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[Principate]

Men need to step up the plate and start showing that empathy in large swaths, then.

"men" can't do that, no more than "women" I can do all can to help stop the toxic issues that permeaute women's daily lives and I can try to get others to do the same, but neither I or anyone else can put a definite stop to 3.5 billion peoples actions.

 

[Subpar Spatula]

"men" can't do that, no more than "women" I can do all can to help stop the toxic issues that permeaute women's daily lives and I can try to get others to do the same, but neither I or anyone else can put a definite stop to 3.5 billion peoples actions.

Then don't be upset when these actions lead to women saying no to you. You may have not done anything wrong but chances are there were men who did. It's literally that simple.

 

[Cindi Mayweather]

LOL.

Catching up.

Let's be honest. Tinder is a date-slash-fuck app. As said, Tinder is all about looks and presentation. Hell yeah I'm going to swipe left on some dude I don't think looks good using Tinder. That's Tinder's entire purpose. Calling me a bully is stretching. Saying I have a "negative attitude" is stretching it even further. That's how Tinder works. Anyone who uses Tinder the way it's made for is going to get some type of ego boost. Tinder is made for getting that hormonal rush. What I do isn't vindictive at all. I do everything everyone else is doing. I certainly don't put my personal feelings into it when I used Tinder. Swipe left or swipe right. That's it. But it does give an ego boost. That cannot be denied. Do you think men don't get ego boosts from Tinder as well? A dude getting a date a day, doesn't have anything to feel good about? That's Tinder in a nutshell. That's what Tinder is designed for.

And that's why I don't like Tinder. Get that? I find it vain and shallow, so I make like a good girl and don't use it. When I was looking for dates, I tried Tinder and OKC. I found OKC better for me because not every man there was a total dog. Tinder is full of creeps and twerps and its main function is getting laid. At the time, I wanted to get laid, but not with a bunch of randoms. I used Tinder for a week and then deleted it. I like to date and see if he's okay, so I like OKCupid more.

Is it good men are getting lower self esteem through Tinder? Yes. Why? Men need to be reminded they're on Earth along for the ride just like everyone else. A lot of men aren't like that. A lot of men think they're some kind of king. When I go to the store, I now purposely turn my ass away from view when shopping because before I did this, I had at least one guy every other trip at least try to "accidentally" brush his hand or groin region on my ass. Heaven forbid when I go to tight areas like concerts. The other day at work, someone slapped my ass because he can. I can't do a thing about it. A man can't handle it. Assert yourself, you're angry at best and a bitch at worst, even if you're talking calmly. Fact is, men are gonna try it. On Tinder, let's send a message to this black girl over here and ask her to personally train them sexually. They'll be serious too. They're going to try it because they think they're the shit. That they're the supreme commander. That they are owed my body. Like I'm a piece of meat. The best you can do is be reminded that you're not shit. You're not owed shit, either. A lot of men don't get that. This thread is a great example of that. Turned away on Tinder for "being short" and suddenly your world is crashing down where you blame all of your inadequacies either on external factors out of your control (your height) or on women that are denying you. You don't put extra effort into it, but somehow, Tinder is the one at fault. Your self esteem is so high and so delusional that you think you're owed being with a woman, even though you're short and don't put anything into your body. You need more self esteem, why exactly?

When I say it's good men are getting less self esteem, I'm not saying it's good for men to have no self esteem. Because no woman is going for that. However, I do think it's good for men and women for men to realize that they're just as flawed as the women they critique and analyze and put effort into getting a date. The trick is a healthy amount of self esteem: not too much, not too little. If apps like Tinder allow to happen and more men realize that they're not as desired as they thought they were, which results in them putting more into themselves - their body, their personality, their interests - then yeah, that's a good thing. If it makes more men realize they're not shit for grabbing my ass and that shits not gonna work and they need to actually treat me like a fucking human being and not a piece of meat, it's a good thing.

Finally, the idea that men are objectified more than women is some grade A horse shit. If I posted the dudes I find hot, naked, I know for a fact y'all wouldn't last. There would be complaining "I'm out";etc. Men go in random tangents about how hot women are all the time. Hell, we could just use examples straight from gaf. Helping a sister on gaf with pics of hair styles? Dudes gonna comment on how much they wanna smash em. Talking about something totally different, like, it could be fucking, I don't know...tacos or something, right? Dude is gonna come up with a random tangent on how hot he thinks girl is. Gonna post pics in provocative poses and stuff. You'll have to suffer through every time ShinMaruku posts his crappy ass hentai in the FGC threads. You'll have suffer through it and grit your teeth any time any talk turns into "let's post hot girls we wanna smash" in the BCT thread. On The Coli, any thing can turn into objectification of women. I went into The Get Down thread there because the GAF thread is dead and half of that thread is talking about how much the men want to fuck the lead actress and asking whether or not she's legal. You can find the same behavior on gaf. Straight up dogs. Shit is a plague. But I bet you if I posted random men, men would lose their shit, and they have before. "Why do you post men so much?" "This makes me feel inadequate." "Why are you a size queen?" "You know you'll never get a man like that." "I don't like looking at that, I'm not a faggot." Do a social experiment. Join any goddamn message board and post pics of hot men. Don't assign a gender to your username at all. It doesn't matter. What you'll get are a bunch of soft men who can't handle seeing a half naked (or naked!) man like how much they go through random hot girl pics. They can't handle it. Because as said, they're not shit. Shatter those egos. It's not like it's hard. It's like washing your hands, or making mashed potatoes, or cooking a cup of instant ramen. And that's just online. Offline, I could make an entire thesis on that subject, but the contention that men are objectified more than women is some hilarious teeny bopper MRA shit.

 

[kavanf1]

Men's objectification of women permeates and affects much of their daily lives. Females objectification of men does almost fucking nothing.

We've got a thread with roughly 2.5k posts right here that says otherwise.

Have you lost out non beauty orientated jobs or had complaints about your looks in a work everyonement, because your not young enough or hot enough? This is shit that actually people in manners that it has no business doing so.

I'm probably the wrong person to pick that argument with. I do plenty in real life to support women in the workplace. I have a daughter, so I have a vested interest in making the working world better for her when she starts out in a few years. I do what I can to help make that happen.

Regardless, that has nothing to do with the reality that the majority of women objectify men in a similar way to the way men objectify women - just spend some time with a group of women on a night out to see it happen. Now, that society in general has historically accepted this from the male perspective but not the female is a valid point, but I wasn't talking historically, I was referring to the first world in 2016 (ie the thread topic).

Just to return to the point I was making - and this is the only point I was making: this is not a male-only issue, which is what some posters were making out earlier in the thread. (Again, the existence of this thread shows that.) In terms of driving for full equality, I'd prefer to take a "rising tide lifts all boats" kind of approach than a "drag everyone down to the lowest level" kind of approach. The idea that men were dicks for years so now it's cool for them to feel like shit until we can all feel the same level of shit about ourselves just doesn't sit right with me. I'd sooner say you know what, the past was shit for women, but let's make the future better for everyone instead of taking turns dragging each other down. That's just my take on it, others may prefer to see men suffer for the offences committed by other men in the past, but that's up to them.

You posted a photo and said "men and women objectify each other in the same way" with, apparently, this picture as proof of "double standards".

The fact that you can't see the difference between the two photos and the disingenous subtitles on each of the pictures is disturbing to me.

The difference between those two pictures is not that they're both objectifying genders, but because of the cumulative history and systemic effects of one as opposed to the other.

The main lesson I've learned here is not to include a jokey picture from reddit in my post because people will jump on that without reading the words I wrote and assign the cumulative weight of man's historical wrongdoings to me based on a shared image.

