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[Nesotenso]

I had a question about the definitions of the terms 'transgender' and 'transsexual'.

It seems confusing because they seem to overlap.

Is this link right about the differences?

http://www.diffen.com/difference/Transgender_vs_Transsexual

If transgender is an umbrella term, are they interchangeable? Or are there cases where I should refer to someone as transsexual and not transgender?

 

[iirate]

Does anyone have any advice related to coming out at your workplace if you're just starting and socially transitioned in the past? I'm presenting as my identified gender already, and I'm two days on the job, but I never legally changed my given name(the name is gender neutral, but uses the masculine spelling) or sex marker. I'm in Texas, but I know that my employers has protections in place for trans employees. Weight gain from the last year + being off of my meds for that time means that I'm more visible than I was at my last job as well.

All of the information I can find mostly has to do with disclosing before the hiring process or before transitioning on the job(which is something I already did at my last job). How should I contact HR at this point, and is there much reason to?

I had a question about the definitions of the terms 'transgender' and 'transsexual'.

It seems confusing because they seem to overlap.

Is this link right about the differences?

http://www.diffen.com/difference/Transgender_vs_Transsexual

If transgender is an umbrella term, are they interchangeable? Or are there cases where I should refer to someone as transsexual and not transgender?

Transsexual is a more specific term, and transgender is a general(umbrella) term for a bunch of different identities. Unless you know that the person identifies specifically as transsexual, then transgender is a much, much safer/better default.

 

[Butterfly Witch]

I had a question about the definitions of the terms 'transgender' and 'transsexual'.

It seems confusing because they seem to overlap.

Is this link right about the differences?

http://www.diffen.com/difference/Transgender_vs_Transsexual

If transgender is an umbrella term, are they interchangeable? Or are there cases where I should refer to someone as transsexual and not transgender?

Transsexual as a term has mostly been discarded and goes unused in comparison with transgender. They are basically identical, depending on how one defines transgender.

I don't like transsexual because, in my mind, it doesn't accommodate for the fact that gender is non-binary and some transgender women would rather keep their genitalia instead of seeking SRS/GRS and vice versa. In my opinion, transsexual just isn't nearly as useful as a term as transgender. We're all different and we all express ourselves differently and have different levels of dysphoria. Only we know exactly what steps we need to take to become who we want to be, be it HRT or whatever other surgeries. It also fails to take into account people who are pre-transition or mid-transition.

If I identify as a woman but am pre-transition, am I less of a woman than the one person who has enough luck, blessings and privilege to afford all the bells and whistles?

 

[mollipen]

Does anyone have any advice related to coming out at your workplace if you're just starting and socially transitioned in the past? I'm presenting as my identified gender already, and I'm two days on the job, but I never legally changed my given name(the name is gender neutral, but uses the masculine spelling) or sex marker. I'm in Texas, but I know that my employers has protections in place for trans employees. Weight gain from the last year + being off of my meds for that time means that I'm more visible than I was at my last job as well.

All of the information I can find mostly has to do with disclosing before the hiring process or before transitioning on the job(which is something I already did at my last job). How should I contact HR at this point, and is there much reason to?

Just to be clear: why do you want to come out at work? Are there times you'll need to use your legal name instead of your new name, and you want to cut off any confusion? Is your presentation one that might cause confusion, and you want to nip any in the bud?

I would assume–and I'm saying this having no experience in a situation where I needed an HR department, or one even existed—is that HR would be the best place to start. If you do feel like you need to come out about your situation, I'd do it with them first, and see what recommendations they have for how to handle it. But, again, that's me imagining what I'd not, not what I've actually done.

 

[iirate]

Just to be clear: why do you want to come out at work? Are there times you'll need to use your legal name instead of your new name, and you want to cut off any confusion? Is your presentation one that might cause confusion, and you want to nip any in the bud?

Both. I'm in a call center and will be required to give customers my legal name. I'm also worried about my presentation at the moment. I'd like to use my chosen name rather than my legal one at work as well, if possible. I haven't had any problems with pronouns or restroom use or anything, but the only other place I've worked since transition was the place I publicly transitioned at, so this is a little new to me. I also just wasn't sure if there were any potential issues with not disclosing that I may have missed.

I would assume–and I'm saying this having no experience in a situation where I needed an HR department, or one even existed—is that HR would be the best place to start. If you do feel like you need to come out about your situation, I'd do it with them first, and see what recommendations they have for how to handle it. But, again, that's me imagining what I'd not, not what I've actually done.

I'd definitely write HR first, but I was partially fishing for opinions on whether I should even bother at this point or not.

