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[Wazzy]

Frankly some of the people who mean well aren't helping either.

Trans people not telling their partner when in a LTR just doesn't happen yet both well meaning people and the transphobes are arguing over this possibility, like it's a really common thing.

This whole "tricking" straight dudes thing is one of the most transphobic tropes around yet it's fair game to discuss it on here, like it's legitimate discourse.

Whatever.

I'm going to assume I'm part of the problem with that line of discussion so I do want to apologize. I just think people go way too far to justify something that really doesn't make much sense. If the only clue that they were born the opposite gender is them telling you, then why exactly would that matter? It's just extremely confusing.

Anyway main thing I wanted to do was pop in and say I'm sorry you guys have to deal with this thread. There's a lot of dismissive comments and It's completely unfair for you guys to deal with.

 

[Kangi]

The absurd "this doesn't affect me why do you care" and "how dare you people get offended" hit-and-run posts need to be curbed. It's thinly-veiled thread-whining at best.

 

[Anura]

Staying out is wise; I got banned for posting that the legitimacy of trans women is not up for debate and that it's transphobic to do so. If you don't want to risk your account just keep away.

Wow really...?

 

[EmiPrime]

I'm going to assume I'm part of the problem with that line of discussion so I do want to apologize. I just think people go way too far to justify something that really doesn't make much sense. If the only clue that they were born the opposite gender is them telling you, then why exactly would that matter? It's just extremely confusing.

Anyway main thing I wanted to do was pop in and say I'm sorry you guys have to deal with this thread. There's a lot of dismissive comments and It's completely unfair for you guys to deal with.

It's okay we know you mean well!

I don't think there's any problem with someone who has real life experience with this saying that they weren't able to overcome their conditioning or whatever else and broke up with their trans partner assuming they weren't vindictive and violent. And anyway, why would anyone want to be with someone who doesn't accept them for all that they are?

What is transphobic and obnoxious is the many people saying they'd never date a trans person even though the likelihood of them ever being in that situation is extremely unlikely and yet they have to let the internet know, like anyone cares about their stupid opinion. Like really guys, cheers for letting us know, amazing contribution, thanks for the evaluation of post-srs genitals too and how they don't meet your standards and how much you love chromosomes. Well done on being on the same level as people who proudly proclaim that they won't date people of certain ethnicities.

Wow really...?

Yes.

 

[Wazzy]

It's okay we know you mean well!

I don't think there's any problem with someone who has real life experience with this saying that they weren't able to overcome their conditioning or whatever else and broke up with their trans partner assuming they weren't vindictive and violent. And anyway, why would anyone want to be with someone who doesn't accept them for all that they are?

What is transphobic and obnoxious is the many people saying they'd never date a trans person even though the likelihood of them ever being in that situation is extremely unlikely and yet they have to let the internet know, like anyone cares about their stupid opinion. Like really guys, cheers for letting us know, amazing contribution, thanks for the evaluation of post-srs genitals too and how they don't meet your standards and how much you love chromosomes. Well done on being on the same level as people who proudly proclaim that they won't date people of certain ethnicities.

That's actually a very good point. If someone reacts with violence or mockery then that is definitely a problem but if they handle it like you said, I can see how that's a lot easier to accept.

But anyway I completely agree about the rest of your post. There's a lot of transphobia that people get away with and it's just not okay.

Best of wishes to everyone here and I know seeing this thread and the awful comments must suck. I hope the mods step in.

 

[Anura]

It's okay we know you mean well!

I don't think there's any problem with someone who has real life experience with this saying that they weren't able to overcome their conditioning or whatever else and broke up with their trans partner assuming they weren't vindictive and violent. And anyway, why would anyone want to be with someone who doesn't accept them for all that they are?

What is transphobic and obnoxious is the many people saying they'd never date a trans person even though the likelihood of them ever being in that situation is extremely unlikely and yet they have to let the internet know, like anyone cares about their stupid opinion. Like really guys, cheers for letting us know, amazing contribution, thanks for the evaluation of post-srs genitals too and how they don't meet your standards and how much you love chromosomes. Well done on being on the same level as people who proudly proclaim that they won't date people of certain ethnicities.



Yes.

