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[Platy]

Interesting legal case decided today in Australia, didn't think it was thread worthy but thought some here might be interested:

Though strictly the decision only applies to those such as Norrie who have had sex affirmation surgery (previously known as sex change surgery)

http://www.smh.com.au/nsw/legal-rec...identify-as-either-m-or-f-20130531-2ngy4.html

And AGAIN the gender we belong is decided by doctors =P

I have a dream that one day every country will be like argentina and you would be able to choose your own gender based simply on what you feel and not a surgery or anything that includes other people

 

[Sibylus]

I have to say, I am very proud of all of you. It can't be easy to be of a different gender than the sex you were born as. It takes quite a bit of courage to go through what you all have to go through. I am not transgendered, but I feel quite passionate about LGTBQ issues and I hope one day society as a whole accepts those that do not seem to conform to the stereotypical idea of what it means to be a man, woman and the relationships they should have with one another. Just thought I would chime in and let you know that there are people out there working and fighting for you guys and gals. Stay strong, and stay positive!

Thanks for the post! Hope you're doing well too

 

[Pie Lord]

Hey there transgaf, I have a situation that I thought you guys might be able to help me make sense of.

I have a very close friend that identifies as a lesbian. Just over a week ago, she was intimate with a male to female transsexual. At first, this didn't seem unusual to me. However, I learned soon after that the woman in question was pre-op. I was shocked by this, to put it mildly.

I've spent the better part of this and last week trying to make sense of the situation. No matter how hard I try, I just can't wrap my head around it. I realize that my friend was intimate with a woman, but there's no denying that this woman was physically male. It utterly confounds me that a woman who, until a week ago, reacted with revulsion to the suggestion intimacy with a man was intimate with someone who has the body of a man.

In my time at college I've studied a fair amount of sociology and psychology. The key point that I've taken away from these areas of study, is that perception is reality. Therefore, it seems obvious to me that my friend perceived the woman she was intimate with as just that, a woman. Nevertheless, I can't understand my friend's sexual attraction to her partner in this situation.

I spoke to a female to male transexual hoping he could help me make some sense of the situation, but he wasn't able to offer much of an explanation. So, I find myself turning to transgaf. Is there any kind of unique insight you folks could offer on this situation? Anything that I and the man I spoke with may have overlooked? I'm deeply, deeply confused (and more than a little hurt) by these events and would like nothing more than to make sense of it all.

As a final note, I'd like to apologize if this post has offended anyone. I've know very few transexuals in my life, so I feel like I'm walking on eggshells while writing this. It is not my intent to offend anyone but, if I have done so, please feel free to educate me.

 

[Platy]

I spoke to a male to female transexual hoping he could help me make some sense of the situation, but he wasn't able to offer much of an explanation. So, I find myself turning to transgaf. Is there any kind of unique insight you folks could offer on this situation? Anything that I and the man I spoke with may have overlooked? I'm deeply, deeply confused (and more than a little hurt) by these events and would like nothing more than to make sense of it all.

As a final note, I'd like to apologize if this post has offended anyone. I've know very few transexuals in my life, so I feel like I'm walking on eggshells while writing this. It is not my intent to offend anyone but, if I have done so, please feel free to educate me.

It is kinda hilarious to see this after the rest of the post ... so I will just consider that you wanted to write "female to male" =P

So ... do you agree that lesbians might use vibrators on their sexual relationships without being straight in denial ?
Do you agree that lesbians might even use strap-on dildos on their sexual relationships ?
Do you agree that a person can have sex without using his or her penis ?

So mix everything and there is absolutly no problem of a lesbian having sex with a lesbian who happens to have a penis instead of a vagina.
Super mega spoiler :

Spoiler

transgender women HAVE fingers and a tongue

Also, she probably has boobs and a estrogen made body ... so the rest of the atraction is pretty easy to see =P

 

[Pie Lord]

It is kinda hilarious to see this after the rest of the post ... so I will just consider that you wanted to write "female to male" =P

So ... do you agree that lesbians might use vibrators on their sexual relationships without being straight in denial ?
Do you agree that lesbians might even use strap-on dildos on their sexual relationships ?
Do you agree that a person can have sex without using his or her penis ?

