So go with the (bro) flow? Even without any relationship beyond friendship, you can still enjoy his company and your time together. Some of history's greatest and most fruitful friendships have persevered on that basis.
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Transgaf: 'cause boys will be girls (and vice versa)
- Thread starter lexi
- Start date
rocketknight
Member
Biologically sexed male, which isn't synonymous with being a guy, a man, or a boy. While we're on facts of life, sex and gender can and occasionally do diverge.
Cisguy advice incoming
I think that combined impact of having your first gay attraction and them trans at the same time will always lead to a lot of thoughts that will take time to process. However, I would say don't over think it. If you are attracted to him, then that is great! If he is not wanting more than friendship then there is no rush to sort out your feelings, just keep on being friends. If you do end up in friends with benefits situation, just go with the flow. If it doesn't feel right being with a man, then you don't have to be. Just be honest and communicate if there is a likelihood of intimacy.
Except biology, much like gender, isn't binary. It's starting to seem that many trans people are biologically intersexed from birth(in the sense of having a brain that is closer biologically to their identified gender than their assigned one). Having a male body does not necessarily make you male.
Furthermore, a trans person that has begun HRT is certainly no longer entirely of their assigned sex in many ways, and by many metrics would be considered much closer to their identified sex than their assigned one.
Platy's post had nothing to do with you, though. You stated that you disliked her statement, which wasn't about you, but another trans person. I'm just pointing out that what Platy said isn't wrong; I'd argue that you aren't necessarily incorrect, either, but that it's a complicated situation that can be answered in a myriad of different ways by different people.
I think it helps to be a little more conducive to helping people understand trans issues. Those comics rub me the wrong way -- trans people who are offended by remarks undoubtedly have the right to be offended, but are we (as in us, in this thread, right now) really being offended by a guy who is trying to keep an open mind asking questions on the internet about things he is genuinely confused about and wishes to learn more? These comics seem to legitimize universally lashing out against people who are uninformed about trans issues and unaware of proper etiquette with trans people, and that's not cool.
I was just explaining how it is completly normal to think something is not hurtful and it is because my post was entirely an answer to "you think I don't respect trans people, which is not the case, I'm really supportive" and I was saying how being really suportive usualy means do wrong things =P
We are the kind of minority that reads positive news about us like "Transphobic hater goes to jail. Lots of the trannies in the court celebrated the victory. Mary was specialy happy about it, he said : 'yay' " =P
I was talking simply in a gender way, because unless you are studing genetics or something like this, biological sex DON'T MATTER to humans.
The only people who talk about biological sex are the ones that usualy want to dismiss trans people ... because that is basicaly the ONLY moment of their lifes they will think in sex instead of gender.
The default is "avoid genitals unless specialy said something"
How much each trans person is confortable with their genitals varies greatly from people to people and from transition stage to transition stage ....but there are much more trans people who hate to even remember it is there than people who don't
Princess Viola
Member
how does everybody feel about trans* people taking derogatory terms like shemale and using it is a way of "empowerment"?
Dr.Palutena
Member
I don't see why one would want to put up the effort personally , plus then you get that annoying "oh we can say it, but you can't "------> majority group angry they can't use words and crying of reverse-discrimination stuff that happens with the two variants of the N-word . I mean by all means people are welcome to try but I will have no part .
Princess Viola
Member
I have to agree with you on that front, but on the other hand, I will admit I do sometimes refer to myself as being a "lyin' tranny".
Princess Viola
Member
Yeah, I think I should to, but otoh, is there really harm in doing it privately with friends?
I kind of hypocritical on this one, because while I've done a lot of talking about the word "trap" and why it can be a very negative term, I've also used it to refer to myself before and have no problem doing so.
For example, I used to have the word in my Twitter profile, but then decided to remove it because I thought it didn't show a good example to be up on stage at panels saying how it was an insulting term, and then to be using it like that.
alysonwheel
Member
I've been known to throw "tranny" around among friends. It's one of those "we can say it, you can't" things imo.
Worth remembering with terms like "shemale" that many transgender people in non-Western countries choose terms like that for themselves in preference to calling themselves trans women or similar, so I'm not really comfortable with labelling it a word that must never be uttered.
It varies from word to word ...
Terms like Shemale, Trap and Ladyboy I think they are INSANELY problematic because they mean that we are NOT from the gender we are in their basic sense.
Words like tranny can happen ... but I am not particularly a fan.
Princess Viola
Member
This might seem a bit weird, but I have no problem referring to myself as a trap. Of course, I only refer to myself as one in private conversations with close friends, so no real harm done, right?
It probably just because you are in the otaku world your entire life, so the word kinda lost its meaning to you because of overuse ....
Also because it is not a bad word all the time ... there are lots of anime examples that fit PERFECTLY with the idea behind it (evil crosdressing cismales) ... the problem is when it is used for transwomen
Also because it is not a bad word all the time ... there are lots of anime examples that fit PERFECTLY with the idea behind it (evil crosdressing cismales) ... the problem is when it is used for transwomen
Well, it also has to be appreciated that "trap" has also become Internet slang for younger boys/guys who like dressing up as girls, but who may or may not be transgender. Sort of like the "otokonoko" term in Japan.
In that sense, it's a term that is often used by the people themselves, and it's become slang that doesn't necessarily have a negative connotations in a number of circles.
As I said before, I've talked many times at our panels on the word, and why it can be so negative/offensive. However, I also think it's a great example of the reality of life: that words themselves are no exactly offensive, it's the intention behind them that is.
In that sense, it's a term that is often used by the people themselves, and it's become slang that doesn't necessarily have a negative connotations in a number of circles.