 

[Subpar Spatula]

LOL.

Catching up.

Let's be honest. Tinder is a date-slash-fuck app. As said, Tinder is all about looks and presentation. Hell yeah I'm going to swipe left on some dude I don't think looks good using Tinder. That's Tinder's entire purpose. Calling me a bully is stretching. Saying I have a "negative attitude" is stretching it even further. That's how Tinder works. Anyone who uses Tinder the way it's made for is going to get some type of ego boost. Tinder is made for getting that hormonal rush. What I do isn't vindictive at all. I do everything everyone else is doing. I certainly don't put my personal feelings into it when I used Tinder. Swipe left or swipe right. That's it. But it does give an ego boost. That cannot be denied. Do you think men don't get ego boosts from Tinder as well? A dude getting a date a day, doesn't have anything to feel good about? That's Tinder in a nutshell. That's what Tinder is designed for.

And that's why I don't like Tinder. Get that? I find it vain and shallow, so I make like a good girl and don't use it. When I was looking for dates, I tried Tinder and OKC. I found OKC better for me because not every man there was a total dog. Tinder is full of creeps and twerps and its main function is getting laid. At the time, I wanted to get laid, but not with a bunch of randoms. I used Tinder for a week and then deleted it. I like to date and see if he's okay, so I like OKCupid more.

Is it good men are getting lower self esteem through Tinder? Yes. Why? Men need to be reminded they're on Earth along for the ride just like everyone else. A lot of men aren't like that. A lot of men think they're some kind of king. When I go to the store, I now purposely turn my ass away from view when shopping because before I did this, I had at least one guy every other trip at least try to "accidentally" brush his hand or groin region on my ass. Heaven forbid when I go to tight areas like concerts. The other day at work, someone slapped my ass because he can. I can't do a thing about it. A man can't handle it. Assert yourself, you're angry at best and a bitch at worst, even if you're talking calmly. Fact is, men are gonna try it. On Tinder, let's send a message to this black girl over here and ask her to personally train them sexually. They'll be serious too. They're going to try it because they think they're the shit. That they're the supreme commander. That they are owed my body. Like I'm a piece of meat. The best you can do is be reminded that you're not shit. You're not owed shit, either. A lot of men don't get that. This thread is a great example of that. Turned away on Tinder for "being short" and suddenly your world is crashing down where you blame all of your inadequacies either on external factors out of your control (your height) or on women that are denying you. You don't put extra effort into it, but somehow, Tinder is the one at fault. Your self esteem is so high and so delusional that you think you're owed being with a woman, even though you're short and don't put anything into your body. You need more self esteem, why exactly?

When I say it's good men are getting less self esteem, I'm not saying it's good for men to have no self esteem. Because no woman is going for that. However, I do think it's good for men and women for men to realize that they're just as flawed as the women they critique and analyze and put effort into getting a date. The trick is a healthy amount of self esteem: not too much, not too little. If apps like Tinder allow to happen and more men realize that they're not as desired as they thought they were, which results in them putting more into themselves - their body, their personality, their interests - then yeah, that's a good thing. If it makes more men realize they're not shit for grabbing my ass and that shits not gonna work and they need to actually treat me like a fucking human being and not a piece of meat, it's a good thing.

Finally, the idea that men are objectified more than women is some grade A horse shit. If I posted the dudes I find hot, naked, I know for a fact y'all wouldn't last. There would be complaining "I'm out";etc. Men go in random tangents about how hot women are all the time. Hell, we could just use examples straight from gaf. Helping a sister on gaf with pics of hair styles? Dudes gonna comment on how much they wanna smash em. Talking about something totally different, like, it could be fucking, I don't know...tacos or something, right? Dude is gonna come up with a random tangent on how hot he thinks girl is. Gonna post pics in provocative poses and stuff. You'll have to suffer through every time ShinMaruku posts his crappy ass hentai in the FGC threads. You'll have suffer through it and grit your teeth any time any talk turns into "let's post hot girls we wanna smash" in the BCT thread. On The Coli, any thing can turn into objectification of women. I went into The Get Down thread there because the GAF thread is dead and half of that thread is talking about how much the men want to fuck the lead actress and asking whether or not she's legal. You can find the same behavior on gaf. Straight up dogs. Shit is a plague. But I bet you if I posted random men, men would lose their shit, and they have before. "Why do you post men so much?" "This makes me feel inadequate." "Why are you a size queen?" "You know you'll never get a man like that." "I don't like looking at that, I'm not a faggot." Do a social experiment. Join any goddamn message board and post pics of hot men. Don't assign a gender to your username at all. It doesn't matter. What you'll get are a bunch of soft men who can't handle seeing a half naked (or naked!) man like how much they go through random hot girl pics. They can't handle it. Because as said, they're not shit. Shatter those egos. It's not like it's hard. It's like washing your hands, or making mashed potatoes, or cooking a cup of instant ramen. And that's just online. Offline, I could make an entire thesis on that subject, but the contention that men are objectified more than women is some hilarious teeny bopper MRA shit.

Slay 'em.

 

[GamerSoul]

Edit: damn Cindi.

Don't ever talk about entitlement as if it only comes from one camp

Nice :3 I still feel there's nothing wrong with having a preference. If you want to limit yourself then that's on you.

And maybe I'm not looking hard enough but I haven't seen anyone explicitly say no black guys yet. I'm in S. Florida though so that can easily be why. There's so much variety.

 

[Principate]

Then don't be upset when these actions lead to women saying no to you. It's literally that simple.

 

[Morrigan Stark]

Cindi laying the smackdown

But I bet you if I posted random men, men would lose their shit, and they have before. [...] Do a social experiment. Join any goddamn message board and post pics of hot men. Don't assign a gender to your username at all. It doesn't matter. What you'll get are a bunch of soft men who can't handle seeing a half naked (or naked!) man like how much they go through random hot girl pics. They can't handle it.

Reminds me of my brother whining about shows like Oz where he sees so many naked men, ewwww, "I don't want to see that!". I replied, "You think I want to see all the naked women HBO awkwardly forces in every show? Or hell in every piece of media ever?" and that quickly shut him up, haha.

 

[lightskintwin]

Hey, no question it's "sink or swim" in online dating. As I already said, anybody who loses self-esteem because of this did not have true self-esteem to begin with, but blissful ignorance.

This is probably true. They're not losing confidence, they're entering reality.

Agreed, and it's not just online; it can also be a reality based bubble in your workplace, area, city, or region. Everything is relative. You can legitimately believe you're a 7 or 8 at your job, in a small town, or city, and move to a bigger city or metropolitan area with more variety and diversity, and come to the cold, harsh reality that you're really a 4 or 5. LOL

 

[ishibear]

That was flawless Cindi.

 

[BrutishMrFish]

The main lesson I've learned here is not to include a jokey picture from reddit in my post because people will jump on that without reading the words I wrote and assign the cumulative weight of man's historical wrongdoings to me based on a shared image.

Given that your words were part of what made your post so inaccurate, I'd say you learned the wrong lesson.

 

[ascii42]

As someone that never had a date in their life, going through this thread is... a fascinating combination of horror and comedy.

