-
Hey, guest user. Hope you're enjoying NeoGAF! Have you considered registering for an account? Come join us and add your take to the daily discourse.
Tinder is destroying mens self-esteem (New York Post)
- Thread starter entremet
- Start date
- Status
Principate
Saint Titanfall
Those are sorts of people often get offended at rejection because they were so gracious to message someone so far below their league, and tend assumed sexgods. I've come across enough complaints of those types. They tend to react that way to protect their ego, nothing wrong with me must be her. You'll typically get those that are very successful at getting dates, thus tinder is their playing ground as the whole situation benefits those the most, those that are good looking but not great conversational, more like react badly at rejection and those imbetween which probably the least likely to have significant negative backlash.
One thing being missed here is this I think, the so called privileged men, ie, tall, good looking white dudes, their self-esteem really aren't being destroyed. They are still the alpha dogs. So certain posters that are deriving pleasure from this topic are missing the point I think.
Seems like average to ugly looking guys of all color, and heights are the ones who are getting snubbed. The privileged men are still privileged, and they probably are too busy hooking up to care about random angsty forum posters? Don't you think?
Seems like average to ugly looking guys of all color, and heights are the ones who are getting snubbed. The privileged men are still privileged, and they probably are too busy hooking up to care about random angsty forum posters? Don't you think?
Principate
Saint Titanfall
Eh, hookups can be boring sometimes especially when their not difficult to get, so that may not necessarily be true.
excelsiorlef
Member
Or don't do that at all.
flintstryker
Banned
Maybe this is mostly an american thing but I have never bought into the whole league idea, why in fucks name would I put anyone on a pedestal?
lightskintwin
Banned
So uptight.
LookAtMeGo
Member
Try dancing while white bruh
He's being facetious, genius
It's called Bumble
point being, they are still privileged, so all this crying about "tough sh*t just take it like a man" still doesn't apply to them, ie, so that particular stance is, well, useless.
LOL, he doesn't know blame space I guess. I thought that was a brilliant post.
heliosRAzi
Banned
It's designed to meet and fuck, the ego boost is just secondary; it's a natural result of hooking up with people. Still, I never really heard of anyone feeling good when they swipe left.
lightskintwin
Banned
Ok, i figured he was being funny, but answered anyway.
It's not putting anybody on a pedestal, I don't believe in that. It's taken an honest inventory of yourself, observing the world around you, and using your own personal experiences to understanding what women you have the best chances with and why; and also how to improve yourself to increase your chances of dating a woman of a higher caliber.
LOL White folks get their grind on just the same, it maybe off beat a little, but they hunching on the dance floor.
excelsiorlef
Member
Please.
lightskintwin
Banned
Well you sound as if you've never been to a party and danced with a stranger.
Cindi Mayweather
Member
I doubt men of other races are not being snubbed just because of that. They might be snubbed every now and then but that happens to about everyone. You'll get matches on Tinder as long as you look decent. You won't get as many matches but the point of Tinder is to get a match, no?
Cindi Mayweather
Member
Eh. I think you're taking my posts about that too literal. And I did get the ego boost from tinder's base design. When I swiped right I would usually get a like back already. So it was constant positive reinforcement. Swiping left made me feel powerful. So I definitely got that kind of enjoyment out of it combined with getting a match with almost person I liked. The ego thing is built into Tinder's basic design.
excelsiorlef
Member
I've been to plenty of parties and clubs where I had to help people I was with get male strangers who were grinding on our friends to fick off, very much uninvited and unwanted grinding btw.
Question though: Did you mean grind on ramdom people as in walk on the dance floor and just start grinding on women or did you mean meet a girl at a club and then mutually agree to dance together which would entail grinding.
My interpretation was the first. Hence my replies.
In my experience, nice guy cry is mostly dudes that don't know how to express interest in women and/or don't know how to recognize if a girl likes them.
I don't really begrudge it, as it's not always super intuitive unless you are around women a lot.
lightskintwin
Banned
Ok and? Why do you always make it black or white? As if there weren't other women who reciprocated and danced with other dudes who were grinding on them. Don't you think there's a reason this phonema happens?
excelsiorlef
Member
I like you. Want to go out?
This is not rocket science man.
See my edit before I continue this conversation.
heliosRAzi
Banned
I'm not saying there isn't any ego boost from matching, but it's the same as someone returning your call/text or reciprocation or matching at speed dating. It's not something unique to Tinder. Still, I'm glad you can say no/reject people without getting harassed for it.
lightskintwin
Banned
Your interpretation was right. LOL
excelsiorlef
Member
I just mean, whether or not the conversation is going that way or not. Whether she wants you to kiss her or whatever.
It's easy if you give no fucks about the outcome, but for most people it's nowhere near as straightforward as you make it sound.
