I do think privilege has many levels to it - be it racial or even economic. I have been passed over work due to my skin color to white men and women.
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Tinder is destroying mens self-esteem (New York Post)
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I do think privilege has many levels to it - be it racial or even economic. I have been passed over work due to my skin color to white men and women.
Why not? Why aren't women allowed to do everything men have been allowed to do? Why are we holding them to this impossible standard just so men don't "feel bad?"
Principate
Saint Titanfall
This feels a bit disingenious, you can only definitely solve problems about yourself global problems are several magnitudes and that assumes "you" have the solution to a problem which indivduallly they might not but with help from others they may be able to have some lasting affect. It's not an easy or new problem, and it's something most people would be aware of if they thought about it. As with many issues the biggest hurdles are apathy and unwillingness to change.
LookAtMeGo
Member
Ive been told I have "that look" to me by girls on Tinder. But they were glad they met me because I'm not one of "those guys"
Whatever that means.
Whatever that means.
heliosRAzi
Banned
Those guys are only about that thing, that thing, that thing.
I hear Bumble is awesome
FallingEdge
Member
lol @ doods feeling inadequate if someone were to post pictures of other guys
do something about your dumpy ass, hit the gym and bring something to the table instead of complaing
do something about your dumpy ass, hit the gym and bring something to the table instead of complaing
Arrowgigantic
Member
I have this pic on my tinder profile.
I would too but I wouldn't want to disappoint girls who want to see the party trick.
JadedWriter
Member
Probably cause I've been treated like crap by every woman I've ever liked and when I do get a first date they're probably weirded out by my "Hands off" first date practices.
LookAtMeGo
Member
Ahhh I figured as much. Im still about that thing but its not all im about.
That's not what she's saying. She's providing perspective for something women have dealt with for ages in the hopes someone will see it and go "wow I never thought of it that way".
Men feeling down about their height is terrible and no one should feel lesser because of something they can't control. But how many times will you see men say "sharp knees wouldn't bang" or "I'm not attracted to X for these reasons"? They go hand in hand here. Women saying they prefer tall/handsome/etc characteristics on a man is the same as men saying the quotes above. We can call it picky, mean, rude etc but if that's what someone prefers, that's all there is to it.
That's not incentive for shorter/average/etc men to feel like shit, that's incentive to understand what it's like to have your appearance be the end all be all. You can either A, try to change things about yourself or B, accept that you aren't someone's type and move on.
That's what women have been doing. Now, I'm sorry guys but this is becoming a mutual demand. Don't get disheartened. Learn to accept you aren't perfect and move on or try to make yourself appealing somehow and give it a shot.
So is Tom Cruise. He's beautiful on the inside tho
Thanks Not, now I have to clean my keyboard from juice.
Cindi Mayweather
Member
I already know all men aren't the same. But men generally act like assholes so it's smart to assume all men are the same unless proven otherwise. Especially when dating. This is important because men will and can kill you. Before going on dates, mothers teach their daughters protocol for safety for a reason. My friends and I, when we're on first, second, third dates and trust is being garnered have a protocol where we send a simple text saying we're okay at 11 pm. We have a rule that if you don't call or text by 12 am while on the date, something is up, and to call the police. We take zero chances. One time it has ended with a girl and dude being found kissing and they were having so much fun she forgot to send a follow up message, but better safe than sorry. The 12 am call, we have a password. Say you're calling your mom and she, or I, depending on who's not on the date will ask,"are you coming to church tomorrow?" Yes means you're having a fine time and feel safe. No means to bail the fuck out because the dude seems sketchy. So on a first date, I never have a man come pick me up so he knows where I live. I never go to his place on the first date either because I'm not stupid. We will meet at that location and it won't be a location I regular go either, because I don't have shit where I eat. Trust is meant to be built. Trust is earned.
Those are the type of safety protocols we use every day for mere survival in a man's world. Are all men the same? No. But you'd be dumb to not assume every random man you just met doesn't have at least the same basic, primal intentions.
Those are the type of safety protocols we use every day for mere survival in a man's world. Are all men the same? No. But you'd be dumb to not assume every random man you just met doesn't have at least the same basic, primal intentions.
Might help to view women as human beings like you just trying to find love and making the same mistakes you are, rather than lumping all individual women into one category.
Not really, but I lean more radical in my feminism than many. The fact is, women are still being honor-killed and not elected President and getting assaulted and hit on and threatened and catcalled and shamed. You have to really understand where they're coming from in order to want to make a difference, and that's hard for men without those experiences to understand.
Principate
Saint Titanfall
Prophet Steve
Member
I'm not sure if it is inadequacy, it is not expecting and not being used to provoking imagery of men. Many are completely used to have images of half naked women anywhere but get uncomfortable if they are replaced by men because they aren't attracted to that.