So mix everything and there is absolutly no problem of a lesbian having sex with a lesbian who happens to have a penis instead of a vagina.
Super mega spoiler :

Spoiler

transgender women HAVE fingers and a tongue

Also, she probably has boobs and a estrogen made body ... so the rest of the atraction is pretty easy to see =P

Yeah, I meant to write female to male. Sorry about that. As for the rest of your post, everything I know about the encounter makes it seem like they had sex in the same manner as a heterosexual couple and that the transwoman in question did not have breasts. I do believe she was on hormones though.

I'd also like to point out that I don't think there's a "problem" here, I just find the whole situation confusing.

 

[Platy]

Yeah, I meant to write female to male. Sorry about that. As for the rest of your post, everything I know about the encounter makes it seem like they had sex in the same manner as a heterosexual couple and that the transwoman in question did not have breasts. I do believe she was on hormones though.

I'd also like to point out that I don't think there's a "problem" here, I just find the whole situation confusing.

1) She is in the real begining of the transition
2) She is incredibly unlucky

Also, flatchested girls exist

And then as I said, lesbians do have penetrative sex.

 

[Pie Lord]

1) She is in the real begining of the transition
2) She is incredibly unlucky

Also, flatchested girls exist

And then as I said, lesbians do have penetrative sex.

I, and virtually all of my ex-girlfriends, are quite aware of this.

I'm also quite aware that lesbians have penetrative sex. That's not where the confusion comes from. The confusion comes from the fact that male genitalia was involved. Now, I've always thought of sexuality as being rather fluid as opposed to rigid. As such, I can make sense of this from my own perspective. My friend on the other hand, has generally viewed sexuality in more rigid terms. She has also expressed a fair amount of disgust towards penises. So in a lot of ways my confusion comes less from the situation itself, and more from my friend's perceptions of sex and sexuality as I have observed them.

 

[mollipen]

The answer is just that it's complicated. I've talked to men who are attracted to pre-op trans girls, but who would never be attracted to men. Because, they aren't attracted to men—they're attracted to women who just happen to have different genitalia.

It simply comes down to the fact that what makes us heterosexual or homosexual (or bisexual) isn't all about penis or vagina. It's the overall body, attractions to certain body parts beyond the crotch, personality, gender traits, plenty of stuff.

 

[Brian Griffin]

I, and virtually all of my ex-girlfriends, are quite aware of this.

I'm also quite aware that lesbians have penetrative sex. That's not where the confusion comes from. The confusion comes from the fact that male genitalia was involved. Now, I've always thought of sexuality as being rather fluid as opposed to rigid. As such, I can make sense of this from my own perspective. My friend on the other hand, has generally viewed sexuality in more rigid terms. She has also expressed a fair amount of disgust towards penises. So in a lot of ways my confusion comes less from the situation itself, and more from my friend's perceptions of sex and sexuality as I have observed them.

Your friend had sex with a woman so maybe there wasn't male genitalia involved from her point of view. Most men have a penis but transgender women can also have them and if she is attracted to a person's expressed gender then their equipment might not matter much to her, if at all. I'll say that this is true for myself in that I like MtF transgender porn but not gay porn. I find penises pretty hot when they belong to women but not so when they belong to a man.

EDIT: My bad, I didn't fully read your post where you said your friend expressed "disgust" towards wangs. I guess only she can really clear up your confusion. Maybe it was only men's wangs like I suggested or maybe she just decided to try it out and see if she liked it.

 

[EmiPrime]

was intimate with someone who has the body of a man. .

