If you want children it's not a waste, but if don't want them then don't invest in it. It's generally stored for 10 years up to about a maximum of 55 years it depends what is agreed upon by you and the doctor.
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Transgaf: 'cause boys will be girls (and vice versa)
- Thread starter lexi
- Start date
I banked. Think it ended up costing about $1200 for two years of storage, but the costs for further storage past that point are cheaper if I want to extend it. Part of it all depends on how potent you are, and thus how many sessions you'll need to do in order to get your desired amount of vials.
Also, keep in mind that it probably won't be the case that you just try once and the person gets pregnant. I think the suggestion was to expect 4~5 vials per attempt for success—of course, it could be less, it could be more. Having more than you need is always better than needing more but not having it.
And I would say that, if you have the money, bank sperm unless you are 100% certain you will never, ever want to have children that you help create. Opinions and wants change over time. You might think you probably don't want children now, but that can absolutely change.
Also, keep in mind that it probably won't be the case that you just try once and the person gets pregnant. I think the suggestion was to expect 4~5 vials per attempt for success—of course, it could be less, it could be more. Having more than you need is always better than needing more but not having it.
And I would say that, if you have the money, bank sperm unless you are 100% certain you will never, ever want to have children that you help create. Opinions and wants change over time. You might think you probably don't want children now, but that can absolutely change.
HAPPY ANNIVERSARY!!!! (Delayed by customs)
You're all lovely ladies. I've to say that i've learned a lot from this thread and all your experiences.
Really hope and all my best wishes that you all reach your dreams.
Saludos y felicitaciones desde Mexico.
WaffleTaco
Wants to outlaw technological innovation.
I'm thinking I want my own children, if I end up with a female. However I need to probably start saving money then now. On the flip hand I have considered buying some hormones off the internet and just doing it for a month, to see how it is. What do you imagine is the timeline for becoming infertile?
Butterfly Witch
Member
Basically your mileage will vary (get used to that phrase
).However you could probably do HRT for 6 months and then stop without any permanent effects.
Hey Waffle
If I am remembering correctly temporary sterility (that is, while you're on HRT you're not making sperm) starts around 6 months for most people and continues while you're on HRT and permanent sterility increases in intensity after that.
I haven't been keeping up with this thread as of late but if you are considering self administering hormones Waffle I would caution against it. Everyone's different, bodies change, bodies react to medications, which is why regular monitoring is so valuable. One person's correct dose is another person's overdose so obtaining hormones should always come through your doctor.
With that said you could always get your doctor to start you on a t blocker for a short time to see how you feel and go from there.
Congrats on the name change Bo!
If I am remembering correctly temporary sterility (that is, while you're on HRT you're not making sperm) starts around 6 months for most people and continues while you're on HRT and permanent sterility increases in intensity after that.
I haven't been keeping up with this thread as of late but if you are considering self administering hormones Waffle I would caution against it. Everyone's different, bodies change, bodies react to medications, which is why regular monitoring is so valuable. One person's correct dose is another person's overdose so obtaining hormones should always come through your doctor.
With that said you could always get your doctor to start you on a t blocker for a short time to see how you feel and go from there.
Congrats on the name change Bo!
WaffleTaco
Wants to outlaw technological innovation.
Basically your mileage will vary (get used to that phrase
However you could probably do HRT for 6 months and then stop without any permanent effects.
Oh I have been reading that phrase for around seven years haha, ever since I started researching this stuff around the age of 12. I am very glad my parents are not computer savvy.
I am probably going to try for three to four months and see how it goes. I can't really contact a doctor, due to being on parents insurance plan and am not out to them.
Good for you Bo =)
No. Enjoy!
You are already fed.
ikr, what the hell. I have no issues with this cause he is so gorgeous.
Baked potato or salad?
Butterfly Witch
Member
Butterfly Witch
Member
Serves me right for being lazy...
Haha, just wait... you're in for a lot more than that with those things!
Thanks Dai101
It was super cool and the doc has said I could go big made me very happy.
Hi...ermm....sooo....