I honestly just despise how the word "deceit" is thrown around. Sorry nobody mentioned this deeply personal thing that might result in horrible violence a few weeks after you meet.

 

[EmiPrime]

There's a video on vine of a man stamping on a trans woman's face that has been doing the rounds today so I am a bit wound up and that stupid GAF thread didn't help matters. I'll quit while I am ahead.

 

[Femmeworth]

There's a video on vine of a man stamping on a trans woman's face that has been doing the rounds today so I am a bit wound up and that stupid GAF thread didn't help matters. I'll quit while I am ahead.

The fuck? Glad I haven't seen it.

 

[Sibylus]

Don't expect I'll be venturing within 50 feet of the thread, but thanks Wazzy. Best wishes to you also.

 

[Platy]

The concept of punching up vs punching down in comedy is lost on GAF.

Piling on a group of people whose issues include high rates of poverty, mental health issues, homelessness, HIV and suicide in the name of free speech and humour is so edgy.

I kinda wanted to post this video ....

The Laugh of Others (english youtube subtitles included)

But asking for gaf (or almost anyone on the internet actualy) to watch a 50 minute documentary with subtitles about the diference from Punching Up and Punching Down in comedy is a little too much =P

Which is sad because every single argument related to the thread like "it is just a joke", "political correctness gone mad", "freedom of speech" and everything is DESTROYED by the documentary

 

[MisterGrey3000]

Frankly some of the people who mean well aren't helping either.

Trans people not telling their partner when in a LTR just doesn't happen yet both well meaning people and the transphobes are arguing over this possibility, like it's a really common thing.

This whole "tricking" straight dudes thing is one of the most transphobic tropes around yet it's fair game to discuss it on here, like it's legitimate discourse.

Whatever.

The whole thread was pretty disgusting, but that junk was pissing me off. I'm so glad that thread was locked.
I can't believe that some people were getting away with propagating such an ignorant and hurtful stereotype.
I've started to noticed that many threads on GAF(specifically on gaming side) that have to do with race/gender/LGBT issues eventually turn into "But what about the privileged majority!! Doesn't anyone care about our feelings?!" topics.

 

[Alchemy]

So I'm struggling a bit after my last therapy session, because I think I've discovered my biggest problem: me. I think I'm afraid of accepting myself and moving forward with trying to improve my life instead of burying it again and again. Is this common? I think my perception of things is way off because of all the people I've seen talk about their transitions online, how confident they always sound about how they badly they wanted it and hid nothing.

I just feel weak right now.

 

[Box of Bunnies]

I think I've discovered my biggest problem: me. I think I'm afraid of accepting myself and moving forward with trying to improve my life instead of burying it again and again. Is this common?

Can't speak for anyone else but it was ten years of suppressing with plenty of false starts before I finally got things moving for real.

 

[Jado]

Hi all,
Sorry for how horribly that turned out. I'm not a trans individual with exp to how those threads turn out and only far too late realized that it would devolve into the bogeyman argument and mass denial you all saw. I also agree that those stupid drive-by posts constitute thread whining and something needs to be done; there were several dozen like that or so it seemed. I'm legitimately sad and teared up a bit when I got home to see it was locked and had become a fucking mess of people spewing garbage and supporting that thinly veiled transphobic song. GAF is the only place I really trust to post online and it's sad that it's often as backwards as anywhere else.

I'm always amazed (and simultaneously not) at how something can only be declared "not good" if it's ham-fisted/blatant enough for a toddler to agree it's bad. Like someone said, this shit happens in all the minority group-related threads and it's frustrating when people refuse to discuss obvious nuance and intent. All they see is a stupid "nice little old man" singing a sweet song about how fantastic and blahblah this person is.

Frankly some of the people who mean well aren't helping either.

Trans people not telling their partner when in a LTR just doesn't happen yet both well meaning people and the transphobes are arguing over this possibility, like it's a really common thing.

This whole "tricking" straight dudes thing is one of the most transphobic tropes around yet it's fair game to discuss it on here, like it's legitimate discourse.

Whatever.

Several people including myself tried addressing this and got pushback along the lines of "too bad, your 'side' started it."

 

[lexi]

GAF is the only place I really trust to post online and it's sad that it's often as backwards as anywhere else.