No she wasn't. Just because somebody has a penis doesn't mean they have the body of a man. If someone identifies as a woman and wants to be treated as such then their body is female. I appreciate not everyone might see it that way especially for those early on in transition but if your friend can frame this person as female in her head and she felt like she was being intimate with another woman then really that's all that matters. The way I think of it there is no threshold that needs to be crossed other than sincerity about identifying as which ever gender and any attempt to police it beyond that isn't helpful because of financial, personal safety or health reasons, some people may only be able to take transition so far or do so at a slower pace that they would like.

Hope this helps make sense of things!

 

[Emitan]

This thread gains another Emi

 

[EmiPrime]

Hooray!

In other news that guy from Penny Arcade is kind of a bigot, but everyone knew that already. I appreciate your efforts at cons shidoshi but the guy is a grade A prick and this isn't a massive surprise after his rape joke schtick.

 

[iirate]

This thread gains another Emi

Until I saw that it was a junior posting, I thought you had(another) name change!

 

[H.M.M Arsenlol]

Hi.

Long time lurker of gaf but finally got my membership. Cis-male I believe to be the term to describe my gender.

Sorry if this sound insensitive but was the latest penny-arcade fuck up (https://twitter.com/cwgabriel) about being treated as somebody as less then human? That what is in a person's pants describes how they live there life?

 

[mollipen]

I... wouldn't know anything about anything Gabe might have said on Twitter today. *hehe*

 

[lexi]

I think Gabe is / was misinformed which isn't anything new. I reserve more scorn for people who advocate killing trans women. (Lex and Terry incident recently)

People tweeting him telling him to jump in front of a bus doesn't help.

 

[H.M.M Arsenlol]

I... wouldn't know anything about anything Gabe might have said on Twitter today. *hehe*

I think Gabe is / was misinformed which isn't anything new. I reserve more scorn for people who advocate killing trans women. (Lex and Terry incident recently)

People tweeting him telling him to jump in front of a bus doesn't help.

A lack of information, then.

I just don't get it. You have the internet to ask, but still be ignorant about things that might hurt other people.

If you don't want want to hurt people, why don't you find out before-hand what might hurt them. It's better then saying sorry later.

 

[lexi]

A lack of information, then.

I just don't get it. You have the internet to ask, but still be ignorant about things that might hurt other people.

If you don't want want to hurt people, why don't you find out before-hand what might hurt them. It's better then saying sorry later.

GAF has taught me that some people just don't care.

Not to say that makes them bad people, they just think so highly of themselves that their opinion is of course the correct and morally right one.

 

[H.M.M Arsenlol]

GAF has taught me that some people just don't care.

Not to say that makes them bad people, they just think so highly of themselves that their opinion is of course the correct and morally right one.

I've been a lurker on gaf since about 08.

If I became a member back then, a lot of topics I would of responded with a dumb joke answerer. But looking through the links people post & taking time to read the hole thread through... I just believe patience to be a virtue.

Take time to understand & if you don't understand, ask somebody.

It's the internet, you've got all the time in the world.

 

[EmiPrime]

I've been a lurker on gaf since about 08.

If I became a member back then, a lot of topics I would of responded with a dumb joke answerer. But looking through the links people post & taking time to read the hole thread through... I just believe patience to be a virtue.

Take time to understand & if you don't understand, ask somebody.

It's the internet, you've got all the time in the world.

You have a good attitude to these things and you have god as your avatar. You're alright in my book.

 

[mollipen]

A lack of information, then.

Just to be clear, I was making a joke. I tweeted to Gabe about his comment, and I'm not sure I've ever had as many people tweet at me in one day as I did yesterday. (Plus, I think I was one of the only people Gabe legitimately replied back to.)

 

[Princess Viola]

Hey, I have a bit of a thing involving one of my friends that's confusing me. (I'm not really sure if it should be posted in transgaf here, but seeing as both me and my friend are transgender, I think it might)

So basically, my friend is a male-to-female transgender, like I am, but unlike me, who is asexual but panromantic, my friend says she is straight. Now, since she's transgender, that means she's attracted to men.

