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[ViewtifulJC]

saying something is popular or prominent doesn't really win an argument against personal space. people dance in all sorts of ways, that doesn't mean everyone should or would be comfortable with it.

That's fine, but telling dude to never do that and such and such is wrong isn't a good answer. Different people have different customs, you do your "may I have this dance m'lady", let him do his thing. It's clearly worked in a variety of places with a variety of people.

 

[LookAtMeGo]

I hate dancing so much that I had 3 cute girls pulling at my arm to go dance with the 3 of them on the dance floor and I stood my gound and resisted. Went back to my booth to continue chugging beer. It was literally a game of tug of war.

 

[Cindi Mayweather]

Morality has nothing to do with it honey.

It's the same kind of argument we here when women say we hate being hit on by strangers or catcalled. "But some girls like it". That's cool, they can like it all they want. That doesn't mean I should. If more people treated women like individuals instead of a hive mind, there would be no need for these discussions.

I think it's fine to not like it. I don't think random grinding is fun either. I think they feel you're judging them for liking it when it's pretty normal, hence the pushback. So when you say to never do it ever, it just feels weird because that's not gonna be how things happen at a black dance.

 

[Professor Beef]

I hate dancing so much that I had 3 cute girls pulling at my arm to go dance with the 3 of them on the dance floor and I stood my gound and resisted. Went back to my booth to continue chugging beer. It was literally a game of tug of war.

good, good

show them you're an alpha

 

[lightskintwin]

You still go to clubs? I haven't been to a good dance club in a while. Name me club suggestions for ATL. Will be around that ways for work later this year.

I'll go for a birthday or something special, but we go to more chill spots in general, and go out of town to party at their clubs. However let me know when you coming and I can tell you all the hotspots.

We are the party. it don't matter where it's at, we'll get to dancing. LOL

 

[LookAtMeGo]

good, good

show them you're an alpha

I just hate dancing.

 

[Professor Beef]

I just hate dancing.

shhhhhhhh, don't let them know that it'll blow the mystique

 

[Cindi Mayweather]

Nah, we go to more chill spots in general, and go out of town to party at their clubs. However let me know when you coming and I can tell you all the hotspots.

Sure thing. I'll have to find the top drag clubs first tho.

 

[Morrigan Stark]

Yup. Just a lot of people doing this

Hahahaha nah dude that's like, hardcore dancing shit, maybe you see those at metalcore concerts or something.

What you do see a lot of, is this.

 

[ishibear]

I feel you but It's pretty normal in black clubs/dances. Everyone there down to grind so no one really cares. I would suggest avoiding black dances/clubs if it definitely bothers you. The House Party dance off/dance party scene is a pretty close representation.

Black clubs are all I've attended... besides a formal dance once. I just haven't experienced this for myself, everyone asks to dance with me. But if it is happening to the other women in the club, I can't say I would know because at face value, I assume people dancing together know each other. But I don't pay much attention to everyone else. I'm always too busy having fun to care haha

 

[LionPride]

It's like guys have a hard time understanding that just because they get away with doin some shit somewhere, they are gonna get away with it everywhere.

 

[lightskintwin]

Black clubs are all I've attended... besides a formal dance once. I just haven't experienced this for myself, everyone asks to dance with me. But if it is happening to the other women in the club, I can't say I would know because at face value, I assume people dancing together know each other. But I don't pay much attention to everyone else. I'm always too busy having fun to care haha

Ishii, what's funny is a good percentage of my friends are from New York. LOL Why you think dudes like moving to Atlanta?

It's like guys have a hard time understanding that just because they get away with doin some shit somewhere, they are gonna get away with it everywhere.

Who's saying that though. When in Rome, do as the Romans do. Smart people adapt to their environment.

 

[ishibear]

we'll have a dance battle, you don't want none

Beef I don't want to have a twerk off against you. That's too easy a victory for me. 😗

 

[Makai]

New topic is NYC vs Atlanta.

 

[LionPride]

New topic is NYC vs Atlanta.

Fuck the both of em tbh

 

[flintstryker]

New topic is NYC vs Atlanta.

I have never been to Atlanta, but I say Atlanta

 

[Mega]

Morality has nothing to do with it honey.

It's the same kind of argument we here when women say we hate being hit on by strangers or catcalled. "But some girls like it". That's cool, they can like it all they want. That doesn't mean I should. If more people treated women like individuals instead of a hive mind, there would be no need for these discussions.

I'm doing the complete opposite and asking people not to assume their mentality and their local situation is the same as what this guy sees and experiences in his neck of the woods. It's fine if you don't like it and other people don't like it, but it went further than that to personally attacking him over their personal beliefs.