I thought I should come out as trans
I've been keeping it pretty quiet but I'm fed up of having to keep it to myself all the time. I'm "stealth", you see, and have been for the past 5 or so years (I started transition looong time ago), but I realised I've just ended up in another sort of closet.
So, yes, hello
I did try to join the IRC channel but I absolutely failed. So I thought I'd post here instead.
I thought I should come out as trans
I've been keeping it pretty quiet but I'm fed up of having to keep it to myself all the time. I'm "stealth", you see, and have been for the past 5 or so years (I started transition looong time ago), but I realised I've just ended up in another sort of closet.
So, yes, hello
I did try to join the IRC channel but I absolutely failed. So I thought I'd post here instead.
Hi...ermm....sooo....
I thought I should come out as trans
I've been keeping it pretty quiet but I'm fed up of having to keep it to myself all the time. I'm "stealth", you see, and have been for the past 5 or so years (I started transition looong time ago), but I realised I've just ended up in another sort of closet.
So, yes, hello
I did try to join the IRC channel but I absolutely failed. So I thought I'd post here instead.
Welcome !
Can't wait to avatars to come back so I can see who you are xD
Hi...ermm....sooo....
I thought I should come out as trans
I've been keeping it pretty quiet but I'm fed up of having to keep it to myself all the time. I'm "stealth", you see, and have been for the past 5 or so years (I started transition looong time ago), but I realised I've just ended up in another sort of closet.
So, yes, hello
I did try to join the IRC channel but I absolutely failed. So I thought I'd post here instead.
Y halo thar.
Creepiness aside, WELCOME
Have your courtesy drink and ready the conffetti cannon!!
So that's why i can't see noone avatar. Oh well.
Hi...ermm....sooo....
I thought I should come out as trans
I've been keeping it pretty quiet but I'm fed up of having to keep it to myself all the time. I'm "stealth", you see, and have been for the past 5 or so years (I started transition looong time ago), but I realised I've just ended up in another sort of closet.
So, yes, hello
I did try to join the IRC channel but I absolutely failed. So I thought I'd post here instead.
Welcome! =D
I decided really early on that I wasn't interested in going "stealth", for exactly the reason you describe. At the same time, the temptation to do so has been really, well, real at times.
I don't hide being trans, but I also don't wear it on my sleeve, and it can be really obvious sometimes when someone who previously didn't know that you were trans finds out. It's moments like those that make going stealth feel so much more tempting. I stay with my decision to be open about my gender identity knowing that the other side is suffering too.
Both paths require lots of sacrifice, and I wouldn't wish either of them on anyone.
BTW, I hear ya on the IRC thing. I think I tried to join once a few years ago and utterly failed. XD
Simply Sarah
Member
Hi...ermm....sooo....
I thought I should come out as trans
I've been keeping it pretty quiet but I'm fed up of having to keep it to myself all the time. I'm "stealth", you see, and have been for the past 5 or so years (I started transition looong time ago), but I realised I've just ended up in another sort of closet.
So, yes, hello
I did try to join the IRC channel but I absolutely failed. So I thought I'd post here instead.
Welcome! If you're still having trouble with the IRC channels and are still interested, then we can provide (hopefully) more clear directions depending how much experience you have with IRC previously.
And yeah, "stealth" is an awkward thing that I have complicated relationship with. On the one hand, it can prevent a lot of issues as a trans person, but on the other hand it is, as you said, another sort of closet that requires hiding part of yourself from most people. As such, I feel it has to be a personal choice depending on the circumstances of someone and they can certainly change their view towards it as those circumstances changes.
For myself personally I have largely gotten to a point where, regardless of my actual ability to "pass" or not, I simply won't deny it in most places (unless I feel I would be put at risk otherwise) and generally won't hide it, if that makes sense. I'm me, my present is my present, and my history is my history.
Luckily, that never really happened to me, even when publicly transitioning at work. There were some coworkers that flat-out didn't understand what I was telling them when I came out(didn't help that I have a really dry style of humor, so some thought I was messing with them when I told them), so I'd have to explain a little, and there were a couple more that were curious and had their questions, but that stopped pretty quickly.
