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[Princess Viola]

I won't have to deal with any high school age ignoramuses anymore.

I'm graduating early. So maybe I'll actually start to move forward.

 

[Dariee]

Transgender is the umbrella term.

Being transgender does not mean you want to be a transsexual. Being a gender queen may be more your speed. You'd still be transgender.

Could be, but not all the 'non-binary' is to be shared under a trans-umbrella per se, I'd say.

Depends of course whom you're asking.




(Sorry if interrupting any discussion/dialogue; not a frequent GAF-poster here!)

 

[PowderedToast]

.

 

[Nudull]

Really hope I'm not looking like a moron, lately. Anxiety's such a bother to deal with. :c

 

[iirate]

Went shopping with my friend today! Still not passing consistently and was totally in guy mode, but I was able to build enough confidence to use the women's dressing rooms! I Found some cute shoes, a couple of pairs of jeans, and a new purse/wallet. We're hitting some thrift stores tomorrow!

EDIT: Also, WTF HRT. I used to wear a men's 9-9 1/2, and shoe shopping yesterday taught me that I wear a women's 9 now...

 

[Mitsuho]

Was watching Boku wa Tomodatchi ga Sukunai (A.K.A. Haganai) and they tossed out

Spoiler

okama

in a derogatory way. So, watch out for it in S01E08.

 

[Platy]

Was watching Boku wa Tomodatchi ga Sukunai (A.K.A. Haganai) and the mazui version of episode 8 translated 'okama' as

Spoiler

shemale

. Big frown here. Even a fansub group should have an editor and a QC or two.

And I was thinking that "Trap" was bad

 

[Hitokage]

Was watching Boku wa Tomodatchi ga Sukunai (A.K.A. Haganai) and the mazui version of episode 8 translated 'okama' as

Spoiler

shemale

. Big frown here. Even a fansub group should have an editor and a QC or two.

First, Mazui usually lives up to their name. Second, "okama" isn't really a nice word to begin with, and much less so if it was applied to a TG/TS context.

 

[CHEEZMO™]

More people wearing lingerie is always a good thing.

 

[Platy]

http://www.lingerietalk.com/2012/03...st-lingerie-line-for-transgendered-women.html

First transgendered women lingerie line!

I ... didn't understood.

Is this just a bra with changeable padding ?

 

[Panthalassic]

Hi everyone! S. Bear Bergman is coming to my university today to give a lecture on gender <3 Ze held a workshop today too but I couldn't go because I had an exam.

I'm super excited though!

 

[Earthstrike]

http://www.lingerietalk.com/2012/03...st-lingerie-line-for-transgendered-women.html

First transgendered women lingerie line!

It looks pretty good, and I think the logo looks awesome.

 

[Emitan]

http://www.lingerietalk.com/2012/03...st-lingerie-line-for-transgendered-women.html

First transgendered women lingerie line!

Damn that's great.

 

[Amalthea]

Speaking of it, does anybody here tuck?

 

[fireside]

http://www.lingerietalk.com/2012/03...st-lingerie-line-for-transgendered-women.html

First transgendered women lingerie line!

Almost a year and you still can’t buy anything from them. I never would have thought lingerie vaporware would exist.

 

[Platy]

Speaking of it, does anybody here tuck?

Any girl here don't ?

 

[iirate]

Speaking of it, does anybody here tuck?

Mhmm, although it's been unreliable without my homemade tucking aid(the whole cut legging and panties thing). It's certainly easier with panties that are a size or so too small, but I like underwear that actually fits, damnit!

 

[InfiniteNine]

I don't but I never really tried to.

 

[Anastasia]

Almost a year and you still can’t buy anything from them. I never would have thought lingerie vaporware would exist.

Apparently the store was going to be available later in 2012. It's too bad; it seems like there is a real gap in the market for something like this. Their website is pretty snazzy though (NSFW?): http://www.chrysalislingerie.com/.

 

[Dr.Palutena]

Hi everyone! S. Bear Bergman is coming to my university today to give a lecture on gender <3 Ze held a workshop today too but I couldn't go because I had an exam.

I'm super excited though!

Cool Panny , Kate borestein (sp?) is coming to my campus later this month.

 

[Sibylus]

I'm blessed to have the parents that I do. Frisson. Frisson everywhere and in everything.

