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Transgaf: 'cause boys will be girls (and vice versa)

Y

yeoz

Member
Billiechu said:
GID was finally gotten rid of. It's just Gender Dysphoria now. It's fairly recent so I'm trying to get everyone to start using that term now.
Click to expand...
More specifically, Gender Identity Disorder from the DSM-IV was replaced by Gender Dysphoria in the proposed revision for the DSM-V.
It's a still a draft though, so who knows what might happen before the DSM-V is finally published around May 2013.
But I'll be pretty glad to destroy my copy of the DSM-IV when the DSM-V is finally published.

Also check out the APA's position statements. Not sure how much any of the above applies to aussies though.
 
E

Emitan

Member
yeoz said:
More specifically, Gender Identity Disorder from the DSM-IV was replaced by Gender Dysphoria in the proposed revision for the DSM-V.
It's a still a draft though, so who knows what might happen before the DSM-V is finally published around May 2013.
But I'll be pretty glad to destroy my copy of the DSM-IV when the DSM-V is finally published.

Also check out the APA's position statements. Not sure how much any of the above applies to aussies though.
Click to expand...
Ooops thought it had already happened.

Brian Griffin said:
Cool beans. "Disorder" sounds like something that can be cured with therapy or something and we all know how effective that is.
Click to expand...
Despite what SOME PEOPLE may say it's not mental at all, just physical... UNLESS I'M WRONG AGAIN
 
P

Platy

Member
Johnny Cage In The Shower said:
I hope you guys can have more open dialogue with people from outside, successfully educate the uneducated, and have something more meaningful and insightful to discuss in the aftermath of said threads than how many got banned and how many dodged bans etc.
Click to expand...

The topic was closed for a reason, re-open the discussion anywhere would be like saying "fuck you" to the moderator who closed it =P

lexi said:
is GID no longer kosher? I'm like a cis person in a trans body.
Click to expand...

The problem is not your indentity
 
C

CoryCubed

Member
Can someone please help me understand why surgery is "Elective", "Non Essential"," Cosmetic"

Or Life & Death for that matter. Here I am ready to mutilate myself or worse because of lack of funds. My quality of life is terrible. I gorge on food because I am stressed. That certainly could lead to a premature death. All because in many ways I feel the perception is "Oh this is just something you want, not need"

Given the choice I would rather be fighting cancer or something else than this. Yeah I have been on hormones six years but surgery was supposed to happen by 25 at the absolute latest, not 31 or so (28 now). So much life gone all because of a lack of funds.
 
E

Emitan

Member
CoryCubed said:
Can someone please help me understand why surgery is "Elective", "Non Essential"," Cosmetic"

Or Life & Death for that matter. Here I am ready to mutilate myself or worse because of lack of funds. My quality of life is terrible. I gorge on food because I am stressed. That certainly could lead to a premature death. All because in many ways I feel the perception is "Oh this is just something you want, not need"

Given the choice I would rather be fighting cancer or something else than this. Yeah I have been on hormones six years but surgery was supposed to happen by 25 at the absolute latest, not 31 or so (28 now). So much life gone all because of a lack of funds.
Click to expand...

I don't know what to say :(

Especially because my dysphoria isn't incredibly strong. I mean, it's still there and always bother me, but never to strength it is for you ;~;
 
P

Platy

Member
Sorry, but without knowing exactly what happened from both sides it is impossible to do anything that isn't just hope for everything to be ok with you =/

Johnny Cage In The Shower said:
=P
Click to expand...

GAF always allowed trans themed topics ... it is just a matter to wait for something worth a thread to pops up.

Or you can feel free to open one yourself.
 
Johnny Cage In The Shower

Johnny Cage In The Shower

Member
Platy said:
GAF always allowed trans themed topics ... it is just a matter to wait for something worth a thread to pops up.

Or you can feel free to open one yourself.
Click to expand...

I wish I knew enough about the subject to open one myself, the topic is always too sensitive and I don't want to be in the middle of it, but it does interest me however, so I do like to listen, (read) and debate.

A friend of a friend is a prominent transgender figure/activist in Toronto, if you are familiar with the TO LGBT scene, there's no mistaking who I am talking about. (A quick Google search would do too) Everyone knows her in the city. I was thinking maybe I could ask her one day (take permission from the mods to set her up a temp. account) and she could have like a Q & A session? I donno? she's a great person to chat with, regardless.
 
B

Brian Griffin

Member
Johnny Cage In The Shower said:
I wish I knew enough about the subject to open one myself, the topic is always too sensitive and I don't want to be in the middle of it, but it does interest me however, so I do like to listen, (read) and debate.
Click to expand...
How much of this thread have you read? I've been following it since the beginning and probably 95% of everything I've learned about trans people, their issues and their struggles have come from it. I'm sure there's still a ton to learn but I consider myself far more educated on the subject than your average person.
 
Y

yeoz

Member
CoryCubed said:
As I spiral down to a point of no return (doing much worse than now then when I posted before), I have begun the pursuit of having my surgery with my health insurance (Aetna), which resulted in a resounding no. It devastated me because initially it was approved. Yet it came back denied because, as the doctor said "Your employer has a specific exclusion for transgender surgery." I found this odd as they are paying for my hormones, and in many policies now they include gender identity/expression as a protected status within the company.

