Combichristoffersen
Combovers don't work when there is no hair
For the few girls that seem like I would have something in common with them, yes. But Tinder is mostly normal women, and normal women rarely interest me.
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Tinder is destroying mens self-esteem (New York Post)
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For the few girls that seem like I would have something in common with them, yes. But Tinder is mostly normal women, and normal women rarely interest me.
lightskintwin
Banned
No, that's not where I'm going, but everybody plays a part. It's not a man or women thing, because it can go both ways. If you knowingly continue to accept favors, errands, gifts, vacations,etc... from somebody you know likes you more than just a friend and he or she's doing it because of it; and you don't, have no intention of ever being more than just friends then yes, you may not get all the blame, but you're playing a part in it.
excelsiorlef
Member
Not their responsibility.
In the context here especially the person was upfront
And lol at it's not a man/woman thing. Come on. Let's not pretend nice girl is a meaningful equivalent occurance.
Cindi Mayweather
Member
Don't talk to women at the gym unless it's to be friendly. A lot of women are there to blow off steam and don't need it there but maybe go for the number if you see some chemistry. Be a gentleman and don't get in the way of her workouts unless you wanna be a spotter or something.
Not trying to be mean, but anyone else feel like this can't possibly be a real person?
War Peaceman
You're a big guy.
Only anime women excite you nowadays, I assume?
lightskintwin
Banned
Upfront means nothing. Smart people know they need to cut the relationship because now it's completely one way and unhealthy.
It's not nice girl, the closest equivalent that's somewhat similar but different is good girl. Why do you think we have the phrase "good girl turned bad"?
He wants a waiffu in his laiffu.
Cindi Mayweather
Member
Where did I say if you're a man you're a creepy rapist? You are inserting yourself into my words and thinking I said things I didn't. It's a trust thing.
JadedWriter
Member
No I am not the work of an enemy stand. JadedWriter just wants to live quietly with a nice woman that's into anime.
Principate
Saint Titanfall
Who knows maybe he is a freak.
JadedWriter
Member
Too bad he can't build his own waifu like Krieger from Archer.
Principate
Saint Titanfall
I'm talking about the thought process of negative assumption until proven otherwise, it doesn't actually matter what I used within the arguement since I'm not you and have no idea what your assumed negative assumption is, I'm just discussing the flaws of assuming someone is fundamentally bad and working up based on your perception.
Yeah. I just wish I had been better about that when I actually met people. I've certainly worried that I missed my chances, but that's not a good attitude. Feels like everyone I know in my area is already married. I don't live in a particularly big area so it doesn't feel like there's much of "out there" to put myself.
I should give a legitimate stab at online dating. eHarmony's alright, but I tend to freeze up at the idea of actually direct messaging versus the pre-baked questions steps, and, well, never have. My worry is it's hard to read people when talking over text. People tell me I'm funny, but I know my humor isn't going to resonate with everyone. In person, I can try to see how people respond and adjust accordingly. But in person it tends to take me a while to be comfortable around someone. I'm usually quiet. But, like you said, nothing ventured nothing gained. The other thing I need to work past if I'm going to do online dating is being wary of long distance relationships. It's just tricky because I'm pretty well settled in where I'm at. I have a career and a house. I don't want to leave either. But eventually, one of us would have to leave where they are at. Going into it with the attitude that they've got to be the one to do so doesn't seem right.
War Peaceman
You're a big guy.
The other avenue that post leads to is... normal women don't excite me anymore. I have very particular interests...
Morrigan Stark
Arrogant Smirk
He has mentioned goth girls before. So I would presume he means women from marginal subcultures like that.
Hmm. Any women here wanna chip in on this? Like if you feel yourself to be an independent and modern thinking woman then is a man being rich a game changer? Say you were somewhat interested in a man, like 7 interest points out of 10. Would this jump higher if you knew that the man in question is rich?
Why do I ask this? Am I rich? No, so this doesn't really pertain to me as an individual but it's something I've been thinking about because everyone (men) keeps saying how getting rich will solve all women troubles.