As I said before, I've talked many times at our panels on the word, and why it can be so negative/offensive. However, I also think it's a great example of the reality of life: that words themselves are no exactly offensive, it's the intention behind them that is.
Dr.Palutena
Member
While partially true, it's never really that easy. For one, people tend to generalize and make one person representative to how they should treat or think of all of a certain group, even more so if it's likely you are their sole or one of their few interactions with this group. From your perspective these are things you know aren't ok with most trans* people but are ok with, but from your friends perspective it may be "I guess this is what all/most trans* people feel about these things". If they come in contact then with a trans person not so cool with "tranny" or "trap" and the trans* person doesn't act so ok with it or attempt to explain why these words are hurtful for them , your friends may be resistant and simply think "Man, this trans* person is uptight and mean, unlike my cool friend Aiko" . Additionally, while you are ok and buddy buddy in regards to saying some things, there are probably some lines and perceptions you wouldn't want them to cross, which subconsciously or unintentionally may be assumed are ok by allowing certain words and things to be said. So the only potential harm may just be that you are doing your friends a disservice if they ever do come into contact or have to percieve things about trans* people on a wider scale. But the solution to this doesnt have to be curbing your language so much as making clear that everything that is happening and being said represents you and not everyone else, also perhaps to make clear where boundaries lie.
Also there is this.
Messofanego
Banned
Has anyone read the Bethany Black blog about coming out as trans 13 years ago? And now she's "Britain's only goth, lesbian, transexual comedian" lol
Bethany Black: They call it climbing and we call it visibility
The bit about bigots is gold.
Bethany Black: They call it climbing and we call it visibility
The bit about bigots is gold.
Princess Viola
Member
So, I called my parents to let them know about the job I got in Portland and to talk about logistics and all that.
Apparently my entire family hates me because I'm trans. And they think I've been rash with the whole thing when I don't bring it up in order to avoid hurting them. And they think any psychiatrist who diagnoses me as trans is a quack. And they think I'm intentionally burdening them and avoiding responsibility that was never offered to me in the first place. And they figured for the longest time that I was gay, so why can't I just be a gay guy that does drag.
And I need so much fucking chocolate right now. x_x
Apparently my entire family hates me because I'm trans. And they think I've been rash with the whole thing when I don't bring it up in order to avoid hurting them. And they think any psychiatrist who diagnoses me as trans is a quack. And they think I'm intentionally burdening them and avoiding responsibility that was never offered to me in the first place. And they figured for the longest time that I was gay, so why can't I just be a gay guy that does drag.
And I need so much fucking chocolate right now. x_x
I don't know what you're referencing D:
Portland is 3,000 miles away. I'll be far enough.
New Dawn at ABC
Actually not that bad of an article, coming from NY Post. Happy to see more and more positive public exposure of trans people!
Actually not that bad of an article, coming from NY Post. Happy to see more and more positive public exposure of trans people!
Don't ever click on a download button without checking if the url that appears in the botton starts with the same site as the one you are in
Also, avoid forcing the identity of someone because the person is the only who can say for real who she/he is
Gender and sex have completly diferent meanings and neither are related to sexual orientation
If a feminist shows any kind of transphobic comments (including any kind of misgender of a transgender person) she is an asshole of feminist
Cisgender means the opposite of transgender, and since transgender person cannot stop being transgender, cisgender people don't have an option of NOT being cisgender and "just be normal"
If a feminist shows any kind of transphobic comments (including any kind of misgender of a transgender person) she is an asshole of feminist
Cisgender means the opposite of transgender, and since transgender person cannot stop being transgender, cisgender people don't have an option of NOT being cisgender and "just be normal"
Never eat cheese before noon.
No ... chemistry is awesome and cis isomers and trans isomers have equal importance.
Trans isomers don't even need any medic to tell then they are trully the elements they are.... there is no cischemistryism bullshit here
Breakfast cheese is the best cheese. There is nothing like starting the day off with a nice chunk of Havarti or Bree.
Cis isomers get well lairy because even though it's easier for them to become cis kinetically, they will ultimately ALWAYS revert into their trans form.
Woah.
ComputerMKII
Banned
Transsexual comments her own video game superplay:
http://www.jeuxvideo.com/chroniques-video/0004/00043856/speed-game-mushihimesama-hd-xbox-360-superplay-du-jeu-00112773.htm
Edit: I might as well post a link to her Youtube channel: http://www.youtube.com/user/Touindin
http://www.jeuxvideo.com/chroniques-video/0004/00043856/speed-game-mushihimesama-hd-xbox-360-superplay-du-jeu-00112773.htm
Edit: I might as well post a link to her Youtube channel: http://www.youtube.com/user/Touindin
ComputerMKII
Banned
She's playing live right now: http://www.twitch.tv/damdamlive
Hey guys, ive been trying for a while to get my gf(mtf) to save up money for the eventual transition, but ive run into two huge problems
1) not nearly enough money
2) shes horrified of starting and changing her body
Ive been thinking of taking her to a type of seminar at a university near by that teaches kind of how to deal with it all, but im wondering if you guys have any suggestion on either fronts. Is there some type of aid we can get both monetary and psychologically?
1) not nearly enough money
2) shes horrified of starting and changing her body
Ive been thinking of taking her to a type of seminar at a university near by that teaches kind of how to deal with it all, but im wondering if you guys have any suggestion on either fronts. Is there some type of aid we can get both monetary and psychologically?
ComputerMKII
Banned
While waiting for her CRT screeen to cool down (so she can start a Donkey Kong Country run), she's complaining about the comments on the jeuxvideo.com video and the fact that some people on Nesblog started a debate about gay marriage even though it has no relation with transgenderism or the subject matter (which probably was another superplay video).