Here's what's confusing me - she's currently dating ME, a girl, and yet she still say's she's straight. So how can she be dating another girl and still declare herself to be straight?

 

[iirate]

Hey, I have a bit of a thing involving one of my friends that's confusing me. (I'm not really sure if it should be posted in transgaf here, but seeing as both me and my friend are transgender, I think it might)

So basically, my friend is a male-to-female transgender, like I am, but unlike me, who is asexual but panromantic, my friend says she is straight. Now, since she's transgender, that means she's attracted to men.

Here's what's confusing me - she's currently dating ME, a girl, and yet she still say's she's straight. So how can she be dating another girl and still declare herself to be straight?

Hetero-flexible, maybe?

 

[EmiPrime]

Hey, I have a bit of a thing involving one of my friends that's confusing me. (I'm not really sure if it should be posted in transgaf here, but seeing as both me and my friend are transgender, I think it might)

So basically, my friend is a male-to-female transgender, like I am, but unlike me, who is asexual but panromantic, my friend says she is straight. Now, since she's transgender, that means she's attracted to men.

Here's what's confusing me - she's currently dating ME, a girl, and yet she still say's she's straight. So how can she be dating another girl and still declare herself to be straight?

You are right to find that problematic. If she really strongly identifies as straight and you have already communicated that this is confusing to you this isn't a relationship that has any kind of a future unless you are comfortable with her also having relationships with men. If you haven't already, talk to each other and tell each other clearly what each of you want and need from the relationship.

If the above sounds crap my apologies, I am not very familiar with asexual relationships and their dynamics, boundaries or identities.

 

[rocketknight]

You are right to find that problematic. If she really strongly identifies as straight and you have already communicated that this is confusing to you this isn't a relationship that has any kind of a future unless you are comfortable with her also having relationships with men. If you haven't already, talk to each other and tell each other clearly what each of you want and need from the relationship.

If the above sounds crap my apologies, I am not very familiar with asexual relationships and their dynamics, boundaries or identities.

I disagree. I find that any problem that can be solved by simply not trying to label people and slot them into boxes is generally a problem that should be solved by not trying to label people and slot them into boxes. If your only distress is over labels, try to quit worrying about labels.

Or, alternatively: if it's really bothering you, talk to her about it.

 

[Femmeworth]

Hey, I have a bit of a thing involving one of my friends that's confusing me. (I'm not really sure if it should be posted in transgaf here, but seeing as both me and my friend are transgender, I think it might)

So basically, my friend is a male-to-female transgender, like I am, but unlike me, who is asexual but panromantic, my friend says she is straight. Now, since she's transgender, that means she's attracted to men.

Here's what's confusing me - she's currently dating ME, a girl, and yet she still say's she's straight. So how can she be dating another girl and still declare herself to be straight?

Aren't you pre-transition? Sounds like she might not be viewing you as a girl. Alternatively, it might just be that she is pretty much straight and you're an exception.

 

[Princess Viola]

Aren't you pre-transition? Sounds like she might not be viewing you as a girl. Alternatively, it might just be that she is pretty much straight and you're an exception.

Well, she has told me I'm the one who stopped her from wanted to commit suicide when we met.

 

[Nudull]

Guys, I'm in trouble. My parents have been trying to strongarm me into going through this tech school course so that I'd be working in the same field as my mom, even though I've been going somewhat well with trying to get a part-time job down already, and now it's gotten to the point where I now have until next week, or else I'm out. I'm not really in my best position, right now.

 

[Tenumi]

So, I'm in a bit of a dilemma right now. I had my counseling appointment, but was unable to talk to him about this, mainly because I had anxiety issues I needed to get out there first. But I'm feeling scared. I feel like I need someone close to me to talk about this to. I want to talk to my mother about it. But I fear what will happen if I tell her. She's relatively conservative, but somewhat understanding. My brother is gay, and while she's not really for it, she supports him no matter what. I'll be honest, I rely on my parents for a lot. I'm scared that I'll lose that.