Principate
Saint Titanfall
The main advantage of online dating isn't long distance, frankly barely anyone wants to just start up a long distance relationship, they are difficult enough by themselves. The advantage is finding and interacting with people within a reasonably local area that you normally otherwise wouldn't that's where the numbers advantage of online show's itself, there's all sorts of sites which you can use to find all sorts of people just need to patience to look and work on how to get meaningful conversations.
Roufianos
Member
I do on Greeks. Ended up meeting 4 girls that way.
If you have some obvious similarities then I don't think it seems too desperate.
Cindi Mayweather
Member
It's not a negative assumption. It's pure caution. I have no idea what he's going to do? Am I supposed to think he's a great guy without any receipts? I'm not going to think he's an asshole either because that's a judgement and I don't know him. But making sure he's not a danger is survival 101. Caution is needed and caution overwhelmingly puts a "negative" light by default, so what am I and other women supposed to do?
kavanf1
Member
Money can't buy you love, but it can buy you stability, and nice experiences, and material goods that allow you to live in comfort. I think regardless of gender, most people would prefer their partner to be wealthy. Like so much else that has been discussed in this thread, the key thing is whether or not this preference makes it into their Tinder bio...
Cotton McKnight
Member
The nice guy cry is really a guy thinking he is being nice going for a girl that is not worth his time (and a lot of the time not worth it for the girl too).
Tried it plenty of times, then learned what I did not want in a girl, then the right one magically appeared (oh yeah I stopped looking at the incompatible ones). We've been married going on 13 years, and I can honestly say she is my best friend.
Tried it plenty of times, then learned what I did not want in a girl, then the right one magically appeared (oh yeah I stopped looking at the incompatible ones). We've been married going on 13 years, and I can honestly say she is my best friend.
Principate
Saint Titanfall
If that's it then it's honestly fine and i wasted my time and yours. Just when i read your phrase of most men are such and such and thus I assume all men are and work back, it lead me to stated issue that are needlessly stated at this point. Either way your points are sound and correct.
Cindi Mayweather
Member
Money helps but isn't the sole factor. Would rather be with a poor guy who has goals and a dream than a rich cum stain.
Fixed that for you.
lightskintwin
Banned
IMO Part of that nice guy cry comes from guys hollering at women out of their league.
Yeah, that was my hope. I'd have to look again, but it seems like the overwhelming majority of matches weren't in my area. I live in a city of only around 70,000 people. But factor in nearby cities/towns as well and there's probably more like 300,000 people. If I resub I'll filter through and see who I may have overlooked.
I live in the South so maybe I should just start going to church
I'm not anti-religion at all, just not a church-goer. I did look into Habitat for Humanity a little while back as a good way to learn some useful skills and meet people who aren't coworkers, but they weren't in the construction process on any houses at the time. I should look into that again.blame space
Banned
how do you know if people are in your league
i watch the league if that helps
i watch the league if that helps
JadedWriter
Member
I have been guilty of this many times.
Principate
Saint Titanfall
Yeah, that was my hope. I'd have to look again, but it seems like the overwhelming majority of matches weren't in my area. I live in a city of only around 70,000 people. But factory in nearby cities/towns as well and there's probably more like 300,000 people. If I resub I'll filter through and see who I may have overlooked.
I live in the South so maybe I should just start going to church
Start with the biggest sites but don't assume everyone that is into online dating is there, Also I'd try interacting with people further away and less likely for someone to happen intially. Typical consersation starters are generic as hell because everyone uses them and are thus unattractive unless your that good looking, it may take a few tries how to properly get yourself out there and maintain a meaningful conservation and you don't want to test that out on the few people that live close by (e.g the people most likely for anything anything to actually happen with). Church is how christians hook up, but keep in mind what your getting into with that especially if your not religious.
Morrigan Stark
Arrogant Smirk
Money has never been a factor for me whatsoever (I pay for my own shit, always have), and men who keep insisting it is seems to be using it as a pretext, tbh. Of course, being very poor/unemployed/in financial trouble could be a factor working against you (can't afford to do any cool activities, for instance, and might be worrying if looking for a long-term relationship), but that's different, and it goes both ways, not just for one gender.
lightskintwin
Banned
I think most people don't know, which complicates things. LOL Sometimes it's so painfully obvious though.