Yeah. I haven't so much as asked a girl out in over a decade. Haven't had the self esteem, but I guess that's "good" according to some. Mostly I just don't want to bother them. I get it, y'all are just want to be able to go about your day without having to worry about how to turn me down,

 

[brianjones]

Agreed, and it's not just online; it can also be a reality based bubble in your workplace, area, city, or region. Everything is relative. You can legitimately believe you're a 7 or 8 at your job, in a small town, or city, and move to a bigger city or metropolitan area with more variety and diversity, and come to the cold, harsh reality that you're really a 4 or 5. LOL

rating this stuff in numbers seems kinda toxic to me

life ain't like personality stats in persona

 

[lightskintwin]

rating this stuff in numbers seems kinda toxic to me

Changing the ratings to something more appealing to delicate sensibilities wouldn't change the harsh reality of the situation.

 

[FailBurger]

I've been on one date through OKC and it turned out to be a huge waste of time. Quickly erased my account once I find out that it's full of weird people.

Used Tinder for a few and find the process a little silly. I like how it gets to the point but at the end of the day it's, again, a huge waste of time.

Frankly, I don't see the appeal of this lifestyle. Relatives always asking me why I'm always single and not wanting to get married and the only answer I can give is 'It's the same reason why I don't want to become a doctor or travel the world'. I mean it feels like people are just trying to find someone to save them from their boring lifestyle.

 

[Principate]

We've got a thread with roughly 2.5k posts right here that says otherwise.

Attraction and objectification are not the same thing. A bunch of women not finding you attractive when you litterally hit them up for a date is not the same as woman being derided while playing a sport because she's not pretty enough and looks too much like a man so it's not fair.

 

[Morrigan Stark]

We've got a thread with roughly 2.5k posts right here that says otherwise.

? This is a thread about dating apps. People have talked about a lot of things, from attraction to height, race, dick sizes, and everything else. Note, the dick size contest was pretty much all guys talking. Maybe they objectify themselves...?

I'm probably the wrong person to pick that argument with. I do plenty in real life to support women in the workplace. I have a daughter, so I have a vested interest in making the working world better for her when she starts out in a few years. I do what I can to help make that happen.

Regardless, that has nothing to do with the reality that the majority of women objectify men in a similar way to the way men objectify women - just spend some time with a group of women on a night out to see it happen.

Ugh. No. Not what we're talking about here.

We are not talking about objectification during dating, but in general. Sure, when women are on the prowl, I bet many of them objectify men much the same way men objectify women.

Because guess what, there's a time and place for everything, and while I would find it a bit distasteful to completely reduce someone to a piece of meat only, it at least makes more sense and it's expected of people when in a sexual/dating context.

And even then; look at Cindi's post again, and tell me this kind of occurrence, where women message guys on dating apps with crude sexual advances, where a woman grab a man's ass in the grocery store, etc. is common? So even if your argument is limited to dating and socializing, it rings painfully hollow.

And outside of this context of dating/sexual encounter? You still want to argue that in every day life men are just as objectified as women? GTFO

 

[brianjones]

Changing the ratings to something more appealing to delicate sensibilities wouldn't change the harsh reality of the situation.

her face was like a 7 but that body was a 10 bro!!

 

[Always-honest]

LOL.

Catching up.

Let's be honest. Tinder is a date-slash-fuck app. As said, Tinder is all about looks and presentation. Hell yeah I'm going to swipe left on some dude I don't think looks good using Tinder. That's Tinder's entire purpose. Calling me a bully is stretching. Saying I have a "negative attitude" is stretching it even further. That's how Tinder works. Anyone who uses Tinder the way it's made for is going to get some type of ego boost. Tinder is made for getting that hormonal rush. What I do isn't vindictive at all. I do everything everyone else is doing. I certainly don't put my personal feelings into it when I used Tinder. Swipe left or swipe right. That's it. But it does give an ego boost. That cannot be denied. Do you think men don't get ego boosts from Tinder as well? A dude getting a date a day, doesn't have anything to feel good about? That's Tinder in a nutshell. That's what Tinder is designed for.

And that's why I don't like Tinder. Get that? I find it vain and shallow, so I make like a good girl and don't use it. When I was looking for dates, I tried Tinder and OKC. I found OKC better for me because not every man there was a total dog. Tinder is full of creeps and twerps and its main function is getting laid. At the time, I wanted to get laid, but not with a bunch of randoms. I used Tinder for a week and then deleted it. I like to date and see if he's okay, so I like OKCupid more.

Is it good men are getting lower self esteem through Tinder? Yes. Why? Men need to be reminded they're on Earth along for the ride just like everyone else. A lot of men aren't like that. A lot of men think they're some kind of king. When I go to the store, I now purposely turn my ass away from view when shopping because before I did this, I had at least one guy every other trip at least try to "accidentally" brush his hand or groin region on my ass. Heaven forbid when I go to tight areas like concerts. The other day at work, someone slapped my ass because he can. I can't do a thing about it. A man can't handle it. Assert yourself, you're angry at best and a bitch at worst, even if you're talking calmly. Fact is, men are gonna try it. On Tinder, let's send a message to this black girl over here and ask her to personally train them sexually. They'll be serious too. They're going to try it because they think they're the shit. That they're the supreme commander. That they are owed my body. Like I'm a piece of meat. The best you can do is be reminded that you're not shit. You're not owed shit, either. A lot of men don't get that. This thread is a great example of that. Turned away on Tinder for "being short" and suddenly your world is crashing down where you blame all of your inadequacies either on external factors out of your control (your height) or on women that are denying you. You don't put extra effort into it, but somehow, Tinder is the one at fault. Your self esteem is so high and so delusional that you think you're owed being with a woman, even though you're short and don't put anything into your body. You need more self esteem, why exactly?

When I say it's good men are getting less self esteem, I'm not saying it's good for men to have no self esteem. Because no woman is going for that. However, I do think it's good for men and women for men to realize that they're just as flawed as the women they critique and analyze and put effort into getting a date. The trick is a healthy amount of self esteem: not too much, not too little. If apps like Tinder allow to happen and more men realize that they're not as desired as they thought they were, which results in them putting more into themselves - their body, their personality, their interests - then yeah, that's a good thing. If it makes more men realize they're not shit for grabbing my ass and that shits not gonna work and they need to actually treat me like a fucking human being and not a piece of meat, it's a good thing.

Finally, the idea that men are objectified more than women is some grade A horse shit. If I posted the dudes I find hot, naked, I know for a fact y'all wouldn't last. There would be complaining "I'm out";etc. Men go in random tangents about how hot women are all the time. Hell, we could just use examples straight from gaf. Helping a sister on gaf with pics of hair styles? Dudes gonna comment on how much they wanna smash em. Talking about something totally different, like, it could be fucking, I don't know...tacos or something, right? Dude is gonna come up with a random tangent on how hot he thinks girl is. Gonna post pics in provocative poses and stuff. You'll have to suffer through every time ShinMaruku posts his crappy ass hentai in the FGC threads. You'll have suffer through it and grit your teeth any time any talk turns into "let's post hot girls we wanna smash" in the BCT thread. On The Coli, any thing can turn into objectification of women. I went into The Get Down thread there because the GAF thread is dead and half of that thread is talking about how much the men want to fuck the lead actress and asking whether or not she's legal. You can find the same behavior on gaf. Straight up dogs. Shit is a plague. But I bet you if I posted random men, men would lose their shit, and they have before. "Why do you post men so much?" "This makes me feel inadequate." "Why are you a size queen?" "You know you'll never get a man like that." "I don't like looking at that, I'm not a faggot." Do a social experiment. Join any goddamn message board and post pics of hot men. Don't assign a gender to your username at all. It doesn't matter. What you'll get are a bunch of soft men who can't handle seeing a half naked (or naked!) man like how much they go through random hot girl pics. They can't handle it. Because as said, they're not shit. Shatter those egos. It's not like it's hard. It's like washing your hands, or making mashed potatoes, or cooking a cup of instant ramen. And that's just online. Offline, I could make an entire thesis on that subject, but the contention that men are objectified more than women is some hilarious teeny bopper MRA shit.