 

[Femmeworth]

Was watching Boku wa Tomodatchi ga Sukunai (A.K.A. Haganai) and the mazui version of episode 8 translated 'okama' as

Spoiler

shemale

. Big frown here. Even a fansub group should have an editor and a QC or two.

Even Crunchyroll has done that too or something similar, I believe. Though why you would expect respect in the context of anime is beyond me.

 

[Mitsuho]

Even Crunchyroll has done that too or something similar, I believe. Though why you would expect respect in the context of anime is beyond me.

In no venue absent total control can one expect respect. To do so is to limit the agency of all involved. Everything is problematic to some form to a sufficiently dissimilar person. Find it, acknowledge it, send off a few emails letting the origination party know of my tiny opinion, and move on.

 

[IceDoesntHelp]

Hey again everyone. I know its been awhile...I've had my hands full for the past few months.
1. I'm in a relationship that I'm...pretty happy with.
2. Job is getting stressful for me, and I'm not sure what to do about it. I'm going to start looking for a new job soon, hope to get a new one by the end of March.
3. Life is getting weird.

So lets see, where to start. I finally moved out of my parents house. The girl I'm dating is amazing, and I didn't think I could be happier with a girl, than I was...but then I start thinking about going on estrogen and what not. So I told her about how I feel like I was born in the wrong body, initially she smiled, and said she wanted to see me as a girl. After that she changed her mood to it, basically told me "You know if you want to go through with it, I'll be here...but we can't date. I think it would be weird/wrong"
So I just told her "Well I won't"
Starting yesterday, I've realized this isn't what I want...I feel incomplete, and I feel depressed in my body. I need to change it...but I don't want to lose her, cause I do love her.
Other than that, my mum seems to have forgotten I ever told her, and its never been brought up by my mum since we first talked. My girlfriend thinks I want to stay as a man, and hasn't brought it up for 3 months.

Well that's my life in the past 6 months in a nut shell. Sorry for being absent, I'll try to post more often now.

 

[Mitsuho]

I'm in a relationship that I'm...pretty happy with.

I've realized this isn't what I want...

I don't know what form your life weirdness and stressful job is taking but these things are a result, not a cause.

I'm glad to hear you have someone close to you who will be there for you while you move forward.

 

[Hitokage]

Even Crunchyroll has done that too or something similar, I believe. Though why you would expect respect in the context of anime is beyond me.

Um, if a character is being offensive in the original work it is not the job of a translator to clean up after him or her.

 

[Mitsuho]

Um, if a character is being offensive in the original work it is not the job of a translator to clean up after him or her.

I was only thinking that 'cross-dresser' or 'drag-queen' would still capture the intent and retain the derogatory nature of the remark when decoded in western society. The translator, and perhaps an editor, made the same choice not to use 'effeminate gay man' as being too poor a fit when looking through a dictionary or past translations.

 

[mollipen]

Um, if a character is being offensive in the original work it is not the job of a translator to clean up after him or her.

But it is the job of the translator to actually understand the usage of Japanese slang, and I've seen plenty of examples where that wasn't the case.

 

[Femmeworth]

Um, if a character is being offensive in the original work it is not the job of a translator to clean up after him or her.

I wasn't saying it was.

In no venue absent total control can one expect respect. To do so is to limit the agency of all involved. Everything is problematic to some form to a sufficiently dissimilar person. Find it, acknowledge it, send off a few emails letting the origination party know of my tiny opinion, and move on.

You're right, I was being dismissive.

 

[Mitsuho]

You're right, I was being dismissive.

I appreciate you, thanks.

It's quite the ideal to have everyone willing to approach everything as a new concept with depth and worth. Stereotypes are easy mode.

 

[Hitokage]

But it is the job of the translator to actually understand the usage of Japanese slang, and I've seen plenty of examples where that wasn't the case.

Fair enough. I can only speak generally because Mitsuho has neglected to provide context to the complaint.

 

[mollipen]

Fair enough. I can only speak generally because Mitsuho has neglected to provide context to the complaint.

The examples Mitsuho brought up was "okama", and I've certainly had issues with the way some fansub groups have translated that. I feel like there was an example in Hourou Musuko like that, but I can't recall if it was okama or another world. Or maybe it wasn't that series, but something else—that's the only one I can remember watching at any point lately that would've had a word like that. *heh*

I can't say offhand if I've seen issues with those kinds of words in professionally-translated anime, but part of that is because I haven't watched much from actual English-language publishers in any recent year that would have featured such language.

