I'm not religious either. I appreciate people who are spiritual because I believe there is enrichment to life through it and many who are religious are very wise persons, however, I only go to church when there's a funeral or something... 😅

That said, I'm super chill and easy going about everything. If I met someone who was religious, I might join in on their practice if it interests me.

Funny thing, why is hyper religious views always associated with black women when most people actually look for a "good Christian person"? My experience? Black people are spiritual on Sundays. The rest of the week? Pfffffffft!!!
 
I'm not religious either. I appreciate people who are spiritual because I believe there is enrichment to life through it and many who are religious are very wise persons, however, I only go to church when there's a funeral or something... 😅

That said, I'm super chill and easy going about everything. If I met someone who was religious, I might join in on their practice if it interests me.

Same. Not religious but have a high respect for it and spirituality.
 

SatansReverence

Hipster Princess
Eh tinders helps me.

The only guys it wont are the overconfident conceited type and they need to be taken down a couple rungs to reality anyway.
 
The rollercoaster might let you on when you stop making excuses.
I wasn't excusing, I was cracking wise. But what you see as excuses are realities many others have to face, and as has been repeated to death, deal with. If you've been in GAF dating threads, you've surely seen that chart about attraction ratings by race? It's not something that's only in people's heads.Try to see it from their perspective and don't be so quick to put down other people's grievances.

And that's all it is at the end of the day, grievances. No one can actually force people to find certain people attractive. We can't pass laws on being prejudiced when deciding who to fuck or find a soul mate.
 

bounchfx

Member
This thread hits too close to home for so many people, they're sensitive to the fact they've been rejected.

even with a lot of self esteem it's hard to ignore the idea that you immediately miss out on 60% of women based on an uncontrollable trait

but that's life yo
some people born ugly
 

Markoman

Member
I pass the height test, what do I win? Oh, don't bother to answer, I know it - the affection of women on Tinder of course

LOL
"Win"? How cute. At best your height will work like an admission for the upper league game.
We'll talk about your "price" in 10 years or so. ;P
 
I'm not sure I even know what this means

Then you 100% don't understand the power imbalance within dating between the genders.

I mean its just one nonsense post after another, I'm just trying to figure this shit out with ya'll, too lol.

You call my anecdotes nonsense. You are a very convincing person. Hooray, you called them nonsense, you sure got a winning argument going on. How about instead of calling them nonsense you list the good men do when dating?
 

Markoman

Member
Then you 100% don't understand the power imbalance within dating between the genders.

Stop trolling or put more effort in your wording. How can "dating" have a power imbalance when it's a clear arrangement of two persons who agree on meeting each other.

btw...screw you 'murica for bringing dating-culture and "dating" as a term to continental Europe
 
Stop trolling or put more effort in your wording. How can "dating" have a power imbalance when it's a clear arrangement of two persons who agree on meeting each other.

btw...screw you 'murica for bringing dating-culture and "dating" as a term to continental Europe

Because between men and women there's a power imbalance. It's why revenge porn, rape, stalking, online threats, beauty, sexual assault, etc. are heavily skewed towards women. It's not uncommon for a woman to be passive during a man's advances to just get him to leave her alone. This is where that divide comes from. Women are not equal in the dating game, they're a designed notch on the belt a lot of men believe they deserve. When women ignore or say "no thx" to guys online and that upsets them, that's every one seeing what happens when they can't get their way.

I honestly don't get how you don't see this imbalance. If you don't see how this affects dating as a whole then you're literally being ignorant of reality. Oh, and it's not just America.
 

Markoman

Member
Because between men and women there's a power imbalance. It's why revenge porn, rape, stalking, online threats, beauty, sexual assault, etc. are heavily skewed towards women. It's not uncommon for a woman to be passive during a man's advances to just get him to leave her alone. This is where that divide comes from. Women are not equal in the dating game, they're a designed notch on the belt a lot of men believe they deserve. When women ignore or say "no thx" to guys online and that upsets them, that's every one seeing what happens when they can't get their way.

I honestly don't get how you don't see this imbalance. If you don't see how this affects dating as a whole then you're literally being ignorant of reality. Oh, and it's not just America.

Ok, at least you're now putting more effort in your arguments, so I'll answer you...
But isn't this the wrong thread for you then? This is a thread about shorter men facing the reality that women can be just as shallow as them. Isn't it ironic?: If you're a 5'5 woman choosing a 6'3 guy...guess what? Of course there is a "power" imbalance. Not only are women on average physically weaker than men, but some of them tend to choose specimen that'll put them at an even greater power-delta. Height gives men confidence? This is true, so a tall guy will also (eventually) gain a psychological advantage over women. Let me repeat, this is the wrong thread to discuss the lack of equality between men and women.The only thing that's equal here is the realization for any sensible person that most men AND women are shallow as fuck...