Sorry if that was a little incoherent...

 

[rocketknight]

The Social Security Adminstration has changed their policy for changing genders in their system. Surgery of any kind is explicitly no longer required.

Here's a concise explanation with a link to a PDF fact sheet from the SSA.

 

[Princess Viola]

The Social Security Adminstration has changed their policy for changing genders in their system. Surgery of any kind is explicitly no longer required.

Here's a concise explanation with a link to a PDF fact sheet from the SSA.

So this means that if I have like something from a doctor or something saying I'm female I could get my gender changed by the ssa???

 

[Emitan]

https://lexiecannes.wordpress.com/2...ers-safe-for-transgender-kids-says-new-study/

 

[Emitan]

He's at it again, folks.

https://twitter.com/cwgabriel

Shock, surprise, awe...

 

[Tenumi]

He's at it again, folks.

https://twitter.com/cwgabriel

Shock, surprise, awe...

Its so sad, I used to like Penny Arcade, and it was a place I considered posting at during my recluse phase. But he's truly seems to be digging himself deeper and deeper.

 

[DJ Crimson]

Yea

 

[TheGrue]

Wanted to come here and get some opinions on something personal in my life. My son is turning 15 this year and within the last year has come to my wife and I claiming he thinks he is a girl. Our first reaction to this was disbelief as having raised him, I can say that at no time in his life did he ever exhibit female-like behavior. He still doesn't, but he also claims he hides it from us. Now, I could certainly believe that to be a truth, but I also think back to when he was 3 or 4 (a time when you would think he's be incapable of hiding his true sex oir even know that he should hide it) and I just don't recall any behavior where I would look back and say, "yeah, that was such a feminine thing to do." He wasn't attracted to girls' clothing, dolls, or whatever. He definitely had girls growing up that were friends and even today prefers the company of women to men, but I also had that same experience. Most of my friends growing up were girls and I preferred hanging out with them to hanging out with the bros. So I certainly get that, but I don't think that makes me a girl.

At any rate, I wanted to maybe get some idea of how some of the transgender folks in here kind of discovered their inner gender, when they first realized, if there tends to be some kind of commonality in realizing or identifying someone as transgender. Part of me wonders if he just misinterprets seemingly non-traditional things (like a boy who prefers female friends).

No matter if he's transgender, gay, whatever, I'll still love him no matter what. He's probably got the perfect set of parents for having a non-traditional lifestyle like this, so there's no worries there. It just seems like such an out-of-left-field thing based on having watched him grow up. Especially since he isn't very girl-like in any way. He's certainly like his dad in that he's more cerebral and not very athletic or into typical boy stuff.

The other thing is since we've found out, my wife has tried things like bringing him into the woman's clothes section at stores and engaging him about his opinions on styles or things like that and he isn't responsive at all. Could be that he isn't comfortable talking about it, but it seems like he doesn't take the bait at all with regards to girl-related things.

If you asked him if he would want a sex-change operation, he'd tell you yes and he thinks this will solve all his issues in life.

At any rate, any advice those have been through this can give to try to help me make sense of this all would be greatly appreciated.

 

[rocketknight]

Wanted to come here and get some opinions on something personal in my life. My son is turning 15 this year and within the last year has come to my wife and I claiming he thinks he is a girl. Our first reaction to this was disbelief as having raised him, I can say that at no time in his life did he ever exhibit female-like behavior. He still doesn't, but he also claims he hides it from us. Now, I could certainly believe that to be a truth, but I also think back to when he was 3 or 4 (a time when you would think he's be incapable of hiding his true sex oir even know that he should hide it) and I just don't recall any behavior where I would look back and say, "yeah, that was such a feminine thing to do." He wasn't attracted to girls' clothing, dolls, or whatever. He definitely had girls growing up that were friends and even today prefers the company of women to men, but I also had that same experience. Most of my friends growing up were girls and I preferred hanging out with them to hanging out with the bros. So I certainly get that, but I don't think that makes me a girl.