 

[Hitokage]

The examples Mitsuho brought up was "okama"...

Context is everything. Simply knowing the word isn't enough.

 

[mollipen]

Context is everything. Simply knowing the word isn't enough.

Right, which is why I noted that I had a problem with the way various groups have handled translating that word. I don't know the exacts of the example Mitsuho brought up, but that's an example of a term that has gotten horribly handled on more than one occasion.

 

[Mitsuho]

Boku no Tomodachi ga Tsukunai, Season 1, Episode 8. Around 6:50.
I wouldn't trust what I write as an unbiased narration.

&#22793;&#12394;&#34220;&#12434;&#39135;&#12409;&#12425;&#12428;&#12373;&#12379;&#12383;&#26178;&#12399;&#12371;&#12398;&#12458;&#12459;&#12510;&#37326;&#37070;&#65288;&#12385;&#12423;&#20999;&#12387;&#12390;&#65289;&#12420;&#12427;&#12392;&#31070;&#12395;&#35475;&#12387;&#12383;&#12369;&#12393;&#20170;&#12399;&#36949;&#12358;&#12398;&#12384;&#12290;&#26377;&#38627;&#12358;&#12394;&#12540;&#24184;&#26449;&#12290;I'm not sure about the chokite, chogite part. Cut cigar?

Yukimura Kusunoki, with his fascination for manliness and assertions that he's a man, views Kodaka Hasegawa as a mentor in masculinity in emulation of the yakusa/bushido style. Going over the top in following his aniki's commands to provide Maria with proper nutrition he significantly oversteps in his treatment of Maria Takayama and Maria expresses her displeasure to the club later in the presence of the Yukimura.

(As an aside, I haven't read the Manga yet so I can't make the call between effeminate man, trans man, or 'Raised as the Opposite Gender' trope.)

 

[paile]

After that she changed her mood to it, basically told me "You know if you want to go through with it, I'll be here...but we can't date. I think it would be weird/wrong"
So I just told her "Well I won't"
Starting yesterday, I've realized this isn't what I want...I feel incomplete, and I feel depressed in my body. I need to change it...but I don't want to lose her, cause I do love her.

Don't even. You need to love yourself first before anyone. You come first, period. Trust me when I say this but if you don't be true to yourself, whomever you may be, then years of misery and internal torment await you. It's not a place you want to be.

Other than that, my mum seems to have forgotten I ever told her, and its never been brought up by my mum since we first talked. My girlfriend thinks I want to stay as a man, and hasn't brought it up for 3 months.

I had the same crap pulled on me. It's rather annoying that you go through the difficult process of finally working up the courage to tell people and afterwards they go through the "let's not say anything and hope he forgets about it" phase. If you're trans and these feelings are persisting then you're going to need to 'come out' again, and make it stick.

 

[Hop]

I had the same crap pulled on me. It's rather annoying that you go through the difficult process of finally working up the courage to tell people and afterwards they go through the "let's not say anything and hope he forgets about it" phase. If you're trans and these feelings are persisting then you're going to need to 'come out' again, and make it stick.

Yea, I had to "re-come-out" to my parents (I posted about the whole thing in this thread, back in November/December). Just as hard as the first time, and completely unnecessary- my parents clearly didn't (and still haven't) made any effort to actually try and understand, much less accept me. They'll probably still think it's just a phase after I'm legally Zoe.

But at least I'm doing well enough on being independent. Not all the way there yet, but it's progress. So at least when I do cut them out of my life, I'll be in the strong position if they want me to come back. I'm not living on their terms ever again. I suppose that's our biggest challenge- knowing what "living on my own terms" means for you, and having the courage to stick to your guns no matter what it costs.

 

[Emitan]

Birthday is today and my mom called me an "old man". I yelled at her and later she thought I was mad because she called me old.

...

 

[paile]

They'll probably still think it's just a phase after I'm legally Zoe.

Ha cute, Zoe will be my name too actually I went through a few (Sasha, Chloie, Abby) but Zoe was the only one that resonated with me. My guy name is Scott and people often use Scotty so that to Zoe works phonetically. Everyone I've told likes it, bar my mother. But there is no name I could of picked that she would have liked anyway.