 

[Alchemy]

HEY ALCHEMY YOU DORK! See, I knew I wasn't wrong!

From the California's DMV checklist of requirements for name changes—VERY FIRST ITEM:

Huh... no one said crap about that to me at any point. Well this will be interesting!

This is what I was following, and it doesn't state that the DMV needs to check your social... but maybe it is outdated? :| The stuff it does mention is what I did though, and no one asked about my social directly.
http://transgenderlawcenter.org/issues/id/changing-your-legal-identification-in-california

 

[mollipen]

According to the Cali DMV site, it's going to kickback an error, and you'll get something in the mail saying you won't get your ID until the issue is fixed. I'd go to The SSA soon as you can to get it taken care of - should be an easy change with them.

And ALWAYS consult the government site as well, and have that be your main source of info. Things can change that trans-related sites might not be updated on.

 

[Alchemy]

According to the Cali DMV site, it's going to kickback an error, and you'll get something in the mail saying you won't get your ID until the issue is fixed. I'd go to The SSA soon as you can to get it taken care of - should be an easy change with them.

And ALWAYS consult the government site as well, and have that be your main source of info. Things can change that trans-related sites might not be updated on.

Welp I know where I'm going tomorrow XD

 

[Dai101]

Hmm. Should I be mean? I really feel like I should be mean.

Oh damn.... i apologize if that came up too creepy and way out of hand.

 

[Platy]

So ... anyone seeing Sense8 ?

You should

 

[Kinsei]

So ... anyone seeing Sense8 ?

You should

It's really good. I hope we get confirmation of a second season soon.

 

[mollipen]

Oh damn.... i apologize if that came up too creepy and way out of hand.

Nonono. I was just plotting things, that's all. My devilishness didn't translate how I thought it would, I guess.

 

[Sabucin]

I have a question to anyone who can explain it to me.

You see, there is a Netflix series called "Sense8" and in this show appears a lesbian couple. In the beggining that's pretty normal, right? The aspect that I cannot understand completely is that one of the girls in that relationship is a trasgender (he was born as a boy and he became a girl).

The story of this girl says that she always felt that something wasn't right inside her, despite the fact that she had a masculine physique (I think that every trasgender may feel in that way, right?).

Anyway, my question is: Why a boy who feels himself as a girl could possible be attracted by... girls? I mean, in this situation shouldn't be better stay as a man and find a woman to love?

To clarify, I'm not judging, complaining or arguing about this, I just want to understand in a physological point of view this situation. I have plenty gay friends of both genres so basically any doubt about gay people has been solved.

I don't have any trasgender friend or someone to ask for it.

PS: My doubt is with all due respect and it is not something homophobic whatsoever, again.. it is purely a physological/mental search of understanding

PS 2: Sorry if my redaction could be confusing sometimes, English is not my native language.

 

[mollipen]

I have a question to anyone who can explain it to me.

Sure! Also, to clarify, since English isn't your first language, somebody is "transgender", not "a transgender". Transgender is an adjective, not a noun.

Anyway, my question is: Why a boy who feels himself as a girl could possible be attracted by... girls? I mean, in this situation shouldn't be better stay as a man and find a woman to love?

The problem is you're thinking of everything in terms of "who I want to sleep with". Being transgender is about "who I am". First question is, am I a man or a woman? Next question is, am I attracted to men or women?

So, that's the part you seem to be having a problem with. In your example, if they stay a man, then they still don't feel like themselves, because they feel like a woman, not a man. It doesn't matter who they date or sleep with.

Why are some men attracted to other men? Or women attracted to women? That's just how life is. If a transgender woman should just stay a man so that he can date a women, then if a woman likes other women, should she become a man? Of course not, because that's not how she feels.

So, just remember that "who am I?" and "who do I like?" are two totally separate questions.

 

[Sabucin]

Sure! Also, to clarify, since English isn't your first language, somebody is "transgender", not "a transgender". Transgender is an adjective, not a noun.




The problem is you're thinking of everything in terms of "who I want to sleep with". Being transgender is about "who I am". First question is, am I a man or a woman? Next question is, am I attracted to men or women?

So, that's the part you seem to be having a problem with. In your example, if they stay a man, then they still don't feel like themselves, because they feel like a woman, not a man. It doesn't matter who they date or sleep with.

Why are some men attracted to other men? Or women attracted to women? That's just how life is. If a transgender woman should just stay a man so that he can date a women, then if a woman likes other women, should she become a man? Of course not, because that's not how she feels.

So, just remember that "who am I?" and "who do I like?" are two totally separate questions.

Thank you so much for your response shidoshi! It was so damn obvious that now I feel kinda embarrased LOL!

