Could be worst ... a friend once was really happy for me and wanted show that he was as happy as I was because of me and said "so when you get boobs are you going to show me ? =D" in the most unintentionaly creepy way possible xD
-
Hey, guest user. Hope you're enjoying NeoGAF! Have you considered registering for an account? Come join us and add your take to the daily discourse.
Transgaf: 'cause boys will be girls (and vice versa)
- Thread starter lexi
- Start date
Could be worst ... a friend once was really happy for me and wanted show that he was as happy as I was because of me and said "so when you get boobs are you going to show me ? =D" in the most unintentionaly creepy way possible xD
Lol at this point I had to say out loud how not to ask, I get it you're not into to me but had 2 women and two men ask I'd they could see them lol.
I get it
JonathanNemo
Member
Welcome sploatee, and congrats to everyone else.
Here's some confetti:
Thanks!
Good luck!
It went better than I expected. I was a manager at a pizza chain, and the franchise had no prior experience with someone transitioning at the workplace(their HR dept just seemed clueless), so they were pretty obnoxious about some stuff, but people that I actual worked with day-to-day were great. My boss and I had a good working relationship, so he handled it well and helped me wherever he could.
Congrats!!
Lee Chaolan
Member
It makes me warm and fuzzy to see how many here lately were lucky to make big steps forward.
Same here. That's so awesome <3
Oh yes, I've gotten that reaction. Not from my coworkers as they had seen me "leaking gender" leading up to my transition, but from the two who were organizing my high school reunion a few years ago. I hadn't seen either of them in 25 years and they thought I must be kidding until I actually showed up. Very positive experience, by the way. I have far more friends from the class now than I ever did while actually going to school.
I deliberately rejected the notion of trying to pass very early on because I didn't like the overtones of deception the term implies. I've always aimed to be accepted instead and find that keeps me in the right frame of mind. I also prefer the term trans or transgender because I find the emphasis on "sex" in transsexual to be wildly inappropriate. That's nobody's business but mine and my partner's. Is it any wonder people tend to ask a self-proclaimed transsexual about their genitals? Terminology can be a rat hole for discussion, but it's meaningful.
I've loved seeing updates from folks here. It makes NeoGAF feel even more like a welcoming community, even with the occasional case of GamerGate-ism rearing its ugly head in the general forums.
That's ace
I think that's interesting. I'm not quite as confident as you. I have awful self-esteem and self-acceptance issues, so I struggle on daily basis to even figure out what it is to be a human being, never mind all of the layers of identity.
Leithkorias
Member
I know this is over a hundred pages ago but I just started reading this topic. You just described me to the letter. Its definitely not a fetish.
So back to page 18 or so, got a lot of catching up to do but just wanted to add that I support all of you as well on both spectrums of transgender
I went to school with a MtF trans in middle school and she went through absolute hell. I don't even know what ended up with her because her family moved and I never saw her again but her story, struggle and treatment by others stuck with me. I don't understand what drives people to treat others so poorly when we all just want to live our lives.
I'm sorry to hear that and hope that you'll find more confidence in yourself with time. It helped tremendously for me to have personal passion for software development to pursue and excel in while building confidence and respect. I still have days where doubts creep in, but they're managable. Once I realized that nobody is as calm and self-assured as they appear it made it easier to deal with my own fears.
Looking back to school I had the opinion then that if I kept everything a secret would be the best thing. But now I realize that it didn't change anything. They all basically new, like how dogs can smell fear.
As for confidence and job. I learned a profession that absolutely means nothing to me, I just took it back when my life was a disaster. Too bad the job is overcrowded with jobseekers and needs confidence as a personal qualification.
I need to learn something better.
As for confidence and job. I learned a profession that absolutely means nothing to me, I just took it back when my life was a disaster. Too bad the job is overcrowded with jobseekers and needs confidence as a personal qualification.
I need to learn something better.
I hope so, too. Thanks.
JonathanNemo
Member
Yes, I think a passion for the field and a desire to do better to help others make computers the Ted Nelson be-whatever-you-want-it-to-be machine, rather than get bogged down in the layers of "computers just do it this way" crap, helped quite a bit in my pursuit of work matters.
There is also a very interesting, if broken, social element to developing software that I've been more curious about lately. I've heard it described as "the compiler doesn't judge, it only cares about what is correct," and that's why a number of transgender folk I know have stuck with it in various capacities.
However, that statement about the compiler is not quite accurate. There still lie a number of problems, between the people who make this software, and a need to cooperate with other people to learn about the layers we build on and build better things. Those remain unresolved, and make it difficult to get mutual, beneficial progress done. It's one big reason why Apple, a company that reigns in as much control over every element they can, has been alarmingly successful in recent years.
There are more trans-specific issues in software and hardware, but I don't have enough data on hand to make solid conclusions about that. At the moment, I'm an observer and a participant.
How ?
Her last posts are all .... normal
The most berserk one is from more than a week ago
WaffleTaco
Wants to outlaw technological innovation.
I really just want this to be over...I hate being trans so much. It's not fucking fair! I miss my gf so much and it hurts so much to see her and not be able to just hold her. I don't even care about the sex, I just miss the intimacy.
Rajack
Member
Its true, I saw the proof.
Butterfly Witch
Member
I'm so sorry WaffleTaco, no one should have to go through that.