Good post imo.
Mothers (and fathers) can start with treating their sons like normal people instead of kings.
In a lot of cultures (more than in others) sons are raised to be fucking assholes.
Equality should start there.

 

[Leeness]

The main lesson I've learned here is not to include a jokey picture from reddit in my post because people will jump on that without reading the words I wrote and assign the cumulative weight of man's historical wrongdoings to me based on a shared image.

Given that your words were part of what made your post so inaccurate, I'd say you learned the wrong lesson.

Yep.

Cindi tho. ❤️

 

[hateradio]

Pretty relevant to this thread

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tS5vMU8Ao_Q

I know this is a (not very funny) comedy video, but most of the dudes here looks waaay above average IMO (better than both the women) and they swipe left on most of them.

These are great. Would watch more.

 

[bobbychalkers]

LOL.

Catching up.

Let's be honest. Tinder is a date-slash-fuck app. As said, Tinder is all about looks and presentation. Hell yeah I'm going to swipe left on some dude I don't think looks good using Tinder. That's Tinder's entire purpose. Calling me a bully is stretching. Saying I have a "negative attitude" is stretching it even further. That's how Tinder works. Anyone who uses Tinder the way it's made for is going to get some type of ego boost. Tinder is made for getting that hormonal rush. What I do isn't vindictive at all. I do everything everyone else is doing. I certainly don't put my personal feelings into it when I used Tinder. Swipe left or swipe right. That's it. But it does give an ego boost. That cannot be denied. Do you think men don't get ego boosts from Tinder as well? A dude getting a date a day, doesn't have anything to feel good about? That's Tinder in a nutshell. That's what Tinder is designed for.

And that's why I don't like Tinder. Get that? I find it vain and shallow, so I make like a good girl and don't use it. When I was looking for dates, I tried Tinder and OKC. I found OKC better for me because not every man there was a total dog. Tinder is full of creeps and twerps and its main function is getting laid. At the time, I wanted to get laid, but not with a bunch of randoms. I used Tinder for a week and then deleted it. I like to date and see if he's okay, so I like OKCupid more.

Is it good men are getting lower self esteem through Tinder? Yes. Why? Men need to be reminded they're on Earth along for the ride just like everyone else. A lot of men aren't like that. A lot of men think they're some kind of king. When I go to the store, I now purposely turn my ass away from view when shopping because before I did this, I had at least one guy every other trip at least try to "accidentally" brush his hand or groin region on my ass. Heaven forbid when I go to tight areas like concerts. The other day at work, someone slapped my ass because he can. I can't do a thing about it. A man can't handle it. Assert yourself, you're angry at best and a bitch at worst, even if you're talking calmly. Fact is, men are gonna try it. On Tinder, let's send a message to this black girl over here and ask her to personally train them sexually. They'll be serious too. They're going to try it because they think they're the shit. That they're the supreme commander. That they are owed my body. Like I'm a piece of meat. The best you can do is be reminded that you're not shit. You're not owed shit, either. A lot of men don't get that. This thread is a great example of that. Turned away on Tinder for "being short" and suddenly your world is crashing down where you blame all of your inadequacies either on external factors out of your control (your height) or on women that are denying you. You don't put extra effort into it, but somehow, Tinder is the one at fault. Your self esteem is so high and so delusional that you think you're owed being with a woman, even though you're short and don't put anything into your body. You need more self esteem, why exactly?

When I say it's good men are getting less self esteem, I'm not saying it's good for men to have no self esteem. Because no woman is going for that. However, I do think it's good for men and women for men to realize that they're just as flawed as the women they critique and analyze and put effort into getting a date. The trick is a healthy amount of self esteem: not too much, not too little. If apps like Tinder allow to happen and more men realize that they're not as desired as they thought they were, which results in them putting more into themselves - their body, their personality, their interests - then yeah, that's a good thing. If it makes more men realize they're not shit for grabbing my ass and that shits not gonna work and they need to actually treat me like a fucking human being and not a piece of meat, it's a good thing.

Finally, the idea that men are objectified more than women is some grade A horse shit. If I posted the dudes I find hot, naked, I know for a fact y'all wouldn't last. There would be complaining "I'm out";etc. Men go in random tangents about how hot women are all the time. Hell, we could just use examples straight from gaf. Helping a sister on gaf with pics of hair styles? Dudes gonna comment on how much they wanna smash em. Talking about something totally different, like, it could be fucking, I don't know...tacos or something, right? Dude is gonna come up with a random tangent on how hot he thinks girl is. Gonna post pics in provocative poses and stuff. You'll have to suffer through every time ShinMaruku posts his crappy ass hentai in the FGC threads. You'll have suffer through it and grit your teeth any time any talk turns into "let's post hot girls we wanna smash" in the BCT thread. On The Coli, any thing can turn into objectification of women. I went into The Get Down thread there because the GAF thread is dead and half of that thread is talking about how much the men want to fuck the lead actress and asking whether or not she's legal. You can find the same behavior on gaf. Straight up dogs. Shit is a plague. But I bet you if I posted random men, men would lose their shit, and they have before. "Why do you post men so much?" "This makes me feel inadequate." "Why are you a size queen?" "You know you'll never get a man like that." "I don't like looking at that, I'm not a faggot." Do a social experiment. Join any goddamn message board and post pics of hot men. Don't assign a gender to your username at all. It doesn't matter. What you'll get are a bunch of soft men who can't handle seeing a half naked (or naked!) man like how much they go through random hot girl pics. They can't handle it. Because as said, they're not shit. Shatter those egos. It's not like it's hard. It's like washing your hands, or making mashed potatoes, or cooking a cup of instant ramen. And that's just online. Offline, I could make an entire thesis on that subject, but the contention that men are objectified more than women is some hilarious teeny bopper MRA shit.

I heard dancehall airhorns in my head after I read this. All truth

 

[LookAtMeGo]

I have this pic on my tinder profile.

 

[lightskintwin]

her face was like a 7 but that body was a 10 bro!!

LOL I'm talking overall packages, but I get what you're saying but you gotta average it out. That means she's an 8 to 8.5. LOL

 

[Koodo]

The notion that men have it SO easy in life compared to women such that "You have it 1000% easier than the person saying 'no tall guys'" is ludicrous. As a group, they have it better in some respects, certainly, but there are plenty of men that are way worse off, in both tangible and intangible respects, than plenty of women, even with privilege. Watching privilege turn into an all-purpose cudgel to shut the complaints of anybody with even a whiff of it down has been a fascinating social development. Well, fascinating and sad.

"They have it better in some respects" is a blatantly false argument and comically cynical from a systemic point of view. Those males in precarious circumstances who have it "worse off" have female counterparts who have it even worse off because in addition to life's lemons they also have to deal with a system that disadvantages them just because they're women.

It's grossly embarrassing to be brushing off the obscene privilege men have, especially straight white men. Acknowledge the privilege rather than deflecting away from it with circular arguments that someone, somewhere is leading a harsher life – with the added irony that women have historically done more to help the struggles of those disadvantaged males more than men themselves have ever done.

 

[Not]

Offline, I could make an entire thesis on that subject, but the contention that men are objectified more than women is some hilarious teeny bopper MRA shit.

It's the battle cry of a man who forms his view of reality from everything but reality. Great post BTW.

How can guys tune out all the woman-objectifying nonsense that they're bombarded with everyday and pinpoint the few times out of a hundred it happens to men as an equal double standard? They need to get their head out of the mud. Objectification is not equal, and I mean, my God, how can they even think that? What kind of distorted mirror universe View-Master are they looking through?