 

[Dai101]

Nonono. I was just plotting things, that's all. My devilishness didn't translate how I thought it would, I guess.

oh...... OH!! That kind of "mean" I should have guessed XD

(sometimes is hard to really get what one was really trying to say in writen form)

 

[Dr. Buni]

So I was here training my voice, absolutely sure only me and my dog were home, when I hear a noise and then notice my dad hadn't left yet.

XD god the embarrassment was real

 

[Platy]

Thank you so much for your response shidoshi! It was so damn obvious that now I feel kinda embarrased LOL!

Sorry, but I always picture people asking these things to have sex EVERYTIME. Like the only thing they do is have sex. Their entire identity is "I have sex" xD

 

[Alchemy]

HEY ALCHEMY YOU DORK! See, I knew I wasn't wrong!

From the California's DMV checklist of requirements for name changes—VERY FIRST ITEM:

Got my social security stuff fixed, the woman there said the DMV usually kicks people over to social security first if they notice stuff is wonky... so I have no clue at this point. Just gotta wait for stuff in the mail.

Also venting: Social Security office was only open from 9am to 12pm today... 3 hours.... what the crap?! Think I need to chug coffee, power nap, and shoot space wizards to wake up T.T

 

[sploatee]

Got my social security stuff fixed, the woman there said the DMV usually kicks people over to social security first if they notice stuff is wonky... so I have no clue at this point. Just gotta wait for stuff in the mail.

Also venting: Social Security office was only open from 9am to 12pm today... 3 hours.... what the crap?! Think I need to chug coffee, power nap, and shoot space wizards to wake up T.T

Space...wizards?

 

[mollipen]

Space...wizards?

Destiny, I'd assume.

 

[Alchemy]

Destiny, I'd assume.

I thought it was common knowledge that two days after your gender change you had to go to kill space wizards on the moon then travel to Mars and destroy time traveling robots...

 

[sploatee]

Destiny, I'd assume.

I thought so. I also suffer from this affliction :-(

 

[mollipen]

Also venting: Social Security office was only open from 9am to 12pm today... 3 hours.... what the crap?! Think I need to chug coffee, power nap, and shoot space wizards to wake up T.T

I'm going to attempt my court appointment, the Social Security office, and the DMV all in the same day.

Some would say that such things cannot be done—but those people weren't me.

 

[Dai101]

I'm going to attempt my court appointment, the Social Security office, and the DMV all in the same day.

madness... MADNESS I SAY!!!!!!!!!!

 

[Alchemy]

I'm going to attempt my court appointment, the Social Security office, and the DMV all in the same day.

Some would say that such things cannot be done—but those people weren't me.

You are a crazy lady, but good luck! The Winnetka DMV took me like three hours to get through, and another 1.5 hours for Social Security. My court hearing was at 8:30, but I didn't get out of there until like 10 after waiting for the judge and getting copies of stuff. Depending on the day you go and the hours of your local offices... might be cutting it a bit tight!

 

[mollipen]

The Winnetka DMV took me like three hours to get through

There's part of your problem! Never use that DMV. It's right in the middle of the valley, so it attracts a wider amount of people. I'm trying to decide if I'm daring enough to make an appointment beforehand or not, and risk potentially not being able to make it in the end.

 

[Alchemy]

There's part of your problem! Never use that DMV. It's right in the middle of the valley, so it attracts a wider amount of people. I'm trying to decide if I'm daring enough to make an appointment beforehand or not, and risk potentially not being able to make it in the end.

I had no idea until I showed up T.T

 

[Sabucin]

Wrong thread LOL!

 

[mollipen]

Wrong thread LOL!

Hey, that's very closed-minded of you. Let your post decide for itself what thread it belongs in—don't try to force it into one just because that's where you want it.

 

[Dai101]

Wrong thread LOL!

 

[Mononoke]

Oops, I posted in the wrong thread. Gah. =/

Really sorry for that. I'll pay closer attention next time. Was on my phone.

 

[Jawmuncher]

What are people confusing this thread with lol.

 

[Amalthea]

Yeah, they all come here "accidentally".

 

[Platy]

What are people confusing this thread with lol.

On a unrelated note, Trainsgaf : 'cause steam will be movement (and vice versa) is scared with all the hormone questions

 

[Mononoke]

Yeah, they all come here "accidentally".

I'm really sorry. I didn't mean to bump the thread. I promise I'll be more careful next time. I wish I could do something to make this right. I'm so so sorry.

This thread is incredible, and so is this community and I'm really sorry for not being more careful. I'm an idiot. It won't happen again.

