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Transgaf: 'cause boys will be girls (and vice versa)

A

Anastasia

Member
Happy anniversary!

I'm really thankful that this community exists, and for all the wonderful advice that has been given out in this thread. I haven't posted in here that much, mostly because for a long time I was unable to, but I just want to thank you all for being the most awesome trans community on the internet. ^^
 
D

Dai101

Banned
lexi said:
Happy 3rd anniversary TransGAF!
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s9FzW16.jpg
 
M

mollipen

Member
SHHHH! Don't get us exiled to there! The extra exposure we get from being in the regular OT helps people who would never usually consider the trans topic walk in here, start reading, and learn something.

Also, happy birthday thread! Thanks for making me feel old(er)!
 
A

Android18a

Member
SO I was a pretty heavy poster here at the beginning. I've kind of settled where I am now... living in my own place as a guy with my bf, and we just both crossdress as and when we feel like it. Kinda content with that :)
 
H

Hop

That girl in the bunny hat
Wow I've been on GAF for ages. Don't know that I really like those reminders. x_x

So this came up with my therapist today, do I change my name and info like that before moving to Oregon, or after? I should really look at that.
 
F

fireside

Member
Hop said:
Wow I've been on GAF for ages. Don't know that I really like those reminders. x_x

So this came up with my therapist today, do I change my name and info like that before moving to Oregon, or after? I should really look at that.
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You should see which state has easier requirements for name changes and gender marker changes. Either way, you need to be a resident of the state you want to change your name and stuff in, and that's usually a year of living there.
 
I

iirate

Member
I can't believe it has only been 3 years.

When I first entered this thread, I knew nothing about trans people(well, aside from my own, seriously confused experiences). This thread peaked my curiosity and gave me a new appreciation for trans issues, and then a few months later, I met an openly trans woman and finally realized that transitioning was a real option in my life. This thread was sort of the start of me learning to accept myself.

My first post in this thread was my first coming out to ANYONE(I told my roommate later that day while shaking and crying uncontrollably).

Today, I'm 7 months into HRT, part-time presenting as female, surrounded by awesome and completely supportive friends, and happier than ever. I can't believe it has only been 3 years.
 
H

Hop

That girl in the bunny hat
fireside said:
You should see which state has easier requirements for name changes and gender marker changes. Either way, you need to be a resident of the state you want to change your name and stuff in, and that's usually a year of living there.
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It looks like it's pretty much a wash, honestly. From a quick googling it doesn't look like you need the surgery in either state to change it, just therapist/physician backing, and name change is just a court proceeding either way (I don't even see anything about a year requirement).

I guess it goes back to that hesitation about whether or not I actually pass, if I'm ready to do it or not. :/
 
M

mollipen

Member
lexi said:
I remember you although it's hard to keep track, I can't remember heaps of details about y'all.
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I know how you feel. I'm so bad at remembering details about people it's shameful.

User name changes are the worst! If you keep your old avatar, then great. But when you change both your name and your avatar, then you're pretty much saying, "Hey, shidoshi, please totally forget who I am as a person!" *hrmph*
 
H

Hop

That girl in the bunny hat
shidoshi said:
I know how you feel. I'm so bad at remembering details about people it's shameful.

User name changes are the worst! If you keep your old avatar, then great. But when you change both your name and your avatar, then you're pretty much saying, "Hey, shidoshi, please totally forget who I am as a person!" *hrmph*
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>_>
 
F

fireside

Member
Hop said:
It looks like it's pretty much a wash, honestly. From a quick googling it doesn't look like you need the surgery in either state to change it, just therapist/physician backing, and name change is just a court proceeding either way (I don't even see anything about a year requirement).

I guess it goes back to that hesitation about whether or not I actually pass, if I'm ready to do it or not. :/
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Really? I know that where I live you need to be a resident of the state and county you're getting your name changed in, I'd imagine that would be the case for other states (seems like it'd be too easy to abuse otherwise...). Maybe the requirement isn't necessarily a year? I see one court form for getting your name changed in Oregon that explicitly states you must be a resident of Oregon and the county you're getting the name change in.