At any rate, I wanted to maybe get some idea of how some of the transgender folks in here kind of discovered their inner gender, when they first realized, if there tends to be some kind of commonality in realizing or identifying someone as transgender. Part of me wonders if he just misinterprets seemingly non-traditional things (like a boy who prefers female friends).

No matter if he's transgender, gay, whatever, I'll still love him no matter what. He's probably got the perfect set of parents for having a non-traditional lifestyle like this, so there's no worries there. It just seems like such an out-of-left-field thing based on having watched him grow up. Especially since he isn't very girl-like in any way. He's certainly like his dad in that he's more cerebral and not very athletic or into typical boy stuff.

The other thing is since we've found out, my wife has tried things like bringing him into the woman's clothes section at stores and engaging him about his opinions on styles or things like that and he isn't responsive at all. Could be that he isn't comfortable talking about it, but it seems like he doesn't take the bait at all with regards to girl-related things.

If you asked him if he would want a sex-change operation, he'd tell you yes and he thinks this will solve all his issues in life.

At any rate, any advice those have been through this can give to try to help me make sense of this all would be greatly appreciated.

Try to find a gender therapist in your area and let your kid talk to them to work this out. In the meantime, continue to be loving and supportive, and if your kid asks you do anything to make them more comfortable (like using a different name or pronouns), do it. There's absolutely no substitute for getting them professional help, and a gender therapist will help them refine and understand their feelings and what they want to do about them.

 

[EmiPrime]

Butch and androgynous women are women too. A lot of women have no interest in makeup either. Your child doesn't have to fit the standard trans narrative of wanting to play with dolls and putting on dresses. Many don't.

Definitely get a therapist ASAP but the best thing you can do is listen, don't challenge your child's identity. Let them explore their gender and talk about it. Be supportive and loving. It might seem like all this has come out of the blue but your child has probably been thinking about it all their life.

 

[TheGrue]

We have gotten a therapist with a transgender background, but she has kind of put this part of their talks on the backburner because he has other issues as well (hearing voices, thoughts of suicide, etc.). He is on medication for those other things and I think she wanted to talk to him a bit about those before delving deeper into this other facet. We've got him set up for that, though, so good to go on that front.

I've never really gotten a chance to talk to a transgender person in my life and so a lot of this is just for my own curiosity. Not trying to talk him out of it or anything, but just trying to understand how this tends to manifest itself and what the experiences of those who are transgender have been like. I should probably start with reading this thread from beginning to end and will likely get some background this way. Thanks for the responses so far.

 

[DJ Crimson]

Yea

 

[Princess Viola]

Many don't.

I know I didn't.

Although I do remember putting a dress on a Darth Vader toy for the Hell of it.

 

[Dr.Palutena]

While liking or expressing "girl-like" things isn't a requirement to indicate "trans-female-ness" , in my case the sole reason why I didn't express it was because I actively spent a portion of my youth utterly embarrassed and in fear of doing so. Like I was the type that expressed dislike for pink and balked when my mother asked me to hold her purse, or tried to look very disinterested being in female sections of clothing stores.
While I don't feel this way about any of this stuff anymore , It simply hasn't been an instant switch since being more open about myself, behavior is harder to change than that. Even now if my mom attempted to do something similar to what your wife did, I'd probably be unwilling to express anything to her. Additionally any "girl-like" expression of myself I've come to realize in the past year or so, doesn't matter as much to me as creating physical changes to my body to better identify. But as everyone has said, while many of us share commonality, we are still largely different.

 

[TheGrue]

Thanks for the responses so far. This whole thing has gotten me thinking a lot about what it means to think you're male or female and I guess if someone asked me how I know I identify myself as being male, I'm not sure I'd have a good answer to give. It's a very interesting concept that I've never really given much thought to before.