 

[Cindi Mayweather]

Black clubs are all I've attended... besides a formal dance once. I just haven't experienced this for myself, everyone asks to dance with me. But if it is happening to the other women in the club, I can't say I would know because at face value, I assume people dancing together know each other. But I don't pay much attention to everyone else. I'm always too busy having fun to care haha

Do they grind after they ask? Or is it actually dancing? Damn girl you hitting them spots if you're finding places where men actually ask. I haven't been to clubs regularly since my early 20's and back they did it with no reservation. I'm far too used it though because I've seen it happening since I was a teenager. It's a part of why I don't go to clubs anymore besides just being grounds for getting laid. I assume that men start asking more the older they get. I hope at least, so maybe that's why you're lucking out?

 

[Professor Beef]

Beef I don't want to have a twerk off against you. That's too easy a victory for me. 😗

oh that's it you gonna have me going old-school on you

just you wait, i'ma have a cardboard box on the ground waiting to show you what's hot in the streets

 

[Mega]

Who's saying that though. When in Rome, do as the Romans do. Smart people adapt to their environment.

Pretty much this. Not much else to say.

 

[lightskintwin]

New topic is NYC vs Atlanta.

It's amazing how much Atlanta has influenced New York. if you would've told me that would've happened 15 years ago, I'd say you're lying. I remember when dudes from Atlanta would copy New York's swag, and lie that they were from there in order to pull chicks

 

[Cindi Mayweather]

New topic is NYC vs Atlanta.

Atlanta.

 

[ishibear]

I think it's fine to not like it. I don't think random grinding is fun either. I think they feel you're judging them for liking it when it's pretty normal, hence the pushback. So when you say to never do it ever, it just feels weird because that's not gonna be how things happen at a black dance.

Oh, well no I wanna make it clear, live and let live is my life. Long as you ain't hurting anyone, do your thing. I only got involved because the "prude" accusations started. I don't think it's prudish to not want strangers to grind on you. I just avoid it because I sure as hell don't want some dude thinking that a dance like that means I'm down to fuck. Don't want to risk it.

Ishii, what's funny is a good percentage of my friends are from New York. LOL Why you think dudes like moving to Atlanta?

.....the jobs and the weather.... 😅

 

[LookAtMeGo]

Hahahaha nah dude that's like, hardcore dancing shit, maybe you see those at metalcore concerts or something.

What you do see a lot of, is this.

I went to see System of a Down (yeah I like them) and I almost passed out from banging my head too much. The crowd was so packed and it was so hot I actually rung sweat out of my sweater when I went outside.

When I was walking through to the back of the crowd almost fainting I was getting pats on the back from people congradulating me for rocking out so hard.

Mushrooms and SoaD are a dangerous mix.

 

[MUnited83]

It doesn't just as long as you don't tell me I'm wrong or I shouldn't do it, as another poster in here did.

As someone who has frequented a similar scene for years with friends, friends who stopped going because creepy ass dudes harassing them, groping them, starting to grind on them by essentially sneaking up on them... yes, you're fucking wrong. Don't assume that every fucking person in the club is up for it just because you think they are.

Gotta love the "culture" excuse tho, very creative.

 

[Cindi Mayweather]

Oh, well no I wanna make it clear, live and let live is my life. Long as you ain't hurting anyone, do your thing. I only got involved because the "prude" accusations started. I don't think it's prudish to not want strangers to grind on you. I just avoid it because I sure as hell don't want some dude thinking that a dance like that means I'm down to fuck. Don't want to risk it.

Yeah you're definitely not a prude if you're not big on it. To be honest, even though it's standard it's not a good look to do especially past the age of 15 when you should know better. I think having courtesy to ask wouldn't hurt. I don't go to clubs anymore because of it.

 

[lightskintwin]

As someone who has frequented a similar scene for years with friends, friends who stopped going because creepy ass dudes harassing them, groping them, starting to grind on them by essentially sneaking up on them... yes, you're fucking wrong. Don't assume that every fucking person in the club is up for it just because you think they are.

Gotta love the "culture" excuse tho, very creative.

Ok, i hope you feel better after getting off your soapbox. Your biggest problem is you're conflating me being one of those creepy ass dudes.

Yeah you're definitely not a prude if you're not big on it. To be honest, even though it's standard it's not a good look to do especially past the age of 15. I think having courtesy to ask wouldn't hurt.

Dat bolded shot. LOL I ain't even mad tho because it was good.

 

[ishibear]

oh that's it you gonna have me going old-school on you

just you wait, i'ma have a cardboard box on the ground waiting to show you what's hot in the streets

DON'T THREATEN ME

Do they grind after they ask? Or is it actually dancing? Damn girl you hitting them spots if you're finding places where men actually ask. I haven't been to clubs regularly since my early 20's and back they did it with no reservation. I'm far too used it though because I've seen it happening since I was a teenager. It's a part of why I don't go to clubs anymore besides just being grounds for getting laid. I assume that men start asking more the older they get. I hope at least, so maybe that's why you're lucking out?