So at least when I do cut them out of my life, I'll be in the strong position if they want me to come back. I'm not living on their terms ever again. I suppose that's our biggest challenge- knowing what "living on my own terms" means for you, and having the courage to stick to your guns no matter what it costs.

You just have to. When the whole world is against you and the only one who believes in you is you? And you stick to your beliefs because you know it in your core, whatever the cost? That's the making of you. The vast majority of the world will happily go with the sheepish flow of 'normality', they'll never know or risk anything different. What we have, where we have to 'earn' our gender? In my pessimistic moments I see it as a curse, in my optimistic moments I see it as a gift.

I know for certain that what I've been through will only make me a stronger, better person when all is said and done. That's what I fight for, that's the means to the end for me. To learn who I am really. I can't wait.

Birthday is today and my mom called me an "old man". I yelled at her and later she thought I was mad because she called me old.

I'm Australian so I suppose you know of this country's obsession with the word mate as part of the vernacular? I don't like being called it. 'Sir' is another thing that I don't like. Notice how there's no special terms for women really except for the very rarely used ma'am or madam? But for males? Dude, bro, mate, sir, man...the list is endless.

My father also called me 'son' on Christmas Day. That right shit me for a few days. I think I've lost count with how many times I've had to 'come out' with them.

 

[Hop]

Ha cute, Zoe will be my name too actually I went through a few (Sasha, Chloie, Abby) but Zoe was the only one that resonated with me. My guy name is Scott and people often use Scotty so that to Zoe works phonetically. Everyone I've told likes it, bar my mother. But there is no name I could of picked that she would have liked anyway.

Zoes... Zoes everywhere! :O

I could go on about names forever, it's really a fascinating topic to me. It was also tough for me to get 'right'; I was considering two other first names (Laura, then Sarah) that never felt exactly right. I'm going pretty far off my birth name, outside of scale (it's still 2-2-2 syllables). Different etymologies, different vowel sound sequence, even different stresses on the middle name.

But yea, my parents don't care for it obviously. They found out 'cause it's what I have for my Google profile (because, fuck you, it's who I am) and they were just totally incredulous about it. Maybe 'cause I'm changing my last name too.

You just have to. When the whole world is against you and the only one who believes in you is you? And you stick to your beliefs because you know it in your core, whatever the cost? That's the making of you. The vast majority of the world will happily go with the sheepish flow of 'normality', they'll never know or risk anything different. What we have, where we have to 'earn' our gender? In my pessimistic moments I see it as a curse, in my optimistic moments I see it as a gift.

I know for certain that what I've been through will only make me a stronger, better person when all is said and done. That's what I fight for, that's the means to the end for me. To learn who I am really. I can't wait.

I've said it to a few people now- I wouldn't wish being trans on anyone, but I wouldn't wish I were normal. It's a considerable trial to go through, but once you come to accept that you can define and redefine who you are, no matter what sort of rules might've been laid out for you ahead of time, it totally changes your worldview. You don't take much for granted, you're not satisfied with convention, you don't find yourself accepting things just "are the way they are". If I can declare that I Am Woman, I can declare that I Am Anything, and I just need to embrace it and own it all the same. It's an immense challenge, and it takes a courage we don't always have, but it's something anyone can do and we must do. So many people can't do any of that, they just go by You Are. And if anyone tries to You Are us, they're gonna get it wrong. (Makes you wonder if they ever get it right.) So for all the challenges, all the loss, all the depression... to actually know and experience and express that self-actualization, that genuine and fearless identity... it's worth it all.



...Holy hell, can I ramble.

 

[yeoz]

Birthday is today and my mom called me an "old man". I yelled at her and later she thought I was mad because she called me old.
...

Keep correcting her, and eventually she''ll get it. There's no use being angry, Em. It's a big and difficult change. Just be patient with her.

Zoes... Zoes everywhere! :O

Spoiler

yeoz is zoey backwards.

 

[lexi]

Spoiler

yeoz is zoey backwards.

Mind blown.

 

[iirate]

Mind blown.

Yep. That.

 

[MikeDip]

I love the name Zoe/Zoey. It's my top choice if I ever have a girl.

 

[iirate]

Uh. so I met three new friends in boy mode and it completely failed with all of them. I pretty much had to come out because none of them bought that I was a guy. Now I have three people in my life that don't have to struggle to see a girl when they look at me, and it's pretty much the greatest feeling I've ever known, no hyperbole.

