Lee Chaolan
Member
I hear you. Dunno anyone who enjoys it, really. =P
-
Hey, guest user. Hope you're enjoying NeoGAF! Have you considered registering for an account? Come join us and add your take to the daily discourse.
Transgaf: 'cause boys will be girls (and vice versa)
- Thread starter lexi
- Start date
I hear you. Dunno anyone who enjoys it, really. =P
Crazy shaving fetishists. And communists.
Princess Viola
Member
Hey.
okay i'm not really a communist but for some reason a lot of my friends say i am
But it's even worse since I've been really beyond lazy and had a full beard and everything and also it was so painful.
It is the worst, shaving clean without knicking yourself or causing razor bumps/burn requires tons of patience and a bit of luck.
http://badgerandblade.com/
^ I think the people at this site enjoy it more than anyone else.
There's some great information to be found though.I hate this :-( One helpful tip in this situation is to focus on beard reduction rather than trying to get rid of it all at once.
Lee Chaolan
Member
http://badgerandblade.com/
^ I think the people at this site enjoy it more than anyone else.
LOL This is amazing.
Speaking of Amazing, there was an episode of The Amazing Race, where the task was Shaving a primping other people's crazy facial hair.
You could tell they were really into it. >_>;;
Princess Viola
Member
I'll try that.
It's time likes this I wish the whole situation which led to me right now not attending school never happened and that I had been placed in MC-JROTC again. At least then I would have to be clean shaven.
In the poll "How many razor blades do you currently have?" 49 people voted "around 200." O_O
I can kind of see it being gratifying to shave off another person's bushy beard; I don't know what that says about me haha.
I know taking the hairs clippers to my hair first helps wonders, then I can go back over it with a razor later.
Also, Hello Transgaf. This is my first time stopping in this thread I think? I've always just lurked. >_>
This is unrelated to shaving, but what kind of hair straighteners do you recommend? I have been growing my hair out and it's now shoulder length. I have dark brown, naturally wavy hair, which is now borderline curly in some areas, and I was thinking of picking up something like this:
http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/B00176B9JC/
Along with a new shampoo/conditioner. I used Paul Mitchell's line of tea tree oil products for a while, but I would like to try something different.
Welcome ^^
http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/B00176B9JC/
Along with a new shampoo/conditioner. I used Paul Mitchell's line of tea tree oil products for a while, but I would like to try something different.
Welcome ^^
I use this one: http://www.amazon.com/exec/obidos/ASIN/B004INQ65S/
My hair's very similar to yours and that gets it quite straight. If you wanna go cheap and still get something decent, that oughta do it.
When you only have your face to worry about it's not so bad. Covering ten times the surface area daily would be awful.
CHEEZMO
Obsidian fan
IRC info, quote to view, per request by fireside.
If your hair is actually curly to any degree, and doesn't just have some wave to it, I'd recommend talking to a stylist who deals with curly hair before doing any straightening. You can easily destroy your hair if you use a straightener on hair that isn't strong enough to take it.
Same for producta knowledgable stylist might be able to give you great recommendations on exactly what to use for your specific hair type.
The most awesome brazilian politician has put to vote a law that would make Brazil as awesome to trans people as Argentina.
Unfortunatly he is the ONLY non-completly sucking politician in the entire country =/
You don't need to be that berserk with changes .... unless you were REALLY repressing yourself for not to do those things before
Forcing yourself to do something don't belong to you is damaging, no matter if it is a girly or manly thing
Unfortunatly he is the ONLY non-completly sucking politician in the entire country =/
You don't need to be that berserk with changes .... unless you were REALLY repressing yourself for not to do those things before
Forcing yourself to do something don't belong to you is damaging, no matter if it is a girly or manly thing
Thanks! Ill keep this one in mind. Id rather not break the bank on a crazy expensive straightener.
Yeah, it would be smarter to do this first; theres a highly rated salon nearby that I want to visit. I just dont know how exactly I would approach that situation (what I would say).
I worry too much about what other people think ...
I know this might not be your case, but I hate these kind of ideas of "who I want to be" because it makes it sound like transition will turn you into someone you are not .. and in the end you will be basicaly the same person you always were.