 

[Amalthea]

I'm really sorry. I didn't mean to bump the thread. I promise I'll be more careful next time. I wish I could do something to make this right. I'm so so sorry.

This thread is incredible, and so is this community and I'm really sorry for not being more careful. I'm an idiot. It won't happen again.

I'm not angry. I meant that ironic. ;P

 

[Jawmuncher]

I'm really sorry. I didn't mean to bump the thread. I promise I'll be more careful next time. I wish I could do something to make this right. I'm so so sorry.

This thread is incredible, and so is this community and I'm really sorry for not being more careful. I'm an idiot. It won't happen again.

It's not that big of a deal I assure you. Thread had been quiet for awhile anyway.

 

[Mononoke]

I'm not angry. I meant that ironic. ;P

Oh okay. Sorry again guys. I'll be more careful for now on.

As a side note, I just wanted to say, you guys are so amazing. I have nothing but respect for this community. You guys are such a big inspiration to me. *hugs*

 

[Platy]

It's not that big of a deal I assure you. Thread had been quiet for awhile anyway.

Not my problem that YOU PEOPLE didn't watched Sense8

 

[sploatee]

On a unrelated note, Trainsgaf : 'cause steam will be movement (and vice versa) is scared with all the hormone questions

Amazing!

Oh okay. Sorry again guys. I'll be more careful for now on.

As a side note, I just wanted to say, you guys are so amazing. I have nothing but respect for this community. You guys are such a big inspiration to me. *hugs*

I'm really sorry. I didn't mean to bump the thread. I promise I'll be more careful next time. I wish I could do something to make this right. I'm so so sorry.

This thread is incredible, and so is this community and I'm really sorry for not being more careful. I'm an idiot. It won't happen again.

Dude chill! it's ok

Damn cisnormative hetero agenda stealing our posts

 

[Jawmuncher]

Not my problem that YOU PEOPLE didn't watched Sense8

Believe me I wanted to, but all I have is my phone and Netflix on spotty service looks like nothing but pixels.

 

[Sibylus]

Yeah, they all come here "accidentally".

This is how the transbola spreads: chance contacts. No rats on trade ships, posters on video game boards.

Not my problem that YOU PEOPLE didn't watched Sense8

It's on my nebulous list of things to watch!

 

[sploatee]

Just wondering...

Which trans people do you look up to?

Being in my relatively early 30s, the fact that there's now all these media-present trans folk is kind of mind boggling. It's happened so quickly.

For me - I think Laverne Cox is awesome. There's a British girl called Munroe Bergdorf who rocks. There's also a shit hot lawyer and general icon here in the UK called Stephen Whittle.

The main trans media presence is this girl called Paris Lees but I find her a bit too full of herself.

What about you?

 

[Erin S Kittens]

Just wondering...

Which trans people do you look up to?

Being in my relatively early 30s, the fact that there's now all these media-present trans folk is kind of mind boggling. It's happened so quickly.

For me - I think Laverne Cox is awesome. There's a British girl called Munroe Bergdorf who rocks. There's also a shit hot lawyer and general icon here in the UK called Stephen Whittle.

The main trans media presence is this girl called Paris Lees but I find her a bit too full of herself.

What about you?

My faves are Sylvia Rivera, Marsha P. Johnson, Leslie Feinberg, Mya Hall, and Kylie Brooks.

 

[Sibylus]

Laverne Cox and Janet Mock are the big two.

Spoiler

Not on this list- Caitlyn Jenner

 

[mollipen]

On a unrelated note, Trainsgaf : 'cause steam will be movement (and vice versa) is scared with all the hormone questions

One of the times I wish this place had a "like" button.

 

[walkmetothelake]

Just wondering...

Which trans people do you look up to?

Being in my relatively early 30s, the fact that there's now all these media-present trans folk is kind of mind boggling. It's happened so quickly.

For me - I think Laverne Cox is awesome. There's a British girl called Munroe Bergdorf who rocks. There's also a shit hot lawyer and general icon here in the UK called Stephen Whittle.

The main trans media presence is this girl called Paris Lees but I find her a bit too full of herself.

What about you?

Laura Jane Grace from Against Me!. Transitioning while in a relatively big band and public industry was and still is really brave and inspiring.

The album Transgender Dysphoria Blues along with my reaction while listening to it was a big push towards seriously thinking about my gender and such.

 

[Alchemy]

Social security card arrived. Nothing from the DMV yet. So happy to see my name on official documentation though, I'm dying.

 

[Platy]

I REALLY hope they cut Don Corneo quest in FF7 HD... there is no way that modern japan don't make it ridiculously offensive in hd