 

[JadedWriter]

LOL.

Catching up.

Let's be honest. Tinder is a date-slash-fuck app. As said, Tinder is all about looks and presentation. Hell yeah I'm going to swipe left on some dude I don't think looks good using Tinder. That's Tinder's entire purpose. Calling me a bully is stretching. Saying I have a "negative attitude" is stretching it even further. That's how Tinder works. Anyone who uses Tinder the way it's made for is going to get some type of ego boost. Tinder is made for getting that hormonal rush. What I do isn't vindictive at all. I do everything everyone else is doing. I certainly don't put my personal feelings into it when I used Tinder. Swipe left or swipe right. That's it. But it does give an ego boost. That cannot be denied. Do you think men don't get ego boosts from Tinder as well? A dude getting a date a day, doesn't have anything to feel good about? That's Tinder in a nutshell. That's what Tinder is designed for.

And that's why I don't like Tinder. Get that? I find it vain and shallow, so I make like a good girl and don't use it. When I was looking for dates, I tried Tinder and OKC. I found OKC better for me because not every man there was a total dog. Tinder is full of creeps and twerps and its main function is getting laid. At the time, I wanted to get laid, but not with a bunch of randoms. I used Tinder for a week and then deleted it. I like to date and see if he's okay, so I like OKCupid more.

Is it good men are getting lower self esteem through Tinder? Yes. Why? Men need to be reminded they're on Earth along for the ride just like everyone else. A lot of men aren't like that. A lot of men think they're some kind of king. When I go to the store, I now purposely turn my ass away from view when shopping because before I did this, I had at least one guy every other trip at least try to "accidentally" brush his hand or groin region on my ass. Heaven forbid when I go to tight areas like concerts. The other day at work, someone slapped my ass because he can. I can't do a thing about it. A man can't handle it. Assert yourself, you're angry at best and a bitch at worst, even if you're talking calmly. Fact is, men are gonna try it. On Tinder, let's send a message to this black girl over here and ask her to personally train them sexually. They'll be serious too. They're going to try it because they think they're the shit. That they're the supreme commander. That they are owed my body. Like I'm a piece of meat. The best you can do is be reminded that you're not shit. You're not owed shit, either. A lot of men don't get that. This thread is a great example of that. Turned away on Tinder for "being short" and suddenly your world is crashing down where you blame all of your inadequacies either on external factors out of your control (your height) or on women that are denying you. You don't put extra effort into it, but somehow, Tinder is the one at fault. Your self esteem is so high and so delusional that you think you're owed being with a woman, even though you're short and don't put anything into your body. You need more self esteem, why exactly?

When I say it's good men are getting less self esteem, I'm not saying it's good for men to have no self esteem. Because no woman is going for that. However, I do think it's good for men and women for men to realize that they're just as flawed as the women they critique and analyze and put effort into getting a date. The trick is a healthy amount of self esteem: not too much, not too little. If apps like Tinder allow to happen and more men realize that they're not as desired as they thought they were, which results in them putting more into themselves - their body, their personality, their interests - then yeah, that's a good thing. If it makes more men realize they're not shit for grabbing my ass and that shits not gonna work and they need to actually treat me like a fucking human being and not a piece of meat, it's a good thing.

Finally, the idea that men are objectified more than women is some grade A horse shit. If I posted the dudes I find hot, naked, I know for a fact y'all wouldn't last. There would be complaining "I'm out";etc. Men go in random tangents about how hot women are all the time. Hell, we could just use examples straight from gaf. Helping a sister on gaf with pics of hair styles? Dudes gonna comment on how much they wanna smash em. Talking about something totally different, like, it could be fucking, I don't know...tacos or something, right? Dude is gonna come up with a random tangent on how hot he thinks girl is. Gonna post pics in provocative poses and stuff. You'll have to suffer through every time ShinMaruku posts his crappy ass hentai in the FGC threads. You'll have suffer through it and grit your teeth any time any talk turns into "let's post hot girls we wanna smash" in the BCT thread. On The Coli, any thing can turn into objectification of women. I went into The Get Down thread there because the GAF thread is dead and half of that thread is talking about how much the men want to fuck the lead actress and asking whether or not she's legal. You can find the same behavior on gaf. Straight up dogs. Shit is a plague. But I bet you if I posted random men, men would lose their shit, and they have before. "Why do you post men so much?" "This makes me feel inadequate." "Why are you a size queen?" "You know you'll never get a man like that." "I don't like looking at that, I'm not a faggot." Do a social experiment. Join any goddamn message board and post pics of hot men. Don't assign a gender to your username at all. It doesn't matter. What you'll get are a bunch of soft men who can't handle seeing a half naked (or naked!) man like how much they go through random hot girl pics. They can't handle it. Because as said, they're not shit. Shatter those egos. It's not like it's hard. It's like washing your hands, or making mashed potatoes, or cooking a cup of instant ramen. And that's just online. Offline, I could make an entire thesis on that subject, but the contention that men are objectified more than women is some hilarious teeny bopper MRA shit.

I know I'm probably stepping on a landmine with this here, but some of your post can be read as "I've dealt with some assholes and these men should pay." But it also kind of comes off that even the non asshole men should pay for what these asshole men have done just for the simple fact that they are men. Now regarding the man that slapped your ass randomly that dude is an asshole. Period and probably should've been kicked in the nuts for that shit and anybody willing to do that in public with some woman he doesn't know is some lecherous asshole with no form of fucking impulse control that thinks women are his property. I know these guys exist and personally I hate being lumped in with people like this just simply because I happened to be born a man.

 

[KingV]

A friend of a friend showed me his tinder once and it was the same, he matched with 9/10 people he swiped on. Had something like 900+ matches lol

This partially depends on how much you use the app. If people "like" you, it moves them to the front of the line.

So if you don't actually use it frequently you will see the first however many photos will probably match with you if you like them.

 

[Morrigan Stark]

Yeah. I haven't so much as asked a girl out in over a decade. Haven't had the self esteem, but I guess that's "good" according to some.

Read Cindi's last post again, she clarified what she meant. The "good" wasn't about piling on guys with no self-esteem to begin with, but rather, about dudes who think they're hot shit getting a reality check.

Mostly I just don't want to bother them. I get it, y'all are just want to be able to go about your day without having to worry about how to turn me down,

...Well, okay then.

 

[Pusherman]

LOL.

Catching up.

Let's be honest. Tinder is a date-slash-fuck app. As said, Tinder is all about looks and presentation. Hell yeah I'm going to swipe left on some dude I don't think looks good using Tinder. That's Tinder's entire purpose. Calling me a bully is stretching. Saying I have a "negative attitude" is stretching it even further. That's how Tinder works. Anyone who uses Tinder the way it's made for is going to get some type of ego boost. Tinder is made for getting that hormonal rush. What I do isn't vindictive at all. I do everything everyone else is doing. I certainly don't put my personal feelings into it when I used Tinder. Swipe left or swipe right. That's it. But it does give an ego boost. That cannot be denied. Do you think men don't get ego boosts from Tinder as well? A dude getting a date a day, doesn't have anything to feel good about? That's Tinder in a nutshell. That's what Tinder is designed for.

And that's why I don't like Tinder. Get that? I find it vain and shallow, so I make like a good girl and don't use it. When I was looking for dates, I tried Tinder and OKC. I found OKC better for me because not every man there was a total dog. Tinder is full of creeps and twerps and its main function is getting laid. At the time, I wanted to get laid, but not with a bunch of randoms. I used Tinder for a week and then deleted it. I like to date and see if he's okay, so I like OKCupid more.