Of course you might be saying "woman I want to be" in a "job position I want to have" kind of meaning ... but still ... if it is not second nature for you to do those things, it will feel as fake as being super manly cis dude =P
Princess Viola
Member
I act the same as I do even before I realized I was a girl.
Only I think I curse more. But that might be because of the internet.
Only I think I curse more. But that might be because of the internet.
Because I knew people who did this and regreted....
Talking about survival makes it sound like tomboys died for our sins or something =P
...or male art students.
People who get kicked by groups of women for not fitting those rules would be kicked either way even if they fitted, be it for prejudice or simply not being compatible.
Friends don't care if you a tomboy or an explosion of glitter =P
It is ok to learn make up ... if you want to use make up.
You could talk "lavender" instead of "purple" normaly all your life but you didn't because it didn't mattered to you or you simply wasn't wired that way.
...or you received bullying because of that and stoped doing.
Just be yourself and things will happen normaly when you start being yourself for real.
If they don't happen, you say fuck you to who hate you for that
You call, tell them that you're trying to grow your hair out, but you need help with styling, what products to use, how to care for it, etc. Stylists no doubt deal with that kind of thing all of the time, so they'll know what to do.
When you get there, be honest about what you want. When it comes to talking about style, be very clear in what you do or don't want. If you're a bit worried how they'll react, you can instead say that you want something "gender neutral". Unless you live in a super small town, keep in mind that it's pretty likely you won't be the first person they'll have met in such a situation.
The key really is being clear, and not beating around the bush about thingsbecause if you don't give the stylist enough to go on, they might make some decisions that you hate. Decisions that can take a while to negate.
You need to play Mario Kart and drink alcool with women =P
At the same time would be wonderful
I'm really sorry to say this, but they are not harassed and murdered because of how they talk ...
If you want perfect stealth than cursing would not change anything.
You need to focus on pitch and modulation... and delete all your internet back history, and move to another country and avoid any close relationships like love.
=/
I already have lots of lasting female friends who praticaly never used a single male pronoum and they knew me since before transition and I curse and use lots of tomboysh stuff.
But hen again I'm a tomboy feminist gamer and so are they xD
edit :
Like I said before, I live in a country with the biggest rate of transgender deaths of the entire world.
I know the fear of getting killed by transphobia .... it is not worth following a stereotype to fit in even because of that.
At the same time would be wonderful
I'm really sorry to say this, but they are not harassed and murdered because of how they talk ...
If you want perfect stealth than cursing would not change anything.
You need to focus on pitch and modulation... and delete all your internet back history, and move to another country and avoid any close relationships like love.
=/
I already have lots of lasting female friends who praticaly never used a single male pronoum and they knew me since before transition and I curse and use lots of tomboysh stuff.
But hen again I'm a tomboy feminist gamer and so are they xD
edit :
Like I said before, I live in a country with the biggest rate of transgender deaths of the entire world.
I know the fear of getting killed by transphobia .... it is not worth following a stereotype to fit in even because of that.
Brian Griffin
Member
Show me a woman who talks like you imagine and I'll show you 10 that don't. You seem to have some very stereotypical views of what makes a woman and saying that women don't curse like men sounds kinda sexist to be honest. You say that you want to act a certain way so you won't get murdered but then go on to say you don't care what people think...
By all means be who you want, change your vocabulary, change your mannerisms, whatever, but really make sure you are doing everything for you, not anyone else. Embarking on a grand quest for acceptance is all for not if you are untrue to who you really are.
Dr.Palutena
Member
I dont understand your inference of this movement, I dont really see it as a statement of "don't need to change anything" I think the crux of that phrase there is what is meant by "the way you are" , which doesn't have to refer to a physical state or personality or set of mannerisms to me, I dont consider anything about my external body or how I have to interact with the world around me currently as "the way I am" .