I've had close friends ask me about stuff, but it has been a long time since I've felt overwhelmed answering questions, and it's never reached a point where I was annoyed by it.
However, I see where you're coming from as well, because I have run into that issue when people would find out that I was vegan, although that has had more to do with the confrontational and/or defensive tone people can take in response.
Yeah. I've been kind of lucky but I'm fed up of it in my non-work life for now. Happy to be stealth work-wise just because like you say in your later post I just don't want to be the "curiosity corner".
It's not all it's cracked up to be, at least for me anyhoo.
Thanks!
Y halo thar.
Creepiness aside, WELCOME
Have your courtesy drink and ready the conffetti cannon!!
So that's why i can't see noone avatar. Oh well.
Thanks!
That's a really good post. Yeah. Before I transitioned, I was extremely clear in my mind about wanting to be stealth; I mean, that was the whole point, right? But - for me - it's been a case of hiding a lot of things about myself, particularly things that I needed to talk about, stuff I needed to get off my chest or reach out for help with. I lost a lot of friends and family when I first came out, and it really drove me back into the closet - I didn't want to have to go through that pain again. But gradually, over the last few years at least, I've realised that being completely accepted in my gender as my gender hasn't changed the fact that I'm figuring this out as I go along. It feels like a wall between me and other people. If I'm friends with someone, I want them to be friends with me - with all of my hang-ups and quirks. It feels dishonest not to be a bit more open. That's just me though - transition is such a personal thing. I'm just tired of having to hide so much of how I feel day-to-day.
Having said that, there's no way I'm coming out at work!
The bolded part was killing me when I was still largely closested. I ended up coming out to the handful of friends that I spent the most time with ~7 months prior to when I actually decided to transition. I couldn't take the pressure that came with being around them and not being honest about something so important to me.
Also, I hear ya on the work thing. I came out at work when I did because I didn't really have a choice. I had been on hormones for 7 or 8 months, and working on my voice while on the phone at work(yay customer service). I was starting to pass(I hate that word, but I'll go with it here) in dude clothes outside of work(more because of my voice than my body, I assure you XD), and some of the new employees coming into the job were gendering me correctly even though I wasn't really out to any of my other coworkers yet.
When I actually came out at work, part of the confusion about my announcement came from some of my coworkers thinking that I was coming out as a trans guy(which happened sometimes with trans guy friends before I even started transitioning, so I guess I just carry that vibe).
I can understand how it can be difficult and will erect a barrier between others but personally I wouldn't mind that much. If I could do it I would, but it really depends when I start.
Simply Sarah
Member
Well, another thing you want to consider is that if you're taking a true stealth approach you tend to be stuck with a bit of a fear of being "clocked" or otherwise outed, because you've invested in that stealth identity. It's often a messy situation.
I've had the "trans guy" situation too. It's funny but also a bit weird. In fact, transgender-"ism" is weird to me, full stop. I don't like "pass" as a term either, or "stealth" or any of these weird societal concepts that get in the way of you just being yourself.
I hate describing myself as "transsexual" too. I'm kind of glad that "trans" is a bit more common now as I feel it's a little bit more fluid, although even then I prefer just calling myself queer. For years (and even now) I fall into a weird sort of frame of mind where I wonder incessantly about whether there might be some connection with the hormonal deficiencies I had growing up (puberty was a bit weird, and had to have growth hormone injections) but I'm trying to just learn to let it be. It's hard when society has so, so, so many different ideas and theories about what you are.
Was work OK with you then? I transitioned in one job (working on make-up counters, so a pretty safe environment to be a bit inbetween genders!) and then started my so-called career once I'd already socially transitioned. Again, positives and negatives to doing that.
Yeah, precisely. It's not that different from being worried about someone 'finding out' before you even transition!
What's this about the IRC then? I'm just hopeless with it. I've tried but I think I might just be too thick to figure it out.
Simply Sarah
Member
Yeah, terms like "pass", "stealth", and the like don't sit so well with me and I tend to only use them at all because they tend to quickly describe concepts that other people get. Hell, I'm not even a real fan of trans and cis since they're so very binary.