Is it good men are getting lower self esteem through Tinder? Yes. Why? Men need to be reminded they're on Earth along for the ride just like everyone else. A lot of men aren't like that. A lot of men think they're some kind of king. When I go to the store, I now purposely turn my ass away from view when shopping because before I did this, I had at least one guy every other trip at least try to "accidentally" brush his hand or groin region on my ass. Heaven forbid when I go to tight areas like concerts. The other day at work, someone slapped my ass because he can. I can't do a thing about it. A man can't handle it. Assert yourself, you're angry at best and a bitch at worst, even if you're talking calmly. Fact is, men are gonna try it. On Tinder, let's send a message to this black girl over here and ask her to personally train them sexually. They'll be serious too. They're going to try it because they think they're the shit. That they're the supreme commander. That they are owed my body. Like I'm a piece of meat. The best you can do is be reminded that you're not shit. You're not owed shit, either. A lot of men don't get that. This thread is a great example of that. Turned away on Tinder for "being short" and suddenly your world is crashing down where you blame all of your inadequacies either on external factors out of your control (your height) or on women that are denying you. You don't put extra effort into it, but somehow, Tinder is the one at fault. Your self esteem is so high and so delusional that you think you're owed being with a woman, even though you're short and don't put anything into your body. You need more self esteem, why exactly?

When I say it's good men are getting less self esteem, I'm not saying it's good for men to have no self esteem. Because no woman is going for that. However, I do think it's good for men and women for men to realize that they're just as flawed as the women they critique and analyze and put effort into getting a date. The trick is a healthy amount of self esteem: not too much, not too little. If apps like Tinder allow to happen and more men realize that they're not as desired as they thought they were, which results in them putting more into themselves - their body, their personality, their interests - then yeah, that's a good thing. If it makes more men realize they're not shit for grabbing my ass and that shits not gonna work and they need to actually treat me like a fucking human being and not a piece of meat, it's a good thing.

Finally, the idea that men are objectified more than women is some grade A horse shit. If I posted the dudes I find hot, naked, I know for a fact y'all wouldn't last. There would be complaining "I'm out";etc. Men go in random tangents about how hot women are all the time. Hell, we could just use examples straight from gaf. Helping a sister on gaf with pics of hair styles? Dudes gonna comment on how much they wanna smash em. Talking about something totally different, like, it could be fucking, I don't know...tacos or something, right? Dude is gonna come up with a random tangent on how hot he thinks girl is. Gonna post pics in provocative poses and stuff. You'll have to suffer through every time ShinMaruku posts his crappy ass hentai in the FGC threads. You'll have suffer through it and grit your teeth any time any talk turns into "let's post hot girls we wanna smash" in the BCT thread. On The Coli, any thing can turn into objectification of women. I went into The Get Down thread there because the GAF thread is dead and half of that thread is talking about how much the men want to fuck the lead actress and asking whether or not she's legal. You can find the same behavior on gaf. Straight up dogs. Shit is a plague. But I bet you if I posted random men, men would lose their shit, and they have before. "Why do you post men so much?" "This makes me feel inadequate." "Why are you a size queen?" "You know you'll never get a man like that." "I don't like looking at that, I'm not a faggot." Do a social experiment. Join any goddamn message board and post pics of hot men. Don't assign a gender to your username at all. It doesn't matter. What you'll get are a bunch of soft men who can't handle seeing a half naked (or naked!) man like how much they go through random hot girl pics. They can't handle it. Because as said, they're not shit. Shatter those egos. It's not like it's hard. It's like washing your hands, or making mashed potatoes, or cooking a cup of instant ramen. And that's just online. Offline, I could make an entire thesis on that subject, but the contention that men are objectified more than women is some hilarious teeny bopper MRA shit.

Aight, this is an awesome post and I agree with most of it but don't you think the guys who think they're some kind of king in real life are also doing pretty damn well on tinder? From what I can see, the guys who fail on tinder and complain on forums like this are the dudes who already have low self-esteem and who went in thinking the reach of online dating would perhaps make things easier for 'em. Of course, what they found was that online dating just amplified their problems tenfold, which is why they're complaining. And, contrary to what some think, a lot of these dudes do put in effort but it just might not be enough. So I do agree that online dating creates a safer and more equal environment for women to reject men but it isn't really corrective of men's self esteem. Dudes with high self-esteem continue to do well and guys with low self-esteem just get what remains further destroyed. So all the comments making light of men's failures or even celebrating it just seem kind of... mean. Their problems aren't anything compared to what most women face but they're still problems. Problems shouldn't have to compete with other problems.

 

[heliosRAzi]

LOL.

Catching up.

Let's be honest. Tinder is a date-slash-fuck app. As said, Tinder is all about looks and presentation. Hell yeah I'm going to swipe left on some dude I don't think looks good using Tinder. That's Tinder's entire purpose. Calling me a bully is stretching. Saying I have a "negative attitude" is stretching it even further. That's how Tinder works. Anyone who uses Tinder the way it's made for is going to get some type of ego boost. Tinder is made for getting that hormonal rush. What I do isn't vindictive at all. I do everything everyone else is doing. I certainly don't put my personal feelings into it when I used Tinder. Swipe left or swipe right. That's it. But it does give an ego boost. That cannot be denied. Do you think men don't get ego boosts from Tinder as well? A dude getting a date a day, doesn't have anything to feel good about? That's Tinder in a nutshell. That's what Tinder is designed for.

I thought Tinder was designed as a way to meet up and fuck. I don't think it was made to make someone feel good when they swipe left.

No one cares if you swipe left or not, but when you say you feel good about doing it, it just feels wrong. It's great that you get your power back, though. I'm sorry about your experiences. I'm sorry that you have to feel scared to say no to some guys. I wish it could be better for women out there. I hope that it will be better.

The main lesson I've learned here is not to include a jokey picture from reddit in my post because people will jump on that without reading the words I wrote and assign the cumulative weight of man's historical wrongdoings to me based on a shared image.

I'm not assigning anything to you. I'm just letting you know that one type objectification is more acidic than the other.

 

[Always-honest]

I know I'm probably stepping on a landmine with this here, but some of your post can be read as "I've dealt with some assholes and these men should pay." But it also kind of comes off that even the non asshole men should pay for what these asshole men have done just for the simple fact that they are men. Now regarding the man that slapped your ass randomly that dude is an asshole. Period and probably should've been kicked in the nuts for that shit and anybody willing to do that in public with some woman he doesn't know is some lecherous asshole with no form of fucking impulse control that thinks women are his property. I know these guys exist and personally I hate being lumped in with people like this just simply because I happened to be born a man.

I guess most women are aware that not all men are the same. It would be nuts to "punish" decent chaps for the behaviour of others.

 

[Not]

I know I'm probably stepping on a landmine with this here, but some of your post can be read as "I've dealt with some assholes and these men should pay." But it also kind of comes off that even the non asshole men should pay for what these asshole men have done just for the simple fact that they are men. Now regarding the man that slapped your ass randomly that dude is an asshole. Period and probably should've been kicked in the nuts for that shit and anybody willing to do that in public with some woman he doesn't know is some lecherous asshole with no form of fucking impulse control that thinks women are his property. I know these guys exist and personally I hate being lumped in with people like this just simply because I happened to be born a man.

No it doesn't. You just lack empathy for women.

