Well here's a question and a story...
How do you cope with friends cutting you off for being transgender? With basically that being pretty much the only reason? I assume others have gone through this?
I've had the experience of having that done to me slowly and gradually in various ways over the course of the last few years until I had enough and pulled the plug. Basically what the person was trying to accomplish and got what they wanted. I tried to keep it cordial (and did at first) but the rage inside me is seething. After calmly stating that I thought it was best to cease contact I suppose I just couldn't get over it and I absolutely, utterly tore strips off of this person recently via text message. I had enough thinking about it, I had to get it out of me and give it to this person. I was sick of the way I was being seen as less, being excluded and looked down upon in various ways and treated like shit amongst his friends behind my back. The fakery, the lies, the deceit. I was fucking over it.
I took it too far, was quite vicious actually, and have utterly annihilated any semblance of friendship there was left there. In a way I think good, it was a long time coming and well deserved. On the other hand it was cruel and callous. Out of character in many ways and I would late offer an apology for it.
Of course the person really is quite the ignorant douchebag but had good qualities and was someone I had known a good 20 years since we were kids. I did do a lot for for this person over a long time. I was apparently the only one he 'trusted' to mind (i.e. live in and look after) his house and dogs for a month. Which I did, after driving 14 hours interstate to do so. I uprooted my life in one state and moved basically for this fucker, and the thanks I get when I need a help in life...the thanks I get. He has a young son, about a year. My guess is that I would be a bad influence or some nonsense, that his boy might catch what I've got or something.
Of course the person is a total user and always has been, an idea of friendship that was a total one way street. You know the people you will always go out of your way for but they will never in blue hell go out of their way for you? That type. Unfortunately due to my lack of social connection I put of with all this shit. More fool me.
I know people will say 'fuck him' but I'm really not happy about it because I'm finding it hard to cope. This whole idea of being excluded for being different is a rather recent phenomenon in my life with transitioning. It's hard to cope with when that is basically the only reason and I could never, ever do that to someone myself.
My mother found it quite difficult, being from an older generation (in her 70's now). I've largely only spoken with her over the past few years over the phone (only seen her twice in that time with a year and a half difference as we live in different states) but she has coped overall. Saw her today, she see's how much I've changed but barely blinked an eyelid really. Nice
Despite her difficulty in understanding, the idea of cutting me off as a result of me being transgender she considers abhorrent.
So the fact that this other bastard works to progressively do this over a period of a few years (basically put up with it at first begrudgingly) and then the moment I go full time the intentional fucking me around with catching up, the complete disrespect for me as transgender etc, the shit kicks into overdrive. All planned for a long time, as I had suspected for a long time.
Really fucking unhappy about it and this person just couldn't care less it seems. Not an apology, not an explanation, nothing. I'm not worth anything. Whatever.