Jason's Ultimatum
Member
I went to hang out with a couple of guys a week ago, and we went to some bars. These places were very loud and crowded for a Thursday night.
Boy oh boy it's a lot easier to talk and get girls numbers places like that than online dating. Even making out, too.
Boy oh boy it's a lot easier to talk and get girls numbers places like that than online dating. Even making out, too.
excelsiorlef
Member
If you can't figure out literally anyway else. Then yes that's the answer.
Defaulting to "nice guy" is not acceptable.
Principate
Saint Titanfall
Sure it is if she has a boyfriend whose long distance and you've put enough effort to convince everyone else your going out (without actually going out yet). I'm talking about the works
I'm not serious but I now someone who did this seemed like a reasoningly nice and charming dude with a few warning signs, of course my opinion of him changed forever after I heard
Your Entertainer
Member
lightskintwin
Banned
Such a blanket statement that's ultimately worthless, at least towards me. How are you going to tell me not to do a social interaction that I've been successfully doing for over a decade as well as my friends. As somebody that's partied for over a decade in all the hot spots in Atlanta, annually partying in other major cities from Miami to Las Vegas and everywhere in between; I've had to have danced with over hundreds of different women that were strangers. And I don't recall ever asking even one, if they would like to dance. And the worst part of it? They enjoyed it... Oh the horror.
Quit thinking all rules apply to everybody equally because of your limited world perspective or experiences.
Secret Fawful
Member
Damn. With this thread, Cindi has ascended and become the new Devolution of GAF, destroyer of the ain't shit.
Admiral Woofington
Member
I'm giving a try to that app where the girls message you first. At least this time I won't have to wonder if me messaging them is lost in the sea of guys. This time if she messsages me at least she'd be somewhat interested.
And if not then hey that's fine, I always have you Manoela.
And if not then hey that's fine, I always have you Manoela.
Jason's Ultimatum
Member
Like no kidding. I three way kissed two girls, and this other girl. Woo LAWD. I wasn't sure if the guy she was with was her bf, but I asked if I could kiss her, and if it'd be alright with her presumably bf. She says something to him, and we kissed. She was eying me down when she first walked in.
Of course when you're in a bar, it helps being tall, ok looking, and dressed nice.
.
eot
Banned
lightskintwin
Banned
This man knows what's up.
Horse Detective
Why the long case?
I don't know why someone who doesnt get a lot of action irl would have faith in a dating app that removes the one thing that gets women to date them: social pressure.
Also, months later and I still think this height thing is an urban legend.
Also, months later and I still think this height thing is an urban legend.
ThisGuy
Member
Wait.
That works for real? I've never done that. There's always been some type of invitation, a head nod, or big smile. Damn...I'll be trying that in a couple months I think.
*Incoming thread about my black eye.
Anyways, for the league talk, I have no fear shooting out of my league. Sure she'll most likely say no, which is fine, I ain't mad, my ugly ass don't have any business up in that any how. But on the off chance they say yes, jack pot! So as long as you don't get mad and realize the odds are stacked against you, I firmly believe in trying to get to the next level.
Grindr.
Don't pay attention to him. You were there and obviously knew what was and wasn't appropriate.
Combichristoffersen
Combovers don't work when there is no hair
I wish. But no, mutual interests are very important to me, so I prefer girls from the goth and metal subcultures, with generally nerdy girls or punk girls as an option, but there's few of them on Tinder around here. I generally have little or nothing of substance to talk to normal women about (and only find goth/metal/punk girls attractive anyway), so no point wasting time there.
One of the best dates I've had was 6 hours of getting drunk with a punk girl while discussing serial killers and our mutual misanthropy.
ViewtifulJC
Banned
excelsiorlef
Member
She...
flintstryker
Banned
This person would faint if him/her were to go to a Jamaican party!
lightskintwin
Banned
If you can make it work, sure. And I'm talking about no signs whatsoever, women in the middle of the dance floor dancing by themselves, and me and my homeboys coming right behind and dancing with them. They typically look back, approve of what they see and continue dancing, sometimes even start breaking you off something. Now obviously I wouldn't recommend this to just anybody. However it helps if you look decent, smell decent, and can actually dance. I'm also 6'1 so I'm certain that plays a part on first impressions.
That's the type of spirit you need to have for shooting for a woman out of your league.
Her reaction:
flintstryker
Banned
Yeah random grinding is pretty much our default settingIf you can make it work, sure. And I'm talking about no signs whatsoever, women in the middle of the dance floor dancing by themselves, and me and my homeboys coming right behind and dancing with them. They typically look back, approve of what they see and continue dancing, sometimes even start breaking you off something. Now obviously I wouldn't recommend this to just anybody. However it helps if you look decent, smell decent, and can actually dance. I'm also 6'1 so I'm certain that plays a part on first impressions.
That's the type of spirit you need to have for shooting for a woman out of your league.
Her reaction:
- Status