 

[ishibear]

I know I'm probably stepping on a landmine with this here, but some of your post can be read as "I've dealt with some assholes and these men should pay." But it also kind of comes off that even the non asshole men should pay for what these asshole men have done just for the simple fact that they are men. Now regarding the man that slapped your ass randomly that dude is an asshole. Period and probably should've been kicked in the nuts for that shit and anybody willing to do that in public with some woman he doesn't know is some lecherous asshole with no form of fucking impulse control that thinks women are his property. I know these guys exist and personally I hate being lumped in with people like this just simply because I happened to be born a man.

Sir, you have got to stop taking this to heart. If you're not behaving like the guys Cindi critiques, why are you taking this personally? That you choose to identify yourself with these assholes solely because you share gender is your own fault.

 

[Koodo]

I know I'm probably stepping on a landmine with this here, but some of your post can be read as "I've dealt with some assholes and these men should pay." But it also kind of comes off that even the non asshole men should pay for what these asshole men have done just for the simple fact that they are men. Now regarding the man that slapped your ass randomly that dude is an asshole. Period and probably should've been kicked in the nuts for that shit and anybody willing to do that in public with some woman he doesn't know is some lecherous asshole with no form of fucking impulse control that thinks women are his property. I know these guys exist and personally I hate being lumped in with people like this just simply because I happened to be born a man.

It's not so much that you need to pay for what other men have done but that you need to:

1. Acknowledge your privilege
2. Acknowledge that it has helped you at the expense of women regardless of whether you chose for that happen or not
3. Acknowledge that because you've been advantaged at the expense of women, you have the responsibility to correct this wrongdoing. It's up to you on how to do that – speaking out on the injustice and correcting other men when they're spouting vile shit is a quick and easy way to help. Pretending men are not in a position of privilege or other MRA wankery is a good example of how to make things worse.

 

[KingV]

Aight, this is an awesome post and I agree with most of it but don't you think the guys who think they're some kind of king in real life are also doing pretty damn well on tinder? From what I can see, the guys who fail on tinder and complain on forums like this are the dudes who already have low self-esteem and who went in thinking the reach of online dating would perhaps make things easier for 'em. Of course, what they found was that online dating just amplified their problems tenfold, which is why they're complaining. And, contrary to what some think, a lot of these dudes do put in effort but it just might not be enough. So I do agree that online dating creates a safer and more equal environment for women to reject men but it isn't really corrective of men's self esteem. Dudes with high self-esteem continue to do well and guys with low self-esteem just get what remains further destroyed. So all the comments making light of men's failures or even celebrating it just seem kind of... mean. Their problems aren't anything compared to what most women face but they're still problems. Problems shouldn't have to compete with other problems.

Damn this is a good post.

 

[Not]

That you choose to identify yourself with these assholes solely because you share gender is your own fault.

Church.

Problems shouldn't have to compete with other problems.

And yet, whenever a women lists her grievances on the Internet, ten guys jump in with "but what about me?"

 

[Markoman]

LOL.

Is it good men are getting lower self esteem through Tinder? Yes. Why? Men need to be reminded they're on Earth along for the ride just like everyone else.

Cindi, I very much agree with everything in your post, but here's the thing I don't agree on:
You and I see Tinder as what it is, a fast-fuck-app. I know some itt have found true and everlasting love through Tinder ;P But you to a minor and especially Subpar to an exaggerated degree make it sound like this whole "shorter guys being rejected on Tinder" topic will work for women like some kind of late retribution. I don't remotely see this. At best some heavy selection will take place on Tinder where all the tall guys swim in a huge pool of women. How is giving a blow to a short guy helping you as woman with tall guys acting like assholes? What I'm trying to say, if women really want to become the better human beings, they really shouldn't do it the man's way.

 

[shadowsdarknes]

To broadly state that men need their self esteem lowered is unfair and un-useful. Plenty of people, including men need to work on their self esteem.

For every sick perv that feels the need to do something gross and disgusting, there's just as many if not more guys that simply don't do well at dating or speed dating apps like tinder. Men are still held to a high standard for dating. Height, shape, hair, face, job, and education are still need to be on point.

My ex and I were roughly the same level of attractive. In fact, I may have been the better looking and more physically fit person in the relationship. But if she were to use Tinder, she could have more dates than she could handle. Yes she'd deal with pervy shit, but she also get could the self esteem boost of being able to court nearly any man she wants.

 

[ishibear]

Aight, this is an awesome post and I agree with most of it but don't you think the guys who think they're some kind of king in real life are also doing pretty damn well on tinder? From what I can see, the guys who fail on tinder and complain on forums like this are the dudes who already have low self-esteem and who went in thinking the reach of online dating would perhaps make things easier for 'em. Of course, what they found was that online dating just amplified their problems tenfold, which is why they're complaining. And, contrary to what some think, a lot of these dudes do put in effort but it just might not be enough. So I do agree that online dating creates a safer and more equal environment for women to reject men but it isn't really corrective of men's self esteem. Dudes with high self-esteem continue to do well and guys with low self-esteem just get what remains further destroyed. So all the comments making light of men's failures or even celebrating it just seem kind of... mean. Their problems aren't anything compared to what most women face but they're still problems. Problems shouldn't have to compete with other problems.

I feel like you're looking for a solution to this dilemma from Cindi and the hard truth is, she has already given some good advice but you're still hounding her for answers. Sometimes YOU have to find the answers for yourself. Sometimes the best solution to a problem is the one you make for yourself.

 

[EdibleKnife]

I know I'm probably stepping on a landmine with this here, but some of your post can be read as "I've dealt with some assholes and these men should pay." But it also kind of comes off that even the non asshole men should pay for what these asshole men have done just for the simple fact that they are men. Now regarding the man that slapped your ass randomly that dude is an asshole. Period and probably should've been kicked in the nuts for that shit and anybody willing to do that in public with some woman he doesn't know is some lecherous asshole with no form of fucking impulse control that thinks women are his property. I know these guys exist and personally I hate being lumped in with people like this just simply because I happened to be born a man.

If you're not part of the problem you have nothing to worry about. Cindi doesn't have the ability to only pick "the nice ones" out of the pool of all men. No woman does. All men can do is act differently and adjust their expectations instead of expecting "better treatment" from women just because they say they're better than those others. Act better and let come what may.

 

[JadedWriter]

No it doesn't. You just lack empathy for women.

I don't lack empathy for women and I do realize they have it rough in the dating scene, sometimes I just feel like they treat me like a bag of garbage regardless of what I do or say because I'm a guy and they've had shitty dating experiences that I'm not the root cause of. I went through a ton of that with my last GF.

Sir, you have got to stop taking this to heart. If you're not behaving like the guys Cindi critiques, why are you taking this personally? That you choose to identify yourself with these assholes solely because you share gender is your own fault.

I wasn't trying to take it personally, I was just examining her post from a different perspective.

 

[Prophet Steve]

I know I'm probably stepping on a landmine with this here, but some of your post can be read as "I've dealt with some assholes and these men should pay." But it also kind of comes off that even the non asshole men should pay for what these asshole men have done just for the simple fact that they are men. Now regarding the man that slapped your ass randomly that dude is an asshole. Period and probably should've been kicked in the nuts for that shit and anybody willing to do that in public with some woman he doesn't know is some lecherous asshole with no form of fucking impulse control that thinks women are his property. I know these guys exist and personally I hate being lumped in with people like this just simply because I happened to be born a man.

I kind of agree with you. Although I agree with most of Cindi's post, I don't think it is a good thing at all that men would be getting less self-esteem from Tinder. Plenty of men that aren't sexist, don't feel entitled or are putting effort in themselves that are still rejected for arbitrary reasons. Yes yes yes, #notallmen and stuff like that.

