SAO I Episode II (Beater)
The First Floor is named Tolbana. OK. So apparently not only have they not beaten the Floor One Boss, but they haven't found him either, which frankly smacks of poor game design. And apparently the ending song and animation I saw last time was actually the opening, which is pretty common. They're holding a meeting to stop being such scrubs in an amphitheater, which ended up having been called because someone finally found the boss. Apparently, Sword Art Online has no job system, which is good to know. Blue-haired leader guy has everyone group into squads, which is smart and Kirito pairs up with the other solo player which is about right. Oh hey, Uryu Ishida's voice actor is playing this objector guy. Objector guy complains about beta testers having an advantage, which I understand, and then tries to suggest making them give up their items and money which is laughable. And considering that many games have equipment that binds to players, potentially undoable. Agil, aka the big black dude who shows up in the opening and thus is probably relevant, reveals that the beta testers wrote a guide book which is distributed for free through the Item Store. What this Item Store is and how it works is something that kind of interests me. Is it like an auction system? Apparently players can distribute items via it so maybe it's just a generically-named, player-run market. This amphitheater is actually fairly well-drawn. We find out that experience will be given solely to the group that defeats the boss, so I might tentatively declare six to be the maximum party size, because otherwise they'd probably try to more fairly distribute the experience, like they do the money. Apparently items don't bind on pick-up or at least can be moved around the party because they specifically mandate that if you get an item you can keep it. I'm glad they're establishing rules now so that there's less grousing later, though this is all pretty standard. Oh god, I just saw a child walking by. An honest-to-goodness 6-8 year-old child. I hope that's an NPC. Kirito and Asuna eat the bread (Mikasa.gif) and we see a single-use item. Apparently the spread actually functions as an item in that it has no physical form until you apply it, which is kind of cool. I kind of want to see "The Heifer Strikes Back" animated. That would've made a fun OVA. So Kirito thought Asuna was a beginner because she had never partied before, which is fair enough, but then discovered her not to be one because of her good skills. I have no idea why everyone wouldn't lay information about their respective levels and skills on the table straightaway considering information is extremely necessary when planning a strategy and they will literally die if they fuck up. Blue-haired guy is doing a pretty good job as field commander with having the squads work in synch. Blue-haired guy tries to finish the boss for phat lootz but gets wrecked. Kind of stupid but I see why'd he do it. Blue-haired guy, who is either named Diago or Diabell, somehow divines that Kirito was a beta tester and reveals he is also one himself. Don't know how he figured that one out. Then he... chooses to die instead of drinking a healing potion which is right in front of him and when he has plenty of time to do so? What? Anyway, he then passes his mantle to Kirito and says that Kirito must defeat the boss FOR THE PEOPLE. Kirito then espouses his commitment to Lockean philosophy's law of nature, but realizes he cleaved true only to the first principle (self-preservation) while hitherto ignoring the second principle (preservation of others). Inspired by Diablo's example and not hampered by Diablo's hypocrisy and idiocy, Kirito then moves to kill the boss. Probably for the people, maybe for the phat lootz. Also, the walls and ceiling of the room this boss battle is in are kind of weird; they're shifting around and stuff. Asuna and Kirito double-team the boss with fairly good synergy but still have to be bailed out by Agil. It's actually really nice to watch a show where teamwork is actually being employed rather than just stated. Also props to Agil for having the guts to use a hammer in a game called Sword Art Online, because you just know all the coolest weapons are going to be swords. I'd love to hear people talk about using Swords Arts for their hammer and spears, actually, it'd sound so stupid. The boss almost hits Asuna, destroying her face-concealing cloak. This both provides a good opportunity to showcase the mechanic of item durability and item destruction, which will be important in a few episodes, and gives us a (mostly) legit reason for her to have sparkles around her. Though I would've also been fine with the item destruction mechanism being revealed by someone dying to a blow to the legs (vital areas only somewhat matters in games, of course) and then dying without pants. Probably wouldn't have fit the tone of the show though. Anyway, Agil and the boyz hold off the boss while Kirito presumably downs a health potion, then the deadly duo finishes off the boss to much rejoicing. Careful examination of victory screens indicates that the random background characters actually received money and experience, conflicting earlier statements, but I'm not sure if any got items or not. Objector guy somehow divines that Kirito is a beta tester, citing that Kirito understood the bosses' attack patterns. A rather boring witch-hunt then begins. Kirito decides to let Diablo die as an (idiotic) martyr and become a social pariah in order to stop having high-level players focus on beta testers as a scapegoat. This play to unite the Sword Art Online populace by playing the heel and having them unite against a common enemy might actually be interesting to watch, though hazardous to his health. Any cool points he gets for acting the arrogant prick are immediately lost when he called (hehe) "a beater". That never gets old. Kirito then comments on how he enjoys being known as a beater. He then dons his bad-ass black coat and walks off, presumably to go steal all the good quests and spawns on Floor Two like the beater scum he is. How the actual fuck did Asuna not notice Kirito's name this entire time? It's in her HUD, right next to that thing that literally displays whether she's alive or not. That makes very little sense. I know she calls herself an idiot for missing it, but there is absolutely no way anyone could actually miss that. The ending animation is basically completely without merit, but the song is pretty nice. December 3, about one month in the game, at least 20.01% of the population is dead and Floor One has been cleared.
This episode covered the events of December 2nd and 3rd.
Next Time: The Red-Nosed Reindeer!