To give GAF some credit, not quite.

On GAF you only really get a casual laid back style of transmisogyny as opposed to outright vilification and hatred everywhere else on the internet.

e.g.

GAF: That's not offensive at all, grow thicker skin.
Everywhere else: DIE TRANNY FAG LOLLLLL

 

[Reishiki]

Frankly some of the people who mean well aren't helping either.

I'm not one for 'ally hate', but I do find myself fairly frequently exasperated with what some people say In My Name.

On GAF you only really get a casual laid back style of transmisogyny as opposed to outright vilification and hatred everywhere else on the internet.

I've often found that this can be split into two very broad categories; 'ignorance' and 'malice'.

Dealing with the former is emotionally exhausting, but in some cases, you can break through people's preconceived notions and move forward. The issue lying in the fact that this actually has to be done in the first place, something the LGBT community is pretty tired of doing at this point.

The latter are shitheads that you can't reason with in any way, and there's refreshingly far fewer of these on GAF than there are elsewhere on the internet.

 

[Jado]

To give GAF some credit, not quite.

On GAF you only really get a casual laid back style of transmisogyny as opposed to outright vilification and hatred everywhere else on the internet.

e.g.

GAF: That's not offensive at all, grow thicker skin.
Everywhere else: DIE TRANNY FAG LOLLLLL

In your given examples, the latter tend to be a dumber, less influential group whose blatant slurs and opinions are increasingly not tolerated by the mainstream public.

Besides the drive-by thread whiners, the former are far more numerous and out in the open, and tend to form their reasons for not caring around elaborate arguments presented as being "fair and impartial." They often shut down important discussions altogether by discrediting the person or topic through a number of tactics: misleading the discussion (as we just saw), being hyper-rational at all costs, concern trolling, crafting arguments around subtle stereotypes, difficult to disprove lies, etc. I think they're more dangerous and will be around much longer than the idiots above.

 

[EmiPrime]

The people saying:

GAF: That's not offensive at all, grow thicker skin.

Would be saying:

Everywhere else: DIE TRANNY FAG LOLLLLL

If they could get away with it. They all know how much they can say without getting banned and gladly go right up to that line by rewording certain things but the intent is obvious.

All in the name of debate and discussion of course.

 

[Kinsei]

The people saying:



Would be saying:



If they could get away with it. They all know how much they can say without getting banned and gladly go right up to that line by rewording certain things but the intent is obvious.

All in the name of debate and discussion of course.

I always wonder exactly where that line is. Sometimes the limit on what you can say is pretty god when compared to other sites, but other times you can say ****** without any sort of consequence.

 

[Anura]

So today I had someone show me how to do make up. All I got to say is why didn't I try this sooner?!

 

[Alchemy]

So today I had someone show me how to do make up. All I got to say is why didn't I try this sooner?!

I want to try a day of heavy make up but I never have enough alone time for it.

And weight loss is the worst, so slooooow. Probably over doing it (about 15lbs in about 3 weeks) but I really just want to keep going until my stomach fat is all gone. My body is making me crazy depressed right now, so I guess it is time to sleep.

 

[Kinsei]

I just found out that SRS is covered in my province! It happened earlier this year.

I want to try a day of heavy make up but I never have enough alone time for it.

And weight loss is the worst, so slooooow. Probably over doing it (about 15lbs in about 3 weeks) but I really just want to keep going until my stomach fat is all gone. My body is making me crazy depressed right now, so I guess it is time to sleep.

Weight loss sucks, but seeing your clothes slowly become too big for you is awesome. I've lost over 100 pounds in the past year and it's been totally worth it.

 

[Anura]

I want to try a day of heavy make up but I never have enough alone time for it.

And weight loss is the worst, so slooooow. Probably over doing it (about 15lbs in about 3 weeks) but I really just want to keep going until my stomach fat is all gone. My body is making me crazy depressed right now, so I guess it is time to sleep.

If it's any consolation gaining wait is actually really hard too.. At least for me. Apparently I'm about 35 pounds underweight for woman my size and I gotta bulk up to get breasts and a female figure. Much to my chagrin I've lost a little weight since then....