I also have my doubts that it's the ones with a too high self-esteem that are the ones who get the self-realization of them not being as good as they are. Instead of that I see them to start acting more hostile against women and you get stuff like the MRA practices.

I feel like it may be more damaging for not complete shitheads than it is beneficial for complete shitheads.

 

[John Kowalski]

Christ, this is the biggest non OT in a while right?

 

[Always-honest]

I don't lack empathy for women and I do realize they have it rough in the dating scene, sometimes I just feel like they treat me like a bag of garbage regardless of what I do or say because I'm a guy and they've had shitty dating experiences that I'm not the root cause of. I went through a ton of that with my last GF.

Well yeah, there are asshole women too.

 

[Host Samurai]

Tinder sucks now in NYC. We've moved on to Bumble. I barley use tinder now. Too many bots and too much left swiping that my thumb is cramped.

 

[LionPride]

I know I'm probably stepping on a landmine with this here, but some of your post can be read as "I've dealt with some assholes and these men should pay." But it also kind of comes off that even the non asshole men should pay for what these asshole men have done just for the simple fact that they are men. Now regarding the man that slapped your ass randomly that dude is an asshole. Period and probably should've been kicked in the nuts for that shit and anybody willing to do that in public with some woman he doesn't know is some lecherous asshole with no form of fucking impulse control that thinks women are his property. I know these guys exist and personally I hate being lumped in with people like this just simply because I happened to be born a man.

Why are you taking this personally

 

[Plywood]

I notice this happens with Black vs White on twitter. Every time a white person loses something to a black person, say Zendaya playing Mary Jane in the Spider-Man movie or Serena Williams beating Maria Sharpovova for the hundredth time, black twitter is aflood with "WHITE TEARS LOL MMM TASTE SO GOOD".

Its very much become a white vs black, man vs woman thing, and any time the more privileged group "loses", then the other team gets a big kick out their loss, and take a lot of enjoyment in them being brought down.

.

 

[excelsiorlef]

LOL.

Catching up.

Let's be honest. Tinder is a date-slash-fuck app. As said, Tinder is all about looks and presentation. Hell yeah I'm going to swipe left on some dude I don't think looks good using Tinder. That's Tinder's entire purpose. Calling me a bully is stretching. Saying I have a "negative attitude" is stretching it even further. That's how Tinder works. Anyone who uses Tinder the way it's made for is going to get some type of ego boost. Tinder is made for getting that hormonal rush. What I do isn't vindictive at all. I do everything everyone else is doing. I certainly don't put my personal feelings into it when I used Tinder. Swipe left or swipe right. That's it. But it does give an ego boost. That cannot be denied. Do you think men don't get ego boosts from Tinder as well? A dude getting a date a day, doesn't have anything to feel good about? That's Tinder in a nutshell. That's what Tinder is designed for.

And that's why I don't like Tinder. Get that? I find it vain and shallow, so I make like a good girl and don't use it. When I was looking for dates, I tried Tinder and OKC. I found OKC better for me because not every man there was a total dog. Tinder is full of creeps and twerps and its main function is getting laid. At the time, I wanted to get laid, but not with a bunch of randoms. I used Tinder for a week and then deleted it. I like to date and see if he's okay, so I like OKCupid more.

Is it good men are getting lower self esteem through Tinder? Yes. Why? Men need to be reminded they're on Earth along for the ride just like everyone else. A lot of men aren't like that. A lot of men think they're some kind of king. When I go to the store, I now purposely turn my ass away from view when shopping because before I did this, I had at least one guy every other trip at least try to "accidentally" brush his hand or groin region on my ass. Heaven forbid when I go to tight areas like concerts. The other day at work, someone slapped my ass because he can. I can't do a thing about it. A man can't handle it. Assert yourself, you're angry at best and a bitch at worst, even if you're talking calmly. Fact is, men are gonna try it. On Tinder, let's send a message to this black girl over here and ask her to personally train them sexually. They'll be serious too. They're going to try it because they think they're the shit. That they're the supreme commander. That they are owed my body. Like I'm a piece of meat. The best you can do is be reminded that you're not shit. You're not owed shit, either. A lot of men don't get that. This thread is a great example of that. Turned away on Tinder for "being short" and suddenly your world is crashing down where you blame all of your inadequacies either on external factors out of your control (your height) or on women that are denying you. You don't put extra effort into it, but somehow, Tinder is the one at fault. Your self esteem is so high and so delusional that you think you're owed being with a woman, even though you're short and don't put anything into your body. You need more self esteem, why exactly?

When I say it's good men are getting less self esteem, I'm not saying it's good for men to have no self esteem. Because no woman is going for that. However, I do think it's good for men and women for men to realize that they're just as flawed as the women they critique and analyze and put effort into getting a date. The trick is a healthy amount of self esteem: not too much, not too little. If apps like Tinder allow to happen and more men realize that they're not as desired as they thought they were, which results in them putting more into themselves - their body, their personality, their interests - then yeah, that's a good thing. If it makes more men realize they're not shit for grabbing my ass and that shits not gonna work and they need to actually treat me like a fucking human being and not a piece of meat, it's a good thing.

Finally, the idea that men are objectified more than women is some grade A horse shit. If I posted the dudes I find hot, naked, I know for a fact y'all wouldn't last. There would be complaining "I'm out";etc. Men go in random tangents about how hot women are all the time. Hell, we could just use examples straight from gaf. Helping a sister on gaf with pics of hair styles? Dudes gonna comment on how much they wanna smash em. Talking about something totally different, like, it could be fucking, I don't know...tacos or something, right? Dude is gonna come up with a random tangent on how hot he thinks girl is. Gonna post pics in provocative poses and stuff. You'll have to suffer through every time ShinMaruku posts his crappy ass hentai in the FGC threads. You'll have suffer through it and grit your teeth any time any talk turns into "let's post hot girls we wanna smash" in the BCT thread. On The Coli, any thing can turn into objectification of women. I went into The Get Down thread there because the GAF thread is dead and half of that thread is talking about how much the men want to fuck the lead actress and asking whether or not she's legal. You can find the same behavior on gaf. Straight up dogs. Shit is a plague. But I bet you if I posted random men, men would lose their shit, and they have before. "Why do you post men so much?" "This makes me feel inadequate." "Why are you a size queen?" "You know you'll never get a man like that." "I don't like looking at that, I'm not a faggot." Do a social experiment. Join any goddamn message board and post pics of hot men. Don't assign a gender to your username at all. It doesn't matter. What you'll get are a bunch of soft men who can't handle seeing a half naked (or naked!) man like how much they go through random hot girl pics. They can't handle it. Because as said, they're not shit. Shatter those egos. It's not like it's hard. It's like washing your hands, or making mashed potatoes, or cooking a cup of instant ramen. And that's just online. Offline, I could make an entire thesis on that subject, but the contention that men are objectified more than women is some hilarious teeny bopper MRA shit.

And let's just close up shop with this one.

Perfect.

 

[ascii42]

Read Cindi's last post again, she clarified what she meant. The "good" wasn't about piling on guys with no self-esteem to begin with, but rather, about dudes who think they're hot shit getting a reality check.


...Well, okay then.

I maaay have overdone the self-loathing there

That was more my issue back in college. Now I don't really meet single people. I have Tinder, but mostly use it occasionally for amusement, since I've only matched with bots. Wouldn't be my thing anyway. I'm 30. I'd be looking for long term relationships at this point, but I haven't put nearly enough effort into online dating to make any sort of judgement on it.

And although I've taken issue with some of Cindy's posts, or at least the way she's expressed things, yeah, that last one was a good one.