Actual dancing! I love doing hustles and trying to salsa... key word is try. I do my best to spare your toes. 😆

I haven't been to a club in a little over a year (I'm 24 now). Hmmm... I do attract older guys, that could be it! Although even in high school I was asked too...

Maybe I am just lucky. Oh fuck I don't wanna jinx myself. 😵 (knock on wood)

 

[Cindi Mayweather]

It wasn't a shot. At least on purpose. I'm sorry.

 

[Professor Beef]

DON'T THREATEN ME

the boombox will be waiting

 

[Leeness]

I don't really care if I'm a prude for thinking randomly going up to some woman you don't know and rubbing your junk all over her is horrifying, especially since it would probably give me a major anxiety/panic attack.

Guess I'm a horrible judgmental person. Oh well. :/

 

[lightskintwin]

Actual dancing! I love doing hustles and trying to salsa... key word is try. I do my best to spare your toes. ��

I haven't been to a club in a little over a year (I'm 24 now). Hmmm... I do attract older guys, that could be it! Although even in high school I was asked too...

Maybe I am just lucky. Oh fuck I don't wanna jinx myself. �� (knock on wood)

I used to say, If I'm dancing in front of you, what's the point? LOL

It wasn't a shot. At least on purpose. I'm sorry.

It's cool. You owed me one anyway.

I don't really care if I'm a prude for thinking randomly going up to some woman you don't know and rubbing your junk all over her is horrifying, especially since it would probably give me a major anxiety/panic attack.

Guess I'm a horrible judgmental person. Oh well. :/

Of course you're not a horrible judgemental person, I think you thinking that and expecting that is perfectly fine. However I doubt you'd be in middle of a hip hop club dancing in the middle of the dance floor with your girls either.

 

[GamerSoul]

Yeah random grinding on the dance floor is a normal thing but not if she's taken.

Yea ..about that... >.> what if I didn't know and he was there the whole time, but they were cool with it? It was honestly very awkward once I found out. My "wingman" failed to give me the full details until after the fact.

Any well, the whole club scene is still fairly new to me, so I guess I'm still getting the hang of it, but I have no problem dancing. With or without someone. I'm just having fun and getting my money's worth. haha. Step out of your comfort zone every once in a while peeps!

 

[Cindi Mayweather]

DON'T THREATEN ME



Actual dancing! I love doing hustles and trying to salsa... key word is try. I do my best to spare your toes. 😆

I haven't been to a club in a little over a year (I'm 24 now). Hmmm... I do attract older guys, that could be it! Although even in high school I was asked too...

Maybe I am just lucky. Oh fuck I don't wanna jinx myself. 😵 (knock on wood)

Be careful. That could be LightskinTwin's wood. *shudder*

I really need to go fix my work schedule so I'm not working nights anymore. Not being able to dance and go to bars and concerts is killing me. Salsa is tough but I love it. Do you wear heels when you go dancing? I googled a local dancehall the other week and it's a fucking square dance hall.

 

[ishibear]

I don't really care if I'm a prude for thinking randomly going up to some woman you don't know and rubbing your junk all over her is horrifying, especially since it would probably give me a major anxiety/panic attack.

Guess I'm a horrible judgmental person. Oh well. :/

You're not Leelee. /hugs/ You can only look out for yourself. No one should judge you for that.

 

[Professor Beef]

I don't really care if I'm a prude for thinking randomly going up to some woman you don't know and rubbing your junk all over her is horrifying, especially since it would probably give me a major anxiety/panic attack.

Guess I'm a horrible judgmental person. Oh well. :/

Nah, you ain't.

 

[lightskintwin]

Yea ..about that... >.> what if I didn't know and he was there the whole time, but they were cool with it? It was honestly very awkward once I found out. My "wingman" failed to give me the full details until after the fact.

Any well, the whole club scene is still fairly new to me, so I guess I'm still getting the hang of it, but I have no problem dancing. With or without someone. I'm just having fun and getting my money's worth. haha. Step out of your comfort zone every once in a while peeps!

Exactly, you'll learn a lot out there. Have fun.

Be careful. That could be LightskinTwin's wood. *shudder*

I really need to go fix my work schedule so I'm not working nights anymore. Not being able to dance and go to bars and concerts is killing me. Salsa is tough but I love it. Do you wear heels when you go dancing? I googled a local dancehall the other week and it's a fucking square dance hall.

The shots keep coming. LOL

 

[LookAtMeGo]

Back on the subject of Tinder. Do you really have to be witty with your first response? Is just saying hi or how are you considered lazy or something?

What would be the equivalent to grinding up on someone right away in opening text chat form?