I spoke with my HR at length about this, who has been wonderful. I have started a process of having this given a second look, but I am not sure where else to look or what to say. I posted what happened on our internal company "Facebook", on a specific board for the LGBT community.

I fit Aetnas guidelines below (as many of us probably do), so I do not understand why it is this way. I imagine it comes from the ol' cosmetic argument. Part of me thinks if I can provide an honest, factual, valid business plan how my employer would benefit, I think that would go along way. I would think the reduced medication, therapy, and doctor visit costs over the next 2-5 years would make up a lot of the difference.

Even it was a meet halfway deal, like I pay the surgery and they pay the hospital/anesthesia less deductible. Trying to be realistic too. Even though I seem to be the only transsexual in the company, out of 220,000, I would guess there are at least five to ten others, so it is not like they would suddenly be paying millions of dollars more for these surgeries. I wouldnt mind either if I had to have a higher tier/expensive plan. We have two now as it is, a third with more coverage would not be a big deal. Not sure if that would make a difference, but my employer is a Fortune 100 company. Anyone have experience or advice in this situation?
Click to expand...
Ultimately, it was likely a cost thing. Group health insurance is a one-size-fits-all kind of thing, and companies will tend to pick and choose and limit options in order to save money, at the cost of not fully covering the rare person with specific needs. Find out who the plan administrator for your group health insurance is at your company, and have them find out how much it'll cost your company to add this coverage to the company's policy. You'll need to convince the plan administrator that it's beneficial and worthwhile for the company to get that coverage, and not beneficial to just you. Good luck. Please keep us informed.

Although, on re-read, if you're speaking to your HR dept already, it would seem like they would probably speak to the plan administrator on your behalf.
 
T

thatbox

Banned
yeoz said:
Ultimately, it was likely a cost thing. Group health insurance is a one-size-fits-all kind of thing, and companies will tend to pick and choose and limit options in order to save money, at the cost of not fully covering the rare person with specific needs. Find out who the plan administrator for your group health insurance is at your company, and have them find out how much it'll cost your company to add this coverage to the company's policy. You'll need to convince the plan administrator that it's beneficial and worthwhile for the company to get that coverage, and not beneficial to just you. Good luck. Please keep us informed.

Although, on re-read, if you're speaking to your HR dept already, it would seem like they would probably speak to the plan administrator on your behalf.
Click to expand...

I have read that, for companies, covering trans needs in their plans is usually not a cost issue because there are so few trans people to/who take advantage of them. I could try to find the source if you're interested.
 
Y

yeoz

Member
thatbox said:
I have read that, for companies, covering trans needs in their plans is usually not a cost issue because there are so few trans people to/who take advantage of them. I could try to find the source if you're interested.
Click to expand...
The rest of the thread might be interested, especially CoryCubed, so please feel free to provide that information to everyone.
 
P

Princess Viola

Member
I would be lying if I said I didn't wish I had a therapist. >_>

Unfortunately, while my grandfather is accepting of me, he doesn't want me to have a therapist because of my grandma. (She's really sick and starting to slip mentally...)
 
P

Platy

Member
Those threads about trans people got me thinking ...

How possible is to talk to some admin/mod to include in NeoGaf's FAQ a note about adressing transgendered individuals ONLY in their prefered pronouns, unregardless of what part of the person's life we are talking about ?

Then when stuffs like those happen, we would just happly link to the FAQ =3
 
L

lexi

Banned
Platy said:
Those threads about trans people got me thinking ...

How possible is to talk to some admin/mod to include in NeoGaf's FAQ a note about adressing transgendered individuals ONLY in their prefered pronouns, unregardless of what part of the person's life we are talking about ?

Then when stuffs like those happen, we would just happly link to the FAQ =3
Click to expand...

I asked nicely about this a little over 2 years ago. Maybe I'm asking the wrong people, or it's just not something that's particularly cared about.
 
P

Professor Beef

Banned
Platy said:
Those threads about trans people got me thinking ...

How possible is to talk to some admin/mod to include in NeoGaf's FAQ a note about adressing transgendered individuals ONLY in their prefered pronouns, unregardless of what part of the person's life we are talking about ?

Then when stuffs like those happen, we would just happly link to the FAQ =3
Click to expand...

It seems like it's easy enough to correct someone as it is without having to link to the FAQ, especially if it's an accident or if the person honestly didn't know. If the person tries to push it, one could simply ask a mod to intervene since anti-transgendered remarks are against the ToS.
 
P

Platy

Member
The problem is that most people think that "transphobic comments" are only the ones that would raise the censorship of a movie =P

Wich is why I would think a change would be better...
 
E

Emitan

Member
They unexpectedly said they don't have more work for me at my internship so I lost my job. I'm not very hopeful that my Dad would ever pay money for me to transition.

I think I'm about to start crying in the file room.
 
Y

yeoz

Member
Billiechu said:
They unexpectedly said they don't have more work for me at my internship so I lost my job. I'm not very hopeful that my Dad would ever pay money for me to transition.