I know it doesn't serve as any type of consolation but it will get better and you will find someone who will love you for who you are and not what gender you were assigned at birth.
I've seen a lot of theories about why technology has been a good fit for transgender individuals. Indeed it seems like there are dozens of pretty compelling reasons why it should be so, and not all of them apply equally to all of the individuals I know. For me it was partly a matter of it being a relatively new field and industry. There weren't preconceptions about who would be successful so it was all about the ideas and ability to execute on them, not who I was. That made it easy not to worry about how I identified during the hours I spent writing code.
Im so sorry Waffle. I really do hope the pain soothes soon.
As much as I'm proud to be trans I still do not want others to be because this life can be so awful and unfair.
As for the other members, this has been a very brutal and sad last few weeks.
Rajack
Member
As far as I know Shidoshi hasn't been banned, but I've been wrong before.
:/
shidoshi, lexi, and gaborn did a ton for me. i had a lot of ignorant views on a lot of subjects to say the least, and each of them in their own way had a lot of patience when it came to explaining things.
She's not banned.
Simply Sarah
Member
gaborn
Shidoshi posted here a couple days ago and her title isn't Banned, so she should still be around.
gaborn
Shidoshi posted here a couple days ago and her title isn't Banned, so she should still be around.
still saddened by gaborn's passing. he reached out to a lot of people. went far beyond what just happened to be the thread of the day in the OT too. genuinely miss him
(sorry if i'm being a downer)
awesome. i'll pm
thnx
lol i was scared too
Butterfly Witch
Member
WaffleTaco
Wants to outlaw technological innovation.
I'm sorry for being dramatic earlier, it's just so stupid for the only reason for my relationship not working because of something I can't control =(. Plus it also sucks because she's now "dating" the guy that has loved her for years, who she also incidentally loved when we were still together. I never considered this happening and its just been tearing me apart.
I am sad that Lexi got banned though.
I am sad that Lexi got banned though.
No need to apologize Waffle.
That kinda pain is difficult and I know at least I will always feel like you are free to share and vent to us and we will always listen and try to be supportive.
crimsondynamics
Member
I normally don't contribute to this thread but felt compelled to comment on the above statement.
I'm straight and I strongly believe that everyone is free to choose their sexual orientation but what blows my mind is your statement.
Where I work, not only is racial and gender discrimination training mandatory, but we have a bi-yearly event where the company's officially endorsed LGBT committee organizes a party and an email is sent to everyone encouraging them to attend. It's usually a packed event too.
So the fact that you have to "come out" and have your managers' support, while welcome, is not even an issue in my workplace. We simply don't care at all, and that's how I think it should be.
Good luck with coming out, but at the same time it's a bit disappointing in my opinion that you even have to go through this in the first place (nothing against you of course, I guess I'm just ranting against the system and society we live in).
Leithkorias
Member
Well it sounds like you live in a utopia.
Butterfly Witch
Member
It's okay, sometimes we act on pain and that only shows we're humans
I'm sorry that you are hurting and aching but the truth is that if someone doesn't love you because you're X,Y or Z then they never truly loved you and it's best to just leave that alone instead of pursuing anything because it will only cause pain sooner or later.
We cannot run away from ourselves no matter how hard we try and a truly loving partner will love you for who and what you are unconditionally.
I hope you feel better soon.
IceDoesntHelp
Banned
its over.
its all over for me.
I feel awful, and I feel like shit right now, well have been for the past week.
I'm so easily persuaded and taken control of.
its all over for me.
I feel awful, and I feel like shit right now, well have been for the past week.
I'm so easily persuaded and taken control of.
Rajack
Member
Things may seem bleak right now Ice, but you can overcome this. Please get in touch with us, we can talk you through this difficult time
Take care Ice.
If you need to talk about feel free to reach out and I will always.
Android18a
Member
I went to the GP on Tuesday because I've been unwell and I wanted to ask for referal to the gender clinic again, but I chickened out at the last minute and just said "k thanks bye" after the checkup...
32 next Tuesday too. Don't want to leave it another 5 years... why do the years go by so quickly? =(
And just want to say don't give up, Ice. Hoping you're ok.
32 next Tuesday too. Don't want to leave it another 5 years... why do the years go by so quickly? =(
And just want to say don't give up, Ice. Hoping you're ok.
Hope you're OK. Feel free to PM me if you need to.
Tell me about it. I'm 34 (!) now. [edit: oops! I'm 33. I forget because I always count ahead] I started on growth hormones when I was 11 because I wasn't developing. I came out as trans at 19. It took me until 25 to get on some kind of clinic list. It took until 26 to get a hormone prescription. I finished my RLT in 2010. I've been waiting for bottom surgery since then. It's a fucking nightmare (sorry for swearing, but it really is). It's driving me out of my mind.
The gist is that while I was aware gender expression was explicitly listed in the harassment prohibitions in training, I was extremely wary of what potentially could happen when I came out on the job. Coming out was inescapable, as I needed said job in the first place to afford to even change my name. So yes, the policy was to be supportive, yet I was afraid that in practice I'd run into a particularly nasty restaurant culture and maybe even lose my job. So yeah, I pretended not to be me for as long as I could to make sure I advanced myself as far as possible... in case I drew a really crummy hand. Thankfully I drew a stellar one.
My work place holds workshops and events in support of the LGBT community too.