Tashbrooke said:
I dont know why I'm in this thread...but can somebody explain this to me..?
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Cis girl thinks telling the trans girl "never would have guessed you were a man" and "you look real" is a nice thing to say when in fact they are insulting.
 
H

Hop

That girl in the bunny hat
fireside said:
Really? I know that where I live you need to be a resident of the state and county you're getting your name changed in, I'd imagine that would be the case for other states (seems like it'd be too easy to abuse otherwise...). Maybe the requirement isn't necessarily a year? I see one court form for getting your name changed in Oregon that explicitly states you must be a resident of Oregon and the county you're getting the name change in.
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Yea, everything I saw just says you have to live there. Unless they implicitly mean live there for a year.
 
F

fireside

Member
Hop said:
Yea, everything I saw just says you have to live there. Unless they implicitly mean live there for a year.
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http://www.oregon.gov/ODOT/DMV/Pages/driverid/residency.aspx

Residency may be established by a number of actions, described in the list below and in ORS 803.200 and ORS 807.062. Once you have become a resident of Oregon, you are required by Oregon law to obtain Oregon vehicle title and registration and to obtain an Oregon Driver License or Instruction Permit. Failure to register a vehicle once residency has been established is a Class D traffic violation. Failure to obtain an Oregon Driver License or Instruction Permit once residency has been established is a Class B traffic violation.

If you are uncertain whether you qualify for an Oregon Driver License, ID Card, or Oregon Vehicle Registration, ask yourself the following questions:
Do I remain in Oregon for a consecutive period of six months or more each year?
Have I enrolled my children in an Oregon public school without payment of nonresident tuition fees?
Do I pay Oregon resident tuition fees at an educational institution maintained by public funds?
Have I made a declaration to be a resident of Oregon for the purpose of obtaining, at resident rates, a state license (other than an Oregon Driver License)?
Is Oregon listed as my home of record in my military records?
Do I pay resident income taxes to the state of Oregon?
If you answered "yes" to any of the above, you may be eligible to register your vehicle in Oregon and/or obtain an Oregon driving privilege or Identification Card.
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A

angelfly

Member
Approaching the end of month three of hormones. Don't notice any physical changes but the psychological changes are pretty apparent as I just seem to be a lot calmer lately. Also no matter how much I read about it the breast sensitivity is something I wasn't prepared for. Even small accidental bumps hurt like hell.
 
N

Nudull

Banned
A fine congrats and thanks to the lot of you who's given help to me and others over the years. Can't say that things have gotten much better for me, but I know I have you all to turn to. :)
 
P

Platy

Member
angelfly said:
Approaching the end of month three of hormones. Don't notice any physical changes but the psychological changes are pretty apparent as I just seem to be a lot calmer lately. Also no matter how much I read about it the breast sensitivity is something I wasn't prepared for. Even small accidental bumps hurt like hell.
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Be carefull, too much sensivity usualy is related to high prolactine levels wich is not good... don't forget to tell your endo next time you see
 
B

Brian Griffin

Member
krypt0nian said:
Today's episode of Katie had a really excellent feature this morning on Trans kids. They should have it up online tonight.

http://www.katiecouric.com/on-the-s...d-in-the-wrong-body-growing-up-transgender-2/
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That was a great show, thanks for posting it or I never would have seen it.

I like that it was emphasized that it isn't just one instance of a kid saying "I'm a girl/boy!" and then off to the doctor to block puberty and make a transition plan. The fact that it's a pattern of behaviors that can persist for years that prompts the question of whether a kid is trans or not seems to be lost on many people not familiar with the subject.

Also, YAY on 3 years!
 
H

Hop

That girl in the bunny hat
Brian Griffin said:
That was a great show, thanks for posting it or I never would have seen it.

I like that it was emphasized that it isn't just one instance of a kid saying "I'm a girl/boy!" and then off to the doctor to block puberty and make a transition plan. The fact that it's a pattern of behaviors that can persist for years that prompts the question of whether a kid is trans or not seems to be lost on many people not familiar with the subject.
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Yea. It'd only help to mention that the pattern of behavior can easily be a pattern of suppressed behavior, like it was for me. ....Often suppressed by the parents. :/
 
D

Dr.Palutena

Member
Hop said:
Yea. It'd only help to mention that the pattern of behavior can easily be a pattern of suppressed behavior, like it was for me. ....Often suppressed by the parents. :/
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This is why I hate the "Children say this all the time , it's nothing" angle some take. NO , I was told it was nothing, or that I shouldnt act a certain way, that didnt make it nothing or a phase and no one calls out parents enforcing normative gender roles and identities ,but when it's a trans kid with accepting parents it becomes "OMG THOSE TERRIBLE HIPPIE POLITICAL PARENTS FORCING CRAP ON THEIR CHILDREN, WHY CANT KIDS BE KIDS".
 