And I'm not saying this in bitterness. I've been playing the game for a long time now and I think I know most of it's rules by now, so I'll keep on.

I don't really get from your posts whether you're pro or anti online-dating. What are your experiences here? No offense: are you in your late teens, early twens?

And concerning the thing I wrote about "dating"-culture...older Gaf from Europe will understand what I've meant to say.
 
Ok, at least you're now putting more effort in your arguments, so I'll answer you...
But isn't this the wrong thread for you then? This is a thread about shorter men facing the reality that women can be just as shallow as them. Isn't it ironic?: If you're a 5'5 woman choosing a 6'3 guy...guess what? Of course there is a "power" imbalance. Not only are women on average physically weaker than men, but some of them tend to choose specimen that'll put them at an even greater power-delta. Height gives men confidence? This is true, so a tall guy will also (eventually) gain a psychological advantage over women. Let me repeat, this is the wrong thread to discuss the lack of equality between men and women.The only thing that's equal here is the realization for any sensible person that most men AND women are shallow as fuck...

And I'm not saying this in bitterness. I've been playing the game for a long time now and I think I know most of it's rules by now, so I'll keep on.

I don't really get from your posts whether you're pro or anti online-dating. What are your experiences here? No offense: are you in your late teens, early twens?

And concerning the thing I wrote about "dating"-culture...older Gaf from Europe will understand what I've meant to say.

You don't understand the hardships women face to be physically acceptable to others which is why your equal shallowness proposition comes off as bitter. You simply do not understand.

Come back with this equal argument when men face the same types of beauty standards as women.
 

NoRéN

Member
You don't understand the hardships women face to be physically acceptable to others which is why your equal shallowness proposition comes off as bitter. You simply do not understand.

Come back with this equal argument when men face the same types of beauty standards as women.
Fuck off with this immature bullshit. Men face scrutiny as well.

"You don't understand" isn't that great an argument either. You're coming off as naive or purposefully ignorant.

Or if that doesn't work for you, YOU don't understand men face to be physically acceptable. There's no makeup for height.
 
NoRéN;214425351 said:
Fuck off with this immature bullshit. Men face scrutiny as well.

"You don't understand" isn't that great an argument either. You're coming off as naive or purposefully ignorant.

Or if that doesn't work for you, YOU don't understand men face to be physically acceptable. There's no makeup for height.

Oh know, men get told they're too unattractive to date. Welcome to what women have been facing for decades on a much larger scale. This is the effects of men being dealt a similar hand and they just can't take it. The entitlement is coming crashing down and it's bringing many great stories like "pls respond".
 

Koodo

Banned
Ok, at least you're now putting more effort in your arguments, so I'll answer you...
But isn't this the wrong thread for you then? This is a thread about shorter men facing the reality that women can be just as shallow as them. Isn't it ironic?: If you're a 5'5 woman choosing a 6'3 guy...guess what? Of course there is a "power" imbalance. Not only are women on average physically weaker than men, but some of them tend to choose specimen that'll put them at an even greater power-delta. Height gives men confidence? This is true, so a tall guy will also (eventually) gain a psychological advantage over women. Let me repeat, this is the wrong thread to discuss the lack of equality between men and women.The only thing that's equal here is the realization for any sensible person that most men AND women are shallow as fuck...

And I'm not saying this in bitterness. I've been playing the game for a long time now and I think I know most of it's rules by now, so I'll keep on.

I don't really get from your posts whether you're pro or anti online-dating. What are your experiences here? No offense: are you in your late teens, early twens?

And concerning the thing I wrote about "dating"-culture...older Gaf from Europe will understand what I've meant to say.
lmao, the power imbalance has little to do with the individual and more with the patriarchal, misogynistic society we live in. Women are at a disadvantage for precisely the reasons Spatula has been listing – they face a system that's actively working to denigrate them on a daily basis. It's blatantly false to say women's shallowness is equal to that of men – or more specifically, that it holds the same weight as that of men. It's the same as saying a person of colour's "racism" is equal to that of a white person's racism. The minority does not hold the power so whatever they say are just literally words. The group in power (the shallowness of men in this particular case of dating) are not just words but actions that are actively feeding into the harsher standards of beauty and obscene objectification that women face on a daily basis.

And this is precisely evident in the entirely male discourse of "woe, why don't women like me," which is rooted in a sense of entitlement and historic ownership over women's body. They don't have to like you nor do they even have to give you a reason for not liking you.
 
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