Principate
Saint Titanfall
Money isn't a sole factor? Someone best go tell Chris Brown, he gives out bad dating advice.
You mean Chris "beat her down" brown is giving out bad advice. You don't say. I mean he's not entirely wrong for some women or people in general, but it's hardly some common rule.
I do get that, I mean the thought process behind that is super old and logical. I just felt it was a really conservative thing that would lose it's relevance when we as a society move forwards towards a more progressive zeitgeist. But this thinking may be a fallacy of me projecting myself. I myself would feel a bit uncomfortable enjoying a significantly more luxurous life all of a sudden because my partner paid for it. I absolutely do not mean in a "man bring food home" way. I would feel the same if my partnet was a man. I don't mind if my GF is taller than me or makes more money than me, but something about my partner being downright rich makes me a bit uncomfortable and as I'm typing this I realize that this feeling propably tells more about me than anything else.
Thanks for the answers.
lightskintwin
Banned
Money isn't a sole factor? Someone best go tell Chris Brown, he gives out bad dating advice.
Money has a huge advantage, it opens up so many doors that would otherwise be closed.
Lol, I agree. That lyric in Loyal make me cringe hearing that from him.
excelsiorlef
Member
You have to register for the major league draft bro.
Then if drafted the GM will keep you on the main roster or send you down to either Triple A, Double A or Single A.
excelsiorlef
Member
Nevermind.
lightskintwin
Banned
Which lyric? When a rich nigga want you? And your nigga can't do nothing for ya.
Yeah, I don't like starting conversations out of the blue. Just seems, as you said, generic as hell. Much better when I've got a specific subject to work with. Like a couple weeks ago, I went to a concert crawl. One of the acts had a woman who played the string bass. I used to play violin (and cello for a very short time) when I was growing up. But I've retained an interest in musical instruments, and I've always like the string bass, and after the concert, I went up to her and said as much and we had a short conversation. The moral is to apply that to online dating. People often say to look at their interests on their profiles and try to open a conversation about that, and I should try that.
Anyway, thanks for the discussion/advice. If nothing else, I think it's been good for my attitude.
Yeah, I was talking with a coworker about this recently. She and her husband make around the same amount, and she's glad. That way there's no imbalance regarding expectations on spending or doing chores around the house. They work similar hours and earn about the same amount, so they figure their household responsibilities should be about equal as well. And fortunately for them they are both similarly frugal. If she earned a lot less or was a stay at home mom, she'd be more worried about whether she was doing enough, or too much at home, how much she could spend on herself, etc. Same if her husband earned a lot less.
Principate
Saint Titanfall
I'm glad you found it useful, hope things work out.
Cindi Mayweather
Member
Fair point!
Those guys who think they're kings might do well on tinder and they might not. In my experience though, that behavior is usually a result of poor socialization with women and doesn't really result in women wanting to be with them because it's try hard. If a guy is try hard in real life, he's undoubtedly a try hard online. I can imagine a guy like that sending a message on tinder asking for nudes or sending a dick pic right out the gate. He might get a bite now and then, but I doubt they're as successful as you think, and Tinder will show them the reality of the situation.
lightskintwin
Banned
Learn how to dance so you can grind on random people at a party/club/bar which naturally leads to a brief conversation where you get her name and number. LOL
Yeah this is the kind of stuff I was thinking about as well.
Quote is me, mostly lol. I hear you, girl.
Cindi Mayweather
Member
Tinder is not only designed for meeting and fucking it's also designed around the idea of physical attraction and making you feel good. If you don't think Tinder isn't designed around making you feel good (getting a like, or the mere existence of super likes, maxing likes in a day). Tinder has made hooking up so easy, and because it's so easy you need a hook. The hook is the ego boost that the app itself gives that makes hooking up so easy. Otherwise people wouldn't use it. I don't think you have properly thought out what meeting and fucking does. Do you think people are going to feel like it's a neutral thing? No. Pyschogically, people who use Tinder as it's designed will come away with a positive experience informed by the positive feelings they gain for using the app. Tinder is *the* ego boost.
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