H

Hop

That girl in the bunny hat
Question, I was talking about the name change and just realized this. When it comes to "authorized users" on credit cards... can you just give any name? Like, they don't check or care at all, right? 'Cause then I should really just get new cards with my female name on them, have one less case where my male name may be exposed.
 
Y

yeoz

Member
Nudull said:
A fine congrats and thanks to the lot of you who's given help to me and others over the years. Can't say that things have gotten much better for me, but I know I have you all to turn to. :)
Click to expand...
*hug*

Hop said:
Question, I was talking about the name change and just realized this. When it comes to "authorized users" on credit cards... can you just give any name? Like, they don't check or care at all, right? 'Cause then I should really just get new cards with my female name on them, have one less case where my male name may be exposed.
Click to expand...
They don't check. I have credit cards under various names. Most banks will ask for a social security number though.

That said, unless you have ID that matches the name you're using on the card, you can and will run into problems.
 
B

botty

Banned
Hi, trans gaf.

I was suggested to come here by these two girls, due to a question I had concerning the "trans bathroom" argument.

To anyone who is transgendered, do you think the idea of a trans bathroom could provide a safe/comfortable place for transgendered students? Of course the use of the bathroom would be optional, but it would be readily available for any trans student who doesn't feel secure using a bathroom of their intended sex just yet. Again, it's optional... so it's a choice.

I'm also curious about what it might have been like to be a trans student and have to deal with the social issues that comes with using a public bathroom. So if any of you might care to enlighten me, I would appreciate it.
 
A

Amalthea

Banned
I have to use the wheelchair-enabled toilet at work because of the whole toiletroom transphobia. It feels slightly discriminating but I'm not complaining though because if I'd bitch enough they'd surely let me use the female room. But the wheelie one has it's own sink and mirror for me alone so I stick with it. ;P

But for younger kids it's totally sensless. What seven years old trans could be a mass rapist?
We had swimming lessons in the 1st grade where we were together in the changing room. I felt more secure with my female friends. When we had to use the adult changing rooms starting at the 2nd grade we were seperated by sex but I was so afraid to be raped by an adult man that I always sneaked into the womens room to shower and change clothes (I was saying that I were here with my mom as an explication).
 
I

iirate

Member
botty said:
Hi, trans gaf.

I was suggested to come here by these two girls, due to a question I had concerning the "trans bathroom" argument.

To anyone who is transgendered, do you think the idea of a trans bathroom could provide a safe/comfortable place for transgendered students? Of course the use of the bathroom would be optional, but it would be readily available for any trans student who doesn't feel secure using a bathroom of their intended sex just yet. Again, it's optional... so it's a choice.

I'm also curious about what it might have been like to be a trans student and have to deal with the social issues that comes with using a public bathroom. So if any of you might care to enlighten me, I would appreciate it.
Click to expand...

There's nothing a trans bathroom would solve that gender neutral bathrooms wouldn't. I'm not speaking for the abolishment of gendered bathrooms either, but the presence of both(like my university has) couldn't hurt. Creating a bathroom just for one small group of people feels like othering, no matter the intention.

I'm not a student atm, but any gendered public space or situation can create a lot of distress still. I've used women's fitting rooms, which are a little more private, but I pretty much avoid any gendered public restroom these days, even if it means holding my pee all day. Like, there's the fact that I'm gendered female the vast majority of the time, so the guy's room doesn't feel completely safe anymore, but going into the women's room and getting clocked is still terrifying. A trans guy friend of mine was on the phone crying outside of the men's room before the first time he used one. My first acid trip went REALLY bad right after encountering gendered restrooms under some unfortunate circumstances. It just... sucks.
 
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