JadedWriter
Member
lightskintwin
Banned
Maybe I'm the only one, but I don't' feel like nothing has changed that much between the different power dynamics between men and women in the dating game; including online apps.
What that got to do with her post
Oh I'm not looking for any solutions or dating advice. I've never even used tinder or other dating websites/apps. I just meant that I think people can be a little dismissive whenever guys complain about anything related to dating and I think that's unnecessary. Ultimately no one can help someone do better at dating, it's all about what you do yourself but that doesn't mean complaining and having people be understanding doesn't feel good occasionally.
Silent Chief
Member
Most women like guys that are taller than they are, but there's a lot of short women out there too.
EdibleKnife
Member
There is no conspiracy of all women vs. you though. Women can go through the exact same swaths of men who treat them like crap. All that is is literal luck of the draw and what both parties are expecting from the interaction. Yet women are socially the ones expected to be "just a little nicer" when they should have the opportunity to act and expect whatever they'd like out of a date just like males. If you have certain behaviors or expectations on a first date then lay that on the table and you'll get partners who gel with it. Pure and simple.
Yeah, definitely can't relate.
heliosRAzi
Banned
Some girls are only about that thing, that thing, that thing, too
Principate
Saint Titanfall
? Yeah this where we differ, you could swap men with black people, and you end up at a random racists reasoning complete with one of the good ones. Which is why I can never subscribe to that thinking regardless of the context. Doesn't describe all the shit the vast majority of men have done if you take the humanity as a whole has done. Which is significant and abhorent, but I don't think I'll ever be comfortable with that sort of generalisation in regards to things you can't control.
lightskintwin
Banned
It is definitely not just luck.
My man. Too bad I'm tall enough where it so rarely happens.
LookAtMeGo
Member
I was expecting that most would going on Tinder but then 90% of the profiles I see say "No hookups"
Cindi Mayweather
Member
You're 6'2, though. Most men aren't 6'2. You intimidate them. Most men aren't going to try it. Your height probably acts as an asshole filter.
JadedWriter
Member
I will admit that I have the weirdest taste in women and probably shouldn't even really be responsible for picking whom I like. I wouldn't mind being set up, but everybody I know knows nobody single so I just continue blundering across a rather unenjoyable dating life.
Might be helpful not to get into that mindset where the only reason another human being, especially a woman, can get with an unattractive person is for their money. It's false and leads to unfounded resentment.
You responded:
...when asked why you were taking Cindi's post personally. She hasn't treated you like crap the way those women have. Why are you feeling attacked? Every woman is different, just like every man.
LookAtMeGo
Member
Does anyone ever use the super like?
You could also swap it with racists (or begrudgingly white people) and the point would be relatively the same. I don't know why black people has to be the go to for comparison all the damn time.
Swapping either of these examples feels distasteful and distracting for me. Can we stop it?
No. Seems desperate
lightskintwin
Banned
Everybody want a part of that struggle when it conveniently helps them.
LookAtMeGo
Member
Fuck
I usually swipe right everyone who super likes me.
I remember the first day (and my last day) of using Tinder resulted in me hitting that button accidentaly all the time. I felt so embarrassed 😅
But man judging people based on looks just felt sick & disgusting to me so I just deleted the app.
Principate
Saint Titanfall
Yeah why do black people go to these comparison all the damn time, maybe because they personally effected by people that use that line thinking and would would not to have other people continue it. But those damn black people using those same arguements all the time!
Maybe just maybe it's not good to be prejudice against someone and assume they are fundamentally bad before changing your opinion. That's where that term comes from.
Ikr. Y'all have no idea how hurtful that shit is. It would be one thing if we were in a better position now but dammit black folks are still struggling. Stop the damn comparisons.
heliosRAzi
Banned
I'm just quoting a song at you and I can't think/too lazy to look up the rest of the lyrics, though. Good luck on Tinder!
U know what' up. Totally agree and don't even care if they tower me in hh. The pro overweighs.
The urge to defend men's self esteem over women's, to summarize my take on this whole thread, seems unnecessary to me when the rest of society contributes so much towards men's confidence without them even realizing.
It does, which is intersectionality. White people both men and women need to acknowledge their privilege in comparison to people of colour. Even within minorities, intersectionality works in a way that specific subsets need to acknowledge their privilege over others (black men v. black women, white queer v. poc queer, etc). It's important to acknowledge the ways you are in a position of power and the ways you are in a position of discrimination because this helps to sympathize with the plight of others and ultimately work towards progress.
But this is a tangent right now in the topic of dating between opposite genders though.
Black people have been historically oppressed. Any attempts at rationalization of racist attitudes is born from that oppression. Men historically have not had a comparable experience at the hands of women. That's why you can't just swap in the word 'black'.
What's your problem
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