Dr.Palutena
Member
I don't think anyone is chastising you for that, they were chastizing you for what seemed like a narrow and rigid idea of what is needed to acheive said passing and stealth.Additonally it's naive and dangerous in regards to trans women to pursue 'stealth' too, for one its not completely achievable unless you never plan to form close relationships, there is always the chance of someone killing you too in panic or a number of other emotions when the time comes . However, at the end of the day do what ever you want and what makes you feel better about yourself, I and many here understand your desires, I partucularly just don't agree with your justifications , but oh well.
because fireside asked me nicely to remove it. You can hit quote on the message to view the server info. Or you can PM me.
I can only speak for myself, but I'm pretty damned comfortable with being a bookish tomboy nerd. What I crave most of all is inward and outward equilibrium, so toward that end I wish to only make changes that fundamentally agree with me as a person and what motivates me. Putting on an act is profoundly anathema to me, my history is already distorted enough by the indefatigable need to change everything from the way I carry myself to how I conduct myself. My journey could perhaps be described as learning to let go of pretense.
Im going to be honest with them; for the reasons you said, and if I decide that I want to establish a relationship with them and go there regularly/semi-regularly. They seem like the kind of place that would understand and be able to accommodate me. One good thing is that they offer a complimentary consultation. Im sure they will love working with my thick, poofy hair haha.
Thank you for all the advice ^^
I've been doing a lot of personal musing simce the start of the new year, piecing a lot of things together about myself and my life. To be really honest, I've also have been dealing with quite a lot of conflict in terms of my sense of gender, which has made me a bit hesitant in speaking. I do try to keep up my spirits, but lately, I've been feeling more negative than ever. don't really know if this may be another of my fits of depression, or my passive-agressive family and what they've done that's taking it's toll, but I should really look into psychiatry, that or just try and find others I can trust to talk to. I hope you're all doing well, and to those that I've yet to meet, hi and welcome.
Definitely the same case with me. During my teenage years I was absolutely obsessed with the idea of becoming a girl. Really to the point of obsessive compulsiveness. When I was alone I used to say 'I wish I was a girl' over and over. Crazy, but I guess that's how consumed I was by the desperation to be one. OFC this was overheard by a neighbour in the end who spread it around as a gossip talking point.
After puberty I regained more control as it were and buried my desires deep down and tried my best to be taken seriously as a man so it were. But that rumour would follow me everywhere, from 'friends' to work to university. All it took was to someone to know me and bang, I would be outed and then mocked by inference. I coped this a lot from friends; a lot of snide jokes, never direct but always referring to the thing I couldn't bring myself to talk about. In all I just couldn't seem to get away from it.
For me it was an open secret so everyone kind of knew, but still, I could say nothing. I was 'outed' numerous times and no one doing it ever gave a shit as to how it affected me. For the longest time I felt humiliated; I had a lot of anger and resentment in me. I felt it was such an invasion of privacy. Everywhere I went I felt under attack. And yet at the same time, all entirely alone.
I pursued things like bodybuilding and kickboxing. Still seems crazy to me that 18 months ago I was pulling 140Kg deadlift sets a few times a week. I regret it now because I still have too much muscle mass. Still, didn't matter what masculine pursuit I did and how strong and athletic I became, I never felt I was ever taken seriously as a man. I suppose I can't say I'm surprised.
What changed in the end was three things. 1. Pot/weed, it broke down my barriers of resistance and removed my inhibitions. 2. Independence, getting away from my parents and out on my own allowed me the opportunity to explore my feminine side as I kind of always wanted. 3. Fatigue, I just had enough in the end; no one was taking me that seriously as a man and I just didn't want to be one anyway.
So after finally going to see a gender therapist I decided I wanted to transition. Now after five months on hormones I basically want to get over to Thailand ASAP to get some cosmetic surgery done so I can get passable and get on with my life.
Sorry for the late reply but happy birthday
The good thing now is us slightly older trans women have the option of facial feminisation surgery if we need it (assuming you can afford it, which is another challenge in itself). So we can be grateful that the days of the pass/not pass lottery can be put behind us to an extent and age is much less a factor than it once was.
CHEEZMO
Obsidian fan
Well I've always been an ally, but have been increasingly thinking about stuff myself the last few years. I guess "genderfluid" (or whatever the term is) would be the best way to describe it.
CHEEZMO
Obsidian fan
You're free to talk to me, I'm apparently persuasive.