 

[EmiPrime]

A certain thread has been very emotionally draining so I think I will bow out for now.

I will never stop speaking out against racism, transphobia, misogyny, homophobia etc. but sometimes things get a bit too toxic for me. I think moderation on GAF is better than on any other forum but it still has some ways to go given how easy it is for the MRA crowd to thread shit and derail any progressive discussion on race or gender.

 

[lexi]

A certain thread has been very emotionally draining so I think I will bow out for now.

I will never stop speaking out against racism, transphobia, misogyny, homophobia etc. but sometimes things get a bit too toxic for me. I think moderation on GAF is better than on any other forum but it still has some ways to go given how easy it is for the MRA crowd to thread shit and derail any progressive discussion on race or gender.

It's extremely draining posting in those threads. I don't even get stuck into them anymore, just dropping some patented snarkasm bombs.

 

[EmiPrime]

It's extremely draining posting in those threads. I don't even get stuck into them anymore, just dropping some patented snarkasm bombs.

Without proper moderation we just get hounded out of these threads. Now the MRA lot are really comfy and spouting garbage like this:

http://www.neogaf.com/forum/showpost.php?p=65325406&postcount=1164
http://www.neogaf.com/forum/showpost.php?p=65319256&postcount=1130

Pure vomit. I agree with the re/Action open letter; it's time gaming websites took a stand if they want minorities to feel comfortable in gaming spaces.

 

[Tenumi]

Without proper moderation we just get hounded out of these threads. Now the MRA lot are really comfy and spouting garbage like this:

http://www.neogaf.com/forum/showpost.php?p=65325406&postcount=1164
http://www.neogaf.com/forum/showpost.php?p=65319256&postcount=1130

Pure vomit. I agree with the re/Action open letter; it's time gaming websites took a stand if they want minorities to feel comfortable in gaming spaces.

What the heck with that second one? How in the world is a person like that able to exist?

Ugh...

 

[Nudull]

Without proper moderation we just get hounded out of these threads. Now the MRA lot are really comfy and spouting garbage like this:

http://www.neogaf.com/forum/showpost.php?p=65325406&postcount=1164
http://www.neogaf.com/forum/showpost.php?p=65319256&postcount=1130

Pure vomit. I agree with the re/Action open letter; it's time gaming websites took a stand if they want minorities to feel comfortable in gaming spaces.

Amazing. Makes me glad I stay out of these threads, GAF still has a ways to go in handling these subjects.

 

[EmiPrime]

The thread shitting that has gone on with stupid one liners involving over-sensitivity and political correctness is incredible. Screw all those people but my hate is especially reserved for those telling us we should shut up, be less angry, that "it's just their opinion, be tolerant" or that our anger means we are somehow as bad as those who spout transphobic rhetoric because they communicate it "politely". The attempted silencing and erasure is utterly maddening.

 

[iirate]

Thanks for the responses so far. This whole thing has gotten me thinking a lot about what it means to think you're male or female and I guess if someone asked me how I know I identify myself as being male, I'm not sure I'd have a good answer to give. It's a very interesting concept that I've never really given much thought to before.

It *can* certainly be hard to express yourself when dealing with being trans. My experiences at 26 are probably not what your child is dealing with at 14, but when I was that age, I was no where near ready to come out. I kept daydreaming about the possibility that I was really a girl, but I knew nothing about even what a trans person was, and thus attributed it all to a wandering imagination. Even still, especially at that age, I was repressing a ton. I was trying to hard to be a guy that I did some really stupid things, including forsake all interest in fashion. I wore baggy, worn out, and over-sized clothes every day, not because I didn't care about fashion, but because I didn't want anyone to think that I did.

Even today, I'm completely out and accepted among friends and coworkers, and I still have problems not showing them the "me" that they've known so long. I've come a long way and am way, way more comfortable than I've ever been, but it's still easier with strangers or people who haven't known me half my life.