I actually feel bad about my other relationships now, because I love my other friends so much, but the damage that years of repression has done to them feels even more noticeable now that I actually have something different to measure it against.

I guess it never really hit me until this week that I'd actually obtain passing privilege, or that it could be this easy; that a girl in boys clothes with beard stubble would suddenly find it so hard to pass as male. This isn't a scenario I ever really imagined for myself, so I'm sort of scrambling to figure out how to handle it...

 

[Platy]

Relax Lin .... relax

I actually feel bad about my other relationships now, because I love my other friends so much, but the damage that years of repression has done to them feels even more noticeable now that I actually have something different to measure it against.

I guess it never really hit me until this week that I'd actually obtain passing privilege, or that it could be this easy; that a girl in boys clothes with beard stubble would suddenly find it so hard to pass as male. This isn't a scenario I ever really imagined for myself, so I'm sort of scrambling to figure out how to handle it...

Society makes passing the most hard thing ever, which is not that hard.
There are men and women from all sizes and shapes .... so why not ? =P

I suggest you to handle as it goes ... or else your mind will be going all "OMFG I CAN'T WAIT TO PASS WITH A FULL BEARD" and you will at best self sabotage yourself =P

Also, when the old relationships start doing the same it will be better than this new one, since will be people that you care.

 

[iirate]

Handle it in what way? Safety? Privacy? If you're unwilling to go full time and come out to everyone you know that would suggest that you're still using boy mode for practical reasons - in other words, because you currently can't.

Try wearing more baggy clothes while in boy mode. It could help. Also try to concoct a boyish walk too. Don't walk womanly in boy mode. Too much attention. At the very least, women who dress like guys are common. Use this to your advantage.

More than anything though is the suggestion to start working on legally changing your name due to this. Do not put it off. You will start to pass more and more in boy mode and you don't want that, as much as it makes you feel good. Looking like a girl while in boy made makes you a huge target. For that reason work on your name and drivers license sex marker. If you get in trouble with police, we don't want to hear you were harassed. Or hell, even getting a drink at a club or a store that requires ID.

Work on that.

NOW!

Sorry, I was exhausted when I wrote that, and I don't think you completely understood or know my situation. I'm not looking to "dude-up" or stay in guy mode longer than I have to. I'm actually in the process of coming out at work right now(to the point where I've personally spoken to nearly everyone about my transition, and all that's left is to talk to my manager and supervisor and finalize my plans).

Once that's done, I'm calling my dad and telling him - at that point, I'll be completely out and boy mode will be behind me. Changing my name is a priority right now, and changing my gender marker is out of the question since I live in Texas ATM.

This caught me off guard because originally, I was socially transitioning without regard for how likely I was to be clocked or not(meaning I wasn't expecting any passing privilege). However, seemingly overnight, strangers now gender me female waaaay more often than they used to. I never expected for this to happen before I socially transitioned, or even immediately after.

What I am having trouble "handling" is reconciling the damage that me being trans has done to my relationships up to this point. My old friends have been super respectful and supportive, but most/all of them still see a dude, at least as far as I can tell. It's not something that they can help, and I understand that, but suddenly, I have friends that don't have to do mental gymnastics to accept me how I am.

It has suddenly made a dull pain from my older friendships a bit sharper.

Relax Lin .... relax



Society makes passing the most hard thing ever, which is not that hard.
There are men and women from all sizes and shapes .... so why not ? =P

I suggest you to handle as it goes ... or else your mind will be going all "OMFG I CAN'T WAIT TO PASS WITH A FULL BEARD" and you will at best self sabotage yourself =P

Also, when the old relationships start doing the same it will be better than this new one, since will be people that you care.

I hope that you're right, and eventually my old friends will stop struggling so much with it.

 

[Emitan]

Was at work today just to check my schedule and I heard someone say "ma'am" in my general direction and I turned around. Oops :x

 

[Emitan]

Aren't you not on hormones? Are you presenting female?

No. They were talking to someone else.

 

[Anastasia]

Why would you think...they were talking to you then? I mean, aside from being an attention whore?

I know this question wasn’t addressed to me, but I’ve had a similar experience, even though I wasn’t presenting as a female. I think it can be easy to forget what your external presentation is sometimes, because what is going on in your brain is so strong and clear to you. And then you react to some one or some thing, before you remember, "Oh right ... ." That's what happened to me at least.