I decided to drop by IRC last night and annoy everyone. Guess you missed me!
Wow, we'll that puts any muscle building I ever did to complete shame.
2 year vid is great too: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MCEjCHb_-Qg She is beautiful no matter what stage she was at.
Edit: Also her reply to someone saying she had a great body as a boy is good too,:
Was introduced to this today by 2X and thought it was interesting: pronoun swappers for chrome browser.
Jailbreak the Patriarchy
Jailbreak the Binary
Jailbreak the Patriarchy
Jailbreak the Binary
Princess Viola
Member
Hey, is it possible to be transgender but not feel any real need to transition? Because I'm starting to feel that way. :\
Trans anxiety really is ridiculous. It's like ordinary anxiety x 1000. I didn't have contact with some close friends for about five months and I was thinking I'd been cut off. I decided to go over there with the intention of hopefully working things out and it turns out everything was fine. Played darts, smoked pot, played xbox like old times, it was cool. I'm such an idiot. On the plus side I'm feeling more happier and accepted than I think I ever have been
Sure, I felt that way for a long time before I realised I was actually transsexual. Transgender is an umbrella term that also incorporates groups like crossdressers for instance.
Sure, I felt that way for a long time before I realised I was actually transsexual. Transgender is an umbrella term that also incorporates groups like crossdressers for instance.
You can absolutely be trans and have no desire to transition. Like paile said, transgender as a term encompasses a range of gender expression.
I have gone back and forth about my own feelings and what I am, but I think that has more to do with a lack of proper guidance than anything else. From the beginning, I told myself not to rush my feelings, and to watch how it all develops. Over time, and after experiencing increasing dysphoria, I have more certainty about who I am. Labels can be helpful to a certain degree, but I think its important not to get too bogged down in them.
I have gone back and forth about my own feelings and what I am, but I think that has more to do with a lack of proper guidance than anything else. From the beginning, I told myself not to rush my feelings, and to watch how it all develops. Over time, and after experiencing increasing dysphoria, I have more certainty about who I am. Labels can be helpful to a certain degree, but I think its important not to get too bogged down in them.
Once I was on some kind of "TED Talk" like place and a non-op transgender women was talking.
When it ended, people asked questions ... and obviously a good amount of the people there were totaly oblivious of transgender stuff.
So one dude asked :
"When did you discovered that the body was not yours ?"
She looked at that dude like the way a lion looks at a zebra and said
"You asked how I discovered that the body was mine, but I only discovered myself as transgender* in the day that I discovered that the body IS mine, and I have all the right to do whatever I want with it"
And by "whatever you want with it" it CAN mean "my hairy manly body of a women"
Just be carefull if it is what you REALLY want and not some kind of denial phase, because then later you will feel kinda bad for "all the wasted time"
*
she actualy used the brazilian word "travesti" wich is best translated as "shemale" but more to not-op transgender women
I went back and forward for years (literally). For every desire I had to be female I could come up with a counter desire that it was all in my head. It was mental paralysis in the extreme. Sometimes you just need external guidance.
Are you seeing a gender therapist or some such? Doing that helped me break through the barrier of mental paralysis. I came to realise that I didn't just want to be a man that dresses as a women but rather I wanted to be a women. And still further, that I already am and always have been, just I don't look or act it fully yet.
Ive had counter desires that would appear for a short period of time, but I eventually found myself reverting back to my original feelings. There was a subconscious reversion, almost like my brain was telling me to stop it, and then it was based on asking myself, Why am I going against my feelings? And every time the answer centered on things/people outside of me; out of a fear of letting go and/or disappointing people. That's how I knew I wasn't being honest with myself.
Seeing a gender therapist is something that Ill hopefully be doing later in the year. Having that sort of external guidance would be really nice, and if I decided to medically transition, I would need to go see one anyway. I also have to tell my family about what I'm going through, which I havent yet. Between money issues and school (especially as I'm going to be transferring next year), I'm just not sure when exactly I'll get to see one.
This is true. All the things stopping me all ultimately revolved around one thing, fear of social disapproval. It was a battle and then some to convince family and friends but I think it's a battle I've won.