 

[God Dayumm]

I don't really care if I'm a prude for thinking randomly going up to some woman you don't know and rubbing your junk all over her is horrifying, especially since it would probably give me a major anxiety/panic attack.

Guess I'm a horrible judgmental person. Oh well. :/

That is perfectly acceptable from you, and not judgemental. A significant amount of women don't like clubs for the same and other reasons. I don't like clubs because I am not comfortable being that forward with the ladies and only go with girl friends, never alone or with just other guys because then I'm standing next to the wall.

 

[Cindi Mayweather]

I don't really care if I'm a prude for thinking randomly going up to some woman you don't know and rubbing your junk all over her is horrifying, especially since it would probably give me a major anxiety/panic attack.

Guess I'm a horrible judgmental person. Oh well. :/

You're fine. I don't go anymore because of that too.

 

[Rentahamster]

People are different and like different things. Who'da thought.

 

[ishibear]

Be careful. That could be LightskinTwin's wood. *shudder*

I really need to go fix my work schedule so I'm not working nights anymore. Not being able to dance and go to bars and concerts is killing me. Salsa is tough but I love it. Do you wear heels when you go dancing? I googled a local dancehall the other week and it's a fucking square dance hall.

Oh God... 😖 (no offense Twin lol )

I'm a homebody but I actually prefer when I go out it's to get food or just to cruise around because I love the city lights at night and the air is so refreshing! But that's just me lol

Yeah I wear heels but only for like ten minutes. Then I'm barefoot haha! Where are you NYC? I'm in Michigan so I find it easier and more fun to find musical events to attend than clubs... but I haven't been to either in like a year. My old job left me exhausted every day. I was more eager to get home and nap than go out.

 

[Cindi Mayweather]

Back on the subject of Tinder. Do you really have to be witty with your first response? Is just saying hi or how are you considered lazy or something?

What would be the equivalent to grinding up on someone right away in opening text chat form?

Don't say hi or sup or whatever. It doesn't have to be witty but try to read her bio and make your first message related to that. It'll make you 1. Not look boring and 2. Show you're capable of having and starting a conversation, and 3. Actually show you bothered to read her profile which will in turn make it more likely to read yours and give you a shot. Same rule applies to things like OKC honestly.

 

[Leeness]

Of course you're not a horrible judgemental person, I think you thinking that and expecting that is perfectly fine. However I doubt you'd be in middle of a hip hop club dancing in the middle of the dance floor with your girls either.

You're not Leelee. /hugs/ You can only look out for yourself. No one should judge you for that.

Nah, you ain't.

That is perfectly acceptable from you, and not judgemental. A significant amount of women don't like clubs for the same and other reasons. I don't like clubs because I am not comfortable being that forward with the ladies and only go with girl friends, never alone or with just other guys because then I'm standing next to the wall.

You're fine. I don't go anymore because of that too.

Well that's good at least. Thank you 😔

 

[JadedWriter]

I'm 40. I'm a bad influence on these youngsters.

Thank god I'm not the oldest person in this thread.

 

[Cindi Mayweather]

Oh God... 😖 (no offense Twin lol )

I'm a homebody but I actually prefer when I go out it's to get food or just to cruise around because I love the city lights at night and the air is so refreshing! But that's just me lol

Yeah I wear heels but only for like ten minutes. Then I'm barefoot haha! Where are you NYC? I'm in Michigan so I find it easier and more fun to find musical events to attend than clubs... but I haven't been to either in like a year. My old job left me exhausted every day. I was more eager to get home and nap than go out.

I'm in the southwest where it's flooding all the damn time.

That sounds like heavy duty dancing tbh. I'm all about that EDM (specifically house and nu disco) so I don't generally go to traditional clubs. if I know I'm going to be doing something like salsa I try to bring a pair of dance shoes. They're life savers.

My favorite dance song of the past few years is Kiesza's Hideaway. House music the GOAT.

 

[blue_phazon]

I have low self-esteem but its not because of girls rejecting me (cause I never asked out a girl before), its more because of body image stuff.

Tinder is sorta weird to me because I get a good ego boost when I get the occasional match (about 1 or 2 a week), but I don't talk to them because I have no idea what to say.

 

[JadedWriter]

I have low self-esteem but its not because of girls rejecting me (cause I never asked out a girl before), its more because of body image stuff.

Tinder is sorta weird to me because I get a good ego boost when I get the occasional match (about 1 or 2 a week), but I don't talk to them because I have no idea what to say.

One or two a week is better than me. I haven't gotten a single match since I redownloaded the thing about 3 or four weeks ago.

 

[killertofu]

what is this thread about now? can we get a mandrake update

 

[lightskintwin]

Oh God... �� (no offense Twin lol )

It's all good. I don't take myself seriously and can take a good ribbing or roasting.

Thank god I'm not the oldest person in this thread.

The question is do you look it? Pics of me from last month.