Edit: Although I doubt I'm helping... Sorry

 

[Box of Bunnies]

And weight loss is the worst, so slooooow. Probably over doing it (about 15lbs in about 3 weeks) but I really just want to keep going until my stomach fat is all gone. My body is making me crazy depressed right now, so I guess it is time to sleep.

My weight loss has started to slow down a bit. It was pretty fast and consistent at first because a lot of the excess was from the ridiculous amount of drinking I'd been doing to try to numb things out so once I cut my alcohol consumption right down that helped a lot but it's pretty much back in just the "exercise and don't eat like crap" range so I actually have to work for it now, ha.

Think I've got that puberty appetite coming in too, so that's gonna be fun.

 

[Alchemy]

My weight loss has started to slow down a bit. It was pretty fast and consistent at first because a lot of the excess was from the ridiculous amount of drinking I'd been doing to try to numb things out so once I cut my alcohol consumption right down that helped a lot but it's pretty much back in just the "exercise and don't eat like crap" range so I actually have to work for it now, ha.

Think I've got that puberty appetite coming in too, so that's gonna be fun.

That sound scary, already really hungry. Definitely used to over eat ('Murica!) so controlling my portions (and eating mostly salad) has left me feeling like I'm starving.

 

[Princess Viola]

Sometimes I wonder why I even bother pretending that I'll ever transition anymore. Maybe it's because I recently turned 18, but I just feel stuck.

 

[mollipen]

Sometimes I wonder why I even bother pretending that I'll ever transition anymore. Maybe it's because I recently turned 18, but I just feel stuck.

Not to discount your feelings, but you're 18. You have your whole life ahead of you still.

Also, totally late on this, but hello to all of the newer folks to the thread - Box of Bunnies, Anura, PowderedToast, NON1337H41, PROGRAM_IX, and anyone that I missed in that list!

 

[Femmeworth]

Sometimes I wonder why I even bother pretending that I'll ever transition anymore. Maybe it's because I recently turned 18, but I just feel stuck.

I feel you. 23 and transition feels so far away.

 

[Mistel]

Sometimes I wonder why I even bother pretending that I'll ever transition anymore. Maybe it's because I recently turned 18, but I just feel stuck.

I'm pretty much the same as you but I'm still 17. Here's hoping something actually happens after I'm referred to adult services.

 

[sophora]

Started reading a webcomic called "Validation." Pretty alright so far, though sometimes dysphoria hits hard from triggers. It's a nice thing to read to get away from more upsetting thoughts. Trying to be more active socially, especially in things that I've kept personal like this. It's difficult to talk about this with my local friends since it's so personal. You lot seem to be pretty younger than me too, bright side is that you have time.

 

[Anura]

Not to discount your feelings, but you're 18. You have your whole life ahead of you still.

Also, totally late on this, but hello to all of the newer folks to the thread - Box of Bunnies, Anura, PowderedToast, NON1337H41, PROGRAM_IX, and anyone that I missed in that list!

Yay! Someone greeted me finally!

Anyways for the current line or discussion I am 21 and started spiro like 6 months ago I think? I guess I'm rather lucky in that regard and with my super supportive family. Seriously I am so happy for them after hearing countless family horror stories.
Best of luck to everyone and just keep at it. It gets better is a clichéd line at this point but it's so true.

 

[iirate]

I feel you. 23 and transition feels so far away.

Don't feel too bad - I was just coming to terms with being trans when I was 23. I didn't start hormones until I was 26. Everything will be okay.

 

[EmiPrime]

http://www.neogaf.com/forum/showthread.php?t=851605

Oh look, another disgusting thread.

 

[Mistel]

That got nasty really quick.

 

[EmiPrime]

That got nasty really quick.

The entire premise of that thread is nasty.

 

[EmiPrime]

Good, it's closed now.

 

[Sibylus]

Good, it's closed now.

I should have stayed away. Fuck me.

 

[besada]

That got nasty really quick.

Sorry I didn't get it closed sooner, but I was arguing about gay cakes. If someone will let me know via PM, I'll try to get threads like that shut down quicker.

 

[Dai101]

Sorry I didn't get it closed sooner, but I was arguing about gay cakes.