I've sent you a link in a PM, although I'm not sure if it's any different than what Lexi might have provided you with.
I've always felt that I wanted to just simply transition in peace with my loving fiancé by my side and just play video games for two years until most of the hormone's effects are done with. However, I knew that wasn't viable for me the second I graduated uni without a job.
To my workplace's credit, they have been amazing when it comes to personal support. I started my first day shift today and everything has continued like hardly anything has changed. I know I'm very lucky when it comes to this. I honestly do wish everyone had the experience I had with my work...and I work in tech (In South England, as a qualifier).
To my workplace's credit, they have been amazing when it comes to personal support. I started my first day shift today and everything has continued like hardly anything has changed. I know I'm very lucky when it comes to this. I honestly do wish everyone had the experience I had with my work...and I work in tech (In South England, as a qualifier).
I am worried about getting outed by someone regardless of stealthiness it or not. Due to being at the mercy of the NHS though I don't realistically see a whole stealth thing working even more so as I don't want to wait until after uni.
I really struggled with the whole "stealth" thing. The problem I ran into is that a crapton of people know who I am, and I'm in the public eye in various ways, so had I wanted to go that route, I basically would either have had to vanish and just re-appear as someone completely different (starting all connections I've made from scratch), or have public and private me, where public me never stopped being male.
Both of those options seemed like they'd make my life harder, not easier. So, I just sort of gave up and was open about my situation. I think the thing I hope for most is that, as time moves along, more people only know me post-transition, and so my having been male at some point is an element of my life that they just don't have knowledge of or experience with.
And, I've never been stealth in life from the moment I was born, given my curly red hair. *laughs* So just hiding away and blending in already wasn't going to happen.
Both of those options seemed like they'd make my life harder, not easier. So, I just sort of gave up and was open about my situation. I think the thing I hope for most is that, as time moves along, more people only know me post-transition, and so my having been male at some point is an element of my life that they just don't have knowledge of or experience with.
And, I've never been stealth in life from the moment I was born, given my curly red hair. *laughs* So just hiding away and blending in already wasn't going to happen.
I started off trying to be stealth. My whole mindset was, I just wanna be a normal, everyday woman. That's all.
Didn't take too long for me to realize that 1) even without being trans, I'm not normal, and 2) I prefer to be weird anyway. So the whole idea of going "stealth" started making less and less sense. Wasn't like it would buy me anything, as far as acceptance.
So nowadays I'm just this weird trans bunny girl thing, and how much of it I show varies from time to time. Granted, the trans part is more of a "talk about" than "show", but I talk about it at work. I've stopped caring. If someone looks at a big green-haired girl and thinks "she'll be totally normal!" that's their own fault.
Didn't take too long for me to realize that 1) even without being trans, I'm not normal, and 2) I prefer to be weird anyway. So the whole idea of going "stealth" started making less and less sense. Wasn't like it would buy me anything, as far as acceptance.
So nowadays I'm just this weird trans bunny girl thing, and how much of it I show varies from time to time. Granted, the trans part is more of a "talk about" than "show", but I talk about it at work. I've stopped caring. If someone looks at a big green-haired girl and thinks "she'll be totally normal!" that's their own fault.
This is me. I'm a giant, my voice is to low and I stick out. However I could tried to force it but I knew it wouldn't work for me so I just embraced it.I started off trying to be stealth. My whole mindset was, I just wanna be a normal, everyday woman. That's all.
Didn't take too long for me to realize that 1) even without being trans, I'm not normal, and 2) I prefer to be weird anyway. So the whole idea of going "stealth" started making less and less sense. Wasn't like it would buy me anything, as far as acceptance.
So nowadays I'm just this weird trans bunny girl thing, and how much of it I show varies from time to time. Granted, the trans part is more of a "talk about" than "show", but I talk about it at work. I've stopped caring. If someone looks at a big green-haired girl and thinks "she'll be totally normal!" that's their own fault.
Tell everyone I'm a Trans Girl and I'm one happy lady. Coworkers are wanting to kill me because of my excitement over my boob job.