I think I'm about to start crying in the file room.
Click to expand...
Oh god, I'm so sorry. *hug*
 
D

Dr.Palutena

Member
Hmm I've been quite busy recently, went to the Gay Straight Alliance meeting at my school, it was pretty cool, they had cupcakes and chips and stuff and everyone was pretty accepting. I also meet a few trans men who were pretty cool and were telling me about the various other trans people he has met, which I found fascinating since I've hardly met any trans people offline. He also told me about how he used to make money as a drag king along with some other anecdotes over all it was quite fun and cool. Also I've made an appointment at my school's counseling center to start talking about this stuff with a professional, overall I'm thrilled that I'm making some form of progress.
 
N

Nudull

Banned
As for me, quite a lot's happened.

Things have calmed downed around the home, although I still get bombarded with disgusting insults, interesting "notes" on the fridge, and little deals to get me to do the surgery from both of my folks. Thankfully, my brother's been more supportive of things. I've tried my best to find something, but unfortunately, there are so youth shelters or any related housing programs, and I don't know too much of anyone locally, so I'm stuck at home for the time being. Meanwhile, I've started to look for a job, and I've started to save whatever scraps of money I get by for future venture, including my eventual transition. It's going to be a hard path from here, but I think I'll manage.

As for how university's been, it's a lot more positive. Thanks to me joining the GSA and all, I've gotten a surprising lot of support and bonding from others, and it was pretty great and all. I've met quite a few other transwomen there, and they've shared a lot of interesting anecdotes and such. Plus, I've even started to see someone, and she and I have hit it off pretty well so far. Outside of this, classes have gone on fine and all, so overall, things are starting to look up!
 
P

Princess Viola

Member
Billiechu said:
They unexpectedly said they don't have more work for me at my internship so I lost my job. I'm not very hopeful that my Dad would ever pay money for me to transition.

I think I'm about to start crying in the file room.
Click to expand...
;-; I'm so sorry.

In other news, I was accused of not being a girl simply because I have a penis the other day. >_>
 
I

Instigator

Banned
CoryCubed said:
Can someone please help me understand why surgery is "Elective", "Non Essential"," Cosmetic"

Or Life & Death for that matter. Here I am ready to mutilate myself or worse because of lack of funds. My quality of life is terrible. I gorge on food because I am stressed. That certainly could lead to a premature death. All because in many ways I feel the perception is "Oh this is just something you want, not need"

Given the choice I would rather be fighting cancer or something else than this. Yeah I have been on hormones six years but surgery was supposed to happen by 25 at the absolute latest, not 31 or so (28 now). So much life gone all because of a lack of funds.
Click to expand...

If tomorrow you fell in a long coma, surgery would not be necessary because there never was anything physically wrong or life-threatening about you. You would not be conscious to disagree either.

Ultimately, the problem is in your head and how you think your body and your gender role in society should be. Cosmetic surgery is modern science's clumsy way to fix the problem indirectly, to put your mind at peace.

If given the same choice, I'd rather deal with your problems. I've seen terminal cancer up close, fuck this, I'm not living a few, short, miserable months in pain/numb on morphine glued to a hospital bed.
 
Amibguous Cad

Amibguous Cad

Member
I'm completely new to applying my own makeup and wanting to crossdress for a night on the town pretty soon. Does anyone know where I can find a super basic guide to this sort of thing? Almost all of the tutorials I've found are for people who already have the basics down.
 
Amibguous Cad

Amibguous Cad

Member
lexi said:
Something like this might help

Aimed at trans people specifically, but that's probably a good thing right?
Click to expand...

Indeed. Thanks for the link! Crossdressers/traps (is this term offensive? I kind of like it for myself but I can see how it would rub some the wrong way) aren't entirely the focus of the thread, but I figured it was a good place to go since they'd know what it was like to learn makeup later in life primarily from online sources, and know how to cover up general manliness things, heh.
 
J

Jintor

Member
Amibguous Cad said:
Indeed. Thanks for the link! Crossdressers/traps (is this term offensive? I kind of like it for myself but I can see how it would rub some the wrong way) aren't entirely the focus of the thread, but I figured it was a good place to go since they'd know what it was like to learn makeup later in life primarily from online sources, and know how to cover up general manliness things, heh.
Click to expand...

traps is offensive (in reference to trans persons). Crossdressers is a different thing, though semi-related.
 
P

Princess Viola

Member
Goddammit, my grandpa said that as long as I live under his roof, he won't let me go to a therapist for my gender dysphoria. ;_;

More reason to move in with my mother, I guess.
 
P

Platy

Member
Aiko Heiwa said:
Goddammit, my grandpa said that as long as I live under his roof, he won't let me go to a therapist for my gender dysphoria. ;_;

More reason to move in with my mother, I guess.
Click to expand...

...and for other reasons ?

Say you are having insomnia or something ... he is probably too old to even notice you sleep at night
 
L

lexi

Banned
Currently about 15 minutes away from boarding my flight to Thailand. Very nervous and also excited. I'm also not the best flyer.
 
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