Is such a thing even possible? I learned something new today

 

[Kinsei]

For me the worst part of that thread wasn't the amont of people saying no (I expected that), but the one guy who put transphobic in quotation marks as if it doesn't exist.

I should have known better than to go into a trans thread other than this one.

 

[BlueBadger]

For me the worst part of that thread wasn't the amont of people saying no (I expected that), but the one guy who put transphobic in quotation marks as if it doesn't exist.

I should have known better than to go into a trans thread other than this one.

I just stumbled upon that thread myself and I wasn't expecting things to be so mean-spirited .

I'm really sorry ! That thread was totally unfair

 

[Box of Bunnies]

That sound scary, already really hungry. Definitely used to over eat ('Murica!) so controlling my portions (and eating mostly salad) has left me feeling like I'm starving.

So far it's just like I start eating dinner and my body is all "finally! give me that, I'm starving!" when I know it shouldn't be because I ate a bit more than usual through the day.

Trying to balance it out 'cause I don't want to put a bunch of weight back on but I don't want to be starving my body when it's asking for fuel either.

Also, totally late on this, but hello to all of the newer folks to the thread - Box of Bunnies, Anura, PowderedToast, NON1337H41, PROGRAM_IX, and anyone that I missed in that list!

Hi there~

I should have stayed away. Fuck me.

That's pretty much always my gameplan.

 

[lexi]

Aw, I love threads like that.

'FUCK NO! But I wish them all the happiness in the world <3'

 

[Malvolio]

Feeling a bit embarrassed about participating in that thread now. My apologies for contributing to something I should have recognized as being offensive. I guess there's still plenty that I have to learn.

 

[sophora]

Opened that thread...expected the same as last time. Still sucks but I guess I just like being sad or something. So are those threads going to become an annual thing now? :/

 

[Anastasia]

I missed the thread but decided to go through it anyway, and it was about as disappointing as I expected it to be.

Opened that thread...expected the same as last time. Still sucks but I guess I just like being sad or something. So are those threads going to become an annual thing now? :/

I doubt it. I'm going to PM a mod if I see a thread like that again (and so should others).

Feeling a bit embarrassed about participating in that thread now. My apologies for contributing to something I should have recognized as being offensive. I guess there's still plenty that I have to learn.

I actually liked your post. ^^

It was a breath of fresh air in what was mostly a sea of horribleness.

 

[BlueBadger]

I doubt it. I'm going to PM a mod if I see a thread like that again (and so should others).

I'll definitely PM a mod along with you if I see another one.. Y'all shouldn't have to go through that at all, let alone more than once :|

 

[Mistel]

Sorry I didn't get it closed sooner, but I was arguing about gay cakes. If someone will let me know via PM, I'll try to get threads like that shut down quicker.

If I see anything I'll send you a PM about it.

The entire premise of that thread is nasty.

It really an awful premise.

 

[EmiPrime]

Feeling a bit embarrassed about participating in that thread now. My apologies for contributing to something I should have recognized as being offensive. I guess there's still plenty that I have to learn.

It's good of you to say that, thanks. All threads that try to debate how legitimate or fuckable trans people are should be avoided, even if you mean well. They're inherently incredibly dehumanising and transphobic discussions and these things are not okay to discuss.

Also I saw someone from Transgaf in that thread criticise the surgeries trans men have access to and I really hope this individual sees how problematic such posts are. That's doing the same thing as the typical cookie cutter nasty criticisms of trans women's surgeries. A lot of trans men are happy with their bottom surgeries or look forward to getting it done because whatever that surgery's shortcomings, they may see it as being an improvement on what they currently have (sound familiar?). They don't need trans women throwing them under the bus, judging that they don't have a "proper" penis to make their own bottom surgery seem better. Please watch what you say.

 

[Five]

It's good of you to say that, thanks. All threads that try to debate how legitimate or fuckable trans people are should be avoided, even if you mean well. They're inherently incredibly dehumanising and transphobic discussions and these things are not okay to discuss.

I was about to post in the thread that I'd absolutely be willing to date someone transgender, but the thread was closed before I got there. Are you saying that even people sending a positive message should avoid such discussions? Because then I feel it turns into even more of an echo chamber, and the naysayers get to feel like they're extra right for having the still-popular opinion.